Undercover
by oliviathefangirl13
Summary: When the team is sent to Maryland to catch a serial killer that hunts prostitutes with brown hair and eyes Emily is used as undercover bait. While Emily is undercover the unsub outsmarts the BAU and is able to abduct Emily for real. Will Emily be able to survive the brutal torture brought on by the sadist or will the team run out of time? read to find out :)
1. Chapter 1

**Hi guys! this is my first criminal minds fanfic so I hope I don't go out of character too much! I would appreciate reviews so i know how Im doing! thanks :)**

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"So far there have been 7 victims in Frederick, Maryland. Olivia Brown, 36, was the first victim. She was found 7 days after she was taken. Madison Grace, 33, was the second victim. She was found 3 days after she was taken. Next was Kate Rollins, 28. She was found 1 day after she was taken. The fourth victim was Elizabeth Banks, 39, who was found 6 days after she was taken. Next was Amanda Rogers, 42, who was found 9 days after she was taken. The sixth victim was was Eva Mitchel, 32, who was found 3 days after she was taken. The last victim was Angela Phillips, 31, who was found 4 days after she was taken. Each victim is thought to be a prostitute. Each victim also had dark brown hair and eyes. The killings began 2 months ago with a few days in between each abduction." JJ finishes distributing case files and takes her seat at the table.

Each member of the team takes a few seconds to absorb the information in front of them.

Hotch is the first to speak. "JJ what was the cause of death for each victim?"

A sigh escapes the blondes lips before she begins. "Thats the strange part. Each victim has a slit throat that cut the coratid artery which caused them to bleed out."

"I don't see how thats strange."

"While each victim died of blood loss from a sliced they all had different amounts of injuries. Kate Rollins was found 1 day after she was taken and she, I hate to say this, only suffered broken bones. It appears that he beat her. Amanda Rogers was held the longest and along with severely broken bones she also suffered electrical burns as well as stab wounds."

Garcia almost choked on the water she was drinking "oh sweet Jesus."

While Morgan puts his hand on Garcia for support Reid begins to analyze.

"Its interesting that the victim captivity time varies so much. It could be due to the unsubs preference in victims or it could be up to the victims themselves."

Emily tilts her head and looks to Reid for an explanation.

"The unsub fixates on prostitutes with brown hair and eyes and his first form of torture is to beat them, why?"

"He is most likely a sadist with a a deep hatred for a dark featured prostitute that he knew. Most likely the victim represents a mother or caregiver that he feels wronged him or even abused him." Rossi jumps in.

"Right. Assume that the victim represents his mother who most likely abused him. The unsub gets off on beating the women, he's a sadist. There is also a part of him that remembers what it feels like to be beat by his mother. He gives the victims a chance that he never got. A chance to stop the pain, to give up; and when they do he kills them. In a way its like a challenge for him to see which victim lasts the longest- almost like a game."

"The game is very important to him" Hotch begins "he dumps all of the victims in alleyways that are used heavily in downtown Frederick so that the time that they "lasted" is specific. Was there evidence they were killed at the crime scene?"

JJ shakes her head "there is not enough blood at the crime scene to indicate that they were killed there. There was however dirt on the clothes and plastic under the nails and on the face of the victims."

"Dirt and plastic?" Morgan questions.

"The dirt is common place in the mountains of Adamstown, a region in Frederick 20 minutes away from downtown. The plastic though I don't understand."

JJ looked around for an explanation but everyone appears to be stumped.

It is silent until Emily sucks in a breath at the realization "he suffocates them."

JJ shakes her head "the ME says cause of death is definitely blood loss due to the slit throat."

"He doesn't kill them when he suffocates them. What is the easiest way to gain control of someone?"

"To knock them unconscious."

"Exactly. All the victims were prostitutes which means they were all walking around looking for johns. Johns don't walk down the street they drive in cars and pick the girls up. Once they get in the car they must drive and park somewhere isolated and he suffocates them with a plastic bag until they lose consciousness and not a second more so there is no brain damage."

Morgan looks unconvinced. "Why not just threaten the girls with a gun? It would control them just as effectively."

"The unsub would be driving. There is no guarantee that he would be able to control the girl for the ride to the unsubs desired location. With the girl conscious there is a chance that it could go wrong. If he doesn't have access to drugs suffocation would be the easiest route." Hotch nods at Prentiss in acknowledgement.

Reid nods in agreement "sadists also like to see their victim struggle, it gets them off."

"It's important to note that he isn't a sexual sadist."

"We can't be sure about that. The longest victim only lasted 9 days. If he beats them for 3 days, electrocutes them for 3 days, and stabs them for 3 days sexual torture could start on the 10th day."

"How does he stab the victims for 3 days without the victim bleeding out?" Garcia wonders out loud.

5 pairs of eyes turn to look at her and she becomes self conscious.

"sorry for interrupting I was just curious."

"No you're right" Rossi starts "the unsub would have to have a vast medical knowledge to ensure that the victim survives. He would also have to have medial knowledge to ensure the coratid is hit every time. "

"Are you sure you aren't a profiler Garcia?" JJ smiles at her friend.

"Good catch Garcia. You should check for all medical professionals in the area. Doctors, medical technicians, paramedics, nurses, maybe even medical students. I know the list will be long but send it to us anyway and we can narrow it down on the plane."

Garcia nods and leaves to get to work.

"I don't want an 8th victim. The last victim was found yesterday so the unsub will be on the prowl. Wheels up in 20.

* * *

As the agents arrive at the airport they are greeted by a strong, tall man in his mid 50s. He has closely cropped brown hair and piercing but friendly blue eyes.

"Hi you all must be the agents from the BAU. I'm chief Eric Richardson; the one who called you."

Hotch nods as he shakes the policeman's hand.

Introductions are made and before everyone knows it the team is loaded into a black SUV and arriving at the police station.

Every police station is the same. A hubbub of activity with talking and the sounds of phone calls a constant companion.

Within 30 minutes the team is gathered around a white board with the victims pictures on it and names, dates, and important facts written in marker.

"Everyone should be on the lookout for a white male in his late 40s to mid 50s. He is extremely organized and meticulous with a high IQ. He is also narcissistic so he will not shy away from the investigation, in fact he may try to insert himself into it. He could be a possible witness, call into the tip line, or even just present at the crime scene."

"Do you know how many white males in their 50s there are in Frederick?"

Laughs radiate from a couple officers and it takes a few seconds for officer Richardson to control his unit.

"The unsub has immense knowledge of the human body so it is possible that he is a doctor, nurse, medical technician, paramedic, or even a medical student."

"Although it is true that the abduction site is usually close to the unsubs home we believe in this case it is not. Traces of dirt were found on the victims that are common with the terrain in the Adamstown area and because of this we believe he lives there. It also fits with the fact that he would need a isolated building to carry out the torture."

"Speaking of the torture. It is a game to him. He tortures them until they ask him to stop and when they do he slits their throat. They give him a choice he never had. His mother was a prostitute with brown hair and eyes and most likely abused him."

"I don't mean to offend you but how do any of you know this is true?" A woman officer looks unconvinced at all of the information that the agents told her.

The team smiles with the question that comes at them with every profile they deliver. They each take turns with who answers the question; this time it was Emily's turn. Without needing the reminder she begins to speak.

"We are the first to admit that profiling is not an exact science. It is a lot of inference but it is not a guess. We are the very best in our field and have showed time again and again that our profiles are accurate. Rest assured, he will be caught and put to justice. Thank you all.

Officers disperse from the bullpen and start to search the town.

"Okay team. I think first we should head to the crime scenes…." Hotch is interrupted as officer Richardson walks towards them.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but I had an idea. We should set a trap."

"A trap?" Morgan questions slightly irritated that his boss was interrupted. Hotch sends him a look and he immediately backs down.

"Yes a trap. I can't help but notice Agent Prentiss's looks."

JJ scoffs as she races to protect her friend "excuse me?"

"Reword it Richardson. I know what you're going for but you have to do better than that." Rossi nudges the officer slightly.

"Oh wow yes of course" the officer stumbles in the presence of the powerful FBI agents. "What I meant to say is that Agent Prentiss has brown hair and eyes. With the makeup and wardrobe artists that are contracted to the department we could plant her as an undercover."

The team takes a few seconds to mull it over.

Reid speaks first. "Theoretically this could work very well. The unsub should be hunting for a new victim as soon as tonight. Emily holds herself in a different manner however so we would have to train her to carry herself a different way as well as give her a more rugged look as she looks polished and professional which a prostitute does not. With less articulated speech patterns Emily could pass for a prostitute fairly well. Statistically I would say the outcome is in our favor."

"I agree that it could work but is it a risk we want to take? What if something goes wrong?" Morgan moves from his spot next to JJ and gets closer to Emily protectively.

"It's a chance we should take" Rossi begins "if we can save women from possibly becoming victims."

Emily looks around at her fellow agents. Morgan and JJ look incredibly conflicted while everyone else looks like they are convinced that it could work.

"We will proceed only if you are comfortable, Emily."

The room is silent as they wait for her to make up her mind.

 _Going undercover could save countless victims, and you love going undercover._

 _As a prostitute though? That is far out of your comfort zone._

 _The victims don't have comfort zones anymore they're dead._

 _What if it goes wrong, what if he abducts you and they cant find you?_

 _The team can find me if something is wrong. I'll have the best equipment with me and i'm sure hotch will let me keep my gun on me._

 _it's okay._

 _it's okay._

 _Then why doesn't it feel okay?_

"i'll do it."

 **so thats the first chapter! i hope its okay and that you guys like it. Reviews are alwayyyyys appreciated. thank you guys so much! let me know if you want me to keep going I** **have a lot planned.**


	2. Nerves

**hey guys! thank you guys so much for reviewing! i really appreciate you guys taking the time to review. Thank y'all again! if you want anything in particular to happen in this story just lemme know and i'll see if I can make it happen :)**

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"You'll do it? You're sure about this Emily because if you aren't…." Morgans voice is filled with worry for his partner. There is a chance this could go wrong and if it did…. the alternative is too hard to think about it. If anything ever happened to Emily, Morgan would walk through hell to seek revenge.

Emily rolls her eyes and shakes off the few remaining nerves she has about going undercover. "Yes of course i'm sure. i've gone undercover multiple times and I am more than capable. All we really need is for the unsub to pick me up and attempt to suffocate me and we've got him."

"But Emily….." JJ tries to interject one more time.

"She's right. If she feels comfortable then we should do it. I want JJ and Reid to stay here with the makeup and wardrobe artists to get Emily ready. Everyone else needs to come with me to the various crime scenes and see if there is anything that was missed. We only have a few hours until nightfall so we need to work quickly. Lets go."

Without another word Hotch is striding towards the door of the police station. Each member of the team squeezes Emily on the shoulder before following Hotch out.

Morgan pauses by the door "you don't have to do this if you don't want to, Emily. I know you're capable but I have a bad feeling about this." He shoots her a small smile and continues walking out the door.

The usually loud police station is suddenly quiet. The environment is tense. Emily can hear her heart beat going a mile a minute. Blood is rushing past her ears.

"Are you ready Agent Prentiss?"

With a brisk nod Emily is led away by officer Richardson.

* * *

Downton Frederick is a bustling city with small shops littering the streets. The sun is shining and everyone is enjoying the nice weather. Everyone, except the members of the BAU.

"Hotch I don't like this." Morgan is squatted down next to the area where Elizabeth Banks body was found.

They had visited 3 crimes scenes previous to this one and had found nothing. Not one single shred of evidence against the unsub. It was infuriating.

"To tell you the truth i don't either. I don't usually send agents undercover for fear of what could happen but I am confident in her abilities. I am also confident that if anything does go wrong we can retrieve her. She will be equipped with an ear piece and a tracker so we will always know where she is. There will be multiple staged cars with agents occupying them as well."

Morgan rises from his squatted position and shakes his head. "And if something happens to the tracker? Hotch we have nothing. No leads, no witnesses, nothing. Even the tip line is dry. If he grabs her and something happens we won't be able to find her."

Morgan has a bad feeling about the mission. He can't describe it but he knows something will go wrong. He doesn't know if its because he hasn't seen Emily go undercover before or if it's because they have so little on this unsub.

"Enough. Morgan i know you don't like this but it is happening. None of us want to see Prentiss hurt and she won't be. Don't question my authority again." Hotch steps closer to Morgan and stares into his eyes daring the agent to say something.

The air is thick as the two agents stand squarely facing each other. They are so close they are practically sharing the same air space.

It isn't unusual for the two to bicker. Both have alpha male tendencies that have clashed more than once, especially when the subject is one of their own.

"If you two are done bickering I found something."

The two agents quickly back away and walk towards Rossi who is a few feet away.

In this hand is a small wooden stick with a red end.

"A match?"

"A match."

Morgan narrows his eyes "couldn't it have belonged to someone else?"

"The restaurant has a no smoking policy anywhere on the grounds, even outside. It seems most likely that the match could have fallen out of the unsubs pocket as he dropped the body. This changes everything."

A young officer steps closer to them with a confused expression "so the unsubs a smoker, i don't understand how that changes everything?"

An evidence bag is supplied to Rossi and he puts the match in carefully before taking off his gloves. Once the bag is taken away he faces the officer as well as Morgan and Hotch in a circle. "If the unsub is a smoker it indicates that he has an addictive personality. If a serial killer has an addictive personality we can infer that he kills because he has to."

"I thought you could already infer that."

"You can, but it also means that he will not stop killing until he is dead or he is caught. Before we believed that he was filling a void his mother left behind, a void that would eventually lead him to stop killing when he realized that killing did give him pleasure but did not fill the void. Now that we know he has an addictive personality we know that he is addicted to the thrill of it." Rossi rambled the facts smoothly.

Hotch picks up where he left off "It also makes him much more dangerous. An addictive sadist is the worst possible kind of sadist. It means that we have to be much more careful. He must be caught soon or he will never stop."

"We have to make sure Emily is protected. She is in more danger than we thought." Morgans' strong voice is carried through the ally and everyone nods in agreement.

Everyone wears a grim expression.

"Should we cancel the undercover mission?" Rossi leads Hotch away from Morgan and the other officer. "You know as well as I do that she can do it but it just got more dangerous. No one on this team wants to see her hurt."

Hotch takes a few minutes to think it through.

 _Emily is an excellent agent, the threat of danger is present on every assignment, not just undercover_

 _but if something happens…. Emily could be injured_

 _nothing will happen and if it does we will be there to retrieve her_

"No" Hotch's voice is stronger than he feels and it surprises him "we will talk to Emily and if she thinks we should cancel it we will but if she still feels comfortable we will continue. We have so much to gain from a successful operation."

"I agree. Just remember, we have a lot to loose as well."

Rossi's words ring true in Hotchs ear. is it worth it?

"We do it for the victims" Hotch turns back to Morgan and the other officer in the alley "lets go back to the station and discuss the new development."

* * *

Emily sits in an empty room with JJ by her side. The makeup and wardrobe artists should be here any second.

 _tick_

 _tick_

 _tick_

The clock on the wall is driving Emily crazy. As if her nerves aren't jangled enough.

Emily's knee begins to bounce as her nerves kick into overdrive. Sure she's been undercover before but as a prostitute? That's a little out of her league.

 _what if something goes wrong? What if the team loses her and he takes her back to his house and tortures her until she breaks and then he kills her?_

 _SNAP OUT OF IT EMILY. STRONG, YOU ARE STRONG._

JJ puts her hand on Emily's knee and Emily jumps. "come out of the scary place you were just in."

The pair smile at each other and JJ removes her hand from her friends knee.

"Em, if you're nervous about doing this you don't have to. no one is making you do this."

Emily jumps up and walks across the room.

"Jesus JJ i'm fine. Everyones treating me like i'm a baby it's just another case. You'd be nervous if you had to dress up like a prostitute too okay? i'm fine." Emily cringes when she hears how stern her voice is. It doesn't go unnoticed by her that she said I'm fine twice and is not sure whether she is trying to convince JJ or herself.

JJ's eyes show hurt for a split second and then her guard comes back up. "I'm sorry for wanting to make sure you're okay." JJ's tone is harsh and she brings her arms up to cross her chest.

A sigh escapes Emily's lips as she sits back down and takes the blondes hands in her own. "i'm sorry JJ. i'm just nervous thats all. but I _am_ fine. I want to do this."

The two agents make eye contact while Emily is speaking. Emily tries to convey her seriousness.

JJ opens her mouth to respond when the door opens and two middle aged women walk in.

Instantly the two women pull Emily onto her feet and surround her.

"Emily Prentiss you are just gorgeous! When we heard that they wanted us to transform a fed into a prostitute we were worried but honey this will be a piece of cake. The bastard will just eat you up!" The woman who speaks has blonde shoulder length hair and brown eyes.

Emily lets out a nervous laugh "I hope not."

The two women let out shrieks of laughter and move away from the agent.

"Oh of course not darling not literally! But how rude of us we need to introduce ourselves. My name is Celia I'm the makeup artist. My friends name is Mary and she does the costumes for the station."

Both of the women have slightly southern accents.

Celia is the one with shoulder length blonde hair and brown eyes while Mary has short brown hair and blue eyes.

"I'm….." JJ stands to introduce herself but Celia grabs onto her arm and pulls the agent toward them.

"You're agent Jennifer Jareau! Or as your friends call you JJ! I hope that I can call you JJ!"

JJ looks taken aback but recovers quickly. "Yes I am. It's very nice to meet you and yes you can call me JJ."

"It is amazing to meet you JJ! Wow you're beautiful as well, is there something in the water over there at Quantico? If so i'll take several cases!." Mary laughs at her own joke.

Emily and JJ make quick eye contact.

These women are eccentric to say the least. The agents don't have the chance to work with such out there people. Penelope was probably the closest to these women but even she didn't touch the level of loud that they are.

Both women are wearing bright colors and loose clothes that would never work had they been officers.

"Enough chit chat we have a job to do. Emily darling sit right there while we bring in our equipment and we'll begin." As Mary speaks she brings the chair that she sat it only moments ago and drags it to the middle of the room.

Emily does as she was told while Celia and Mary hustle out of the room.

"I like them" JJ says when they leave the room. With a smile on her face she sits in the chair that is situated behind Emily's.

"I do too they're….. refreshing." Emily laughs. She realizes how good it feels. With this job they're under constant pressure and it feels good to let loose every once in a while- even if its just a few minutes of laughing.

The door opens once again and Mary and Celia are hauling in bags and bags of equipment. While Celia carries in light up mirrors and multiple boxes of makeup Mary has a rack of clothing filled with bright colors and short dresses.

"Alright, who's ready to get a makeover?"

* * *

"We don't have anything on this unsub and we need to change that." Hotch sits behind the wheel with Rossi in the passenger seat and Morgan in the back seat. The other officers follow closely behind in their police cruiser.

Rossi nods "should we reinterview the families? We're relying very heavily on this undercover operation and maybe we shouldn't. If there is anything the police missed while conducting the initial investigation it could be key."

"If we don't get anything from the operation tonight then we will visit the families tomorrow."

All occupants of the car are tossed to the side as Hotch narrowly avoids another car. Though he doesn't admit it, it is a sign that he is nervous. Whenever his driving becomes erratic it is a key to how he is really feeling.

"Maybe Garcia has something new for us?" Morgan pulls out his phone and presses number 1 on speed dial. He puts the phone on speaker and sets in on the arm rest so everyone can hear her.

"Hello my lovely crime fighters, kick any ass today?" As always Garcia greets her favorite people with a quirky remark.

"Apparently not enough." Hotchs harsh remark rings throughout the car and is loud enough that Penelope picks up on it.

"Is everything okay?" She isn't a stranger to Hotchs occasional bad moods but this seems more severe. The frustration usually comes later in the case.

Silence fills their side of the line until Morgan speaks.

"Everything's fine baby girl we just don't have much on the unsub. Emily's going undercover tonight to try and lure the unsub in and everyones just a little on edge."

Garcia laughs from the other side of the line. "Emily's going under as a prostitute? That's brilliant she's going to kick some serious ass. Why is everyone worried?"

"Penelope you know there's always danger associated with going undercover but everything is fine. We called to see if you have anything for us." Rossi diffuses the situation. Throughout the course of the discussion Hotchs hands had gripped the steering wheel harder and harder with every word.

The sound of her fingers typing on her keyboard float from the other side of the phone.

"Okay my loves i cross checked all of the victims and the only connection I could find was that they're all prostitutes. They weren't friends, they didn't shop at the same stores, it doesn't even look like they knew each other. I also ran all medical professionals through the system and eliminated the ones who don't live in the Adamstown area, the list was sent to your phones a few minutes ago."

"Garcia can you narrow down that list even further by looking for men with a criminal record and men who have recently lost their mother. If that doesn't turn anything up scratch that and just look up recent prostitute deaths for women 30-40."

Another swerve of the wheel and a trail of blaring horns to follow.

"Got it, anything else?"

"No I think that's it, thanks baby girl." Morgan goes to hang up his phone but Penelope starts speaking before he can.

"Send my love to Emily okay? I know nothing is going to happen because all of you are like crime fighting super robots but just in case tell our brunette beauty that i love her. That's all, bye sexy." Garcia hangs up the phone.

Morgan laughs and puts the phone in his pocket. There was no one like Penelope Garcia. She's a little light in all this darkness.

"When we get to the station I want to take another look at the profile again. We need to make sure it is as accurate as possible" Hotch makes eye contact with Rossi and then Morgan in the mirror to convey his seriousness "there will be no mistakes on this one."

There can't be.

 **Once again thank y'all so much for reading my story! i don't know if all of the psychology is spot on but I'm trying my best lol…. anyway review please it really helps a lot :) I'm gonna try and be quick with these updates but i am going on vacation next week so i dont think I'll have a lot of time to write so make sure you follow it so you know when the next chapter is posted! thank y'all so much :) much love!**


	3. transformation

**Hello darlings! Thank you for everyone who is still reading! I want to shout out rmpcmfan and dauntlessfourever (also clever name) for their amazing reviews! Again I've been on vacation for the past week and usually update much faster than this. Also Im writing this before the whole Lauren reynolds arc takes, think after Rossi comes to join the team and before JJ leaves**

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"Darling you are FINE" Celia backs away with a used makeup brush in her hand to admire her handy work. A triumphant smile breaks out on her face after she studies the agent for a few more seconds.

When Prentiss doesn't move JJ pushes her out of the chair and toward a mirror with lights that the two women had sent up rather quickly.

Emily looks into the mirror and instantly smiles herself. "Celia you did an amazing job. Is it a bad thing that it doesn't take that much makeup until I appear to be a prostitute?" Emily's eyes are coated in silver sparkly eyeshadow with defined winged eyeliner. Her eyelashes are saturated in mascara and her lips are ruby red.

Celia laughs and claps her hands together "honey it's all in your head. You profilers should appreciate that one."

Before either agent has time to react Mary is on her feet and pulling Emily towards the rack of clothes.

"JJ sweetheart this is where I can use your help" Mary nods her head towards the clothes and the agent obediently stands. "Help me pick something out will you?"

"Of course, though I think you'd probably pick something out more suitable than I would." She looks for a minute and abruptly turns "Actually will you give me a second? I have to run and get the wires from Reid." Without another word the blonde walks quickly out of the room.

"Ah yes where is boy genius? I thought he was helping with this process?" Mary starts looking through the rack of clothing lazily.

Emily nods as she starts to go through clothing as well. "He's around here somewhere. Hotch wanted him here so he can teach me to tweak my mannerisms so they more closely match those of a prostitute. He says i'm too polished….."

"And too uptight. You hold yourself in a way that screams strong and powerful while a prostitute would not. You look good by the way Emily."

Reid stands in the doorway holding the wiring equipment with JJ close behind him.

"Thank you Reid" Emily smiles "but you aren't supposed to be in here. Mary and Celia said no boys allowed, you could give us cooties." Emily reaches out to take the equipment from his hands while smirking at him.

JJ stifles a laugh.

"Traditionally speaking cooties were thought to be a disease that a male transferred to a female of a young age" Reid begins confused "the disease however doesn't actually exist and was merely a tactic to keep young girls away from boys." Reid gets closer to Emily and starts to whisper "you know cooties don't actually exist right?"

Emily schools her face "well I do now. Thank you for clearing that up Reid."

Celia and Mary stand behind the agents ready to loose it. To their credit they hold in their laughter very well.

"While you're here sweetie why don't you pick out on outfit. We could really use a males opinion."

"Me?" Reid doesn't seem too thrilled with the idea.

Mary nods and pulls him toward the clothing rack while taking the wire and tracker out of his hands and setting them on the table. "What would you want to see a girl in?"

At least 50 dresses stare back at the genius. Every article of clothing is either brightly colored or sparkled, and everything is short.

After a few minutes of scrutinizing the eccentric wardrobe he selects one.

"This one" Reid pulls out a silver sequin dress "it'll go well with your makeup."

Mary squeals and claps her hands together "that was my choice as well. Way to go boy genius." She laughs and claps Reid on the shoulder before leading him out so that Emily can get changed.

"This one really?" Emily eyebrows shoot up to her hairline "I'll look like a damn disco ball." Emily turns to Mary but the woman's made up her mind. She turns to her friend "JJ come on help me out."

The blonde agent shakes her head "Sorry Em, that was my pick too."

Emily groans while everyone else laughs.

"Stop whining and get undressed. We have to attach the wire and the tracker before you can put on the dress." JJ holds up the wires as she speaks to prove a point.

With a final roll of her eyes Emily complies and begins to take off her clothes.

The other women busy themselves while Emily strips down into her bra and panties.

"Alright, wire me up." Emily extends her hands out and brings them back down to her body. She hates being wired. They irritate her skin and put her on edge. It's hard enough to convince yourself, and the target, you're someone you aren't while undercover it's even harder with the technology figuratively burning holes in your skin.

"Your favorite part." JJ smirks at her best friend and begins to snake the wires around her skin and secure them.

Emily laughs sarcastically. "Lucky me."

"Is going undercover fun? I feel like its just a big game of dress up but a lot more serious." Celia leans across the chair with her head resting in her open palmed hands. She looks to Emily for an answer like a curious child looks to their mother.

"It's more strenuous than it seems. You've lived your whole life as one person and all of a sudden you have to pretend you're not that person. You have to adopt a whole new persona and you can't half ass it. If the target isn't convinced your life is on the line. It's…confusing."

JJ finishes placing the wires and hands the dress to Emily.

Emily tugs the dress on and admires herself in the mirror. "Ladies, I think we're done." She nods approvingly at her reflection before turning to look at JJ seeking her confirmation.

JJ nods.

"No we're not."

Emily tilts her head in question.

"Shoes girlfriend."

* * *

"No not like that, like this."

"We're doing the same thing."

"No we're not. You need to oscillate your hips in a regular motion you're jerking them."

If this wasn't practically life or death JJ would be laughing hysterically. Celia and Mary had taken all of their equipment out of the room and promised they would come back to see Emily off.

Currently Reid was trying to teach Emily how to walk like a prostitute and it might be the best thing the blonde agent had ever seen.

"Jesus Reid we are doing the same thing!" Emily sighs frustratingly and throws her hands out in the air. They'd been at this for 20 minutes and it wasn't getting any better.

Reid looks like he's about to yell back but JJ shoots him a look and he stops. Letting out a breath he runs his fingers through his hair and tries again. "Okay lets start over. You need to relax a little bit. Loosen up your posture."

At the young doctors words Emily stretches out her shoulders and slouches the tinniest bit. When she doesn't receive praise she lets out an annoyed sigh and slouched more; if only her mother could see her now.

"Good, Emily. Now try walking towards me again. Instead of the long, firm strides that you are so accustomed to try to loosen up a little bit. Think of how a snake slithers, you need to slink across the street. You are trying to seduce him, you need to be mysterious and sexy." Reids voice is strenuous and uncomfortable as he avoids his team mates gazes. A rational part of his brain knows why Hotch chose him to do this but it doesn't help the awkward tension that has settled in the room.

A blush creeps its way up the young doctors neck until it settles in his face.

Another eye roll, that makes 7 in 20 minutes Reid counts, and Emily starts to walk again.

This time when Emily walks she knows it is correct. It isn't as hard as she believed and it was obvious she had been over thinking it. Slow, cat like movements was all it took.

"I think you've found your walk, Em." JJ looks to her friend with a smile and raised eyebrows. It was like something had taken a hold of her friend and totally transformed her previous temperament

Spencer just nods.

Noise from the bullpen rings in the empty room and at once Reid opens the door and everyone files out.

Hotch, Morgan, and Rossi walk into the bullpen and stand roughly around the whiteboard. Garcia is present on the computer screen in the middle of the room.

"Hello my beautiful bad ass friends, so I ran the search on medical professionals who live in Adamstown and also have deceased prostitute mother and you would be surprised how many that still left on the list. There have to be at least 50 names that match. I mean holy crap what are the chances? What kind of a town is this?" Gracia rambles from the computer screen. By the time she is finished she is a little out of breath and her voice is high pitched.

Before any of the profilers can answer Garcia lets out a yelp.

"Emily freaking Prentiss is that you? Get over here you brunette babe you look god enough to eat! Hot with a capital H!"

Emily had just walked out of the room and into the path of the webcam when Garcia had cat called her. A little embarrassed, but not so enough to blush, Emily walks closer to the computer.

"Garcia could you not shout so loud? Half the station is looking over here." Emily sounds uncomfortable and she moves from foot to foot, heel to heel.

Penelope grimaces "sorry baby doll I couldn't help it you just look so damn hot I….."

"Garcia do you have anything else for us?" Hotch's voice is firm and his gaze is even more so.

"No sir I dont, sorry I got a little carried away. Call me if you need me, Garcia out." The computer monitor goes back to the FBI logo and Hotch closes the screen.

Noticing how uncomftorable Pretniss looks Rossi takes off his jacket and walks to hand it to her. She takes it with a nod of thanks and slips it over her shoulders.

Emily relaxes the smallest bit when its on her shoulders, its better than standing here in the reveling outfit for the whole precinct to bullpen, though usually hot, had a chill to it. It didn't help the fact that the dress had thin straps and was practically backless.

"It's good that you're done we have some things to discuss." Hotch's frown is deeper than usual and it puts Emily on edge.

"Is something wrong?"

"Is that distress I detect in your voice, princess?" Morgan smirks at her to try and lighten the mood and is rewarded with a smile.

"You wish."

"Nothing is wrong we just have a development." Rossi pats Emily on the arm softly before continuing. "He smokes."

Emily's head whips to look Rossi in the eyes "He smokes?"

Rossi nods and Emily fights to not roll her eyes. Of course he smokes. Because a sadist isn't enough lets add an addictive personality to, why the hell not?

"This could give us an advantage. You'll be able to get into the car and if the car doesn't smell like smoke you can get out immediately." Hotch locks onto Emily eyes with his strong gaze. "You'll probably have to do a lot of car hopping tonight since we have no description."

"Lucky me." Emily lets out a sigh and her shoulders hunch slightly. She knew she was going to have to get in and out of multiple cars until she found the unsub it's just annoying.

The corner of Hotchs' mouth turn up ever so slightly. He checks his watch and all traces of a smile are gone. "It's 10:00, are you ready to get going?"

Instead of verbally answering Emily just nods her head.

Hotch nods back and everyone begins to walk out of the station.

Numerous officers throw "good luck" and "be safe" at Emily as she exits the station. A few women officers squeeze her shoulder because they understand. They understand the danger Emily is putting herself in.

The bureau had gotten Emily a small, dinky car to drive to downtown and get out of just in case the unsub saw her before she started walking the streets. It's red and low to the ground and just about everything Emily hates in the world in one little death trap of a car.

Emily opens the door and is about to get in when a hand latches onto her arm and pulls her out of the car. Emily blindly smacks the hand away as she stumbles to regain her balance and looks at who grabbed her and relaxes when she sees it is Derek.

"What the hell, Derek? I have to go…"

Before she can continue he puts a finger to her lips and slips the earpiece into her ear. "Can't leave without that, princess." He removes the finger from her lips and winks.

"Thanks." It is in that moment that Emily realizes how close they're standing together. Their bodies are flush each other.

When Derek realizes it as well he instantly backs away and his face sobers up. "Stay safe out there Emily. There will be multiple undercovers scattered around downtown so you'll be okay, just don't do anything stupid. Garcia also sends her well wishes."

Emily nods and squeezes his arm. "I'll be fine." She states before she gets into her car and drives away.

Morgan watches her drive until he can no longer see the car.

 _You better be._

 _So theres that. I've always shipped derek and emily together and I don't know if I want to push them together in this story or not, let me know your thoughts o that as well! Thank y'all so much and review :)_


	4. Jade

**For all intents and purposes we're gonna pretend that they know that emily has gone undercover before they just don't know as who and with what cause I had a vision for the part where she goes undercover and it works better if they know that she's gone under before**

* * *

Emily grips the steering wheel so hard that her knuckles turn white.

The drive to downtown Frederick isn't a long one from the station, but it's long enough for several doubts to circulate through her overactive brain.

While she DOES love going undercover (or at least that's what she tells herself) there are certain…. Side effects for those around her that she didn't like. Soon enough her team would see that side of her and probably hate her.

"Breathe, princess." Derek's voice chimes in from her ear almost as if he is sitting in the passenger seat. "We can hear your lungs screaming from here."

Despite the seriousness of the situation Emily lets out a chuckle at the other agents words. Even in the worst situations he can always pull a smile out of her.

Emily hears a horn blaring and a slew of curse words from the other side and she laughs again. "Is Hotch driving?"

This time it's Morgan who laughs. "You know it. I'd say he's particularly nervous about this case."

"Oh god, well stay safe. We all know how bad his driving can get when he's anxious. Maybe you'd be safer walking?"

Chuckling can be heard from JJ and Rossi.

Morgan and Hotch ride in one SUV tailing Emily while JJ, Rossi, and Reid ride in a separate SUV on the other side of town. As always Garcia remains at Quantico safe and sound in her office.

"You know I can hear you right?" Hotch's voice is stern and there is no trace of a smile. "This banter is healthy but we should all stay focused on the case. It would be better if we limited contact to be need based only so you can remain in character Prentiss."

Emily nods until she realizes that they can't see her. "I agree. Before we implement that though I need to warn you guys. You've never seen me undercover and I've been told that it can be…..unsettling."

Although Emily can't see it Derek frowns. What the hell does she mean by unsettling?

"Unsettling?" Rossi chimes in from the other SUV.

No answer from Emily's side of the ear piece.

"Emily what do you mean by unsettling?" JJ's voice is carefully laced with a hint of worry. Anyone outside of the team wouldn't be able to detect the worry in her words. They spend so much time together that they can all tell what each other are feeling almost instantly.

Emily sighs and the sound of her rummaging through the car can be heard. "Maybe unsettling is the wrong word for it. When I go undercover I go all the way in, I mean **all the way in.** I usually prefer no contact with outside agents but i'm assuming in this case I don't have a choice."

"No you do not" Morgan and Hotch both remark at the same time.

"Right" Emily lets out an annoyed growl as she continues to rummage around the car looking for the mystery item. "Anyway I have to ask that no one calls me Emily from this point forward. You aren't going to like who I am undercover so please try and keep the two of us separate. I put on a different skin and completely change my mannerisms, my speech, my thought pattern, everything. So just please don't hold this against me."

JJ and Reid shoot each other confused glances.

"Emily…." Morgan begins.

"No." Emilys tone is sharp and leaves no room for an argument. "I'm not Emily right now. Not anymore."

"Sorry."

Earlier they had picked out the name Jade for her undercover name. Emily had laughed at how cliche it sounded but couldn't deny that it fit her coloring well. Now Morgan was dreading having to call her it.

The rummaging sound from Emily's side of the line stops as she seemingly found whatever she was looking for. The sound of plastic tearing meets the rest of the teams ears and several of them wonder what she could be doing.

"What you're describing em….Jade would sound like dissociative identity disorder if I didn't know you. You have to be careful not to fully submerge while under or it could taint your understanding of reality." Reid's voice is serious as it rings across the ear piece.

There had been cases that Reid had studied of just that. Officers who had been under and had done so much work on their cover personality that the officer goes back and forth between personas. Elements of one life bleeding into the other.

Instead of answering the young doctor a _whooshing_ sound comes across the teams ears. Before anyone can ask Emily what it was Hotch and Morgan observe the answer.

Emily had put down the window of her car and flicked ash off of a cigarette onto the road.

The two agents watch as she brings the cigarette back into the car and takes a long drag before blowing it out of the window.

Morgan finds himself growing annoyed. With a scowl he comments "You don't smoke."

She lets out a breathy laugh so different from the one Morgan is accustomed to that he is almost take aback. "Emily doesn't, but I do." Her voice is more sultry than Emily's as she answers Morgan in a sing songy voice. It's almost as if he is talking to a completely different person.

The car suddenly swerves and Morgan doesn't have to ask to discern that Hotch doesn't feel comfortable with the present situation.

In fact it makes every member of the team uncomftorable. This person…. Jade, whoever she is isn't Emily.

A ringing phone brings Morgan out of his troubled thoughts and has him fishing through his pants for his phone. When he reads the caller ID he hastily removes his ear piece and puts the phone to his ear.

" _What the hell is going on over there? Is Emily smoking a cigarette?" Garcia's voice is high strung and filled with worry._

 _"_ _Everything's fine baby girl don't you worry. This is why Emily is so good undercover, she completely immerses herself in her new persona. Do you have anything new on the search?"_

 _Garcia sighs "nada my chocolate adonis. I'm still running all the searches but so far nothing is sticking out."_

 _"_ _That's okay there's a good chance that we'll get him tonight. Keep running everything just in case mama."_

 _"_ _You know I will, just let me know whats happing okay? I can hear everything but I can't see anything and I…"_

 _"_ _Sorry baby girl I gotta go Emily just parked and got out of the car. I'll call you if anything happens."_

And with that Derek cuts the call and lets out a sigh.

"Lets get this son of a bitch."

* * *

 _Click_

 _Clack_

 _Click_

 _Clack_

The only thing that can be heard in the street Emily is walking in is the sound of her enormous black heels on the brick ground.

The warmth that once radiated from the sun during the day had disappeared, leaving only a cool and windy night in its place.

Emily's been walking the streets for a half hour and so far she'd only had 2 men stop her and they both hadn't fit the profile. Its what she expected so far, she purposefully parked on the outskirts of downtown so she would have time to submerge further into character before getting to his more likely hunting ground.

A cigarette hangs from her lips as she continues to slink down the street in search of johns.

Her eyes flit to the side of the street and she sees the SUV with Rossi, JJ, and Reid park in the space closest to her. With a smirk she approaches the car.

JJ rolls the window down as she sees Emily, well actually no not Emily, Jade, approaching the car.

"3 at once? Well it's a challenge but i've never been afraid of a challenge." She leans farther into the window than is comfortable and winks at no one in particular with a wide grin on her face. Her voice is deep and flirty. She crosses her arms on the lip of the window and crosses her legs as she leans into the car.

Ignoring the comment, Rossi clears his throat. "How are you holding up?"

The older agents question seems to sober her up and she retracts herself from the inside of the car the smallest amount. "I'm fine. It's a little windy out here but i'll survive."

Emily leans out of the car and takes a drag from the cigarette that the other agents hadn't noticed she had in her hand. "Are there any developments?"

"No." Spencer responds carefully.

"What a shame." Emily puts a pout on her face as she takes another drag and leans into the car once again. She opens her mouth slightly and cigarette smoke wafts out until she sucks it into her nostrils. "Now go away, i'm working." With another wink and a breathy laugh she begins to walk the streets again.

JJ motions for the occupants of the car to remove their ear pieces and once they all comply she begins to speak.

"What in the hell was that?" JJ lays her hands on the dash a little too hard and instantly removes her hands.

"It's called a French inhale. Traditionally the French began to do it…"

"No not her little smoke trick her whole demeanor" JJ flicks her hand towards Emily's retreating form.

Rossi grabs JJ's shoulder and squeezes it in support. He knew it must be hard for the blonde agent to see her best friend like that. "Emily knows what she's doing, have a little faith JJ."

* * *

He watches her from across the street.

The way she dresses, the way she moves, the way she smokes makes him sick. She looks like _Her_.

Prostitutes are all the same. Disgusting little liars who only care about themselves.

There's something different about this one though. It might be the fact that she's already turned down 2, well now 3, possible johns that had called her over.

She's also more beautiful than the others. Even from the other side of the street he can tell that. She's also new to the area and he finds that incredibly intriguing.

It's unlike him to find a dirty whore like this attractive but there's something about her. There's no doubt in his mind that she will be his next conquest.

The others that he had killed should be thanking him. He gave them an option that he himself never had.

He was ending their pathetic, worthless lives without them having to do it themselves. They don't deserve to live.

Human filth like that shouldn't walk around the same streets that he does.

He begins to pull out of the parking space to pursue the brunette down the street when she suddenly stops and leans against the brick wall. She pulls out a lighter and a cigarette and lights it professionally. She wasn't a new smoker, though it hadn't caught up to her yet.

She opens her mouth and sucks it into her nose softly and he finds that he can't look away.

Angrily he slams his hands onto the steering wheel multiple times. He can't understand why she is tripping him up. He wants to torture her over and over and over again.

Another car pulls up to where she is standing and honks at her. Without hesitation she walks to the car and leans in halfway through the window. They chat for a few minutes until she steps back and the car pulls away.

A frown pulls at his lips. He can't understand it. She refuses everyone who approaches her.

When she starts to walk away he pulls out of the space and begins to follow her. He has a feeling she'll be more promising than all the rest.

* * *

"Well that was a waste." Derek rubs both of his hands over his face as they walk into the precinct. "4 hours and we've got nothing."

Naturally they all move toward the table where they work the case.

"What should we do now?" Reid flops into the nearest chair.

"Coffee, need coffee." JJ begins to walk the coffee pot when Hotch reaches out and stops her.

"We should all go back to the hotel and try to catch a few hours of sleep. I know we all want to catch him but it won't do us any good to be sleep deprived. Chances are that we already missed the unsub tonight. We'll wake up bright and early tomorrow and start fresh."

Everyone nods in agreement and begins to gather their belongings to leave. Before Emily can walk away from the table Hotch grabs her arm and pulls her to the side.

JJ shoots Morgan a glance but says nothing. The pair walk out behind Rossi and Reid.

"I just wanted to check in with you. Are you willing to go back under tomorrow?" Hotch's eyes go back and forth across the younger agents face. He doesn't want her to go back under if she doesn't want to.

Emily clears her throat. "If you need me to I will. If it's alright with all of you i'd still prefer if no one used my actual name. I realize its unorthodox but I take undercover work very seriously. I would also prefer to not go in the field tomorrow until you need me to walk to streets."

Hotch's eyebrow raises slightly. Is Emily Prentiss actually asking to not be put in the field? "Of course, whatever you need."

With a nod from Emily the pair leave the station together and climb into the SUV that the other agents had left for them.

Emily stops with her hand on the door handle and looks around quickly.

"Is something wrong?"

"No…..no i'm okay. I think i'm just tired. Lets go." Emily shakes her head and gets into the vehicle, shutting the door as quickly as possible. She can't shake the feeling that someone is watching her.

He watches from across the parking lot as she gets into the SUV with, what he's assuming to be, a fed.

Anger boils within him as he realizes that they tried to trick him. They tried to plant her as an undercover and lure him into a permanent cage.

But they FAILED.

He will still have her. He will make them pay for their lies. In his mind she is still a no good, filthy, lying whore.

A grin stretches his face as he begins to plan. He was right, she will be more promising than the rest.

 **I dont know if i'm really happy with this chapter but I wanted to get it up for you guys! Thanks for the support, reviews always help :)**


	5. Day 2

**Wow! I am blown away by all the kind words all of you had to say! I appreciate constructive criticism but I am LOVING these nice reviews! I know I only got like 5 but it makes me so fricken happy! Thank you guys so so so so so so so so so much for all your continued support. If you have any suggestions for the story I am ALL for it! I am also throwing around some ideas for different stories but i'm not sure if I should stick with this one or juggle multiple? IDK! Also I'm trying not to go to out of character with emily / jade so let me know how I'm doing?**

* * *

It's weird, to get dressed for the day in clothes that you wouldn't normally wear. Emily muses over this as she discards her pants suits to the side of her hotel closet.

The brunette sits on her shins as she sifts through her normal business clothes that lay in her go bag in the closet. She can't wear any of these today, not while she's still Jade.

A growl of annoyance leaves her lips as she rips the last article of clothing out of her go bag, she can't wear any of this. She had hoped that if she got creative she would be able to find something suitable but to no avail.

Opting for a different route, Emily stands from the ground and walks over to the large mirror to the right of the closet.

As far as hotels go the current one the team is staying in is as vanilla as the next. The bureau doesn't spring for anything too fancy so the agents make themselves home in a string of tacky bed spreads and retro carpet colors.

Emily looks at herself in the mirror and her eyes widen slightly before they adapt to the sight in front of her. She isn't used to seeing the flashy makeup upon her face so it takes her by surprise. It is still as vibrant as it was last night- Emily hadn't had the motivation to take it off before she threw herself onto the bed and fell into a restless sleep.

Remembering her task, Emily begins to remove the little signs of her personality that remain around the room. She shoves her gun and badge in her go bag and stows it as far under the bed as it'll go. Out of sight, out of mind.

Emily opens the dresser drawer to shove her phone in it when she stills. A black bibles stands out in stark contrast against the white interior of the drawer.

She'd never been an overly religious person. Elizabeth Prentiss wasn't much for religion and even if she were it wasn't like they spent much time together for Elizabeth to teach her anything.

For once in her life she thinks she might believe. Maybe there is a higher power that controls all of this. She fondly strokes the Bible with her pinky finger as if it might break if she touches it with enough force.

It would be nice if there were a Heaven and Hell. All of the scumbags that they caught would be swallowed in flames. Would she? Has she done enough good to counteract all the bad?

Emily physically shakes her head to rid herself of the thought and drops the phone into the drawer and shuts it.

These thoughts won't do her any good now. Not in the middle of a case when she doesn't have any time to ponder them seriously. Maybe she'll take a few days off when they finish this case? It's been a long time since she got any kind of break, maybe too long.

A knock on the door startles her and she catches herself jumping up from the drawer as if she's been caught doing something wrong. She instantly begins to scold herself for scaring so easily, after all she is an FBI agent. Mid thought she stops, right now she isn't an FBI agent but a prostitute. Prostitutes would be as jumpy as she had just been. A small victory smile stretches across her lips.

"Come in." Jades voice floats from the other side of the door and JJ has to fight the urge to roll her eyes and then smack Emily, Jade, whoever the hell she is across the face.

JJ juggles the objects in her hand and turns the door handle only to be met with resistance. With a tone of voice short of angry she comments "it's locked" through gritted teeth.

"Oops" the brunette remarks in a sing songy voice as she crosses the room and unlocks it. "Sorry sugar must have slipped my mind." She opens the door and lets out what can only be described as a feral purr as she takes in what the blonde has in her hands.

Quickly Emily grabs the clothes that the agent has brought her and throws them on the bed.

"You told Hotch that you didn't want to be in the field today so I figured you wouldn't want to wear your normal clothes either. I had Mary pull a few possible outfits that aren't too scandalous that you could wear around the station and not feel so out of place…"

JJ stops mid sentence when Emily begins to strip off the tank top and shorts she had on. She does it so quickly and without shame that JJ turns her head and averts her eyes out of shock. It's not that she hadn't ever seen Emily next to naked before. When the cocktails are a little too strong and its a little to hot in one of the girls apartment it isn't strange for them to wake up the next morning sprawled out in next to nothing.

Before the blonde can formulate a sentence Emily has changed into the red sun dress and white trench coat that JJ had brought her. She begins to zip up the thigh high black boots. "I appreciate you bringing these JJ. I know it must be weird for you and the rest of the team to see me like this….."

"That's an understatement" JJ blows under her breath.

Emily tilts her head and an apologetic smile graces her face.

For a second JJ sees her friend. Her eyes are bright the way Emily's are and she looks at JJ as Emily does, and then it is gone. As soon as Emily emerges she leaves again and Jade is back in her place.

When the boots are zipped up Emily stands and grabs a pack of cigarettes and a lighter and stows them into the pockets of the coat. She then zips and ties the coat and starts to walk out of the door. When JJ doesn't follow she turns around and looks over her shoulder.

"You coming? It's almost 7:30 and Hotch doesn't like it when we're late."

JJ simply rolls her eyes and follows her out of the room.

* * *

Morgan, Rossi, Spencer, and Hotch are splayed around a table in the lobby of the hotel. Each has a ginormous cup of coffee in their hand and they occasionally sip it as they go over details of the case.

The chairs are large and comfortable and Reid finds himself slipping deeper and deeper into the chair. As the conversation continues on around him Reids eyes steadily start to close.

A loud _whack_ startles him and his eyes spring open to see Morgan grinning over at him with a newspaper in his hand.

"Did you not get enough beauty sleep last night pretty boy?" Derek lifts up an eyebrow with a smirk on his face.

Hotch clears his throat and everyones attention is brought back to the case at hand.

"Today Rossi and I will…" Hotch is cut off mid sentence as the distinctive sound of heels clicking on the tile floor interrupt his train of thought. The sound is like nails on the chalkboard in the quiet lobby.

"Oh you've got to be kidding me." Morgan takes both of his hands and rubs them up and down his face. He doesn't know how much more he can take of this. He doesn't know why it bugs him so much. Obviously they're partners and he wants her to be safe. She should feel obligated to wear what she wants to wear, but damn it drives him insane to know how all the guys in the station are going to check her out.

JJ shoots Hotch an all knowing look as they approach the table. "…" JJ opens her mouth but before she can even utter a word Emily steps in.

"Sorry we're late, I couldn't find anything to wear until JJ slipped me this little number. What'd we miss?" Emily slides onto the armrest on Hotchs chair and crosses her long legs that hang off of it.

Rossi's eyebrows shoot up into his hairline and Reid chokes on the coffee he was sipping on but other than that no one says anything.

She isn't close enough to the unit chief for it to be crossing the line and for that one reason Hotch doesn't say anything. To be fair there weren't any chairs left and the boots were probably uncomftorable.

"I was just saying that Rossi, Morgan, and I will go talk to the victims families While Reid and….." The head agent awkwardly points to Emily who perches on the arm of his chair almost touching him "will stay at the station. Work on victimology and geographical profiling even though we have very little to go on. JJ will you work on writing up a statement to give to the press and relay information back to Garcia and see if she has found anything?"

Everyone nods and stands simultaneously ready to start the day.

Hotch motions for Reid to hang back.

"Keep an eye on Prentiss today. I don't know where her head is right now and I need her able to work this case."

The young genius nods and together they walk out of the hotel.

Morgan, Hotch, and Rossi climb into one SVU while JJ, Emily, and Reid walk farther down the parking lot for the other.

Again the hairs on the back of her neck raise. The same feeling that had struck her in the station parking lot courses its way through her body. It screams danger. She whips around and narrows her eyes trying to find the source of it but she fails.

Shaking her head Emily climbs into the passenger side and locks the door behind her.

* * *

4178 Conrad street is a beautiful house on a quiet little street 10 minutes outside of downtown. It's the quintessential American home. A light yellow paneled 2 story house with a black roof and a sprawling lawn. A white picket fence keeps intruders off of the street, though there is doubt that it is needed.

The neighborhood that the house resides in looks relatively low risk as far as crime is concerned. Derek finds himself wishing that he had grown up in a neighborhood like this. Maybe he wouldn't have gone through the little crime spree that he had, but then again maybe he wouldn't have ended up at the FBI.

Rossi knocks on the door and brings Derek out of his thoughts.

It takes a few minutes but the agents begin to hear movement on the other side of the door.

A blonde woman around the age of 45 opens the door. Her shoulder length hair lays easily on her shoulders. She wears a sweater that is too big for her and a pair of sweatpants. On a good day it is easy to tell that she would be extremely attractive, but it is not a good day. Her sister, Elizabeth Banks, was victim number 4.

Sophia banks examines the agents for a few seconds with a slight frown playing on her lips. "Can I help you?"

"Hi Ms. Banks" Rossi slips his badge out of his pocket and flashes it for a few seconds so she can look at his credentials. "I'm agent Rossi with the FBI and these are agents Hotchner and Morgan."

Sophia's eyes flit over to the other two agent quickly and then return to agent Rossi.

"We are very sorry for your loss and can't comprehend what you're going through. Would it be okay if we came in and asked you some questions?"

Without answering Sophia opens her door wider and beckons the agents in.

"I don't know what more I can tell you, I've told the police everything I know about Lizzie." Sophia wraps her arms around herself as she shows the agents into the living room.

Rossi looks around the room and notes that it is well lived in. The tv is on and a blanket is thrown back from the couch. A half empty bottle of some liquor sits on the table and a mess of dishes litter the empty table space. Sophia is obviously taking the loss of her sister hard.

"I'm sorry It's such a mess" she flicks her hand around the room and it is obvious that she isn't just talking about the room "Lizzie is all I really have. After our parents died I promised myself that I would always protect her. I offered her a room here but she shot me down every time. After my husband and I got divorced I've just been so lonely. I didn't know…. I didn't know that she was a prostitute otherwise I would have stopped her I swear."

She looks around at the agents and almost pleads at them to understand.

Morgan reaches out to her shoulder and pats her lightly. "We believe you. You are in no way responsible for the death of you sister." He puts a small smile on his face.

Sophia nods and wipes a stray tear that falls down her face. "Please make yourselves at home." She walks towards the couch and plops down on it heavily. The weight of the past few weeks making every movement of hers heavy.

The agents each nod their head and express their wish to remain standing.

"We hate to take up your time so we won't be long. Do any of these girls look familiar to you? Maybe friends of your sisters?" Hotch hands Sophia a folder of the other victims.

After sifting through each picture the blonde shakes her head and hands the folder back to the superior agent.

"I know they're the other victims but i've never seen them before their pictures were shown to me. I told you I didn't even know of Lizzies…..job."

"What did Elizabeth tell you she did?"

"During the day I know she's a receptionist at a law firm and I thought that was the only job that she had but I guess not…" More tears begin to leak out of the distressed woman eyes. "I just miss her so much…. She's all I had….."

Sophia begins to sob as the weight of what she's lost hits her.

Without hesitation Rossi sits down next to the sobbing woman and offers her a shoulder to cry on.

He makes eye contact with the other agents and they exchange a silent conversation. They aren't going to get much out of Sophia.

This is the fourth house they had visited today and they had received the same answers, or sometimes no answers, as the police had. re-interviewing the families hadn't gotten them anywhere.

Just 3 more families to go.

* * *

JJ smiles as she passes the officers on her way to the makeshift stage.

This is the part of the job that JJ hates. Standing in front of dozens of cameras and having to talk to the vultures otherwise known as the press. She understands its a crucial part of the job but it is not what she loves.

She loves talking to the families, connecting with them and helping them through such a difficult time. All of this goes through her head as she walks across the makeshift stage.

Cameras are rolling and snapping pictures of her before she even begins to speak. It makes her feel like an animal at the circus.

"Hello, my name is agent Jennifer Jareau and I'm the media liaison with the behavioral analysis unit. Today we're looking for a white male between the ages of 40-50. He is organized and extremely intelligent. We believe he may have a connection with the recent string of murders terrorizing Frederick Maryland. If you have any information regarding these murders please contact the number below. Thank you."

"Agent Jareau"

"Agent Jareau a question."

Dozens of journalists scream her name as she finishes her speech. All of them are shoving microphones at her and tripping over each other like ants fighting over a scrap of food. They make her skin crawl all the same.

JJ nods her head and points to one reporter.

A dark haired woman around her age steps forward. "Have you found another victim or is the count still at 7?" Her brash attitude catches JJ and little off guard.

"As far as we know the victim count is currently 7. That doesn't mean he isn't looking for his next victim. We urge every woman with brown hair and eyes who may walk the streets at night to stay conscious of the surroundings around you. It would be best not to go out at all."

"Agent Jareau."

This time a man steps forward and JJ nods at him to ask his question.

He has dark brown hair and eyes and appears to be in his mid 40s. "Agent Jareau would you care to comment on the rumor that one of the BAU's agents has gone and will continue to go undercover as a prostitute until the offender is caught?" The journalist shoves his microphone closer to her.

For a split second the shock shows on her face until she can school it back to a neutral expression. "As you know I can't comment on ongoing investigations. I cannot confirm or deny that rumor."

 _HOW DID HE KNOW THAT?_

"Next question."

"Agent Jareau does that mean that there IS an agent currently undercover?" A red headed woman in her 30s steps forward and continues the other reporters line if inquiry.

"As I already said I cannot confirm or deny that. Next question?"

* * *

"We already have a consistent victimology. All prostitutes meaning all high risk victims. Each victim was taken from downtown sometime in the middle of the night. Not one family member knew that the victims were prostitutes." Reid rambles facts as he stand in front of the white board with all of the victims pictures and information on it.

Frustration creeps into his voice as the young genius puts the marker down. The uselessness that he had begun to feel earlier in the case has taken full force and weighs him down.

"Geographically speaking there is no connection either" Reid moves over to the map that is spread on the board next to the victims pictures. "We know the unsub lives in Adamstown but it's too big of an area to canvas. The victims are chosen from the street randomly, this is useless."

Silence takes hold of the are of the bullpen.

"So pretty much we've got nothing?" Detective Richardson remarks from where he is standing against the far wall. His voice is not filled with judgement it is merely at statement.

Richardson and a few other officers mill in and out of the area trying to offer assistance whenever they can.

"Pretty much." Reid sighs and takes a seat at the round table.

Files and files are stacked on top of the table and not one of them has led them any closer to the unsub. It's incredibly frustrating.

"Another body hasn't shown up so at least that's something." Emily sits in one of the chairs with her thigh high boot clad legs crossed on top of the table. She leans back in her chair with a lit cigarette hanging out of her hand.

Several officers had tried to tell her that she couldn't smoke in the station, and all of them had been shut down successfully when she turned one of her icy gazes their way. They understand that it is necessary for her to smoke to eventually catch the unsub and that understanding keeps most of the complaints away.

"11 minutes." Reid comments not for the first time today.

Emily quirks one of her eyebrows. Until then she hadn't cared why the young doctor kept repeating the phrase but now it was getting downright annoying. "Excuse me?"

"Every time you smoke a cigarette it takes 11 minutes off of your lifespan. So far today you've shaved off 55 minutes of your life." Reid never takes his eyes off of the file that he is examining.

"What a pity." Emily regards in her low voice.

"Is that fighting I hear?" Garcia's voice rings out from the computer screen that has suddenly turned on and has been filled with their favorite technical analyst.

"We're not fighting, mother." Emily remarks in her low voice that Spencer is starting to get used to. He wishes she would start talking normally again he misses the sound of her real voice.

"Who is that?" Garcia's screen is faced away from Emily. Her voice is filled with confusion as she moves around the screen trying to find the source of the foreign voice.

Without answering Reid moves the computer screen to face what is left of his friend.

Emily is splayed over the chair and table and smiles at Garcia like a car. "It's just little old me, Pen." She chuckles and takes a drag.

"Oh okay well hi there uh…okay uh anyway.… I just wanted to let you guys know that I narrowed down all the names I could but theres still a good amount of people to weed through. Specific searches yield nothing which is the weird part. Usually I get something, literally anything but I got nada. Whoever this guy is has wiped himself from the map- I would suggest a computer genius. I sent all of you a copy of the list of names.

"If he is a computer genius it would certainly fit with the high IQ we profiled. We should add technical jobs to the list as well. If he is smarter than we anticipated then he could have easily taught himself anatomy."

The sound of typing drifts from across the computer as Penelope adds it to her search. "Hey did you guys see the press conference?"

Just as Penelope mentions the press conference JJ comes storming into the sectioned off table for the FBI agents.

"Well that was a shit show."

"Why what happened?" Reid sits up in his chair instantly while Emily remains lounging in her chair like she couldn't care less.

"Somehow Ems undercover operation got blown and the press caught wind of it. Someone in here leaked it." She looks pointedly at Richardson. "Do you know who talked to the press?"

The older detective shakes his head "no but I can find out, there will be disciplinary actions taken." He nods and leaves the area along with the other officers that were helping.

"It doesn't change anything, we just have to keep the press from scouting me out. I have a feeling that we'll catch him tonight."

* * *

 **Holy shit okay y'all I sat my ass down and I wrote this chapter for four hours straight and my brain is fried… I hope its okay! I wanted to put another chapter out there because soon my schedule gets hectic and you guys have been awesome so you deserve it! Lemme know how I did I appreciate reviews so much! Also I'm trying to make my chapters way longer with more detail so this is like almost 2 thousand words longer than usual so yeahhhhh I'm gonna keep making them longer if thats good!**


	6. Taken

**Hello my lovely readers! As always thanks for all the reviews and kind words! I hope you enjoy this chapter ! Its gonna heat upppp and have hella drama so be prepared**

* * *

Emily looks at herself in the mirror as she puts on a fresh coat of red lipstick. The motion is almost hypnotic in nature and she finds herself doing it for longer than necessary.

 _Jade_

 _Jade_

 _Jade_

 _Jade_

She repeats it over and over again in her head.

 _Jade_

 _Jade_

 _Jade_

 _Jade_

When her lips are a screaming red she forces herself to remove the lipstick from her lips and cap it. She places it on the table and rolls her neck around until she hears a crack and lets out a sigh.

Completely in character now she spins around and saunters over to the clothing rack to select her outfit.

Unlike last time she is getting ready completely alone. No makeup artists or wardrobe artists or anyone. Just her, a bucket of makeup, and an obscene amount of clothing.

She had asked for it this way. Having someone put makeup on her and pick out an outfit for her makes it seem fake. When she does it all herself it feels like she is actually Jade.

 _I am jade._

Emily takes her time eyeing each piece of clothing before she settles on one and takes it from the rack.

 _Knock knock knock_

"Emi…Jade can I come in?" JJ stands outside of the door with the wiring equipment in her hands. She hasn't even had a conversation with "Jade" and she's already annoyed. Calling her that is a pain in her ass. She can't complain though, the whole situation is probably a pain in Emily's ass.

"Come on innnnnnn." She responds in a low, sing songy voice.

JJ opens the door and shuts it quickly behind her so that non of the officers in the precinct got a good luck of the half naked agent.

Mary was able to round up a silk robe, per Emily's request, and the brunette agent wears it now half off of her frame and practically open for the whole world to see.

"Jesus cover up a little will you? Half the precinct almost got a glimpse of your bra and panties." JJ fights hard to keep the annoyance out of her voice but it finds a way to creep in regardless.

In response Emily places the dress on the table next to her and turns away from the rack of clothing to face the blonde behind her. Without uttering a word she slips the robe off of her shoulders and puts her arms in the air.

JJ rolls her eyes and refuses to move. She takes deep breaths to try and calm herself before she says anything she'll regret.

"Well?" Emily raises her eyebrow in question and lifts her arms into the air again.

"I cannot WAIT until this case is over and I have my best friend back." JJ mumbles under her breath as she steps forward and begins to snake the wiring around Emily's back.

If Emily hears her she doesn't make it known.

"Is that what you're wearing?" JJ finishes setting up the wire and nods her head towards the dress sitting on the chair.

A grin stretches across the brunettes face and she stalks back over towards the dress like a cat. She lifts it in the air and displays it so JJ can take a look.

It is a deep red color with a plunging neckline and practically no back. The sleeves are a few inches thick and don't extend past the shoulder.

"The color is pretty, you'll look great in it Em."

Before JJ realized her mistake Emily had whipped her head around to face her.

"Do NOT call me that. My name is Jade." Emily hisses through clenched teeth. She can't _wear_ the things she has to, she can't _do_ the things she has to, she can't _say_ the things she has to with that name floating around in her head.

JJ opens her mouth out of shock and closes it quickly. She takes several breaths before she opens her mouth again. The lack of sleep and the frustration over the past few days had finally caught up to her."For Christ's sake, _Emily,_ this is getting ridiculous. I know this case is important to you but you don't have to loose yourself to find the unsub. It's insane Emily and it isn't necessary. I'm tired of it and so is everyone else!" While she talks she moves her hands around erratically. Her voice is stern and oddly high pitched.

The room is silent for a few seconds.

JJ's eyes widen slightly as she readies for Emily to lash out at her. Instead an eerie sort of calm takes place over her demeanor.

"No matter how hard you think this is for you it is exponentially harder for me. Do you think I want to act like this? Dress like this? Speak to all of you like this? I hate this, me, whoever the hell this is." Emily grabs onto her hair and lets it go to prove her point.

Before JJ can respond Emily is gone and Jade is back in her place. In the blink of an eye Emily's posture has relaxed, her facial expressions have changed, and her eyes are cold.

Emily walks towards the mirror and grips the table that is in front of it with both hands. "Now go away and don't come back unless you have cigarettes with you." Her tone leaves no room for argument.

Without looking away from the mirror Emily hears JJ sigh and open the door.

"If we don't catch him tonight i'm telling hotch to pull you out….you're in too deep whether you know it or not."

The door shuts behind the blonde agent.

 _Jade_

 _Jade_

 _Jade_

 _Jade_

* * *

If Emily thought the previous night was cold then she didn't even know how to describe the weather she was enduring tonight. Whether it was the actual temperature or a strange feeling she wasn't sure.

3 hours into the night and they still had nothing. No unsub, no leads, no clues, nothing. Big fact zero.

The feeling that someone was watching her followed her several times throughout the night but every time she tried to find the source she just couldn't.

15 minutes ago Hotch had said that they were going to call it a night and none of them had talked since. It was strange, not having their constant rambling in her ear but it was also nice. Though it wasn't normal for them to cut contact for such a long period of time Emily pushed the feeling to the back of her mind and focused on finding her car.

Like yesterday, she parked on the outskirts of town and walked to the busier parts. The only drawback was having to walk all the way back to her car at the end of the night. She had lost feeling in her feet an hour ago.

 _How did actual prostitutes wear these things for such a long period of time?_

The street was surprisingly quiet and the only sounds that could be heard were her heels clacking against the brick sidewalk. Though it was around 1:00 in the morning she had expected the streets to be more crowded.

There were a few times she had come across other women walking the street. With a whistle at each other or an "ooh girl you look good" the interaction was finished.

A clattering sound startled her from the alley that she was currently walking past and Emily nearly jumped out of her skin. Her hand instinctively went to her waist only to realize that she didn't have her piece.

 _Because you aren't Emily._

Adrenaline courses through her veins as she slowly walks further and further into the alley. A small part of her brain is screaming at her to turn around. She isn't armed and anything, or anyone, could be in this alley.

It was even darker in the alley than it had been on the street and it took her eyes a few seconds to adjust.

She can just make out something moving in the far right corner when another crash sends her jumping to the left.

"Who's there?"

It felt like a stupid thing to say but what else could she say in the present situation? "Hi my name is Emily i'm walking the streets at 1 am perfectly alone and with no protection."

A step further and she saw what had been moving in the alley. A bright smile breaks across her face and she starts to laugh lightly. Not Jades laugh, but her normal Emily laugh.

A black cat stands approximately 20 feet in front of her with several trash cans knocked on their sides around it.

"Oh you poor baby." Instinctively Emily reaches down and picks the cat up. It has a blue collar on. "Are you lost you adorable little thing? That's okay me too. How about we stick together yeah?"

The cat purrs loudly and Emily scratches its head affectionately. The cat reminds her of Sergio and she longs for the comfort her own cat brings her.

"Oh you poor baby." Instinctively Emily reaches down and picks the cat up. It has a blue collar on. "Are you lost you adorable little thing? That's okay me too. How about we stick together yeah?"

"Oh thank god you found him!"

A man walks quickly towards Emily with his arms outstretched towards to cat. He has dark hair and eyes and is attractive though it is obvious he is older than her.

His eyes are warm and Emily feels there is no reason not to trust him, he's just looking for his cat.

"Oh, is he yours? He scared me half to death when he knocked over all these trash cans." Emily stretches her arms out and gives the stranger the cat. She instantly misses the warmth the cat provided.

"Yes he is, and I can't thank you enough for finding him. Temperamental little shit splits out of my apartment all of the time. You'd think I would learn to shut the door." He laughs softly as he takes the cat from Emily and strokes him fondly. His laugh is warm.

Emily wipes hair out her face and adjusts her clothing. "It was no problem. I should get going though, i'm glad you found him." Emily nods once with a small smile and walks around him.

The brunette gets 10 steps away before he starts to speak again.

"Oh my god are you okay? The back of your neck is bleeding?"

"What…..?"

Before Emily can turn around and face the stranger she feels a set of hands tugging the fabric around her butt to the side and the wire taped to her body being ripped off. He takes the wire off of her body and wraps it tightly around her throat.

"Derek…..Derek….. Hotch….JJ" She sputters out their names as she coughs and chokes against the wire.

 _Where are they? Why aren't they speaking to me? Why aren't they saving me?_

Emily gasps for air as she claws at the cord around her neck. She begins to struggle against her assailant and gets one good elbow into his ribs before he tugs on the cord harder and shoves her against the brick alleyway.

A painful shriek escapes her lips and the little air that she had in her lungs rushes out as her back connects with the wall. Painful gasps radiate through the quiet night air.

Deciding that she wasn't subdued enough, the unsub slams her against the wall again. This time her head connects with the brick and it has her knees buckling and sending her crashing to the ground.

Pitiful whimpers and forced gasps escape her lips as she tries, unsuccessfully, to breathe.

He forces a knee into her back and pushes her all the way to the ground. She falls against the dirty alley floor and her face is forced against it.

Emily flails under his weight but she is not match for him. White spots start to dance around her vision.

"Shhhhhhh Emily shhhhhh it's alright. Give in Emily it will be so much easier…. Stop fighting. Oh the fun we'll have over the next couple of days…..give in….." He whispers into her ear as he continues to pull the cord tighter.

Dread fills her system as she feels the last amount of fight in her drain at his words. She is about to be abducted and tortured. She will be beaten, shocked, stabbed, and possibly raped if she holds out long enough.

The last thing she registers before she looses consciousness is the fact that he flips her over onto her stomach.

He strokes her face softly and then smacks her.

When he is satisfied that she is unconscious he lifts her limp body off of the ground and removes the cord from around her neck as to not limit her brains access to oxygen for two long.

He clicks a device in his pocket and starts down the street with her, they will be coming soon.

"Oh Emily I have learned everything there is to know about you over the past 24 hours. Who you came from, who you are, who you work for… oh yes I am sure I know everything" he scoops her up so that he is carrying her bridal style "Your team will be in for quite a surprise, they're listening now actual. I know you aren't my usual type but I'll make it work somehow. Oh the fun we will have…"

* * *

"Emily can you send me your location real quick? It isn't transmitting for some weirdo reason and I wanna fix it as fast as possible." Garcia chimes in from her office in Quantico. She isn't exactly worried per say, but it's better to be safe than sorry.

No answer from Emily side of the line.

"Emily?" Garcia asks again. This time her voice is slightly tinged with worry.

JJ scoffs and surpasses an eye roll "Maybe she's mad at you for calling her Emily. She's been ignoring us ever since Hotch told her it was time to give up for the night."

"How long ago was that?"

Hotch looks down at his watch while he drives down the dark streets with Morgan next to him. "10, 15 minutes ago maybe. We can hear her walking she just won't answer us. We're headed back to meet her at her car now. "

Garcia lets out a hitched breath. "Huh, that's weird. I took my headset off while I went to get more coffee. Now when I try and manually reset her earpiece or try and track her wire it scatters. One moment she's on east street and the next she's on west Patrick street, opposite sides of downtown. "

"So you're saying we have no idea of Emily's location?" Rossi chimes in from the SUV containing Reid, JJ, and himself.

JJ and Reid look at each other with quick, worried glances.

"Unfortunately that's exactly what i'm saying."

Hotch begins to drive faster. "What would cause the equipment to function like this?"

"It could be just a simple malfunction but I triple checked it before I sent it from Quantico."

"Is there another option?" Reid sits impatiently in the back of the car.

Non of them are too worried, they can hear her steady breathing and even the _click clack_ of her heels against the concrete.

"Actually there is. If someone, somehow were to hack into the wire server they could bounce her position back and forth and manipulate it so that you can hear her but she can't hear you."

Morgan sits upright in his seat quickly. "Are you saying that's what happened?" His body begins to fill with dread.

Garcia shakes her head and then quickly realizes that they can't see her. "No, first of all it would be crazy hard. I mean they would have to be like a super genius, like I mean smarter than me and like a computer god. Second of all if someone hacked into the server I would get a notification…"

No sooner had she said that did she jump out of her seat. "Oh god oh no oh god oh no."

JJ whips her head over to face Rossi with wide, worried eyes. "Garcia whats wrong?"

No answer

"Garcia?"

No answer

The team can hear fingers flying frantically over her keyboard.

"PENELOPE!"

"Yes….yes i'm here i'm sorry. I tried to backlog through the communications, you know the transmissions from her ear piece and her location and triangulate them to try and ascertain…."

"Get to the point Garcia" Hotch snaps quickly.

"Right sorry. Anyway long story short I found an anomaly and followed the trail. 15 minutes ago someone planted a trojan horse in the wire and ear piece transmission. It would scramble her transmission for her location and manipulate the ear piece however he wanted without any notification appearing on my end."

"What are you saying Garcia?"

A crash is heard from the other side of the earpiece.

" _Who's there?"_ Emily's voice rings loudly against the quiet agents.

"I'm saying that we can hear her but she can't hear us and we can't track her location. I'm saying that our unsub is even smarter than we even assumed and he's got his sights on Emily. I'm saying that you need to find her…NOW."

Morgan slams his hands against the dash of the car and utters a "shit" as both Hotch and Rossi turn on the sirens in both of the SUVs.

"What in the hell are we supposed to do? We have no idea where she is we don't even know….." JJ starts speaking frantically.

"JJ sh, listen." Reid grabs onto JJ's shoulder to quiet his friend down.

Emily's, and NOT Jade's, laughter floats through the other side of the ear piece and the team lets out a collective sigh. It sounds like she's alright.

" _Oh you poor baby. Are you lost you adorable little thing? That's okay me too. How about we stick together?"_

JJ cocks her head in question and Reid mouths the word "cat."

" _Oh thank god you found him!"_ An older male voice rings out.

"Oh my god who is that?" Garcia practically shrieks from her lonely office in Quantico.

Morgan instantly tries to comfort her "It sounds like he's just the cats owner it's okay baby girl she's fine." Though he isn't sure whether he is trying to convince her or himself.

The SUV lurches dangerously to the right as Hotch takes a corner too fast.

"Does anyone have eyes on her?"

"No, we're still looking." Rossi answers.

" _Oh, is he yours? He scared me half to death when he knocked over all these trash cans."_

" _Yes he is, and I can't thank you enough for finding him. Temperamental little shit splits out of my apartment all of the time. You'd think I would learn to shut the door."_

Emily laughs. _"It was no problem. I should get going though, i'm glad you found him."_

The team relaxes as Emily's receding footsteps are heard.

"Thank god…" JJ breathes.

" _Oh my god are you okay? The back of your neck is bleeding?"_

" _What…..?"_

All of a sudden the sound of tape ripping is heard across the earpiece and Emily begins to cough.

" _Derek…..Derek….. Hotch….JJ"_

"OH MY GOD HE'S CHOKING HER." Garcia shrieks as a sob tries to break it's way through her tight voice.

"Mother fucker" Derek hisses as Hotch begins to drive even faster. "We have to find them, NOW."

"Is the signal back Garcia?"

"No, sir it isn't."

Emily gasps for air and it sounds like she is clawing at whatever is around her neck. A struggle can be heard from across the ear piece and then suddenly it sounds as if Emily is being thrown against something.

A shriek escapes her lips and painful gasps radiate through ear piece.

"Emily? Emily can you hear me?" JJ pleads from her seat in the SUV.

She is thrown against something again but this time there is a sickening crack and an even larger noise is heard and it is assumed that she has dropped to the ground.

Pitiful whimpers and forced gasps escape her lips.

" _Shhhhhhh Emily shhhhhh it's alright. Give in Emily it will be so much easier…. Stop fighting. Oh the fun we'll have over the next couple of days…..give in….."_

"He knows her name?" Morgan hisses from the seat next to Hotch.

A radiating smack is heard from Emily's side. The agent is silent.

" _Oh Emily I have learned everything there is to know about you over the past 24 hours. Who you came from, who you are, who you work for… oh yes I am sure I know everything" he scoops her up so that he is carrying her bridal style "Your team will be in for quite a surprise. I know you aren't my usual type but I'll make it work somehow. Oh the fun we will have…"_

"Oh my god." Garcia cries from her office in Quantico.

"Baby girl it's okay we'll find her but I need you to focus. Can you trace her wire now?"

JJ leans forward on the dash with her hands on top of her head.

 _This cannot be happening. no no no no no no._

Garcia hiccups trying to suck back her sobs. "ye…yes YES. It looks like she's in an alley on market street, hurry she's moving!"

Hope fills the agents as both SUVs race towards the destination. They arrive at the same time and all agents hop out of the car and run to the alley in question.

Nothing. It's empty.

Actually, no it isn't empty. A cat sits on top of a trash can with Emily's wire around it's neck as a new collar.

Derek kicks a trash can in anger and the cat goes running out of the alley.

Reid stands against the alley with his head against it.

Hotch rakes his hands through his hair as he paces around the entrance of the alley.

Rossi looks to Morgan who is still muttering jiberesh in his haze of anger.

JJ's hands are covering her mouth in shock of the events that had just transpired. She lays her hands against the brick alley and instantly pulls them back and looks at them. They are covered in blood and she knows without a doubt that it's Emily's blood.

"Hotch…"

The older agent looks up and JJ stretches her hands towards him with an open mouth and shock in her eyes.

The presence of their friends blood sends Morgan in another rage and Spencer looks like he's about to cry.

"Garcia I need a crime scene team out here stat. I'll send the jet back to Qunatico to bring you here." Without waiting for an answer he rips the ear piece out of his ear and throws it against the ground roughly.

"We need to get back to the station and find out who this bastard is."

* * *

Heavy.

Thats how her entire body feels.

Her eyes remain closed as she tries to remember what happened and where she is. After a few seconds it comes back to her as quickly as if she had been hit by a bus.

 _Oh shit._

Her eyes fly open and instantly widen as she takes in her surroundings.

She is in a barn. An empty autopsy table with arm and leg cuffs lays on the other side of the room with a big machine on the other side of it.

 _Wonderful._

A fog still resides over her brain as she tries to work through what she should do next.

 _GET OUT EMILY_

 _MOVE_

 _GO_

Her brain screams at her and her hands fumble to cooperate. A growl leaves her lips as she tries to move her hands and can't, realizing she is tied down to a chair.

A fierce pain in her head has her squinting her eyes and moaning in discomfort. She lowers her head and goes to bring it up when she sees it to her left.

A camera.

With the lens pointed right at her.

 _What the fuck?_

Before she can process the situation entirely a fresh wave of pain radiates from her head and has her groaning. She can feel blood caked down the side of her face and she wonders if she has a concussion. That would account for the gaps in memory and the searing pain from her head.

Her stomach lurches and she clenches her jaw as to not throw up. That answers her question, she definitely has a concussion.

 _Of fucking course._

* * *

The team had been at the precinct for around two hours when a cry is heard throughout the station.

Penelope Garcia comes running through the station and automatically is shown to the FBI's space.

"Baby girl" Morgan jumps out of his seat and accommodates the crying blonde into his arms. He shushes her and runs his fingers through her hair. "We'll get her back its okay. Come on take a seat."

He pulls out the chair next to him and guides her into the chair.

JJ sets a bottle of water in front of Garcia and grabs her hand when the technical analyst reaches for it.

"Tell me you all know who this sick bastard is?" Garcias voice is abnormally harsh and her choice of language surprises the agents.

When no one speaks she understands and bows her head as silent tears stream down her face.

Detective Richardson walks into the space. "Excuse me, where do you want these monitors?" The older detective points to the carefully packaged computer equipment next to him.

She points in the general direction still not looking up and several IT guys set up the equipment quickly.

"I brought some extra equipment to help find Emily…." Penelope speaks softly no longer crying.

JJ squeezes her hand. "That's great Pen. Actually we should…."

At once all of the computer screens flash red.

"What the hell?"

Before anyone can answer an image pops up on the screens.

Every agent jumps out of their seat and crams closer to the monitors that had just been set up.

Emily is tied to a chair in the middle of a screen. An autopsy table and a weird machine lay on there other side of the room.

"Son of a bitch….." Rossi exclaims from where he is viewing the screen.

Every member of the team is pale and their eyes are wide.

Reid fights flashbacks that are trying to come to light from Hankle.

"Hello Agents of the BAU!" The unsub steps into the focus and Emily's head whips up. He wears a ski mask to hide is face.

Her eyes are filled with terror.

"And hello Emily….." He walks from the back corner of the room and strokes his hand through her hair as he passes her. She automatically flinches away from his touch.

The unsub grabs the bottom of her chair and drags it forward closer to the camera. When he is satisfied he stops and sits next to her on another chair.

"Now that I have your attention I would like to go over rules. You thought you were SO SMART sending in an undercover agent…. But I followed her. YOU ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO ME. Just remember over the next couple of days this is your fault…. Not mine."

He strokes Emily's face and then slaps her without warning.

Emily clenches her jaw and turns her head back to the camera defiantly.

 _Good girl_ Morgan thinks.

"There must be one of you watching the camera at all times, and if there isn't I will know. When Emily feels she has had enough and gives in I will kill her and you will ALL watch. Got it?"

"Oh sweet Jesus" Garcia mumbles hiding her face in Dereks shirt.

"We'll begin the fun tomorrow morning. Sleep tight BAU agents….."

* * *

 **Alright so this is super long but wowowowo shit is starting! Review and let me know how I did.**


	7. Fear

**andddddddd we're back! Special shoutout for dauntlessfourever who ALWAYS reviews and they're the nicest reviews in the world! Its nice to have your story appreciated. Also side note: I've gone from shipping Derek and Emily to Hotch and Emily in the blink of an eye so idk what to do? I've already set up little scenes with Derek and Emily when I used to ship the shit out of them and I guess i'll still continue to do so? Lemme know what you guys think!**

* * *

There is only silence.

Each member of the team stares at the screen where the unsub had just left and Prentiss still remains.

Prentiss struggles against her restraints for a few minutes until it is obvious they aren't going to budge. Her movements are slower than usual.

"I think she has a concussion Hotch, look." Reid gets even closer to the camera to check for other tell tale signs.

Hotch's features get tighter as he realizes that the young agent is right. Blood coats the side of her face from where the unsub probably hit her head against the alley wall. Her movements are slow and it looks like she has to take several breaths to move even the smallest amount.

With a quick check around the room Emily is sure that the unsub has left for the night and leans in closer to the camera. She clenches her jaw as she fights the wave of nausea and dizziness. When it passes she opens her eyes and looks right into the camera.

" _I'm in a renovated barn. My watch is gone so i don't know how long i've been unconscious. I don't hear anything around me except for fucking … crickets. I think think I have a…"_

She has to stop mid sentence as her stomach threatens to empty what little contents it has in it. After a few breaths she manages to get it under control.

"… _.concussion. Other than that I think i'm okay, though I'd like to get out of this damn dress."_ On cue a breeze flows through the barn and sends her shivering.

Her voice is hoarse and her words are slightly slurred from the head wound.

" _I'm okay but i'd really appreciate if you found me soon."_ Emily tries to laugh but it comes out as more of a cough. Her hands instantly rub the angry red mark on her neck that the wire left.

Derek reaches out to the monitors fondly "Hold on, Em. We're coming for you baby." He whispers to himself and lets his hand drop.

If another member of the team hears him they don't comment on his loving words.

" _I won't make a sound, I won't scream, I won't give him what he wants."_ Emily's eyes are filled with anger and determination. _"I won't give in."_

Suddenly Emily's eyes get wide and she sits back stiffly into her chair. Her posture is rigid and she clutches the arms of the chair.

" _He's back"_ she mouths.

"EMILY." Garcia shouts at her friend as she sees the unsub come up right behind the brunette agent. Obviously she can't hear it but it beats sitting there quietly.

Without warning the unsub grabs onto her hair and yanks her backward with such force that it knocks the entire chair onto its back with Prentiss along with it.

She doesn't make a sound.

Her face twists in a grimace but other than that, nothing.

The unsub doesn't like that.

" _I know that I told you i'd wait until tomorrow but i'm just too excited to begin._ " He pulls her hair upward and brings the chair onto it's feet.

The unsub opens his palm and several pieces of Emily's hair fall in front of her face.

JJ brings her hands up to cover her face, she can't watch this. She refuses to watch her best friend being beaten by this monster. Without another word the blonde storms out of the vicinity and into the bullpen.

"I'll go." Reid stands up quickly and follows the blonde out.

No one tries to stop him. They all understand that he shouldn't have to watch Emily being tortured by an unsub- it might bring up flash backs from his own time with Hankel.

The rest of the team turns their attention back to the monitor.

The unsub walks to the back corner of the barn and pulls out a bottle of….. vodka?

"What the hell….." Rossi furrows his brows as he watches the unsub cross back over to Emily.

In a fluid motion the unsub uncaps the bottle and grips Emily's mouth with his hands.

Emily fights the best she can against her restraints but again it's no use. She looks directly into the camera and there is no way to misinterpret the look in her eyes.

 _FEAR_

The unsub forces her mouth open with his hand and plunges the bottle into her mouth. Quickly he begins to pour the alcohol directly down her throat. She coughs and sputters against the intrusive liquid but the unsub keeps pouring.

"She's going to choke on it." Garcia comments weakly and she turns into Derek's shoulder. He instantly wraps her up in his arms.

Hotch grimaces as the alcohol continues to empty into his agents throat "Garcia is there anyway you can trace this?"

"I can try sir" her muffled response comes from Morgan's shoulder "but not in here, I can't watch this."

Instead of answering Hotch lifts a laptop from the table and walks into the bullpen. When he finds Detective Richardson he shoves it into his arms. "Can you set up a small space for Garcia to try and trace the video feed?"

The older detective nods and goes to move before Hotch stops him.

"And can you find us another room to place the larger computer monitors in? I don't want anyone to see the video feed expect those who have to. A closed room would work the best."

"Of course." Richardson scurries away to do what was requested of him.

Hotch quickly moves back to the corner of the precinct where the monitors are currently set up.

On the screen the unsub continues to pour the alcohol down Prentiss's throat. She whips her head around trying to avoid the poison liquid but he has an iron grip.

Garcia takes one last look at her best friend and scurries out of the room to try and track the video.

"She can't handle that much alcohol in her body." Derek shakes his head as the unsub finally finishes pouring the bottle and throws it to the side where it breaks against the far wall "he's going to give her alcohol poisoning if he doesn't stop soon."

Rossi nods. "Why is he forcing alcohol down her throat at all? He didn't do that for the other victims, it would have shown up on the tox screen."

Emily coughs and sputters on the screen. She is doubled over as she tries to spit some of the alcohol out. It can't feel good in her already mangled throat.

"Somewhere in the back of his mind he knows that Emily isn't a legitimate prostitute, she won't be as easy to subdue as the others. He recognizes that she's a federal agent and will be harder to contain." Hotch says as monotone as possible.

To be at his best Hotch needs to distance himself from this case as much as possible. It is not one of his agents in that barn. No, this was just another case. Another case with another unsub and another victim (that he doesn't know).

" _Are you still thirsty?"_ The unsubs horrid voice brings Hotch out of his head and back to the monitors.

Emily doesn't say anything. She simply sits in the chair with her head looking straight past him.

" _Did you hear me? I said are. you. still. thirsty?"_ His voice is laced with poison and his eyes are wild as he gets closer and closer to Emily.

A loud slap echoes through the room and Emily's face is forced in the direction opposite of the camera. She slowly moves her head back to look him in the eyes.

" _Come on talk to me Em. You have such a pretty voice let me hear that beautiful voice of yours."_ He slowly reaches his hand towards her face.

Something shifts in Emily eyes, it is visible even from the cameras point of view. Pure anger fills her previously cold eyes. A thick cloud of anticipation rules over the corner of the precinct as the profilers wait for her to make a move.

She spits at him and it lands right on his face.

With an angry shout the unsub wipes his face and kicks her chair to the ground. " _I thought you were different but you're just like the rest of them! A filthy disgusting ugly low life whore!"_

The chair goes tipping over to the side and a resonating _crack_ is heard as the brunette agents head hits the tiled barn floor.

Derek's hands fly up to his head and he begins to anxiously twitch. "Come on man she can't take another blow to her head. The concussion is bad enough but mixing alcohol with it….." He doesn't have to say the rest.

A small stream of blood flows from the side of her head where Emily lays facing the camera. Her eyes are closed and she appears unconscious.

" _I'll be back soon enough. Remember, you must have one member of the team watching at all times or I will know. See you soon, agents."_ With that the unsub walks off of screen and silence ensues.

"I'm going to go check and see if Garcia got a trace on it." Derek walks away from the senior agents with his hands balled into fists.

Hotch makes a note to himself to get Derek to the gym before he punches a hole in the wall. "Dave will you stay and monitor Prentiss for a few minutes? I need to go speak with JJ and see if i can get her to release a statement to the press."

Without waiting for an answer Hotch storms out of the room and leaves Rossi alone with an unconscious Emily on the screen.

* * *

It wasn't hard to find JJ. She had gone to the last place that she had spoken to Emily.

Reid walks into the room to find the blonde agent caressing the rack of clothing that still remained. No one had come in and cleared it out yet. The makeup that Emily had applied not 5 hours earlier still sits on the table.

A frown graces her pretty features and there are a few stray tears on her face.

"JJ, what's wrong?" His voice startles the other agent and then she shoots him a look.

Reid inwardly cringes.

 _What a stupid question to ask, way to go Spencer. What's wrong? WHAT'S WRONG? How about the fact that her best friend was abducted and is currently being tortured how about that._

"Sorry JJ that was uh…" The young genius stumbles over his words. "What I meant was that it looks like you have something else on your mind... Other than the obvious."

JJ softens her face and nods. She quickly wipes her tears away and breathes deeply while looking around. "This is the last place I spoke to Emily, and even then she wasn't really Emily. I got angry with her. She told me that no matter how hard this was for us it was harder for her."

She smiles ruefully and turns away from Reid. More tears stream down her face.

"And now…." Her voice chokes up and she has to take several steadying breaths "now I don't know if I'll ever get to see her again. This is the last memory she'll have of me, yelling at her telling her she's being ridiculous. I don't know if I can….. if I can… if i can deal with this." JJ puts her hands up to her mouth to silence her small cries.

 _Jesus Jennifer pull yourself together. Emily is the one being beaten and she isn't crying._

Reid doesn't know what to say. Comforting people has never been his strong suit. In fact, sometimes he makes the situations even worse.

"JJ…" Reid loses his voice and struggles for what to say. "You know how Emily feels about you. She loves you, you're her best friend. That one moment doesn't compare to all of the other good ones."

Instead of running her fingers through all of the clothing JJ grabs onto one specific piece and clutches it as if for dear life.

"I know that….. I do... but it doesn't help." JJ shakes her head and takes another deep breath. "I'm sorry i'm just tired and I miss Henry." The blonde forces a smile on her face and wipes the last amount of tears off of her face. "Thank you for checking up on me but you didn't have to, really i'm okay."

Reid shakes his head "I didn't mind. If I'm being honest I couldn't stand to watch it anymore and it hasn't even really started yet. It brings back too many…. memories."

JJ turns around quickly and her eyes are filled with compassion. "I'm sorry Spence I didn't even think about it. It must be awful for you to watch this happen to Emily with what happened with Hankel. Are you alright?"

She steps forward quickly and analyzes his posture. His hands are in his pockets defensively and his posture is guarded.

"I'll be fine JJ, it's just hard." He clears his throat awkwardly.

JJ walks towards him and grabs Spencer's hand in her own. "If you ever need to talk to me just let me know. I don't want you going down one of your rabbit holes again." She smiles and tries to catch his eyes.

"I don't know what that means but….."

Hotch awkwardly clears his throat as he steps into the room and witnesses the tender moment between two of his agents. Though he can't be 100% sure what it is about (he tires not to listen in on others conversations) he has a pretty good idea.

"I'm sorry to interrupt."

JJ steps away from Spencer and shakes her head. "It's no problem sir. Is there something you wanted?"

"Yes, actually. First this appears to be the only room available to move the monitors in that will be closed to the other officers so we will be moving in here. Next….JJ I need you to release a statement to the press on Emily's abduction."

A feeling of dread engulfs her system. She should have figured it was coming, after all it is part of her job. It doesn't mean she has to like it.

"Of course sir." She gives him a nod and a tight smile.

"I know it's hard JJ but we need to get ahead of the press. You have an hour to gather your thoughts before it goes live."

JJ nods and begins to rush out of the room when he grabs onto her arm and stops her. She shoots him a confused look.

"There's been a new development."

Both agents narrow their eyes as they analyze his tone of voice. It is guarded and there's an underlying layer of worry.

"Hotch what's wrong?"

"The unsub isn't as…. confident with Emily as he is the others."

Reid shoots JJ a confused glance "isn't as confident?"

Hotch nods. "He had to uh" the normally calm and collected agent is flustered "he got her drunk."

"He what?" JJ sputters with wide eyes. "How much did he give her?"

"It's hard to quantify…"

JJ clenches her jaw "How much Hotch." Her tone is razor sharp.

"He poured a whole bottle down her throat but she coughed some out. She ingested anywhere from 80-90% of the bottle."

Reid shakes his head. "Given her body weight and the alcohol concentration that could be very dangerous. Especially adding the concussion as a variable….."

Without a word JJ stalks out of the room.

Silence takes over the small space as Reid tries to analyze the new information. Hotch gives him time process it.

After a few minutes the silence is deafening and Hotch finally speaks.

"How are you holding up?" Hotch's intense gaze pierces Reids and dissolves any lie he was about to tell.

"I've been fighting flashbacks all day but I'll survive. No offense but I'm not really the concern right now sir, I just want to get Emily home safe." His voice comes out harsher than intended but Hotch doesn't appear offended.

It's hard to stay civil at 4:00 in the morning.

"Why don't you go back to the hotel and get some sleep?"

"Emily isn't sleeping."

"Actually she is." Hotch says in a quiet voice as he looks to the ground. "The unsub knocked her out, he says he'll be back soon. I'm guessing he's waiting for the alcohol to really take effect before he…. starts."

Reid nods his head. "When she regains consciousness she'll be incredibly disoriented. The concussion mixing with the alcohol is a dangerous combination…and the unsub would know that." Reid straightens up and begins to speak quickly. "Hotch I don't think he is in the medical profession. If he was there's no way he would have knocked her out and added alcohol."

"You're a genius Reid. I'll get the information to Garcia and hopefully it'll narrow down our suspect list."

The older agent quickly exits the room a little happier than when he walked in, swiftly leaving the young genius alone.

* * *

Penelope sits in a grimy, dimly lit room in the very back of the precinct. Judging from the strategic placement of the shelves littering the walls it was an old closet. A big one at that, but still a closet.

Overall she is not a happy girl.

And it wasn't just because of the sad room she was put in, although that certainly didn't help.

She had nothing, nada, absolutely fricken zero on the unsub.

"Where are you, you son of a bitch" she mumbles as her fingers fly over the keyboard.

Not even the colorful pens and trinkets she has set around the laptop are improving her mood. In fact she picks one of said trinkets up and throws it across the small space.

It hits the wall and unsurprisingly doesn't break. It simply ricochets off the wall with a peppy bounce and a squeak.

A small amount of stress is released from the throw so she does it again, and again, and again until there are no trinkets left on the desk.

By the end of it she is breathing heavily with the effort to suppress her tears.

 _Her Emily, sweet brave little Emily is being put through hell. She's being force fed alcohol and beaten and and and…._

Tears start to drop from her eyes. First it's just a few, then some more, and then the floodgates open.

They drip from her eyes silently as her body shakes.

She brings her hands up to cover her eyes and she leans onto the desk.

 _I'm not cut out for this. I can hardly do this with people I don't know but with Emily? After this we all need to go on a nice long vacation with no serial killers or rapists or ANYTHING like that. Where could we go….? OH DISNEYLAND! That would be…._

A hand on her shoulder makes her jump and disrupts her train of thought.

"Jesus Derek you scared the fricken _hell_ out of me! You can't just appear out of thin fricken air in the middle of a case I'm too high strung!" Garcia moves her hands around wildly and turns to face him. Her voice is high pitched.

Guilt instantly flashes across Derek's face. "I'm sorry baby girl I didn't try to scare you. I just wanted to check up on you and see how you're doing. Have you been able to track the video feed?" He brings up his other hand and begins to rub her shoulders in a comforting manor.

The soothing, familiar voice puts the technical analyst at ease almost instantly. The tension leaves her body and she leans back against hist touch.

A small smile graces Derek's lips as he feels her body relax against his hands. He's glad that he can calm her down when she needs it, and her him.

His eyes flit to the side of the room and the pile of discarded trinkets brings a deep frown to his face. He debates whether he should ask her about it but decides against it, if she wants to talk she will.

"Sorry sweet cheeks I don't have anything. Absolutely fricken nothing man. This guy is smart, like maybe Reid level. He bounces the IP address back and forth between routers every half of a second. It goes from Virginia to Texas to California to New York in a matter of two seconds and since we know he's in Maryland they're useless. I have nothing to track, nothing to dig through, for once I'm completely useless."

The dejected tech slumps her shoulders and folds her body in on itself.

 _Maybe if I make myself small enough I'll disappear and then I won't have to deal with all of this. I could go to puppy and kitty island and pet them all day and be happy._

"You aren't useless, you're just stuck. It happens to everyone. Keep working girl I know you can do this."

They're empty words but improve her mood the slightest bit.

"How is she?" Her voice is small as if she is afraid to find out.

"Unconscious. He, uh, he knocked her out. She's sleeping at least for now."

Garcia nods and turns back to look at him. "Did he pour it all down her throat?" A small part of her knows that he did but as always she hopes for the best.

The look in her eyes tells her all she needs to know and she lets out a deep sigh. "That girl can handle her alcohol, trust me I've seen her down like a dozen tequila shots without blinking I mean she can party but a whole bottle? That's too much even for her, and trust me she's a tank."

Derek laughs softly and squeezes her shoulder again. "Oh trust me I know, drinking with her is like drinking with a 250 pound man. She bruises my ego a little every time we drink together."

It's Garcia who laughs this time and her laugh is music to his ears. That's all he wanted to do, make her laugh.

"Anything?" Hotch walks quickly into the room and instantly sobers up the atmosphere.

Derek turns to the senior agent and shakes his head while Garcia turns back to her computer and slumps once again.

"Well I might have something. Reid said it is probable that the medical knowledge the unsub has is probably self taught, meaning he is probably not in the medical field. If he is as smart as we believe then he could teach himself enough anatomy to get by. It is more likely that he has an occupation relating to technology…"

"Which should narrow down our suspect pool." The small bit of hope that Hotch had given her had light a fire in her and she began to wildly type on her computer once again. "Thank you sir, that is really helpful."

Hotch nods and begins to leave. "I would suggest you both get some sleep. Dave and I can take the first shift and wake you in a few hours."

"Not happening" Derek shakes his head wildly "He'll be back for her soon and I don't want to be asleep when she's being put through hell. I'll sleep the next time she's sleeping."

Hotch mulls it over and accepts what the agent is saying. "Garcia how about you get a few hours then? We'll need someone to watch her the next time she is sleeping if the rest of us will be following her schedule."

"Oh, sir I couldn't sleep while the rest of you are up all night waiting."

"Baby girl we're used to being up for days on end fueled on nothing but worry and coffee. We're agents, you're not. Just get a few hours and we'll wake you when she does, okay? I promise."

Garcia thinks about it for a few minute before finally shaking her head. "Okay, okay I'll sleep. But so help me GOD if you are lying to me and don't wake me up when he comes back I will unleash the wrath of every technical god on you Derek Morgan." She raises out of her chair and pokes him hard in the chest.

"Woman you know I wouldn't lie to you." He kisses her head softly and goes to leave the room with Hotch. "There are bunks down the hall, I'll wake you if anything happens."

She nods and watches the two agents leave.

* * *

As JJ walks across the platform to the microphone stand she can't help but draw parallels to the last time she had stood in the same spot.

Last time it had simply been to warn the public, to let them know that they had a serial killer in their midst. Now she had to tell them that, actually, they don't have to be worried now because instead of targeting others the unsub will be focused solely on her best friend.

 _Awesome_

The already small room seems to have gotten smaller as a steady stream of journalists continue to pile in. There had to be at least double the amount of reporters than last time.

The blonde shoots a small smile to detective Richardson who stands on the other side of the podium.

So far he hadn't figured out who had leaked the fact that an agent was undercover. It was stressful not knowing who the mole was within the population.

It would be a successful press conference if none of these reporters knew ahead of time that Emily was abducted. JJ hated when they had the jump on her.

"Good Morning, and thank you for coming in so early." The blonde cringes inwardly as she looks at her watch and realizes it's a little past 5:00 in the morning. " As you know my name is agent Jennifer Jareau and I'm the media liaison with the behavioral analysis unit. Shortly after 1:00 this morning supervisory special agent Emily Prentiss was taken hostage during an undercover operation by the man responsible for the recent murders in downtown Frederick, Maryland."

JJ pauses as Emily's FBI picture flashes across the tv screens of those who are watching.

"We believe as of now she is unharmed. Call the number on your screen if you have any knowledge of his, or her whereabouts. We ask everyone to stay alert and contact us if you have any information, thank you."

Her eyes sting as she finishes her announcement and the reality of her words set in. Her face falls for a split second before she builds her walls up again. She's on the job right now she doesn't have any room to let her emotions take hold.

A chorus of voices meet her ears as each and every reporter screams her name to try and get her attention.

"Agent Jareau a question."

"Agent Jareau do you know ANYTHING about agent Prentiss's whereabouts?"

"Agent Jareau is it FBI negligence that lead to agent Prentiss's abduction?"

"We are expending every resource possible to locate agent Prentiss and bring her home safely. There will be no more questions, thank you."

Before JJ can turn and leave the reporters squeeze even closer to the podium and continue to shove microphones and cameras into her face.

The voices all blend into one loud mass until they are unrecognizable as singular beings.

The talented liaison is stunned in front of the press for this first time in her entire career. Lights flash in her face and her body tenses. It feels as if the whole world has stopped. Her breathing comes quickly.

 _Am I having a panic attack?_

What she assumes takes minutes has only taken place over a few seconds, not long enough for the reporters to notice.

A strong hand latches onto her arm and guides her quickly off of the platform. It is a soft grip and her senses recognize who it is before she does, _Hotch._

The senior agent leads her out of the room and down the hallway. They continue to walk until he finds an empty closet and leads her into it. He shuts the door behind him softly and looks at the blonde agent, waiting.

JJ is confused until she feels a tear fall from her face. Hotch knew that she was close to a breakdown and didn't want it to be in public. She drops her head and breathes deeply. His hand remains on her arm.

After a few quiet minutes JJ regains her composure and looks up.

Hotch just looks at her with kind eyes and waits until she is finished working through whatever she needs to.

A small smile graces her lips "thank you Hotch."

Without saying anything he nods and opens the door for her to leave.

JJ didn't care what people say. Sure Hotch looks emotionless and stern but he was actually very sweet, though she would never tell him that. He would not appreciate that.

Without a word the two walk down the hallway back towards the bullpen. They turn the corner side by side when JJ collides with a heavy force.

It sends the blonde stumbling back and she struggles to regain her balance. Hotch reaches out and grabs her just before she almost ended on her ass.

JJ shoots him another smile as she rights herself.

 _Looks like I owe him another thank you_

"Sorry JJ."

The heavy force has a voice.

Rossi stands in front of the pair looking slightly unhinged. "I've been looking for you guys, everyone is in the room. He's back."

* * *

 **Sorry it took so long to update! This is my longest chapter yet so I hope its okay. Also hope I'm not going OOC too much. Review if ya want :) (they mean a lot)**


	8. fight

**So I am SO sorry it has taken me so long to update I literally feel so guilty for some reason my criminal minds muse is on the fritz (I hope THAT goes away) and life has been crazy but I promise I will never leave this story hanging! As always thank you SO MUCH for all the reviews and kind words! When I start these chapters I have NO IDEA where i'm going with them. I have no written out plan, no goal, literally no path so I hope I'm doing okay lol. Also thank you to dauntlessfourever, zhangxinna, and Thalium for your wonderful words of encouragement! I really do read the reviews and take in every word that you all write. I can't explain how much they mean to me that you all take the time to write how you feel. Also i'm gong to be jumping back and forth between Emily's point of view and the teams. You'll know when i'm in each one.**

* * *

Like 1000000000 pound weights.

That's how her eyelids feel.

Actually thats how her entire BEING feels but right now she needs to focus on her eyelids, she HAS to focus on her eyelids.

 _Open damn you_

She scolds herself mentally. If she doesn't open her eyes she can't asses the situation and get the fuck out of here.

Of course it's almost impossible to focus on anything other than the fact that the entire fucking WORLD is spinning- and she hadn't even opened her eyes yet.

 _Seriously did the unsub GLUE my eyes shut? That would be just my luck. When else would the unsub devolve to such an extreme amount? Only when he fucking had me. I mean with my luck…_

A noise from the corner of the room seems to be all it takes for her survival instincts to kick in and force her body into motion. Her eyes spring open, albeit reluctantly, and the light automatically forces them shut.

It isn't the natural morning light that one is accustomed to. It is artificial light, it is harsh and unforgiving.

 _Holy shit I am fucking drunk as a skunk…. drunk drunk drunk drunk_

 _Is the world tilted on its side or am I?_

 _This is not good….not good not good_

Emily has been drunk multiple times in her life. And by multiple, more like dozens, hundreds. From the young age of 15 to now being drunk isn't an unusual state for the agent.

That being said, she has never been THIS drunk.

As time stretches on she becomes more aware of her surroundings. The smell of sterilization products, the ropes that are around her arms and legs, and most importantly her position.

 _Okay so it's me that's tilted to the side._

She remains laying on her side on the cold tile of the renovated barn. Blood has congealed and remains stuck to the side of her forehead.

If she wasn't so inebriated she would feel the grating edge of a drain just touching her foot. The drain makes cleanup easier for him. The blood flows down it smooth as silk as it returns to the ground in which it came from. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…

 _Maybe if I lay very still he won't notice i'm here, that works right? Lay very still Emily. Very very very still. STOP BREATHING SO HEAVY. KEEP YOUR EYES CLOSED. JESUS EM, COME ON._

"I know you're awake, bitch."

The unsubs harsh voice slices through the silence of the barn.

 _fuck._

She opens her eyes slowly and this time the light doesn't feel as harsh.

"It's time to wake uppppppp." He uses a sing songy tone as if he isn't keeping her hostage and they're playing a fun game.

A loud _smack_ resonates as the blow comes down on her. It is swift and comes without warning. The palm of his hand feels razor sharp against her exposed cheek.

Her instinct is to whimper in pain. To vocalize what she feels, but she cannot. She fights the instinct tooth and nail because she will not, she cannot give into his desires.

The world spins as she tries to breathe through the pain. If she doesn't concentrate she'll surely vomit.

 _In_

 _Out_

 _In_

 _Out_

It takes longer than she would like, but eventually she is able to force down the nausea.

The unsub grips both ends of the top of the chair and jerks it upward. It is a quick motion and it has the brunette lurching sideways after the chair has been righted.

Emily opens her mouth to shriek in surprise but instantly clamps it shut.

 _Not now, not ever._

Brown strands of hair cover her eyes and she shakes her head as gently as possible until they are out of her line of sight.

A sharp pain reminds her, again, of her current condition. She must be more careful if she doesn't want any serious complication from this concussion.

Without a word the unsub brings a knife out from his pocket and strokes it gently against Emily's face. She jerks away from it as best she can in her current state.

"Do you want to give up now, Emily?" He circles around her like a predator stalking his prey. "It could be over before it even starts. You won't have to go through all the pain that I had to…. You can be free." His deep voice cracks slightly.

Emily stares straight ahead into the camera. She knows her team is worried about her and must be going out of their minds trying to find her. She knows she must be strong for them and for herself.

It would be so easy to give in before the pain really starts because she is not naive, she knows there will be pain. A lot of pain.

But giving up isn't an option. Emily had never been a quitter and she wasn't planning on starting now. So she gathers up all of her courage and steels her voice and facial expressions.

"Screw you."

* * *

A VERY slurred yet still strong " _screw you"_ from the brunette agent echoes through the small space. The concussion and alcohol concentration making it impossible for her to speak clearly.

JJ lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding. For a split second she had seen a look in her eyes. The kind of look you give when you're contemplating giving everything up. But as quickly as the look appeared it was gone and her walls were back up.

Though now it means that she will be beaten within an inch of her life instead.

 _Wonderful_

But she will be alive. They will find her and everything will go back to the way it once was. They'll be a happy little team, family, whatever they were and everything will be okay. JJ nods her head to solidify the thought.

"Good girl Emily." Derek mutters from his place next to JJ.

He grabs her hand and laces the blondes fingers within his. He squeezes it quickly to convey his support.

JJ shoots him a small smile and they both turn back to the monitors.

The unsub brings the knife high above his head and strikes down.

JJ lets out a surprised gasp and her eyes widen significantly. She said "screw you", she isn't ready to give up so why did he just….

"JJ it's okay, look." Hotch's voice urges her to focus on the screen again and the blonde agent lets out a sigh of relief.

The unsub had just cut the rope around her left wrist. Albeit in an incredibly dramatic fashion but that's all he had done.

Obviously it was a scare tactic, and it had worked on everyone wonderfully. They had all flinched as the knife plummeted towards Emily.

Everyone that is except for Emily. She remained stone cold as the knife came towards her. She hadn't even flinched as the knife grazed her skin instead of it's mark.

Small droplets of blood trickle down her wrist. Not enough to be dangerous by any extent but her arm is bleeding regardless.

" _Oops, it looks like I nicked you a little bit, sorry sweetheart._ " The unsub bends down to look at the small cut.

Fingers glide gently across the exposed skin. He looks into Emily's eyes and for a second it appears that she is not breathing.

He then looks into the camera briefly and the agents understand her change in demeanor.

The unsub looks so sad, so broken. There seems to be a touch of regret hidden in his dark eyes.

For a second Emily's expression is filled with hope. The team can almost see the thoughts working their way through her brain, can almost hear her thinking "maybe if the unsub looks into her eyes long enough and sees her fear reflected back at him then maybe he'll let me go."

Sadly, the team knows that is not the case.

Just as quickly as the tender look and touch appeared it is gone.

The unsub strikes the small cut with an exuberant amount of force with the palm of his hand.

It stings against the exposed skin and Emily has to instantly fight the urge to hiss in pain.

 _"Get up."_

In a quick movement the unsub latches onto Emily's forearm and hauls her up to her feet.

Emily is unsteady on her feet and she stumbles as she tries to get out of his grip. She sways slowly back and forth as the alcohol continues to pound through her system.

 _"Uh, uh uh. You aren't going anywhere…. Not yet anyway."_ He slowly snakes his arm around her waist and stands her up straight.

They stand stock still for a few seconds. He stares down at her with an unreadable expression.

Without warning he shoves her down to the ground in front of the camera.

A gasp escapes from Emily's tightly shut mouth as her body slams against to the ground. Her body sprawls awkwardly on the ground as she tries to get up.

 _"Emily…Emily….."_ He taunts her as he begins to walk circles around her. Occasionally he juts his foot out and gently nudges her legs. " _Get up Emily…..it's time to plaaaaay."_

"Why is he playing games with her?" Derek tries his best to keep his tone even. He cannot be getting this worked up when he hasn't even really laid a hand on her yet.

"He's devolving. We didn't factor in psychological torture but maybe we should have."

For some reason Hotch's normal monotone voice pisses Derek off more than usual. He doesn't know whether it's the lack of sleep or the stress of the whole situation but he is thoroughly annoyed.

"Yeah we didn't factor in a lot of things now did we?" His tone is harsh and unforgiving.

"Derek….." Rossi turns his head from the monitor to asses the building tensions. If it was possible intervening in this matter before a fight broke out would be the best option.

Of course it wasn't usual for the two to get into little spats. With conflicting alfa male personalities they were due to fight every once in a while.

But now….. now was definitely not the time.

"No don't _Derek_ me, Rossi" the agent points two fingers at himself and then points at every person in the room "we didn't factor in a hell of a lot of things. We didn't factor in him devolving so soon, we didn't factor in the psychological torture, and we didn't _fucking_ factor in the part where he followed his targets home and stalked them until the took them. And because of that he has Emily, and we know _exactly_ what he's going to do to her."

By the end of his speech fire is coursing through his veins and his words are laced with poison.

Hotch stares the younger agent in the eyes and refuses to look away.

He was right and every member of the team knew it. They had messed up and now Emily was suffering because of it.

Will she be able to trust them when all of this is over?

"Derek." JJ lays a hand on his tensed shoulder cautiously, it is no surprise when he tries to shake it off.

"Derek." She says again more forcefully.

This time he whips around to face her. "What JJ?" Anger is still evident in his facial expressions and he doesn't try to disguise the emotion in his tone.

"Look."

* * *

The unsub points his finger at the camera and waves.

"Do you want to say hi to your friends Emily?" A nasty smile graces his face.

He had been able to get Emily off of the ground again and they now stand totally facing the camera with his arm around her hip to keep her steady.

Emily slowly swivels her head to look at the camera. Her eyelids droop and it feels like someone is adding weight to them once again.

"Don't you want to say hi to agents Rossi, Morgan, Jareau, and Hotchner? Come on you don't have to be shy, they are your friends aren't they?"

The world spins as she tries to open her mouth and focus on the camera. She needs to talk to them, to reassure them that she will be okay but no matter how hard she tries she can't seem to get force out the words.

"Don't feel like talking right now? That's awfully rude of you Emily. You will do as I say." As he speaks he turns her flush against him.

Emily starts to fight against him but yet again it's to no avail.

"shhhhhhhhhh it's okay, don't fight me."

His voice is distorted in her ears. It sounds as if he is wearing a mask that alters voices though she knows he is not. It is just the affects of the alcohol.

Slowly the unsub brings a hand up to caress her cheek. He slaps her without warning.

The sting of the strike brings tears to her eyes and Emily blinks them back quickly.

"You still have nothing to say, huh? _Nothing_? These are your friends Emily come on!" He strikes her again.

And again

And again

Until finally she has had enough. She knows the beating will continue after she speaks to the camera but at least it will be paralyzing blows. Somehow the fact that these slaps are non- life threatening are worse. It's annoying almost, like he is toying with her.

"Okay." It is weak and slurred but it serves its purpose.

"Okay?" There's an underlying layer of delight twisted into his tone.

It makes Emily regret saying anything. Although she does want to reassure the team so maybe this isn't such a bad thing.

Instead of verbally answering Emily sloppily shakes her head and instantly regrets it as a wave of dizziness assaults her senses.

The unsub doesn't give her a chance to breathe through it. He shoves her down on her knees in front of the camera and keeps a strong hand on her shoulder.

The wind is knocked out of her lungs as she is forced to the ground and she can't help the surprised gasp that escapes her lips. His hand remains squeezing onto her shoulder in a forceful manor so that there is no allusion that she is free.

 _Why would there be? I'm trapped in your barn hell buddy I know I can't just get up and walk away dumb ass….._

Silence overtakes the barn. Seconds tick by and still Emily hasn't said anything.

The unsub grows annoyed rather quickly. He moves his hand from her shoulder to her hair and pulls back sharply. "I. Said. Speak."

Emily's eyes squint in pain and her mouth automatically opens to elicit a sound when she clamps it shut and clenches her teeth.

After another sharp tug he releases her hair and rights her head.

"L….Look away. Don't….Don't watch what he… he …. He's going to do to me." She stutters and slurs her words but she eventually pushes them out. She needs to tell them this.

She can't stop whatever is about to happen to her. It would be foolish to think that she could. But she CAN stop her team from watching her torture. Them watching would be bad for both parties.

The unsub lets out a sharp laugh yet his tone is far from joyous. "That is against the rules Emily. You aren't playing fair."

At the word _rules_ Emily's blood runs cold.

 _What the hell is he talking about?_

"R…. Rules?"

"Ah I forgot you concussions can cause memory loss.. At least one member of the team must always be watching your punishment or I will end you before you give consent. Sorry whore but you don't always get what you want."

Emily's eyes widen in realization and the world seems to freeze. They will be forced to watch all of this.

 _I will be beaten, electrocuted, stabbed….. and maybe even raped and they will all see it._

A wave of shame washes over the agent and she involuntarily bows her head down against her chest.

"S…s….stop this. Do whatever you w…want with me but leave my team out of th…this. Turn off the damn camera."

"You don't call the shots" he leans down to press his lips against his ear "I do."

Her fate is instantly so clear to her. She has no control in this situation. The team either finds her or she dies. All she can do is sit and wait and feel the pain.

 _No._

 _I'm not some helpless little girl that sits and waits for someone to rescue her. Damnit I am a strong FBI agent._

 _I'm Emily fucking Prentiss. Alright that's the alcohol but I am Emily fucking Prentiss._

 _There's a third option. I can fight like hell._

Emily snaps her head up all of a sudden. With a quick movement she takes her left hand and places it onto her closed right fist. Forcefully Emily swings her elbow backwards into the unsubs gut and is delighted when she hears a small groan.

The unsub drops his hands off of Emily instinctively and moves them to cover the attacked area.

Before the unsub can recover Emily has sprung up from her position on the ground and hastily runs towards the doors.

"YOU. BITCH." The unsub screams from his place behind her and scrambles to chase after her.

Emily had just reached the exit and begun to rattle the door when she felt a pair of hands yanking onto her hair.

In an instant her body is thrown like a rag doll back across the room. She tries to tuck and roll to alleviate the brunt of the force but in her inebriated state it doesn't go as planned. The ground is unforgiving and she can feel several bruises starting to automatically form.

Forceful hands grip her arms and pull her off of the ground once again. Only this time he does not help steady her.

A closed fist connects with Emily's jaw at full force and a sickening crack is heard. The punch sends her stumbling back against the autopsy table in the far corner. She grips the cold steel to steady herself.

With a few short breaths she launches herself off of the table and flails towards the unsub trying to land a hit.

A laugh assaults her ears at the same time the unsubs fist lands on her nose.

Blood instantly runs down her face and she drops to the floor. Instinctively she rolls onto her back and begins to curl up onto herself.

 _Don't make a sound. Don't you dare make a sound._

"Get up bitch" the unsub growls from his spot across the room. "I know you've taken more beatings than this. get. up. now."

Not wanting to see what the unsub would do if she didn't get up, Emily hesitantly rolls over to her left side.

She locks her eyes with the camera and tries her best to smile and reassure her team. It comes out more like a grimace.

With a sudden burst of energy Emily adjusts her body so she's on her knees and takes a deep breath.

Emily ignores her screaming body and gets to her feet unsteadily. She sways in place for a few seconds before finding her footing.

"Come on Emily. You have federal agent training I know you can fight me."

"This f…fight is a little on…one sided."

When Emily is sure that she can walk she advances on her opponent again. She stumbles and sways as she closes the gap.

This time she actually manages to land a blow to his abdomen. The unsub was expecting a blow to the face so the punch lower surprised him.

A newfound anger boils to the surface and the unsub capitalizes on it.

Stronger than before the unsub latches onto Emily's hair and brings her face slamming down onto his knee.

Again

And again

And again

He brings Emily's head back up to eye level and is pleased fear and pain is center stage in Emily's eyes.

"Give up" he whispers softly. His eyes are suddenly soft and filled with understanding.

"No" she shakes her head as a few tears fall down her face, though her words are slurred her voice is strong "I ca…can take it. I'm okay…. I'm okay."

Like in Colorado, Emily hopes that her words reach the team and that they understand. She is okay. She can take a few hits, it isn't her first time and it probably won't be her last.

The words shut down the unsubs momentary tender outburst and switches to an angrier approach.

He throws her body across the room and follows her as she hits the ground. Quickly and forcefully he begins to kick her.

Again

And again

And again

Until Emily can no longer feel the blows. It feels like an out of body experience. As if she has somehow detached from her body and is standing next to the scene.

The tension leaves her face as she rolls her head to the left.

Black dots start to dance around her vision and she knows soon she will be unconscious. The darkness is just out of reach and she can feel herself slipping farther and farther away into oblivion.

She welcomes it.

The last thing she sees before she slips into darkness is the lens of the camera.

* * *

"You need to eat this, and then you all need to go to sleep or so help me god I will call the tech gods and they will come crashing down on all of you."

Garcia throws several pizzas down on the conference table and puts her hands on her hips.

Members of the team are spread out around the corner of the precinct that the police had set aside for them. The only thing that still remained was the victim and evidence boards on the other side of the table.

Penelope hated to admit it but the two hour nap had done wonders for her. "I'll watch over Emily while you all sleep and when she wakes up I'll wake you up. When is the last time you all slept?"

She had a point. None of them had slept in over 24 hours.

It wasn't the longest that they had been without sleep on a case but it certainly slows down productivity for everyone.

"I'm not sleeping." Derek shakes his head from his place leaning against a filling cabinet. "No way i'm sleeping until we find her."

"Be realistic Derek, it could be days before we found her. There's less of a chance to find her if we're all sleep deprived. Everyone needs to grab a few hours before Emily wakes up again."

The senior agent can see half of the team beginning to argue and he shoots a hand up.

 _"_ That is an order. If anyone does not comply they'll be taking the first plane back to quantico. Do I make myself clear?"

Hotch stares everyone in the area down until they nod.

It takes Derek longer than anyone else, but eventually he consents as well.

"I don't have to remind any of you that we are too close on this case. We need remain in perspective. We cannot let our emotions get the best of us. If we screw up, it is Emily who suffers."

Hotch's tone is sharp and it leaves no room for an argument.

Members of the team begin to grab slices of pizza and eat them quickly. They hadn't eaten in a while either.

"Garcia can you go get Spencer and trade off with him. Let him know we're in here but will be going back to the hotel shortly to get a few hours of sleep before Emily wakes up again. Continue to try and trace the connection and wake us if you have something."

Garcia nods "yes sir." She scurries away in the direction of the young genius.

There is a loud commotion towards the beginning of the precinct but the team doesn't pay any attention to it. Loud noises constantly radiate from all corners of the building.

The team had never come across a quiet precinct.

"Everyone finish eating and then we'll all go back to the hotel together. We need to…."

"AGENT HOTCHNER! WHERE IN THE HELL IS AGENT HOTCHNER?"

The senior agents words are cut off by a demanding female voice. It was the kind of voice that meant no nonsense and instantly scared the crap out of him.

Every member of the team turns to the sound of the voice.

A woman makes her way over to their side of the precinct. She wears a black tailored pant suit and matching back heels. Her strides are long and important.

Hotch immediately jumps out of his chair and hurries to meet the woman.

Rossi tries to hide the smirk playing at his lips. This has to be one of the only times he had seen the man so flustered and the woman had only spoken 9 words.

"THERE YOU ARE."

She stalks closer to the agent and gets right into his personal space with no remorse. Her eyes are wild and she is breathing heavily.

Hotch goes to open his mouth but she instantly brings up a finger to silence him.

Seconds pass as the woman tries to gather her thoughts and control her temper.

 _Breathe, just breathe._

"When in the _HELL_ were you planning on telling me that my daughter had been abducted?"

* * *

 **So yeah, Emily's mom showed up. I've been planning on her showing up since the beginning because come on who's mom wouldn't have shown up? In the show I thought it was weird that Emily's mom wasn't featured at all throughout the whole Doyle thing but whatever I guess it isn't really pertinent to that story line**


	9. Ambassador Prentiss

**I am so so so sorry for taking so long to update I feel so fucking bad. I just started college and I have literally no free time. I PROMISE that I will never abandon this story. So now i'm going to answer some questions for you guys. Thalium- yes I did pick a pairing! Though I ship Hotch and prentiss more than Derek and prentiss I am going to do a D/P pairing because i've already put a little bit of that pairing in the story and where i'm going with the later chapters it works better if I pair derek and prentiss. I might change that pairing towards the end though in case I want to do a sequel. Zhangxinna- you know I never even thought about putting Ems dad in the story, well shit. That would be a good idea. Why I thought of Emily's mom and not her dad I have no idea… we'll see. Also the unsub keeps switching back to violent to tender because his mom abused him and so he knows what it feels like and he's conflicted, also bc emily isn't actually a prostitute so it confuses him even more. Thank you two and also littleoblivion, and dauntlessfourever for reviewing as well. Your positive feedback means the WORLD to me. Also trying to make Emily's mom more humanized in this.**

* * *

"When in the _HELL_ were you planning on telling me that my daughter had been abducted?" Elizabeth Prentiss stands fuming in front of Hotch in a perfectly tailored suit and impeccably applied makeup.

 _shit._

 _How could I have forgotten to contact Emily's mother? Way to go Aaron. How could I be so incredibly stupid?_

When Agent Hotchner doesn't answer her right away Ambassador Prentiss finds her anger growing. Her daughter had been abducted and she hadn't even been notified! They're lucky that she was in D.C for once. If she had been abroad she would have had 10+ hours on a plane to brood.

"Well?" Her tone is sharp and her eyes are narrowed to slits. She stands with her hands on her hips in an aggressive manor. To a room of profilers, anger practically drips off of her.

Hotch realizes he hasn't spoken and immediately tries to defuse the tense situation.

"Ambassador Prentiss I am very sorry…." Hotch reaches out to softly lay a hand on her arm to lead her away from the prying eyes of the rest of the team and stray onlookers.

The woman quickly shakes his hand off of her arm and folds her arm across her chest. The stance screams defiance.

"Don't tell me you're sorry" her teeth are practically bared "My assistant had to tell me that my daughter was abducted!"

It had been an awful way to find out.

 _A knock sounds at her home office door._

 _A flash of anger courses through her . She had woken up incredibly early to try and get some work done. Apparently that wasn't in the cards for her._

 _"_ _Come in." Her voice is strong and laced with a hint of anger. She doesn't look up until the guest shuts the door behind them._

 _To no surprise the person to disrupt her thought process is her assistant. Though she is a nice woman and a good assistant she tends to disrupt her at the worst times._

 _"_ _I'm so sorry to disturb you ambassador I know you're busy. It's just…." She trails off and fidgets in front of the strong ambassadors presence._

 _Elizabeth narrows her eyes. "Nancy spit it out."_

 _"_ _Right sorry. Have you watched the news this morning?"_

 _"_ _Have I….. Have I watched the news this morning? Well no Nancy I can't say that I have i've been busy with all of this." Elizabeth waves her hands around to motion to the mountain of paperwork on her desk._

 _Nancy hangs her head slightly and avoids eye contact. "Have you gotten a call from the FBI?"_

 _If possible Elizabeth narrows her eyes even further._

 _"_ _What in the hell are you talking about, Nancy? I don't have time for…"_

 _And all of a sudden she knows. It's a feeling deep in the pit of her stomach. It screams at her that something is wrong with Emily._

 _"_ _Please don't tell me it has something to do with Emily." Elizabeth breathes out the words as she brings her hands to cover her eyes._

 _She knows it has to do with Emily._

 _Nancy hangs her head even more. Without a word she walks further into the office and picks up a remote from the side table and turns the tv on._

 _The TV seems to take forever to turn on but once it has she sees a young blonde woman on screen._

 _Instantly Elizabeth recognizes Jennifer Jareau as she walks across the stage to deliver a statement._

 _Elizabeth finds her heart rate increasing as she waits for Jennifer to deliver her statement. It feels as if someone has dumped cold water on her._

 ** _"_** ** _Good Morning, and thank you for coming in so early. As you know my name is agent Jennifer Jareau and I'm the communications liaison with the behavioral analysis unit. Shortly after 1:00 this morning supervisory special agent Emily Prentiss was taken hostage during an undercover operation by the man responsible for the recent murders in downtown Frederick, Maryland."_**

 _"_ _Oh my god" Elizabeth breathes out as she stands up from her desk and crosses over to the flat screen that hangs on the other side of her home office._

 ** _I never wanted her to take that damn job_** _Elizabeth grumbles in her head._ ** _It's too dangerous. That girls's always getting herself into trouble._**

 _Emily's picture flashes across the screen and Elizabeth's heart clenches. Her only child is in the hands of some psychopath that she was hunting._

 ** _How did this happen. Why did no one tell me._**

 _Frustration bubbles to the surface and has her seeing red._

 ** _"_** ** _We believe as of now she is unharmed. Call the number on your screen if you have any information on his, or her whereabouts. We ask everyone to stay alert and contact us if you have any information, thank you."_**

 _"_ _You BELIEVE?" Her voice reaches an octave that no ones voice should reach. It sounds more like a screech than anything else._

 _"_ _I am so sorry ambassador Prentiss." Nancy shakes her head and blonde strands come untucked from her bun. "I have the address for the police station that the BAU is currently working in. I assumed that you would want to go and figure out why no one notified you."_

 _Nancy grimaces at Elizabeth and hands her the slip of paper._

 _"_ _Thank you Nancy" Elizabeth takes the slip of paper and starts to move out of the office. "Agent Hotchner has no idea what's about to hit him."_

 _"_ Ambassador Prentiss can we please talk in another room?" Hotch tries to lead her once again.

The unit chief's main concern is NOT the fact that he's about to be reamed out by a woman in front of the entire precinct, that had happened before and it will probably happen again. What really worries him is the victims board 15 feet to ambassador Prentiss's right.

No matter who the parent is it's always traumatizing to see a child's picture on the victim board.

JJ had put Emily's picture up shortly after she had been taken. It was like a punch to the gut but it helped keep everyone in line. Seeing her face on the board made it real. Her fate is in their hands.

"Why? So you can do damage control behind closed doors? No. I want an explanation as to why I was not notified of my daughters abduction. I want to talk to your superiors. I want to know why this unit is so disorganized. I want…." Her voice fails her as she whips her head around and sees Emily's picture on the board.

Rossi follows her gaze and instantly jumps out of his chair as he realizes what she is looking at. "Ma'am why don't you follow me into the break room and we can get you something to drink okay?"

Elizabeth ignores his attempts to draw her attention away from the board. She rushes to the white board and stands directly in front of Emily's picture.

"Oh" she gasps as she reaches her hand up to the board and strokes the picture of her daughter.

 _I know I haven't been the best mother. I've been distant literally and figuratively but I promise I'll be better. I promise we'll do this right the second time around._

When her eyes leave Emily's picture everything else on the board sinks in. 7 other victims before he had taken Emily. All are dark featured and dressed in scantily clad outfits.

 _Why are they dressed like prostitutes? Oh god no…_

A hand on her arm startles her.

"Ambassador Prentiss do you remember me? My name is Jennifer. Can you please come with me and we can get you a coffee or some water and talk about what has happened?"

Elizabeths first instinct is to snap at the agent. The blonde speaks to her as if she is a child who needs to be coddled. She isn't weak, she isn't like all of the other victims parents.

 _Only I am_

The snappy comment gets stuck in her throat. "Very well. I guess I could do with some coffee."

A light smile brightens the blonde agents face. Without removing her hand she begins to lead Elizabeth to the break room.

Footsteps can be heard coming towards the group.

"Emily is still unconscious and will most likely…."

"Reid…"

"be out for the majority of the day due to her level of inebriation"

"Reid!"

"and the severe concussion. I think we should…"

"REID."

"WHAT?"

The young genius finally looks up from the paper he had been scanning. Confusion clouds his features until he lays eyes on ambassador Prentiss and he instantly starts to sputter.

"Oh ambassador Prentiss I uh I didn't see you there uh….."

Derek grits his teeth and fights the urge to roll his eyes. For someone with such a high IQ he could barley get a full sentence out. This back and forth isn't getting them any closer to finding Emily.

Emily needs to be their focus. Not how her mother is doing. Elizabeth has hardly been involved in Emily's life to begin with and now all of a sudden she wants to play mom?

"How….. how do you know that she's unconscious? What do you mean by inebriated? She has a concussion? What is going on with my daughter?!" Slowly her voice starts to become stone cold.

No one answers. Every agent seems to be caught in a panic. Sure they've had to deal with parents of victims before, in fact they do it all the time. That being said this is a whole new level.

Each agent's eyes dart to their coworkers to try and find a way out of this mess.

Elizabeth huffs out a sigh of frustration. Instead of waiting for the agents to answer her she pushes past the young genius and follows the route Spencer had just come from.

"Ambassador Prentiss…!"

The woman ignores Hotch's attempt to draw her attention and rushes forward. The dimly lit corridor yields two options. Straight ahead is a single door and to the left is an adjacent hallway.

Without asking she turns the door handle in front of her and steps into the room. She can hear the agents behind her scurrying to keep her from seeing what is behind the door.

"Ambassador Prentiss you don't want to go in there!" JJ is the closest to the older woman and she tries one final time to get her to stop.

Unsurprisingly the ambassador ignores her and enters the room hurriedly.

A few large screens are the focus of the room. A blonde woman in eccentric colored clothing stands inches from them, captivated by whatever is on the screen.

Without warning Elizabeth steps up next to Penelope and locks her eyes on the screens.

On the screens a woman with dark hair lays on the floor facing the camera. Her eyes are closed but Elizabeth would recognize her anywhere.

Blood is congealed on the side of her daughters face and under her nose. The flimsy dress that she wears is tattered and bloody.

"Ambassador Prentiss you can't be in here!" Garcia gasps as she registers who it is standing beside her. It had taken her a few seconds to put the pieces together of who the strange woman was.

Garcia brings her hand up to start to move the ambassador when JJ rips open the door with Hotch right behind her.

Instead of asking the older woman to leave the room JJ latches onto her arm and pulls her towards the door. Surprisingly Elizabeth doesn't protest and JJ removes her from the room quickly.

Garcia breathes a sigh of relief when she is left alone in the room once again. It isn't that she likes to be the only one watching Emily, but in some way she feels better when it is just her. Emily wouldn't want everyone to ogle her all hours of the day.

With a resigned sigh Penelope drags a chair from across the room and settles in to watch over the unconscious brunette agent.

* * *

 _Clink_

 _Clink_

 _Clink_

 _Clink_

Elizabeth Prentiss swirls the spoon in the hot cup of coffee. It hits the side of the ceramic cup with every rotation and she finds the clinking sound calms her nerves.

It has the opposite affect on the agents that are sprawled around the tiny kitchen. Each stands with muscles contracting further and with each _clink_ of the spoon.

No one had spoken for over 15 minutes and the silence was deafening.

Hotch sits across from Elizabeth and waits for the older woman to gather her thoughts. He can't even imagine what she must be going through. The thought of possibly loosing Jack….. it's too much to even think about.

With a shake of his head the agent clears the thought from his head.

"Do you have any idea where she is?"

The ambassador speaks so quietly that the senior agent almost missed it.

"We have a vague idea of the area….."

Elizabeth snaps her eyes up from the coffee and locks eyes with Hotch. "Then why are you all sitting here and watching her like she's a damn TV program. Go search for her!"

A frustrated sigh leaves Derek's lips before he can stop it.

Brown eyes dart to the agent and Derek can feel the poison leaching from her dark orbs.

"Do you have something to say agent?" There is a warning laced in her words and the worried mother look is gone, replaced with a protective mother glare.

"Yes actually I do. If you think that we like to watch Emily instead of actually finding her then you're out of your damn mind. The area that Emily could be in is hundreds of isolated miles. We have uniforms searching the places they can. You don't get to walk in here and tell us what we're doing wrong. You don't get to just show up in Emily's life when you want to. Being a mother isn't a part time job."

"Derek!" Hotch jumps out of his seat and forces the younger man his monologue the young agent had inched closer and closer to the ambassador.

Unsurprisingly the ambassador hadn't backed down. In fact she slowly rises to him as he got closer to her. She now stands next to her once occupied chair, coffee forgotten.

"Don't forget your place, Agent Morgan. I appreciate that you care so much for my daughter but don't cross a line that you aren't prepared to." A sneer crosses the older woman face. It taunts Derek to fight her.

Rossi, JJ, and Reid stand in the background with raised eyebrows and slightly parted mouths. Rossi has the most composure while JJ has the least.

All of a sudden JJ snaps out of her daze and, like a machine, steps back into her media liaison role. Solving interpersonal conflict is what she does best.

The blonde steps forward and lightly lays her hands on both the ambassador and Derek. "We all want to find Emily and fighting won't do anything to help her. Let's all take a deep breath and focus at the problem at hand.

Smooth as silk the blondes words roll over all parties and calm them instantly.

JJ can feel the knots of tension unraveling from both Derek and the Ambassador and before long Derek is back leaning against the kitchen counters and Elizabeth is sitting in her chair.

Hotch shoots JJ an appreciative glance.

"What has he been doing to her?" The mother bear has receded and the worried persona is back on the forefront.

The team shoots each other a look until the silent conversation has reached all members. Rossi steps forward and takes a seat on the other side of her, turning her attention away from everyone else.

Each time they had all interacted with the ambassador she seems to do best with Rossi. He has a calming and reassuring nature that rivals JJ's.

"So far he seems to be sticking to pattern with the other victims. He has physically assaulted her but that is all."

Elizabeths breath hitches slightly "so far? What else did he do to the other victims?"

No one speaks.

"Will one of you grow up and tell me? I need to know what is going to happen to her if she is not found soon. I'm not a regular mother i'm an ambassador for gods sake." Elizabeth snaps at all the agents in the room. She needs to know what is ahead of her.

"It looks like he does everything in cycles of three. He physically assaults them for three days, electrocutes him for three days, and he stabs them for three days." Reid rushes the sentence out and dodges glares from the rest of the team. Someone had to tell her and it looked like none of them were going to. Why try and cover up what she will find out anyway?

The air leaves the Ambassadors lungs but she doesn't show it. "What happens after that?" She turns around to look the young doctor in the eye.

Reid tenses slightly and it tells her what she needs to know. Something bad.

"We aren't sure."

"But you have an idea."

"No, not really."

"But you have an inkling?"

"We have no proof."

"Proof doesn't always matter."

"In this case it does."

Elizabeth and Reid spar back and forth with their words until she realizes that he wont tell her. That none of them will tell her what may or may not happen to her daughter after the ninth day.

"Fine. Why did you say she is inebriated?"

With the same business like tone he had used before, Reid continues. "He force fed her alcohol."

"How much?"

"It is hard to quantify. He tried to give her the whole bottle but you know Emily, she's a fighter."

"Why is he doing this?"

"We believe his mother was a dark featured prostitute who probably abused him. He is unleashing his anger on these surrogates. He is also giving them a way out."

It feels as if a bucket of ice water has been dumped over Elizabeth. "A way out?"

"When they feel they have had enough they tell him and ends their life."

"Do you believe Emily will give up?"

"No I do not. Emily is the strongest person I know."

"Why are there cameras?"

"He is playing with us. One of us must be watching at all times or Emily will pay."

"Thank you for your honesty Dr. Reid."

Elizabeth rapid fires questions at him until she can think of no more. All of the information she had just learned is soaking in. She turns back to the table and begins to stir her coffee again.

 _Clink_

 _Clink_

 _Clink_

 _Clink_

 _"_ I am upset obviously, but I am not the one you need to worry about."

"Ma'am?" Hotch questions gently as he locks eyes with her. "Who do we need to worry about?"

Elizabeth tilts her head as she looks at agent Hotchner. "Emily's Father."

Before anyone can question the ambassador further Penelope runs into the kitchen. "She's waking up."

Everyone instantly starts to rush out of the room until Hotch stops Derek and Elizabeth.

"Morgan stay here with Ambassador Prentiss. You can answer any other questions she has."

Without waiting for a response Hotch follows the rest of the agents out of the door towards the room.

* * *

 _She is running. Every time her foot hits the floor a loud slap echoes in the dark hallway._

 _She runs as fast as she can. The air flows through her hair and sends it flying behind her._

 _There is a light at the end of the hallway that seems to get farther and farther away from her. Each step closer is a step back._

 ** _Come on Emily come on run faster run faster_**

 _Her arms are tied behind her back and her feet are bare but it doesn't deter her. The scraps of red fabric that remain on her body threaten to fall apart all together._

 _"_ _Emilyyyyyyy." His voice taunts her and pushes her to run faster._

 _Emily's eyes dart around trying to find the source of the voice but she cannot. It seems to resonate from the air itself._

 _The dark hallway seems to get smaller and smaller as it slowly suffocates her._

 _A laugh echoes out from somewhere behind her and Emily turns her head to see who it is. The darkness plays with her mind and she isn't sure if she can see him or not._

 _"_ _SHIT!"_

 _Emily falls to the ground hard. She lets out a moan of pain as she slowly makes her way to a seated position._

 _A wet substance on her hands causes her to look down. "What the hell?" Emily brings her hands closer to her face and lets out a gasp._

 _Blood._

 _Her hands are covered in blood._

 _In fact her whole body is covered in blood._

 _Emily looks around her immediate space to see where the blood is coming from. When she cant figure it out her heart starts to beat faster. Something doesn't feel right._

 **What did I trip on?**

 _Slowly, Emily turns around._

 _A strangled scream leaves her throat as she lays eyes on what caused her to stumble._

 _Olivia Browns body lay in a tangled heap on the ground, covered in blood. Slowly she starts to move into a seated position._

 _It isn't until Olivia brings her chin off of her chest and towards the sky when Emily sees the ugly red mark across her neck. Blood pours out of the wound as if it was freshly slashed._

 _Emily stifles a scream as she locks eyes with the previously dead girl._

 _"_ _Emily."_

 _Olivia's voice is hauntingly raw from the misuse._

 _Slowly Emily starts to back away from the horror in front of her. Steady footsteps bring her farther and farther away from the young womans body. Emily continues to carefully step backwards without taking her eyes off of the girl._

 _Without warning Emily collides with a firm surface behind her._

 _Every nerve in her body fires with fear. Subconsciously she knows what is right behind her, or at least has an idea but she can't force herself to turn around._

 _"_ _you're next." A female voice whispers in her ear._

 _The hairs on the back of Emily's neck stand straight up._

 _Slowly the brunette agent turns around._

 _A scream punctures the dealing silence of the hallway as Emily locks eyes with Madison Grace, his second victim._

 _Emily takes off running._

 _The light at the hallway has dimmed but it is still there. The light is all she can focus on. All she wants to focus on._

 _Hands grab at her from all directions as the faces of all of his victims. Olivia Brown, Madison Grace, Kate Rollins, Elizabeth Banks, Amanda Rogers, Eva Mitchel, Angela Phillips. All have identical slash marks scaring their skin._

 _There is blood._

 _So much blood._

 _"_ _you're next." Is chanted over and over and over and over again._

 _Emily can no longer take it. She stops running and sags against the closest wall._

 ** _This wall feels different._**

 _Emily swivels her head to look at the wall. Her face scrunches in confusion as she sees her face reflected back at her._

 _A scream tares through her throat as she looks at her reflection. Blood gushes out of the slash on her throat. It coats her entire body until it is all she can see._

 _"_ _you're next."_

* * *

A scream rips through her throat as her eyes spring open.

Her heart is beating a mile a minute

The first thing she registers is the pain. White hot pain assaults her every time she opens her eyes.

Emily takes deep breaths to try and pass the pain. After several minutes it's clear that there is no compartmentalizing away the pain her head is causing her.

The second thing she registers is that she's still drunk. Still very very very drunk. That tends to happen when some psycho dumps a bottle of alcohol down your throat.

 _Come on Emily get up. Get the FUCK up._

Slowly Emily rolls herself into a seated position and almost passes out from the pain. Her ribs scream at her in protest and her head pounds aggressively against her skull.

All of a sudden her stomach lurches and she throws up quickly. She tries to angle it as far away from herself as possible.

As much as Emily hates throwing up she is also relieved. The more she throws up the more alcohol that leaves her system. Gently, Emily heaves her stomach to continue throwing up.

When she is finished she raises her head and makes eye contact with the camera.

"Don't worry about me, I I I'm okay. I am still veryyyy drunk and I don't know how much tttttime has passed but I am okay. Can you guys p p please find me faster? I know you're probabl working as hard as you can and driving yourself crazzzzy but I'm okay.

"Do you really think they're working as hard as they can?"

The unsub moves from his perched position in the doorway towards Emily the middle of the floor.

Emily jumps slightly and instantly scolds herself for reacting to him in that way.

"Do you, Emily?"

"Do I what?" She spits out as she turns around to face him, still seated on the ground. She fights another wave of nausea and grits her teeth. Her eyes are narrowed into slits.

"Do you really think they're working as hard as they can to find you?"

The question throws Emily off of her game. "Of course I thinkkk they're working as hard as as as they can. They're myyy team, I trust them wit verything I have."

"You aren't curious as to why it has taken them so long to find you? I know that you guys have solved cases in much shorter times than this."

Seeds of doubt plant themselves in Emily's brain. Can she blame it strictly on the alcohol?

"How long has it been?" Emily stares at a random point on the floor and tries to block out what may or may not be about to happen to her.

The unsub laughs and sits on the ground next to Emily confusing her. "That doesn't matter Emily. What matters is that they haven't come to get you yet." Without saying anything the unsub places a bottle of water and a sandwich in front of Emily.

"You need to keep up your strength. We have a lot to do in the next few days."

The unsub gets to his feet and begins to walk out. He stops by the door and turns around. "Where is your team Emily? Do they care about you at all?"

After he leaves Emily continues to stare at the point on the opposite wall.

 _Is he right? Where are they? It is true that we've solved cases in short amounts of time. Do they care about me at all? Do they miss me? Are they even looking for me?_

Emily tries to shake the thoughts out of her head but they wont go.

 _What if they really aren't looking for me. Did they ever care about me?_

Without thinking Emily turns to the camera and looks into the lens. Hurt is evident in her facial expressions and in her voice. "Wher are you guys?"

* * *

 **Again super sorry for the delay. I have big plans for this story and will NEVER abandon it. Thank you for your support. Love you guys so much.**


	10. Robert

**WOW! Chapter 10. I hope you guys are liking it! I have big plans for this story so I am no where near done. Thank you to everyone who has supported me throughout all these chapters. Also I said it was going to be derek / emily but I'm changing it to hatch / emily bc I LOVE them. Also I will have the next month to write because I'm on break from school! Also remember that in this spinoff the team knows emily has done undercover work but has noooo idea where at to what extent this bitch is pre Lauren!**

* * *

 _Without thinking Emily turns to the camera and looks into the lens. Hurt is evident in her facial expressions and in her voice. "Wher are you guys?"_

As soon as she says it it feels as if a bucket of ice water has been poured over her.

 _How can I even think that? The team has always been here for me….. but have they? I mean…Fuck Emily STOP_

Emily physically shakes her head to rid herself of the thought, for all she know she's only been here for a few hours. The rational part quickly agrees with her time assessment. After all, he sticks to a pattern and so far he's only hit her. She estimates that she's been here for around 8 hours.

However, it's extremely hard to listen to the rational side of yourself when you're drunk and concussed.

A hiss of pain escapes her mouth as she shakes her head. The concussion has gotten progressively worse. If she doesn't get medical attention soon who knows what could happen.

 _"_ _You need to keep up your strength. We have a lot to do in the next few days."_ His voice rings in her ears. Over and over and over again his voice sounds with every pound of her head.

It gets to be too much and Emily slaps her hands over her ears to try and muffle the sound. It sounds as if he is standing right next to her whispering in her ear. Her body faces the camera and she looks straight into the lens.

"Make it stop. Someone p please make It stop." She doesn't know who she is talking to but at this point she doesn't care. It could be Hotch, Derek, hell she'd talk to anyone if they would just make it STOP.

When the voice doesn't subside she lets out a frustrated scream and throws her hands down at her sides.

"I need to to get out of here." Without another thought Emily leaps to her feet. The world instantly starts to tilt and she grits her teeth to stop the sudden rush of nausea.

The agent stumbles as if blind around the room trying to find another way out. The large door is still locked and there seems to be no other obvious ways out.

 _Come on damnit, think!_

As Emily does a 360 of the room she quickly looses her balance and stumbles backwards. Her back connects with the metal of the autopsy table and she jumps out of her skin away from the horrible thing.

Her eyes remain locked on the ugly machine in the corner that will soon be her fate. Emily can almost hear the screams, smell the burnt flesh. That is what the future has in store for her, of that she is certain.

Where had her faith gone? It hasn't even been a day and there were doubts already.

The sudden burst of energy that had filled her left her just as quickly, and she sinks to the ground next to the food he had left her.

A part of her wants to eat it. She's starving and it would sober her up faster. The faster she sobers up the faster she can find a way out of this place.

But what if he poisoned it?

 _Why would he do that? He needs me alive._

After a few seconds of hesitation she crawls forward slowly and grabs the sandwich and water bottle.

 _I mean how much worse could this situation really get?_

Emily quickly opens the water bottle and drains a fourth of it. It takes all of the self control she has to not drink the whole bottle, but who knows how long it will be until he gives her food and water again?

The previous victims, for the most part, didn't have any food in their stomach so it had to have been days since he had fed them.

 _Is that going to happen to me? Will I be here for the next week?_

The thought is almost too hard to fathom.

She sets down the water bottle unhappily and picks up the sandwich. It's peanut butter and jelly. Her stomach clenches as she picks up the sandwich.

It sends a shiver down her spine as she realizes he knows it is her favorite, that he in fact knows a good amount about her.

It was a well known fact around the BAU that peanut butter and jelly is her favorite type of sandwich, a fact which often led the others to tease her.

 _Emily walks from the kitchenette to her desk with a sandwich in her hands._

 _It's a slow Friday and Emily can't keep out of the kitchen. It's been a nasty habit she's had since she was a child, eating whenever she was bored or had nothing better to do. Luckily for her she had a fast metabolism and it had never affected her weight._

 _Her mother had often yelled at her for her overeating and it led to a heightened level of stress whenever she overate._

 _Emily sits down at her desk and hears a chuckle from Derek._

 _"_ _What is that your third sandwich of the day?" Derek leans forward on his elbows with a gleam in his eye that lets Emily know he's joking around with her._

 _"_ _Second and it's none of your business." Emily throws him a mock glare and looks back to the mountain of case files in front of her. That's something that will never get old, her banter with Derek._

 _"_ _Emily only eats more than one sandwich on the days that she's bored. Eating more than one sandwich is also correlated with her picking her nails. Probably because as a child if she overate her mother would discipline her which no doubt caused her stress." Reid leans over Derek's desk while reading a case file._

 _Emily scoffs and swats at Reid with the file in her hand "stop profiling me Reid." It was an unspoken rule between all of them, not to profile each other. This was harmless though, so she wasn't really mad._

 _Derek ignores her and turns closer to Reid. "And what type of sandwich does Emily eat when she is most bored?"_

 _"_ _That doesn't take a genius to answer, Morgan. Its peanut butter and jelly of course." JJ walks towards the group with Hotch trailing behind her._

 _"_ _Peanut butter and jelly? I made Jack one for lunch this morning. Do you want me to start making an extra one for you in the mornings?"_

 _The group stills slightly as Hotch joins in on their banter. It's not that they don't like trading words with Hotch, it's just that it doesn't happen that often._

 _Reid looks up from his file and stifles a laugh._

 _"_ _Okay, okay. I didn't know it was make fun of Emily day. I would have stayed home if I had gotten the memo." Emily rolls her eyes and tries to hide her smile behind the file._

 _Something happened when Hotch picked on her. It made her smile, it made her feel strangely flustered. She couldn't pinpoint exactly when the relationship between them had shifted. In the months that Haley died and Emily had taken care of him something more had evolved. Friendly touches and warmth filled smiles. She had found herself craving his presence. It was closer to a friendship than relationship by any means but it had still evolved._

 _Emily looks up from her file she's pretending to read and locks eyes with Hotch. The smile on her face grows tender for the shortest second and then she looks way before anyone can see it._

The memory allows a rouge tear to slip out of her eye. She sets the sandwich on the ground and wipes it away quickly. She doesn't have time for this. For feelings of Hotch and the rest of the team. That won't get her out of this situation.

Emily blows out a breath and looks up to the ceiling while shaking her head. And then she sees it.

Out of the corner of her eye she spots an anomaly in the paneling. The old barn walls had been replaced with modern white paneling. It all looked the same, except for one rectangle that appeared to have a soft glow. The size and shape of a window.

* * *

The room is awash in a thick cloud of tension.

Derek sits on one side of the kitchen table and Elizabeth sits on the other side.

Other officers who occasionally walked in had felt the dark atmosphere and practically ran out of the room. Word must have spread around to not bother them, no one had been in for many minutes.

Annoyed would be an understatement. The fact that Hotch had forced him to babysit the ambassador instead of being with the rest of the team watching over Emily aggravated him. I mean why him? It would have made more sense if it was JJ or Rossi.

 _Son of a bitch_

Of course it was him. Other than the fact they are in a constant battle of alpha male wills and Derek and the ambassador had just been fighting, Derek isn't blind. He's noticed the changing relationship between Hotch and Emily. The way they look at each other when they think no one else is watching.

It hand't escalated past friendship, of that he is certain. What he cant help is how much it bothers him. How every time he touches the small of her back to guide her out of a room it has his blood boiling. How every time she smiles at Hotch he feels overwhelming sadness.

So Hotch, in his show of dominance, stuck him on baby sitting duty. Hotch must have noticed his feelings toward Emily.

"I hope you're not always this angry." Elizabeth quirks an eyebrow at him while taking a sip of her coffee. She may not be a profiler like her daughter but that doesn't mean she doesn't notice behavior.

It takes Derek everything he has to not roll his eyes. Instead, the agent lets out a breath and cracks his neck to try and push the tension out of his body.

"Sorry. We're all just stressed right now with Emily missing."

"You more than others."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh don't play coy with me agent Morgan. Whatever you feel for my daughter goes far past friendship." Elizabeth puts her mug down and crosses her arms "I''m not stupid you know."

A scoff leaves Dereks lips "Ambassador Prentiss she's my partner, and I don't like what you're implying."

Elizabeth grins in a similar way that Emily does when she's about to say something sharp. It strikes Derek as funny but he doesn't say anything about it.

The two of them are virtually twins, physically at least. On the inside however, they couldn't be more different.

"Dear I know she's your partner, but of what kind I'm not so sure."

Derek groans out loud and brushes his face over his hands. "I walked into that one."

"You did" Elizabeth laughs tightly in a way that Derek knows is not a true laugh, but it's something.

If picking at him will make the ambassador feel better about the situation then hell, let her pick at him. Derek is content enough to let her trade words at his expense.

Derek crosses his arms and leans further back into the chair. "It is important to me that you know that yes I do care about Emily, but we are just friends."

"Interesting."

"What?"

"It's the second time I've had this conversation with someone on this team."

Derek narrows his eyes and and leans forward against the table. "What are you talking about?" He knows what she is going to say but he cant help himself.

The ambassador seems to pick up on his discomfort and jumps on it like a predator. "Two weeks ago I had the same conversation with Aaron Hotchner when I visited Emily at work. Although he was far more defensive than you, and even more confused. I don't think he realized the feelings he has for her until I pointed them out." She lets out a sigh and cracks her fingers. "I imagine that's why he has you keeping an eye on me and not agent Rossi or Jareau."

"I didn't realize you were a profiler" Derek snaps. How she had managed to have this conversation with Hotch without any of them being aware escaped him. He also didn't know how she had gotten everything so right.

"I'm not, but my job does require a certain attention to detail when dealing with people, I suppose I picked it up."

The room is silent again. The silence stretches on as the two size each other up. Tensions rise again as they sit there, eyes locked, in a silent battle of wills.

A shrill ring breaks the tension. Elizabeth retracts her phone from her pocket and instantly narrows her eyes. "it's him."

"Who?"

"Emily's father, he's here."

* * *

 _"_ _Wher are you guys?"_ Her quiet question echoes loudly in the silent room. Each member of the team bows their heads in shame, each member, except for Hotch.

His eyes burn with sadness and a hint of anger as he observes Emily through the camera. The agent isn't mad at Emily of course, but at the unsub. Mad at the entire situation, but most importantly mad at himself. He wanted Emily to go undercover to catch the unsub yes, but he also wanted to prove he could still act as a rational team leader with his newly found feelings for her. She had said that she felt comfortable going under and he had practically delivered her to the unsub.

Watching her on camera was hard, but he figured not knowing what was happening would be harder. After all, when they got her back they have to know how to help her heal. _When_ , and not _if,_ he is sure of it.

"Garcia did any of your searchers yield even possible matches?"

Garcia brings her head back up and looks Hotch in the eye. "No sir, I was explaining to Derek earlier that I think that means something. I believe that he is some kind of computer god. He completely wiped any traces of him on the internet, which is incredibly hard to do. This guy is like uber smart…" she pauses.

"And?" Rossi steps closer to Garcia and wills her to continue. It's easier to focus on the tech goddess than Emily flailing about on the floor.

"And I don't want to make a humongous leap here but I don't think he's in the medical field."

"Reid already said that…." Hotch begins but Rossi quickly shoots him a look and the senior agent quiets. Rossi is the only member of the team that is able to get away with a look like that.

Penelope falters slightly and begins to play with her eccentric colored shirt. "Well it's just that we know that he has to have the free time to stalk and abduct these women and coupled with his like genius computer skills…"

"You think he works from home?"

Garcia nods and looks around the room of profilers as if she did something wrong.

"It would make sense" JJ begins "he could easily have a computer job from home. That would give him enough time to stalk these women and torture them whenever he wants. Garcia you should look at computer professionals in the area and then widen the net to all jobs involving computers."

Penelope nods feverishly and quickly leaves the room, happy to finally have something she can do. Without anything to search she had quickly felt useless. It was either twiddle her thumbs or watch over Emily, each choice sending her spinning.

"I think I'll go help her with that." Reid quickly excuses himself from the room.

No one blames him.

Rossi quickly sends Hotch a look. One that means they should send Reid to the bureau psychologist when this case was done for an evaluation. The entire team would have to go afterwards anyway, it was protocol when a member of any team is harmed.

 _"_ _Make it stop. Someone p please make It stop"_ Emily pleads from the other side of the camera.

It breaks all of their hearts, to hear her cries and not be able to do anything to stop them. The alcohol and concussion has her borderline delirious.

JJ takes on look at her hands covering her ears and the sad look in her ears and lets out a few choice words.

Both mens' heads snap towards JJ as they hear her swearing.

"I'm sorry, this is just awful. It's only been what, 8 or so hours since she's been there and she's already breaking? I know it's the concussion and the alcohol but what happens if we don't find her for a few days huh? We all know what happens on day 10."

Bile rises to Hotch's throat and he has to quickly clench his jaw and will the feeling to go away. It won't do him any good to think about what could happen if they don't find her soon.

If JJ or Rossi noticed the episode neither of them commented on it.

 _"_ _I need to to get out of here."_ Emily jumps up on the screen and begins to frantically run around the room. She does a lap around the room and then immediately does a 360 turn, running into the autopsy table behind her.

"Is there anything that stands out in this room, anything we can use to trace him?" Hotch forces himself to step closer to the large monitor and scrutinize everything in the room.

JJ chuckles darkly "other than the electrocution equipment in the corner that Emily is currently staring at? Nope Hotch nothing out of the ordinary." As soon as she says it she visibly winces, her tone harsher than she had meant it.

Hotch looks over to JJ, standing at his far left past Rossi, but doesn't say anything. He doesn't need to, the message is clear in his gaze. _Pull yourself together._

"I'm sorry. We fought right before we left last night…."

No one says anything but both men in the room understand.

Rossi squeezes her arm for a few seconds before he drops his hand.

Without saying anything both agents step forward to line up with Hotch and look at the monitors in front of them.

"Is it safe for her to drink that water and eat that sandwich?" Rossi's voice breaks the silence that had overtaken the agents as they watched Emily navigate the room and eventually slide to the ground. She limped and winced but never voiced her pain.

"I don't see why it wouldn't be. He wants her to keep up her strength. It wouldn't fit his plan if he poisoned the food." Hotch looks to the agents and sees the conflicting opinions in their eyes.

"What if he didn't poison it? He could easily have slipped a date rape drug into the water bottle or even into the sandwich. We've already seen that he likes to incapacitate her, why not do it with a drug instead of the alcohol? The alcohol can only last so long."

Dread engulfs both Hotch and Rossi as they listen to JJ's words. She's right, it would be the easiest way to keep control in the situation.

Rossi takes a deep breath "forget date rape drugs it could be anything" he winces at the word rape, each member of the team dancing around the word for Emily's sake "it could be any drug in the world and each one would make it easier to over power her."

"It would also make it easier for her to "give up". If Emily is under the influence of a drug we have no way of knowing how she will act."

"Do you really think she would be more likely to "give up" under the influence?" JJ turns to Hotch with even more worry in her eyes.

"Anything is possible if she is given drugs. Especially if he gives her a powerful hallucinogen, she could think it was a dream. Or she could experience negative effects and want to be released from the drug itself. We can't know until she digests that food…"

Rossi holds up his hand to stop the two agents. "What the hell is she looking at?"

All three parties step closer to the monitors at the same time so that their noses are almost touching the screen.

"It looks like she see's something on the wall." JJ squints as she tries to follow Emily's eyes.

The brunette is positioned at the perfect angle so that the agents in the room can see the path that her eyes are following as well as the spot she is looking at.

Rossi tries to spot what she is looking at and quickly shakes his head. "JJ do you see anything? You're the youngest one here and my eyes aren't what they used to be."

It takes all of her will power to not crack on Rossi for being old, but now isn't the time. "Sorry guys but my eyes aren't the best. Reid is probably our best bet, I'll go get him." Without another word the blonde has left the room on the hunt for Reid.

The room is silent in her absence. It isn't uncomftorable though, both men concentrated in trying to see what Emily is still staring at. It quickly becomes frustrating.

Lucky for them JJ returns within minutes with Reid trailing behind her.

The young genius steps up to the monitors and places his pointer finger right on Emily's eye. He traces her line of sight carefully until it reaches the wall.

"Can you…."

Reid holds up a hand and steps right in front of the monitor, blocking Rossi's view entirely.

The monitor is, unsurprisingly, great quality and the image is clear. It takes a few minutes for Reid's incredible brain to piece together the anomaly before him. All of a sudden he turns around and for the first time in hours, doesn't look hopeless.

"Guys I think it's a window."

* * *

Robert yanks open the door to the grimy police station and storms in, ignoring every officer who tries to get into his path. He had always hated police stations. The stale smell of coffee and the sound of phones non stop ringing annoys the hell out of him.

Several unformed officers try and step into his path but one look from the man in the suit has them backing away. Standing over 6 feet and weighing over 200 pounds of pure muscle, it wasn't often that Robert couldn't intimidate anyone to leave him alone.

An older man steps in front of his path. The man has closely cropped hair and light blue eyes. He doesn't wear a uniform and doesn't back away from Robert, so he is ranked here.

"I'm detective Richardson, and I have to ask you what business you have being here. You are not allowed to storm through my precinct with no explanation. If you do not state your name and your business I will have to ask you to leave." He crosses his arms as he waits for an explanation.

Robert tilts his head and takes in the man before him in. He has to give credit where credit is due, most won't talk curtly to him. The detective also hasn't broken eye contact since the exchange began. He begins to open his mouth when he spots a victim board over the detectives shoulder with Emily's picture on it.

Without offering anything up the larger man steps around the detective and storms toward the board.

"SIR!" The detective barks but it lands on deaf ears.

In a quick movement Robert rips his daughters picture from the board and brings it closer to his face. It is not her standard FBI picture which he would have preferred, that would at least remind this idiots that she was one of them. No, it was just a normal picture of her. The scenery was black and revealed nothing, it was her face that struck him. Her mouth was slightly open as if caught in the middle of a laugh with her dark hard cascading around her and eyes wide with happiness, she looked beautiful.

A flash of pain renders the large man speechless and all he can do was stare at the picture before it is ripped from him by the detective.

"You CANNOT be back here sir. I'm going to have to ask you to leave." The detective bellows out and latches onto Roberts arm with a vice like grip.

Before Richardson can understand what is happening the larger man has twisted the detectives arm and shoved him against the closest wall. "She's my daughter you _idiot."_ Robert spits out the words filled with venom.

"Oh Robert, you always did know how to make a scene." Elizabeth stands against the doorway that leads down the hall with her arms crossed over her chest. Derek stands next to her.

At seeing his ex wife, Robert instantly lets the detective go and gives him room to back away.

Richardson sends him a murderous glare as he leaves the room in the direction of the rest of the FBI agents tucked away in the monitor room.

"It's good to see you Liz, not under the circumstances of course." Robert steps forward and diplomatically kisses Elizabeth on both cheeks.

"Yes well, you look good Robert."

And she was right, he does. His dark brown hair hadn't greyed a bit and his blue eyes were as piercing as ever. No wrinkles appear on his face and his body had not lost definition either. It was easy to see that he was a very handsome man, especially in his sharp suit.

He laughs and continues to ignore Derek "you as well, Liz." His face grows grave "do they have any idea where she is?"

Elizabeth sighs and runs a hand through her hair "vaguely, they have uniforms searching the area now but it is so vast that without narrowing it down there is now way they will find her. She's alright though, very tough just like her father."

"How do you know she's alright?"

"The unsub has a video camera on her that is sending the footage to our monitors, sir." Derek steps forward, tired of being ignored and juts out his hand toward the man "Agent Derek Morgan, Emily's partner."

As soon as Roberts eyes land on Derek the agent can feel his scrutinizing glare. The older man looks him up and down, an unimpressed look marring his handsome features.

"I know who you are, and I don't believe I was talking to you." The older mans eyes narrow at the agent and he refuses to shake Derek's hand.

"Excuse me?" Derek is utterly shocked as he dejects his hand and brings it to cross his arms. Ambassador Prentiss had said that Emily's father would be harder to deal with but he wasn't ready for this level of disrespect.

"I don't believe I stuttered agent Morgan. I know exactly who you are and what kind of partner you are. Apparently not a very good one because my daughter was abducted" he lets out a bark of a laugh "partner? No I don't believe so. Partners are supposed to watch each others back, you don't know the meaning of the word."

As he speaks Robert advances upon him, and as much as Derek hates it he takes steps back as the older man takes them forward. Robert has at least 50 pounds and 3 inches on him, at least.

"Say what you want about me but up until now I hadn't heard a single thing about you. Father? _you_ don't know the meaning of _that_ word." Derek spits the words at him and regains the upper hand in the spar, stepping right into the mans personal space.

"Can we _please_ not do this now." Elizabeth holds her hands up sounding annoyed and quite frankly bored. She's used to her husbands antics by now, and curses herself for allowing Derek to come with her to meet him.

Emily forgotten, the two men stand practically chest to chest.

"Agent I don't know what you know about me, but I could end your career with a snap of my fingers." To emphasize his point Robert snaps his fingers.

"Enough." Hotch comes down the hallway, grasps onto Morgans shirt, and pulls him back. The agent goes without complaint.

Robert instantly retreats a few steps as he takes in Aaron Hotchner. "Agent Hotchner, why have you not located my daughter? It can't possibly be that hard to find her, she matters to you all doesn't she?"

Shock registers on Hotch's face briefly as he wonders how he knew who he was. Hotch had certainly never met him. Robert's bluntness doesn't go unnoticed. "Mr Prentiss, it's more complicated than you know. I would be happy to explain if you would come with me."

"Not Prentiss, Jones."

"Excuse me, sir?"

"Robert Jones." He extends his hand and Hotch shakes it with narrowed eyes.

"I don't mean to pry sir ,but why is your last name not Prentiss?" Hotch tilts his head as he mulls over the name, it sounds oddly familiar. Like he had heard it recently. Robert Jones.

"After Liz and I got divorced, we decided to change Emmy's name back to Prentiss so that it would not infringe on her chance at work."

Derek steps up "I'm not following."

Robert tries to hide his annoyance at the younger agent "When Emily graduated college she was recruited by the CIA. So that people did not believe she was unfairly given her position, we had her last name changed.

"Wait a second, Emily was in the CIA? I suppose that explains her well developed undercover skills." Reid walks towards the group at the end of the hallway with JJ in tow.

"I assumed you all knew, her specific missions were sealed but you still should have had access to the information that she was an agent."

Every agent looks to the other one, no one knew about Emily's previous job.

Hotch shakes his head with his brow furrowed. This was definitely NOT something he knew or something the bureau shared with him which is surprising. Someone had to have specifically keep cover this up in her file. Elizabeth probably had a hand in it.

Robert looks up and spots a blonde halo of hair. "Jennifer, how are you darling?" He reaches his hand out and the blond agent places her much smaller hand in his large one. Gently he pulls her out from behind Derek and Hotch and gives her a kiss on each cheek as he did with Elizabeth.

"Nice to see you again, Robert."

"Oh you have got to be kidding me man." Derek shakes his head in confusion. How the hell does JJ know who this man is? Who _is_ this man?

"You know each other?" Reid stands behind Hotch and Elizabeth further down the hallway with his brow furrowed.

"We've met on several occasions." Robert's answer is curt and it is obvious that he won't share anymore on the subject. Their relationship was nothing more than professional, but he would be lying if he said he didn't like keeping something from the smug agents. He had never liked the FBI.

The two had had lunch on several occasions with Emily when she didn't want to go alone. JJ had even gone along when Emily's parents demanded her presence at several galas. On other occasions he had run something work related by her.

JJ nods next to him but says nothing, choosing to look at Elizabeth rather than her friends.

"Sir why don't you come with me and I can explain everything that is happening and what we have found so far." Hotch gestures into the hallway.

"I'd prefer to hear it from Jennifer, to be clear she's the only one I trust. I mean no disrespect but it's my job to not trust easily." With narrowed eyes he follows after Hotch with JJ trailing behind him obediently.

When the trio is gone Derek lets down his guard and rubs his hands over his face. "I really don't like him. I mean who is that guy, really?"

Elizabeth chuckles darkly and turns her attention to Derek. "Robert is a former navy seal and current deputy director of the CIA. He means what he said, he can end your career with the snap of his fingers. I would be careful around him if I were you."

Without another word she follows the path her ex husband and the other agents had just taken to the kitchen, leaving Reid and Derek wide eyed and alone.

* * *

 **Again so sorry for the delay, but I am on break from school now and should update more frequently. Thank you to everyone who continues to review even after these long gaps in chapters, love you all! Also if you think I am going too out of character or just too big in general let me know, I understand this story is a little theatric but I do not think the characters are acting or saying anything outside of the realm of possibilities. See you soon. XOXO.**


	11. Run Emily run

**I'm back guys! Thank you to long time reviewers zhangxianna and dauntlessfourever for leaving reviews on my last chapter! Dauntlessfourever you asked for more Emily action….. ask and you shall receive! I really want this chapter to be more Emily centered because we have only seen little snippets of her! Also thank you to spooladio and minxheart, new reviewers! I don't get many reviews so new ones make me excited and I appreciate EVERYTHING all of you say. Also I don't actually know if concussions cause short term memory loss but we're gonna pretend they do**

* * *

"Let me just see if I'm getting this right. You sent my daughter….with the same hair and eye color as other victims… undercover as a…..prostitute? With no warning in advance? Hardly any time to prepare her story? No time to uncover the holes in the plan and fix them? And now she's drunk…. And concussed?" Robert spits out the words at agent Hotchner, though JJ was the one who had spoken to him.

His words ring true of any CIA agent, and what their main concerns for any mission are. There is also a touch of fatherly concern and it makes for an interesting combination.

"Like I told you, _sir_ , Emily had dozens of police officers, as well as our team, tailing her. We made sure she felt completely comfortable with going undercover, and she was heavily wired. Her dark features also made her the only agent who could go undercover." It takes every bit of self control Hotch has to keep his voice calm and his fists unclenched. He understands it of course, the worry that Robert feels, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with him.

JJ stands helplessly against the kitchenette cabinets with her arms crossed. The two men had been going back and forth for god knows how long. She had had to run interference a few times, and the environment was quickly loosing its civility.

Two alpha males in the same room fighting for dominance over the conversation, and whether Hotch realized it or not, over Emily.

It hadn't taken JJ long to realize the relationship between her boss and best friend was shifting. The two had started to stand closer, not enough for most people to see, but enough for JJ to notice. Hotch had started to stand slightly in front of her whenever cops from whatever case they were working flirted with her, as if he was protecting her. The two had a habit of walking to their cars together, which are now parked much closer than they had once been. Even if they didn't know it, they were falling for each other. And that's only what JJ had seen on the job, who knew what happened outside of work?

Robert stands a few feet away from JJ while Hotch, Elizabeth, and Reid sit around the table facing the other two. Rossi is watching over Emily and Garcia is on her computer.

"Well obviously she wasn't watched close enough otherwise he wouldn't have gotten a chance to _take_ her. Would you like to tell me how he ended up abducting her?"

"Emily was sent undercover for two nights. After the first night we believe he followed us back to the police station and realized she was planted. This unsub is incredibly smart and is a computer genius. He learned everything he needed to about Emily and the next night she went undercover he hacked into the wire she was wearing and scrambled it so she was unable to hear us and we were unable to track her."

"you _believe_ he followed you back? You mean you don't even know?! This is ridiculous. I want to talk to your superior. The complete incompetence that was displayed is unacceptable!" Again Robert talks to Hotch though JJ had said the words, again.

His words are spit with so much poison that JJ involuntarily shrinks back from the man next to her.

Robert and Hotch are coiled with tension so tight they are like rubber bands getting ready to snap.

"ENOUGH" Derek stands suddenly and moves his chair out of the way. "Bickering back and forth like this isn't going to get us anywhere. Emily was taken, and there was nothing we could have done to do to stop it. We can all sit here and fight until we're dead but it won't help Emily, and that is all we want to do; find Emily and make sure she's okay."

Hotch nods uneasily and forces the tension to leave his shoulders.

Robert seems less ready to back down. His arms are crossed in front of his chest and his breaths are rapid and heavy.

"I want to see her."

"What?" Derek acts as if he hadn't heard him.

"I want to see her on the damn camera."

"Robert I don't think that's such a good idea….." JJ moves closer to the older man and looks at him with sympathy. "She doesn't look the best right now."

The older man starts to protest when Elizabeth holds up her hand. Before now she hadn't responded to the argument around her. She had passively sat by and listened to the two go back and forth.

"Just let him see her."

"Sir…" Reid tries to diffuse the situation.

"With all due respect no one knows what we're going through. I carried Emily in my womb for 9 months and we have raised her for 40 years. We have soothed every fever, cured every cold, and helped with every nightmare. You have all known her for what, 6 years? We've known her her entire life. Take whatever you're feeling and amplify it by 100."

For the first time Elizabeth doesn't sound like an ambassador, she sounds like a scared mother.

The agents say nothing.

"Fine, if you won't take him to see her than I will." Elizabeth stands and grabs her ex husbands hand and pulls him out of the kitchenette.

Within a few seconds they enter the room with the monitors. If Rossi objects to the pair in the room he doesn't say anything, just turns back to the monitor.

Every agent piles into the room expect for Reid, who had probably gone back to help Garcia.

No one speaks for a long time.

Robert steps closer to the monitor and twists around, his face contorted.

"I know this has to be hard….." JJ steps closer to the man to offer support.

"No, no. I mean yes this is incredibly hard but….. what the hell is she doing?"

* * *

Emily stands flush against the wall with her neck bent at an uncomftorable angle. She looks straight up toward the patch of wall that glows ever so slightly.

 _That has to be a window. What else could it be?_

It is roughly 5 feet above her.

 _How do I get up there?_

Emily backs away from her awkward position against the wall and surveys the room. Her gaze locks onto the closest thing toward her, the autopsy table.

Quickly, Emily scurries over to the table and pulls it roughly. Her movements aren't as sharp as she would like but she doesn't have time to complain. He could be back at any moment, who knows how kong he's been gone for?

The table jerks toward the agent with a loud scraping sound.

Emily cringes as the sound echoes in the barn. Deafening silence rolls over the barn as she freezes in place and listens for any sound of the unsub. After several long and stressful seconds Emily lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding.

With another sharp tug the cart moves closer to the desired location. The sounds of the moving table are loud and with each tug Emily's heart race increases.

A particularly loud screech from the wheels has Emily spinning around to look at the door just in case. He could hear the noise and come running at anytime, and then he would tie her down again and do god knows what.

 _Wait…. When did he untie me?_

Emily stands with her brow furrowed as she tries to pinpoint the exact moment when he had untied her. It had to have been after the alcohol….. or was it?

 _Damnit Emily it doesn't matter!_

She shakes her head and something in the corner of the room grabs her attention. The chair that she was tied to lays on its side.

 _DUMBASS WHY DIDN'T YOU USE THAT?!_

Emily moves to push the autopsy table out of the way to accommodate the chair when she hears it. Hurried footsteps from outside the barn, and the unsub shouting her name angrily.

It's as if it doesn't matter that she's still drunk and has a concussion, for a few seconds her agent skills kick into high gear.

Emily dashes across the room and gracefully lifts the chair off of the ground and sprints toward the door. If she could her see herself she'd be incredibly impressed that she'd managed to move so swiftly and gracefully.

The doorknob starts to turn just as Emily thrusts the chair under the knob. The turning stops.

"Emily open this damn door!" The unsubs voice is muffled, but it would be hard to miss the anger laced in his tone.

Without answering Emily backs up a few feet to observe her handiwork. The chair seems to be holding, luckily.

The unsub is quiet from the other side of the door. She can hear the sound of receding footsteps.

A jolt of accomplishment thrums through her body. Finally she had done something right. After sitting here utterly useless it felt good to do something and have it go her way. Maybe she could get out of here.

CRACK

The door bends with the unsubs weight as he throws himself against it.

Emily is frozen like a deer in headlights. It's as if she doesn't have control over her body.

 _Emily, GO._

This time it isn't her voice in her head, but Hotch's, screaming at her to go. It makes sense that it would be his voice. He is her protecter, her boss. He had always had her back on cases and she his. With all of those reasons it is still strange to her that his voice was what she turned to, she would have to analyze it later.

Without another thought about it, shoving it into one of the many boxes in her head, she takes off running towards the metal table.

The adrenaline coursing through her veins gives her the strength to finish pushing the table against the wall.

The unsub continues to throw his weight against the door, with each passing minute he is getting closer and closer to breaking it off of it's hinges.

Emily scrambles on top of the table and lets a smile break onto her face when she is level with the window, and then she freezes.

 _How the hell am I supposed to break through this paneling?_

"Emilyyyyy" The unsubs voice pierces through the thin walls of the barn. "I'm cominggggg." His sing songs voice brings shivers up Emily's spine.

Panic sets in.

 _Breathe in_

 _Breathe out_

 _Breathe in_

 _Breathe out_

Emily lets out a deep breath and focuses on the wall in front of her.

There's a tiny crack in the bottom right corner of the panel. With one hand she sticks a nail into the crack and pops it up, delighted with her luck when the panel moves slightly.

 _CRACKKKKKK_

The door splinters and the unsub reaches his arm in blindly to try and remove the chair from under the handle.

Emily jumps with the sound and quickly rips the panel away. Sunlight streams in through the window and blinds her, the afternoon sun coming in harshly. She recovers quickly and opens her eyes, a smile on her face at what she had just accomplished.

The window has bars on it.

Blood drains from her face.

She's still trapped. The freedom she once thought she had was ripped through her fingers.

The door gives out and the unsub comes rushing into the room and toward Emily. Without warning he grabs around her waist and tugs her down from on top of the table.

She kicks and flails in his arms with all her might but his strong arms wont let her go.

A gasp of pain echoes through the room as Emily swings her elbow back and into his face.

He reflexively lets go to bring his hands to his throbbing face.

The moment the unsub releases her, Emily finds her footing, sloppily, and runs toward and out the open door, the unsub shouting behind her.

She had found her freedom after all.

* * *

Her legs shake as she runs from the barn she had been held captive in. She hadn't run since she had been taken and even then before the case began, and the misuse is showing.

All that matters is the trees that she rushes past, the feel of the forest floor underneath her bare feet, and her harsh breathing as she sprints through the woods.

The afternoon sun beats down on her exposed skin and somewhere in her mind she realizes that it must be around noon. She had been missing for around 10 hours if her calculations are correct, though that is not what she is focusing on.

The unsub shouts angrily behind her but he is far, the blow to his face stunning him more than she realized and giving her a nice head start.

Not a single thought is in her head as she continues to run, the tattered red dress flying in the breeze. Survival mode has kicked in and that is all she knows.

Until she trips over a tree root and goes flying.

Alone now, Emily lets herself groan in pain. She landed stomach down with her head lightly hitting the dirt and her palms dragging on the forest floor.

The fall was just what she needed to take a break and think. She can't keep running forever, she has to come up with a plan.

Emily stealthily gets up and onto her feet and ducks behind a large tree to her left, listening for sounds of the unsub. It's hard to concentrate on anything expect for her erratic breathing, but when she finally does she hears nothing.

A bird coos from somewhere in front of her and the sound of squirrels climbing trees calms her ever so slightly.

Carefully, Emily steps from behind the tree and collides with the unsub.

He instantly latches his arms around her waist. "Gotcha! You aren't going anywhere now." His grip is vice like and leaves Emily no room to move.

Still she fights, she flails, and she kicks until she stops. She slumps in his arms and the unsub has to change his grip to accommodate her weight.

"God damnit Emily. Sometimes I wonder if you're even worth the trouble" the unsub grumbles to himself as he stumbles to absorb her weight.

The unsub eventually gives up and lays her against the ground, crouching next to her above her head. He can't help but admire her beauty as she lays unconscious. Ugly bruises and dried blood mark her face but it is easy to see that she is attractive.

He hates that he finds her attractive. Hates that every time he looks at her he second guesses his choice to continue to put her through his childhood. He should hate her, despise her, find pleasure in hurting her as he does all of the rest. But she is different, oh yes she is different.

Somewhere inside of him he knows she isn't a prostitute, know's she is not like the others, like _HER._ But is it too late to have something good with her? She might be able to grow to love him, in time.

Maybe when he gets her back home they can have a conversation about their future. If she is unwilling to rise above the others and become his wife, then she will suffer as all the others had. As she will deserve should she refuse him.

It confuses him, these conflicting desires in his head.

 _Hurt her_

 _Love her_

 _Kill her_

 _Save her_

Two sides of him wage an eternal war.

Could he save her, as he himself had never been saved? Or is she like all of the other whores who he had tested and punished.

The unsub reaches out his hand and strokes her cheek gently "what will I do with you, Emily?"

Emily has to fight the natural instinct to flinch away from his touch. He's devolving, she can feel it in his touch and hear it in his voice. It is clear, even through the fog her mind is shrouded in that if she doesn't come up with a plan soon it could end very bad for her.

It is unclear to her whether he has devolved enough that she could try and manipulate him. If she could play her cards right and seduce him to save her the pain that could be coming her way. One thing is clear though, she would do anything to save her life. Even if it meant playing house with him.

Pretending to faint is a lot harder than she thought it was going to be. She didn't think he would be so gentle with her, that he would _touch_ her. She had thought that he would pick her up and attempt to carry her back roughly, so that she could flail out and stun him again.

The unsubs hand moves slowly from her cheek to in between her breasts, and a shiver of terror workes its way through her body.

She needs to do something before his hand moves even an inch in any direction. She couldn't take this, his hands on her. It was much easier to handle when they were filled with rage, not lust.

Without warning a clap of thunder sounds from above and it begins to pour. Buckets of rain come down and within seconds they are both drenched.

The unsub removes his hand and swiftly looks up to the sky that had been sunny only seconds before.

 _Bingo._

With the unsub distracted, Emily grips onto his shoulders and brings her knee upwards, connecting it with his nose.

Blood instantly pours from his nose and by the time Emily removes her knee it is covered in red.

Without waiting another second Emily springs to her feet and delivers a strong right hook before sprinting away in the pouring rain. She had to hope that her punch was powerful enough to knock him out, not wanting to waist anymore time around the unsub. He was a large man and he could easily turn the fight around.

 _Thud_

The sound reaches Emily's ears and a feral grin breaks out on her face as she continues to race through the forest.

 _Take that you sick son of a bitch_

She doesn't know when she finally stops running. She has no way to tell how long it had been, or what direction she was headed. All she knows is that she's exhausted, and if she doesn't stop running now she won't be able to start again later.

That's when she notices it. It had probably been in her mind all along, but her survival skills had not let any other thoughts come to the forefront of her brain.

It has her whipping around in circles trying to prove her brain wrong, until the weight of the revelation sends her crashing to her knees and her tears are mixing with the still pouring rain. She shakes her head and continues to sob until nothing comes.

It's all forest. Everything around her is forest. She had been running for god knows how long and she hadn't seen or heard any sounds of civilization. No other houses, no humans, no cars, no roads, no nothing.

She's alone. In the middle of the forest. With hardly any clothing on. No food in her stomach. No idea where she is. No hope.

She would scream if the woods around her weren't so quiet, he could be anywhere. Instead she throws up hopefully the last bit of alcohol in her system.

With the last bit of strength left in her system, Emily drags her battered body over to a nearby bush and tries to cover her body with it. She lays her head against the ground and holds back tears, she refuses to cry anymore. It won't help her in any way, in fact it would be a waste of time.

Her last thought is that she won't waste anymore tears on herself, even refuses to, before exhaustion claims her and she falls asleep.

* * *

 _The sun warms her skin as she walks through the field, barefoot and wearing a sky blue sun dress._

 _She closes her eyes and basks in the warmth, feeling more at ease than ever before. She can't remember how she got into this field, or even where she is, but for some reason none of that matters to her._

 _A tug on her waist has Emily stumbling back into a hard surface, an arm wraps around her waist and another one gently around her shoulder and neck._

 _"_ _I miss you" Hotch breathes into her ear and kisses her gently on the cheek "come home, Emily."_

 _The feeling of safety washes over her and she knows that she could stay forever in his arms. That she could be content to never move an inch, as long as he was here._

 _Emily furrows her brow as his words hit her. If she wasn't home…. Where was she?_

 _"_ _MOMMY!" A shrill, feminine voice that could only belong to a toddler rips through the silence of the field._

 _A mass collides with her mid section and another with her legs, causing her to stumble backwards._

 _Hotch accommodates the new weight and laughs, a sound that has Emily spinning her head to look at him. When had she ever heard him laugh with so much joy?_

 _"_ _They miss you."_

 _"_ _Who?" Emily had never been more confused in her entire life._

 _"_ _US!"_

 _For the first time since they had latched onto her, Emily looks down at the two children clinging to her._

 _The child wrapped around her legs is male, and he looks up at her with a face that she had watched grow up._

 _"_ _Jack!" Emily smiles down at the boy and ruffles his hair._

 _A tug on her hair pulls Emily's attention from the boy to a child she had never seen before._

 _Rested on her hip (when had Emily shifted her there?) was a little girl. She had incredibly dark hair and eyes and it felt as if Emily was looking at a toddler version of herself. The girl had all of her prominent features, except for the dimples which were unmistakably Hotch's._

 _The little girl reaches her hand to touch Emily's cheek and says in that adorably young voice "I miss you, come home mommy."_

 _Instead of this situation startling her as much as it should, the scene puts her to ease. In this moment she realizes this is all she wants. A man who loves her, and children they can watch grow up._

 _When had her life become this? What had she done to get so lucky?_

 _"_ _Jack, Amelia, go play tag for a while."_

 _Without needing another push, the two children unlatch from Emily and go running off into the flowers and grass around them._

 _"_ _Amelia?" Emily hears herself ask in a small voice as she turns around to face Hotch._

 _"_ _I know that you wanted Jennifer after JJ, but I think it's a beautiful name." Hotch brings his hands up and clutches her face with his hands._

 _Emily weakly nods. Tears threaten to roll down her face, tears of joy._

 _The sun disappears suddenly and a streak of lighting lights up the sky._

 _"_ _Come home, Emily."_

 _A clap of thunder shakes the ground and without warning Hotch is gone._

 _"_ _Hotch!" Emily screams at the top of her lungs, not caring about how weak and scared she sounded. The feeling of safety is gone. She spins around desperately trying to find him._

 _It begins to pour, and Emily knows without a doubt that she is alone in the field that had once held her family._

 _"_ _Come home, Emily."_

* * *

"Come home, Emily."

Emily's eyes spring wide open.

Gone is the field of flowers, grass, and sunshine. Instead she lays on the forest floor half covered in a bush. Rain continuously falls from the sky in thick droplets.

It had been a dream, just a dream. The feeling of profound loss washes over her.

She mourns for how happy she had been, how safe she had felt. It was a cruel dream, to show her everything she could have and then have to wake up here. She would rather have had a nightmare.

At the same time, if fuels her desire for freedom. She could have everything she had seen in her dream if she could find her way back. Back to Hotch and the team, back to her possible future.

With the last bit of the dream leaving her, she could begin to asses her surroundings.

The sky was filled with dark clouds and it didn't look like the rain would stop anytime soon. The rain would have been unbearable if it hadn't been for the early June warmth. Though Emily was hardly wearing any clothing, she felt comfortable with the temperature.

It was starting to get dark outside, a strangely beautiful twilight had set over the forest. The sun had just barely gone down behind the trees.

Her entire body was aching. Her face was throbbing, her ribs were definitely bruised if not cracked, and her abdomen was killing her. Bruises littered her legs, arms, torso, and face. But at least it didn't feel like anything was broken.

 _Whoopty fricken doo_

The concussion is troubling as well as the high possibility for internal bleeding, but there isn't anything she can do about it.

It feels like the alcohol had mostly left her system, or at least it's now at a tolerable level. Emily had functioned drunk before and she'll no doubt function drunk again.

Taking a deep breath, Emily forces herself to sit up. The world spins far more than she'd like and a headache pounds against her skull but at least she's alive.

Apparently there's more alcohol in her system than she thought.

Emily tilts her head in thought and tries to guess how long she'd been gone.

 _It has to be around 18 hours._

 _Holy shit, I've been asleep for 8 hours in the damn woods?! Jesus Christ Emily, it isn't damn nap time. Do you want to go home or not?_

"Come home, Emily!"

Emily freezes as she hears the voice of the unsub ringing through the forest. He's close, and if she doesn't do something soon he'll find her. So that's what had woken her up.

 _Points for determination you psycho_

Without another thought, Emily springs to her feet and begins to climb the nearest tree.

"Come home, Emily!" His voice is angrily desperate and he runs swiftly through the forest trying to locate her.

The second Emily had scrambled to the top of the tree and situated herself in a branch the unsub runs past the bush she had been in and stops.

He brings his hands to his face and a flash of metal makes Emily's heart stop.

He's holding a gun. She's being hunted.

Emily brings her hands up over her mouth to cover up the sound of her breathing. She would be shocked if he looked up in the trees but you never know.

As if he knows she's been there, he stares down at the bush. In a swift movement he crouches down next to it and picks up a red scrap of fabric.

 _Fuck._

 _Fuck this dress._

 _Fuck this forest._

The unsub looks around swiftly and runs further into the woods, away from her.

Emily drops her hands from her mouth and lets out a deep breath.

And now, all she can do is wait.

* * *

 **Alright so I didn't plan on making it so hotchniss, honestly I didn't obut I LOVE THEM and couldn't help it. They're my babies. Leave me a review, let me know how I did :)**


	12. The teams side

**Thank you for all your reviews! I didn't get as many as I usual do but thats okay. Also I'm a fricken idiot and for some reason grouped CIA with Interpol even though Emily never worked at the CIA she worked at Interpol?! But just pretend she worked at the CIA**

* * *

"No, no. I mean yes this is incredibly hard but….. what the hell is she doing?"

JJ stops mid sentence and refocuses her eyes on the screen. A small smile breaks its way onto her face. "She's escaping, we believe there's a window there and she knows it."

 ** _Screeeeech_**

Emily had started to move the autopsy table.

"He's going to hear her if she doesn't try and be more quiet. He may even have cameras hidden in the room watching her."

Everyone shoots Hotch a "no shit" look and he finds himself shifting his eyes to the ground.

 _Good job captain obvious, because that is exactly what you should say in a room with Emily's parents._

"She hasn't eaten the sandwich" Rossi notes with a nod of his head "that means she has her wits, she'll be okay."

Elizabeth moves next to her ex husband and asks the question she knows he wants to ask but doesn't have the patience for "What's wrong with the sandwich?"

No one seems to want to answer and JJ has to fight the urge to roll her eyes. Sure she was closer with Emily's parents, but that doesn't mean she has to be the one to deliver all of the bad news. If anything it should be Hotch, the one in charge.

"There may be nothing wrong with it, but there is a possibility that he slipped a drug into it. It would make her easier to control and it would be more effective than alcohol."

Surprisingly neither Elizabeth or Robert says anything to that, they simply look at each other and look away.

The look had Hotch narrowing his eyes, he didn't like that look. It spoke volumes to Emily's mysterious past.

"Is there something you want to tell us?"

Robert narrows his eyes as he turned to look at Hotch, a little surprised with his direct manor. "No not really, at least not right now."

Hotch squares his body as an act of defiance, ready to argue before they are interrupted. He files it away to ask about another time.

 _"_ _Emily! Emily!"_ The unsubs angry shouts float over the speakers.

Seconds after he screams her name Emily is running over, grabbing the chair, and sticking it under the doorknob in one fluid motion.

"Are you sure Emmy has a concussion?" Robert knows that she does, knows that she's concussed and drunk and barley surviving but he has to ask anyway. The longer he sees her like this, in this tattered dress and stumbling around, the more his chiseled CIA persona is crumbling.

Instead of answering JJ just puts her hand on his shoulder and squeezes, it's nicer than Hotch or Rossi or god knows Derek insisting that she is. The simple contact gets the message across just fine.

Any word from Derek seems to put Robert on edge, which is probably why the young man had remained quiet. It was smart of him, JJ notes.

 _"_ _Emily open this damn door!"_

 ** _CRACK_**

JJ's heart rate spikes as the door starts to budge under the unsubs weight. He was a large man and with a few more strikes he could easily break down the door and take his anger out on her friend.

Emily doesn't move, and at first they assume the feed must have jumped or something. After a few seconds however, it is clear that it is Emily that is frozen, not the feed.

"Emily, GO!" Hotch can't help it, standing here and watching her frozen like a deer and headlights makes him more anxious than he likes to admit.

Everyone in the small room jumps at the intensity at his voice, but otherwise say nothing.

As if Emily hears him, she begins to take off into action. She pushes the metal table against the wall and climbs onto it just as the unsub makes another attempt to break down the door.

 _"_ _Emilyyyyy i'm coming"_

A collective breath is held as the unsubs voice meets their ears. It seems to cause Emily to stutter too, as her movements still slightly. They begin again seconds later as she tries to remove the panel.

 ** _CRACKKKKKK_**

The unsub splinters the door and his hand reaches through to try and remove the door.

"Oh my god…." Elizabeth brings her hands to cover her mouth and she shuffles closer to Robert. She doesn't realize she had done it, and neither does he.

Emily rips the panel away just as the unsub rushes into the room and grabs her around the waist.

It's as if they're watching a sporting event and rooting for their favorite team. Each time Emily does something that pushes her closer to freedom they all cheer in their heads.

Emily drives her elbow into the unsubs cheekbone and he lets her go. She runs out of the barn and past the range of the cameras.

Five minutes later everyone is still staring at the screens, as if at any moment Emily will run back in or the camera will switch to outside of the barn.

"We need to sleep, Garcia can take her shift watching the screen and she can let us know if and when Emily comes back."

"Are you kidding me man, I'm not sleeping. Emily's out in the woods somewhere, we should go look for her."

"Sleep, are you kidding me? My daughter is out there you can't just go to sleep."

Derek and Robert speak at the same time. The two make awkward eye contact and then quickly look away, not intent on mending the relationship just yet. It's easier to have something, or rather someone, concrete that you can be mad at. It's not like the unsub is here.

"We have officers combing the woods. If we want to find her we have to keep a level head and to do that we have to have sleep, I don't like it anymore than you do. That's an order. Mr Mills, ambassador Prentiss you can do whatever you want but first I want you to tell me what you're keeping from us."

* * *

The only sound that can be heard in Garcia's mini office is the clicking of the keyboard as her fingers fly across it. She had been working tirelessly to try and track anything in the room where Emily was being kept.

Usually Garcia was like the teams secret weapon. The team would be lost and all of a sudden Garcia would pull something from her magic computers and the case would be solved. Only this time, she was as lost as they were.

Useless didn't even begin to describe how she was feeling.

"What are you looking for Garcia?"

Reids voice in the doorway surprises her and the blonde jumps slightly. Before Reid can awkwardly apologize for something that wasn't his fault Garcia beckons him over with her hand. "Sorry baby boy I'm a little on edge. Well, I guess we all are."

Reid nods his head as he sits down next to her quietly. Reid is never quiet.

The silence stretches on and it makes Garcia uncomftorable. With each second that ticks by her frown gets deeper.

"Are you okay boy genius?" She knows it's a stupid question, but she hopes he'll answer it honestly. The only way she can help him is if he's honest.

A ghost of a smile makes its way to Reids face as he looks at the ground. "Watching Emily is too hard for me. I know it's hard for everyone but…. I cant help but be taken back to when I was in Emily's situation. And I know I need to be in there and I need to help the team but I can't and I feel…..guilty."

Garcias heart breaks at his words but she understands. She can hardly be in that room and she hadn't been abducted and tortured in front of cameras.

"Do you want Dilaudid?"

Reid shifts his eyes from the ground to meet Garcias "every minute of every hour since Emily has been in front of that camera."

"Will you use?"

"No."

Garcia smiles and touches his cheek softly. She doesn't need to tell him how much they all love him. Doesn't need to tell him that no matter what the team will be there fo him; for him and for Emily when they get her back. Doesn't need to mention the fact that he shouldn't feel guilty and no one on the team blames him for not being in that room.

Because deep down he knows all of those things, and it would be a waste of breath to to tell him something he already knows.

Garcia shifts back to her computers "to answer your question I was trying to track down that horrible shocky machine thing. I mean how many people can have one of those right?"

Reid instantly leans closer to the screen pleased with distraction. Garcia never was one to push him or dwell on negative feelings "Have you found anything?"

"Nadda, at least not yet. I don't understand how that's even possible. I'm useless in this case, completely useless." Garcia throws her hands up in the air and crosses them back over her chest.

"Garcia you're not…."

The door bursts open and suddenly there's a breathless Derek in front of them.

"Emily escaped!"

"She what?" Garcia and Reid both shriek in unison.

"Escaped into the woods! Hotch told us we have to get sleep but I refuse to sleep while Emily is somewhere in those damn woods. Reid do you want to come with me?"

Reid jumps up at the chance to do help without watching Emily on the monitors. "Yes!"

"What about me?"

"I'm sorry baby girl I need you to stay here and watch the cameras in case he finds her and brings her back."

Garcia squashes the fraction of hurt she feels, this isn't about her it's about finding Emily. "What about JJ or Rossi or Hotch?" She wanted to, needed to, do something to help Emily.

"I'm going with Reid and Morgan to look for Emily. Hotch and JJ are discussing something with Emilys parents, Hotch thinks they're hiding something." Rossi steps out from behind Derek so that Reid and Garcia can see him.

"oh, ok. Got it. I'll watch the monitors."

Derek steps forward and kisses her quickly on the forehead. "Thanks baby girl, we'll be back soon. With Emily."

Without another word the trio takes off quickly toward the front of the precinct.

* * *

The rain assaults them as soon as they walk out of the precinct. The sun is hidden behind the clouds. Within seconds each man is drenched.

Neither the kitchen nor the monitor room had windows so they hadn't known the weather, had hardly known the time of day. Lucky for them it was midday so there was enough light to search and wasn't pitch black.

Without words all three agents filed into the closest SVU and began to drive towards Adamstown.

"Where are we going to start our search?" Always the pragmatic one, Reid had to be the one to bring up the first problem. They had absolutely no idea where to start looking.

Behind the wheel, Derek looks up at Reid through the rearview mirror "After Emily ran out I talked to officer Richardson who still, by the way, had no idea who leaked Emily's information. Uniforms are scattered throughout the area so we'll look where they haven't had a chance to."

"How did she escape?"

Rossi chuckles from the front seat and it feels good, god knows they all need a laugh. "She gave him an elbow to the face."

"Good. Hopefully she fractured his zygomatic."

"His what?"

"His cheek bone."

"Fingers fucking crossed" Derek spits out "if she didn't I sure as hell will."

If either agent picked up on Dereks hostility and thought it was angrier than it would be with any other member of the team, neither said anything.

It's quiet for a few moments.

"Hotch is gonna kill us."

They all laugh.

* * *

The tension in the room is palpable.

Hotch and JJ sit on one side of the kitchen table while Elizabeth and Robert sit on the other side. It seemed the kitchen was now the place to have uncomftorable confrontations.

There were several conference rooms that officer Richardson had tried to offer them, including the corner of the precinct that they had initially set up in. That option was quickly turned down because of the victim board that Elizabeth and Robert didn't need to look at.

The kitchen was the most convenient spot seeing as how it was right across from the room with monitors and just down the hall from Garcia's mini lair. If anything important happened they would know about it in mere seconds.

Time really was of the essence.

"I need you both to know that I respect your privacy as well as Emilys privacy. But whatever you are keeping from us can only harm her. If it was important enough for you to silently communicate with each other than it is important enough for us to know."

"We merely looked at each other, what are you mind readers now?" Elizabeth spits out the words as she stares Hotch down.

If looks could kill.

Hotch understands that it must not be easy to be talking about this, whatever this is. It obviously has something to do with Emily and drugs. The way the pair clung to the secret gave it a negative connotation. Nothing ruins an ambassadors reputation worse than a daughter who does drugs.

"Did Emily have a drug problem in the past?"

Robert snorts and switches his gaze to JJ. "You have met Emily before, right? Can you see her doing drugs recreationally? God no. "

"So she did drugs for a specific reason, non recreationally?"

Robert harrows his eyes and locks onto Hotch's equally intense gaze. The agent clenches and unclenches his jaw, and Hotch bets he is angrier at himself for the slip up than at Hotch for asking the question.

After a few seconds of obvious deliberation the man begins to speak.

"Years ago when Emmy was new to the CIA she was undercover with an underground drug ring in France. The ring had been infiltrated before, which meant it was very hard to gain their trust. Emmy managed to successfully infiltrate and take down the cell but it came with a price."

"A price?" JJ echoes. She has a very good idea of what the price could be but she hopes that she's wrong.

Robert blows out a breath and wipes his face with his hands. "She was required to do several drugs and do certain….. activities while under the influence. She never told us what the drugs were and what activities specifically and we didn't ask. It took her a long time to get over, though. Months and months of drug therapy and daily sessions with a psychiatrist."

Both Robert and Elizabeth drop their eyes to the kitchen table. It was obvious to see they were embarrassed by this. Not that Emily had taken the drugs, but that they had let her.

"How old was she?" JJ has her eyes closed tight.

"it was two years after she graduated from Yale. We're telling you this now because if he does give her drugs it might trigger flashbacks and make it even harder for her to fight. She might toggle between her past and the present."

Hotch wished he hadn't seen the exchange between the two that lead him to opening this discussion. An overwhelming anger takes hold of him and he slams his hands agains the table top.

"How could you do that to your own daughter?"

Robert's eyes dart from the table to the man across from him. "How dare you patronize me, agent Hotchner. I don't have to explain my actions to you. I didn't push her to do it, she jumped at the opportunity to help her country. You are the one who let her go on this suicide mission."

Robert rises to his feet and Hotch does the same.

"I didn't send her on a suicide mission, sir. And I sure as hell didn't sit back and watch her do drugs fresh out of college."

There is hardly any space between the two men now.

Elizabeth and JJ exchange lazy glances but neither tries to stop the fight. Maybe this is what the two men needed, and after this fight they could stop acting like children and unite to find Emily.

After all they had been fighting this entire time, and it would be great if they could finally get it out of their system.

"And you, all of a sudden, know what is best for my daughter? I am her father. You are merely her boss, you know nothing about her."

The corners of Hotch's mouth twist up in a cruel smile. "I've talked to Emily every day for the past six years. I know how she thinks, I know her hopes and dreams, and I know her biggest fears. I have her best interests in mind at all times. I promise you I know her a hell of a lot more than you do, and we are FAR more than friends."

If Hotch had been thinking ahead the words wouldn't have left his lips. The implication was very clear, and it was crafted to get a rise out of the older man.

Robert's eyes widen exponentially "wha…wh.. you WHAT" Robert sputters, it clearly wasn't the response he was anticipating.

Elizabeth, who had just picked up her glass of water, chokes on the liquid as it threatens to come out of her mouth. She had talked to agent Hotchner only two weeks ago and nothing had happened between the two of them then. In all honestly Elizabeth didn't expect him to be so brazen.

The two men ignore her and JJ rushes to her side to make sure she is okay. Once Elizabeth gets her coughing under control JJ moves from her side.

"ENOUGH!" JJ clamps onto Hotch's arm and pulls him away from the older man. "We are going to look for Emily, and you" JJ points to a still fuming Robert "are going to check into a hotel and get some sleep. No arguments."

Without another word JJ drags Hotch out of the kitchen and away from the exploding scene.

* * *

The rain pelts down on them as they continue to search the woods. They had been looking for hours and they hadn't found anything.

It had to be at least four in the afternoon.

Dereks stumbles on a branch as they continue to run quickly through the woods. It reminds him of all of the scenes of LOST with the characters running through the jungle in the rain.

Instead of gracefully catching himself as he had done multiple times over the past few hours, Derek falls to the ground roughly.

Rossi instantly stops in his tracks and circles back to help the young man get up. "You okay, Derek?"

"Yeah, Yeah I'm fine" he grumbles as he gets to his feet slowly. "Where's Reid?"

"Here." The young genius yells as he comes up behind Derek and Rossi out of breath. The rain came down so strong that they had to yell to hear one another.

Running wasn't Reids strong suit and they had been doing it for hours. The younger agent was quickly tiring, though he would never admit it to his friends. Emily could be so close to them and he would never forgive himself if he was the reason they stopped looking.

"Do you want to take a break?"

"No. Lets keep going."

Rossi and Derek exchange a look but say nothing. It was obvious to them that the running had taken a physical toll on him, but if he wasn't going to press it than neither were they.

Without another word the three take off running through the forest.

It begins to rain even harder and within minutes Derek has lost both Rossi and Reid.

"ROSSI. REID" Derek screams at the top of his lungs while he circles around trying to find either agent.

As he continues to circle around something catches his eye. It looks like a scrap of red fabric, the same fabric that Emilys dress was made out of.

Carefully, Derek inches closer and closer to the large bush. His heart beats faster the closer he gets to the bush. This could be the end of this nightmare, but it could also be the beginning. If it was Emily she could be a live or dead. Or it could just be a scrap of her dress, and at least that would give them a lead.

"Derek!"

Derek whips around to see JJ standing 10 feet away from him. He can hardly see her in the heavy rainfall.

"JJ? What are you doing here?" He tries to yell over the rain. He can tell that she cant hear him and instinctively moves closer.

"I dragged Hotch out to help look for Emily. Have you had any luck?" JJ screams over the rainfall and walks closer to Derek.

Derek turns his head back to where he thought he saw the red fabric. There's no sign of what he thought he saw, and he chalks it up to the rain and his imagination. He must have wanted to see something so badly that he imaged it.

After a hard and long look Derek shakes his head and turns back to JJ.

"No, nothing. Lets go back and regroup with the others."

JJ nods and grabs onto his arm, leading him back to where the others stand waiting.

If Derek had looked closer, he would have seen Emilys arm protruding out from under the red fabric.

* * *

 **So thats that! I know that it has taken so loooong for me to update but I said it before and I'll say it again, I will never give up on this story! School literally kicks my ASS and I'm drowning in work all the time! Also so sorry that this chapter is shorter but I think it just ended naturally there. Also the reason he didn't see Emily when he looked back is because she moved her arm, if you can recall the timing she is asleep right now so she shifted in her sleep and moved…. Poor baby.**

 **Review pleaseeeee love you all!**


	13. so close

**Thank you to Zhangxinna, Thalium, and new reviewers Spooladio and Hotchnissminds! Hotchnissminds thank you so much for liking the story and following me as an author, that really means a lot! I posted the chapter at one am here and woke up to all these amazing reviews, really was a great way to start my day! I've got people who wish for Emily to be found and people who want more Emily / unsub. I planned to drag this story out much longer because I, in essence, truly want to break Emily. That probably sounds awful but even with the stuff with Doyle in the show she just brushed it aside to an extent. I am planning on having the unsub inflict all of the types of torture on her, including the sexual assault component. I know many people are appalled at that fact but I believe that everyone skips past that issue and I want to use this story to help those who are suffering. I don't know if any of you watch private practice but I loved that they didn't jump around on that issue with Charlotte as like all other tv shows do. Why do we love to make our favorite characters life hard? Find me a kick ass woman with emotional trauma and I am THERE.**

* * *

Derek and Hotch were the only ones that remained in the woods.

It had been a long argument about who was going to stay and continue to search. JJ had insisted that she should stay because her and Emily had gotten into a fight and this way she could make it up to her. Reid insisted that he should stay because he couldn't watch Emily on the cameras and this is a way he can help.

In the end it had been up to Hotch, of course. If he had it entirely his way however, he would be the only one still searching. No matter how long he tried to get Derek to leave the younger agent wouldn't budge. After fighting back and forth for at least a half hour Hotch had finally relented. If he hadn't the two would have fought until the end of time. This way they could get back to looking for Emily.

It was pitch black outside. Rain continued to pound on the two agents, but not as hard as it had been earlier in the day.

Hotch looked at his watch and was surprised at how late it was.

 _10:15 pm_

Emily had been missing for a little over 20 hours. It sent a pang through his heart. That was 20 hours too long.

He missed her like crazy.

They has been out here for around 10 hours and still nothing. It struck him as funny that he had ordered everyone to sleep, and yet here he and Derek were searching for her.

 _Maybe I'll have a talk about ignoring direct orders when we find Emily._

Hotch shakes his head and picks up his pace through the forest.

"Emily!" Hotch shouts her name and stills, listening for any signs of her.

They shout once about every ten minutes. If they shouted her name too often the unsub might hear them and attack them. But, if they shouted more Emily would have a better chance of hearing them if she was still out here.

IF she was still out here.

Either way, they were risking their lives every time they shouted for her. Neither agent seemed to mind.

A movement out of the corner of Hotch's eyes catches his attention.

"Morgan?"

Though it wasn't raining as hard as it had been, there was still little visibility. Especially because it was so late at night. The moon however was shining bright, and it was the only reason the agents could see.

Morgan didn't answer his call.

 _Great, that's just great Aaron. Lose Morgan in the process of trying to find Emily._

"Emily!"

Nothing but the sound of rain reaches his ears.

Hotch turns around to retrace his steps and find Morgan when the sound of a branch breaking somewhere in the distance meets his ears.

It sounded too heavy to be an animal, so that only meant one thing. The air around him seems to still, as if the forest is waiting for him to make a move.

Without another thought Hotch takes off running through the forest. His breaths come in short, fast spurts.

The relentless rain seems to lighten up for a few seconds. A figure looms several yards in front of him.

In seconds the rain picks up again and the visibility is shot, the figure no longer able to be seen.

Hotch's heart rate increases and he pushes his body to go faster. His muscles burn with the overuse but he couldn't stop even if he wanted to. He was going to catch this son of a bitch.

The sounds of the unsub running in front of him reaches his ears and it was all the motivation he needed to speed up.

The two run for what feels like forever, the entire time Hotch continues to creep closer and closer to him. The more he closes the gap the faster his heart races in anticipation.

With the last ounce of strength in his body Hotch lunges forward and wraps his hands around an ankle.

The person lets out a growl as the two bodies hit the forest floor.

As soon as they hit the ground Hotch scrambles on top of the figure. Hotch grabs onto both shoulders and flips him over entirely, still sitting on his chest.

A masked man stares back at Hotch. Dark brown meets dark brown.

Anger burns deep within Hotch. His blood bubbles and pumps and all he can think about is Emily.

 _This man hurt Emily, and wants to hurt her even more._

Hotch pulls back his arm to deliver a punch.

Before he can land it the man brings his knee up and strikes Hotch right in the groin.

"mother fucker" Hotch instinctively rolls off of the unsub and onto a pile of branches.

Without hesitating the unsub pins Hotch's arms and legs. There is no room for the agent to move.

The unsub punches him. Over and over and over again until all Hotch can smell is the blood that pools on his face. Black spots dance around his vision.

The unsub grabs onto Hotch's collar and pulls the agent up "Earlier I was going to spare her, to allow her to become my wife. We could have had children and been happy. Now I realize she is a lying whore, just like all of the others. I will test her in ways she didn't know she could be tested. And when she breaks, because she will break, I will kill her and I will make you watch. I suppose it might take longer than usual, but I'm up for the challenge and I'm sure she's worth the wait.

His voice is muffled as blood trickles down the agents ears.

"Hotch!" Morgans voice shouts far away in the distance. The sound of the agent running towards them echos in the forest.

The unsub instantly backs off of the man and runs in the opposite direction.

"Hotch where are you?"

His voice is closer now.

"Here." It comes out weak and it causes the older man to wince.

Within seconds Morgan is at his side and helping him sit up.

"Man are you okay?"

"I'm fine, where is he?!"

"I didn't see him."

"He was just here, we have to find him we have to go after him." Hotch pushes Morgans hands away from him and stands up.

Instantly he begins to chase after the unsub until two hands clamp down on his arm and pull him back.

"We have to get you to a hospital."

"I'm fine!"

"Hotch lets go! You're hurt and we've been looking for hours. LETS GO." Morgan pulls hard and drags him in the opposite direction.

Hotch knew there was no point in arguing. Derek wanted to look for Emily as much as he did but there was no point in stumbling around in the dark.

"Emily!" The older agent tries one more time before letting Derek drag him in the opposite direction.

* * *

She doesn't know when she fell asleep. In fact she had tried to stay awake for as long as possible.

Though she had just gotten roughly 8 hours of sleep on the forest floor, her exhaustion still threatened to drag her under.

It was common sense that when you're injured your body requires more sleep, especially with the concussion and the alcohol trying to push her into unconsciousness. Still, Emily fought sleep with everything that she had in her.

As the last of the sunlight was replaced with the pitch black she found herself relaxing into the tree branch she was leaning against. It was uncomfortable and she knew she'd have a hell of a lot of scratches but she couldn't fight it.

She knew that falling asleep in this tree would be of no help to her, for when she woke up she would still be lost in the middle of the woods with the unsub chasing after her.

It didn't matter, though. Didn't matter that sleeping won't help her in her current situation, or that she could fall out of the tree and break her neck.

All that mattered was the quiet sounds of the rain falling against the leaves and the natural sounds of the woods around her. It is that sound that lulled her to sleep.

Living in big cities for the majority of her life meant that she would wake up to the sounds of cars and people and the city itself.

It was the sound of rustling branches, and not cars, that caused her to wake up.

At first she is disoriented. Her eyes open slowly and she can't remember what the hell she is dong in a tree.

And then she does.

Her memories come rushing back to her as do overwhelming amounts of fear and sadness.

The bark of the tree digs into her back as she sits up.

It is pitch black outside and it leaves her feeling unsettled. She would have to rely on her ears instead of her eyes and ears, which only made things harder.

Her hair is plastered to her face as the rain continues to come down lightly. The blood that was dried on the side of her face has long washed away, leaving the wounds visible and exposed.

Emily brings her hands up to wipe the sleep out of her eyes so she can focus on what to do next. She is conflicted on what to do, not for the first time since she had been taken.

If she chose to stay in the tree for the night she could get more sleep and leave in the morning. But if she left right now she could cover more ground and the darkness offers more cover from the unsub. It could be dangerous however, stumbling around in the dark.

Before she can make up her mind she hears it.

A far away call of her name. It's too far to hear who it is, but that doesn't matter. All that matters was that her team was here, they came for her.

The sound increases her heart rate exponentially and for the first time since she was taken she feels a sliver of hope.

The call of her name was replaced by loud sounds of branches breaking. The sound seems to get closer and closer, it sounds as if someone was being chased.

 _Come on Emily go, DO SOMETHING_

All of a sudden there is silence. The forest is still, as if anticipating something. And then she hears it.

"Hotch?"

The sound of his name makes her heart race. It hadn't even been a full day yet and she already missed him much more than she thought. His smile, his voice, his calming presence and warm hands. She missed him.

No. She didn't just miss him, she loved him. She was crazy, stupid, over the moon in love with Aaron Hotchner.

How had she not noticed this before? Sure she had realized she had feelings for him but these ran….. deep. Far deeper than she thought possible.

Branches breaking close to the tree she was in caught her attention and she knew it was now or never.

With a sudden burst of strength Emily sits up and swings her legs over the branch. After letting out a deep breath Emily wraps her hands around the trunk and begins the perilous task of trying to shimmy her way down the tree.

Her ribs slam against the trunk of the tree with every inch downward and each breath feels like she is on fire. The bruises covering her entire body throb with each connection, but she continues her way down the tree towards her team. Her family.

Tears streak down her face as she continues to scrape her already battered body against the tree. The pain is excruciating.

A hidden branch protrudes from the tree and nicks her right against the ribcage.

Emily lets out a gasp and instantly lets go of the tree, her hands moving to the wounded spot on reflex.

Within seconds she realizes what she has done as she falls to the ground.

She lands flat on her back, the air knocked completely out of her. She quickly flips onto her stomach and tries to get to her feet.

"Hotch." She tries to scream his name but it comes out as a pitiful gasp as she tries to catch her breath.

"Emily!" The voice, she can now identify as her boss's, calls out from farther away than she thought, and sounds as if he was moving away from her.

"Hotch!" Her voice is stronger this time but remains a raspy gasp. Emily gets to her feet and instantly falls back onto her knees.

Branches break in the opposite direction as Hotch and Morgan walk away from her. Tears stream down her face as she no longer hears the steps of her family.

They hadn't found her. She was still alone.

But…

If it wasn't Hotch and Morgan near her, then who was it?

She doesn't have to ask as she feels the cold metal of a gun against the back of her head.

"Did you miss me, Emily?"

Goosebumps travel up her spine.

 _No! God damnit NO_

More tears prick her eyes as she thinks of all the things he will do to her when he gets her back to the barn. They threaten to overflow when she thinks about how close she was to getting out of this nightmare.

Before she can respond he slams the butt of the gun against the back of her head and the world goes dark.

* * *

A groan escapes her lips and she scrunches up her face as she slowly regains consciousness.

Without even opening her eyes she can feel it, pain radiating from the back of her head. She finds it is hard to breathe and for the life of her she cant remember why.

 _Am I having a nightmare?_

For some reason she knows she shouldn't open her eyes, that it would be better for her to force herself back to sleep. But she can't. She has to open her eyes.

She slowly tries to get her bearings as her eyes remain closed. She lays on something hard and cold. She can tell that lights are on above her. The smell of blood and a slight hint of cleaning products lingers in the air.

Instinctively she tries to move her hands to feel the object she is laying on when panic seizes her.

 _I'm tied down._

 _Fuck._

Emily slowly opens her eyes and fights every step of the way to keep herself from wincing. After her eyes adjust to the harsh light she takes in her surroundings.

Fluorescent lights shine down on her and she can see exposed beams supporting the ceiling.

 _I'm in a barn. Why the fuck am I in a barn?_

Emily strains against the leather cuffs that bind her wrists to the table. She can now see that it is a metal table, almost like an autopsy table.

 _That can't be good_

When she lifts her head toward her chest she notices that her legs are in leather cuffs as well.

Emily lets out a sigh and brings her head back down against the table. The rough action brings a wave of pain radiating from the back of her head.

She involuntarily lets out a hiss of pain.

Panic starts to seize her. She hated being tied down, being confined in anyway really. She's absolutely helpless.

 _How the fuck am I going to get out of here?_

Emily tries one more time to lift herself off of the table and when she does she makes eye contact with a man in a mask.

And it all comes back to her.

"Good morning, Emily."

"Morning?" Emily strains against her bindings to try and find the patch of wall that exposed the window. The air is knocked out of her lungs when she realizes he must have replaced the drywall.

She wants to scream. The little advantage she had, the little bit of progress that was made was gone just like that.

"Just barley but yes, it is morning."

"What time?"

"Around three."

Emily winces and breaks eye contact with him. She'd been missing for around 24 hours. The longest fucking 24 hours of her life.

As if reading her thoughts he smiles and walks closer to Emily "yes, we've been together for around a day now. Time flies when you're having fun"

The unsub steps up to Emily and caresses her face.

Quickly he brings his hand back and strikes the side of Emilys face.

The sting causes her eyes to water and she has to choke back the scared sob. The situation was spiraling out of her control and each second she lays tied to this table is a reminder of how vulnerable she is.

When she doesn't react the unsub stoops down to speak into her ear. "Give up, Emily."

"No." A tear makes its way slowly down her face and she curses herself for letting one slip past her defenses.

In a tender movement the unsub wipes the tear from her eye and immediately stands up. He walks quickly to the silver machines and grabs a pile of objects laying on top of it.

Emily widens her eyes as he comes back towards her and sticks one onto the left temple. She shakes her head from side to side as he attempts to put one on the opposite side.

"God damnit Emily stay still."

When she refuses he latches onto her face with his hand and squeezes tight. The force instantly gets her to stop and he successfully places it on her.

As he places them on each arm she fights with her natural instincts to flinch away.

 _Do not show fear._

That philosophy was shot to hell when he started to connect wires to each suction cup.

"Get the FUCK off of me." Emily growls as he clips one onto her the side of her head.

He simply hums and connects the last of them.

Her struggling gets her nowhere, there's only so much she can do tied down.

Without another word he turns away from her and grabs a black, large board of some kind. He expertly flips it and shoves it under Emily's head.

"What the fuck?"

He continues to try and slide it under the squirming brunette.

It isn't hard like she thought, on the contrary. It's a soft and squishy material. Almost like the material of a dentists chair.

Emily presses herself against the table she lays tied to so it cannot pass.

"God DAMNIT Emily." He grabs onto her hair and pulls her upward roughly.

A shriek of surprise leaves the brunettes clenched lips and the unsub has just enough time to slide the cushion under the rest of her.

"What the fuck is that for?"

He leans in next to her ear "If I turned that machine on without the cushion you would be fried to a crisp. Now where's the fun in that?"

Involuntarily Emily flinches back from him and her eyes widen. This was happening. There is nothing she can do to stop this.

"Give up."

"No" Emily is shocked at the strength of her voice, she certainly doesn't feel that strong. In fact she is scared, more scared than she had ever been before.

More scared than she had been when she was undercover with Doyle. Doyle. God she hadn't thought about him in ages. Every so often she catches his scent in the wind and is taken back to the villa in Tuscany.

It would be so easy for Emily to float to the back of her mind and Lauren to take control. Or even Jade. It would help, god would it help. But only for the time being, and if she ever got out of here it would make for a ginormous mess. And a hell of a lot of explaining to do to her team about who Lauren is.

 _Not like I'll ever get out of here_

 _Jesus Christ Emily, keep it together you've only been away for 24 hours._

 _Oh shit._

 _I've only been here for 24 hours and I'm already tied to this table about to be…._

The flip of a switch drags her attention back to the situation at hand.

The machine comes to life and lights instantly flash. A horrible whirring sound signifies what is about to come.

The unsub faces her with his hands inches away from a bright red button.

"Give up, Emily."

Emily clenches her teeth for the pain she knows is about to ripple through her body. "No" she spits out through a tight jaw.

Without another word his hand slams against the red button.

She doesn't scream, somehow she doesn't scream. All she can see is stars and all she can feel is pain but she does not scream.

It feels as if fire is coursing through her veins. It burns and it stings and it has her begging for death. Of course, she would never do that out loud. She has to hold on.

When he takes his hand off of the button Emily's body falls back down against the table.

Sweat pours off of her body and her breaths are sharp and fast. Exhaustion mingles with pain and together they dance through every fiber of her being.

"Give up."

"J'abandonne"

"сдаваться"

"me doy por vencido"

"mi arrendo"

 _"_ أستسلم _"_

By the end of it there are tears falling from Emily's eyes. She can't say that she gives up in English so she says it in every other language she knows. And it helps, she feels in control.

"What?"

"NO."

The unsub turns up a dial and slams his hand against the red button.

This time she can't help it, the sudden movement caught her off guard and she wasn't able to clench her teeth like last time.

The scream that leaves her is guttural and high pitched. An awful sound that would have anyone within miles of the barn on edge with goosebumps all up and down their spine. That is, if there was anyone around to hear her scream.

* * *

 **Soooooo haven't updated in forever and feel awful about that so I put this chapter together and I hope it doesn't seem rushed. If any of you have seen OUAT when Regina is tortured by Greg thats kind of what I am going for. Poor Em. Leave a review :)))))) also I google translated all of that so I'm SURE it's wrong… whoops. Its supposed to say "i give up." Anywhoooooo review pls :)**


	14. The leak

**Aaaaaaand we back! Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and thank you to each and every one of my readers for being so patient and continuing to read!**

* * *

"I'm fine." Hotch exclaims before anyone can comment on his appearance as he walks into the kitchen and lays eyes on his team. He brings his hands up in a mock surrender gesture.

Derek walks into the kitchen after him and immediately makes his way to the coffee pot.

"Hotch oh my god what happened?" JJ jumps from where she sat on the countertop next to Robert. She rushes to her boss and gently places a hand on each cheek to examine the injuries. With careful hands she tilts his head down to get a better look at the injuries.

Dark bruises pepper his eyes while his lip is split and his nose is slightly crooked- something you would never notice if you hadn't seen him before the fight.

The other occupants of the room get up from their various places around the room and make their way to the unit chief.

"JJ, I'm fine" Hotch grabs onto her hands and brings them down from his face "Derek took me to the hospital and I was given the all clear. My nose is broken but that'll heal in time, other than that I'm alright. It looks worse than it is.

"What happened?" There is no emotion in Roberts voice, no emotion etched onto his face. The older man is possibly wishing he had been the one to give Hotchner the marred face after the comments he made about the relationship he has with his daughter.

"I ran into the unsub in the woods."

Elizabeth's eyes instantly widen and she subconsciously steps closer to Hotch "you found him? Where's Emily?" The older woman looks behind Hotch as if her daughter was somehow hiding behind him.

Hotch hesitates.

"He got away, and we were unable to find Emily." Derek walks back to the small group with his coffee in his hand. He could sense Hotch's hesitance from across the room.

"He what? How in the hell did he get past two trained agents?" Robert takes a threatening step closer and JJ instantly pushes him back the same distance.

If anyone else dared to push him like that Robert would take their heads off. But because it was JJ, he allowed it.

"Man if you couldn't tell by our soaking wet clothes it's a _fucking_ monsoon out there. It was dark. We could hardly see a foot in front of us let alone a man who wanted to hide." Dereks tone is sharp and leaves no room for discussion.

Normally the deputy director would fire back, but Penelope's sudden appearance has everyone quieting down.

"they're back, he's got her."

Hotch learns in that moment that it only takes five words to break his heart.

* * *

Everyone piles into the monitor room as quickly as possible. No one comments on the fact that Reid was surprisingly already there with Rossi, or that Emily's parents are here. Robert and Elizabeth couldn't be kept out of the room if the whole team tried.

However, it was still weird to watch Emily being tortured with her parents in the same room. Shielding the victims family from the harsh truth it usually one of their top priorities.

The unsub carries Emily bridal style back into the barn. Her head and arms hang limply and her tattered dress is barley clinging to her body.

Everyone is thinking the same thing- is she alive?

"Dear god." Elizabeth brings her right hand up to her face and pinches the bridge of her nose. The longer she stands here watching her daughter with that man the more she feels her composure slipping.

Robert places a hand on her shoulder and rubs it up and down to soothe her nerves. It doesn't help.

Instead of placing her on the floor as they suspected he brings her to the metal table in the corner of the room.

Silently, they all watch as he sets her down on the table gently.

Emotions run rampant in his eyes as her sets her down and begins to tie the leather straps. Guilt, anger, betrayal, confusion.

Trying to decipher what he was feeling was easy, trying to predict his future actions was the hard part.

The unsub finishes tightening the last strap at her right arm and stills. With nimble fingers he moves up her right arm to in-between her breasts. He walks his fingers down lower and lower.

JJ has to turn away from the monitor. She can't bare to see him touch her so intimately.

Hotch can feel anger coursing through his veins, can see red beginning to taint his vision. Derek feels the same anger.

"He's escalating quickly. He isn't supposed to begin electrocution until the third day. He's devolving." Somehow Rossi manages to look past what is happening and see straight to the facts.

JJ blinks away tears that are quickly threatening to break free "He shows a sexual magnetism to her that we could not physically see in the others, I think this means we know what happens on day ten. With the rate he's devolving at it could happen by tomorrow, maybe the next day."

"What happens on day ten?" Robert looks back and forth between JJ's turned figure and Hotch's obviously angry one.

JJ had forgotten her parents were in the room, too caught up in the moment to remember.

Reid steps closer to the deputy director "we can't say for sure, it's merely speculation."

"What happens on day ten?" His voice carries an angrier tone.

"Robert" JJ turns back to the older man and shakes her head slightly. She doesn't want to say it out loud, doesn't even want to think it. And she knows damn well that he doesn't want to hear it.

It takes a few seconds for the older man to get it, for it to truly sink in. He undoubtedly would have understood the agents train of thought earlier if it had not been his daughter in question. "He's going to _rape_ her?" The word tastes acidic on his tongue.

Reid is quick to try and reassure the man "we don't know that for sure."

"Jesus christ!" Robert lifts his hands into the air in an angry manner "what in the hell do you people know?"

"Robert" Elizabeth chastises lightly. She doesn't have it in her to argue more, she just found out that her only child is likely to be sexually assaulted.

"JJ he stopped, you can turn around." It is the only thing that Hotch contributes to the conversation. Too focused on the screen to rip his attention away from it, too angry.

The blonde wordlessly turns back to the screen. Without moving her eyes from the monitors she shoots her hand out next to her to try and reassure Derek. Shockingly she feels nothing, and when she looks to her right she sees Derek had moved from his spot next to her. He now stands several feet closer to the door comforting a slightly shaking Penelope.

The unsub turns his attention away from Emily and leaves the barn for mere minutes before he returns with a new piece of drywall. Effortlessly he stands on a ladder and replaces the piece Emily had ripped off.

Emily begins to stir.

As she opens her eyes Hotch release a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. She was awake, she was alive. Yes she was hurt and incredibly traumatized but she was alive, and he could work with that.

Confusion clouds her face as she looks around a begins to strain herself against the leather cuffs.

"It's possible the concussion has affected her short term memory." Reid states, though everyone had been thinking the same thing.

Emily strains harder against the cuffs until she locks eyes with the unsub who had been watching her from the corner, and then all of the fight leaves her in an instant.

 _"_ _Good morning, Emily."_

 _"_ _Morning?"_

 _"_ _Just barley but yes, it is morning."_

 _"_ _What time?"_

 _"_ _Around three."_

Hotch curses under breath, he didn't realize it was that late. Time meant nothing in their windowless working areas.

" _yes, we've been together for around a day now. Time flies when you're having fun."_ The unsub steps up next to her and caresses her face.

 _"_ Sick freak." Robert grits out through his teeth.

The slap he delivers to Emily's face echoes throughout the small room.

Everyone winces at the sound, Penelope lets out a surprised cry at the contact.

 _"_ _Give up, Emily."_

 _"_ _No."_

A tear streaks down her face. A mirrored one falls down her mothers face.

The unsub wipes her tear and walks over to the silver machine and grabs a pile of clear items off of it.

"What are those?" JJ eyes them warily and hugs herself tight.

"Electrodes. The current flows through them." Reid states as he looks down at the floor, the scene in front of him slowly becoming too much. He won't leave though, he needs to step up and start helping Emily. She would do it for him, therefore he must do it for her.

With strengthened resolve Reid brings his hardened eyes back up to the monitors.

Emily begins to strain away from him and the electrodes he places on each side of her head.

 _"_ _God damnit Emily stay still."_

He grabs onto her face and stills her fighting. The fighting begins again as he attaches wires to each electrode.

Derek can't help but let a cruel smile form on his face. She's still fighting- thats a good sign. However, it does nothing for his upset stomach that continues to worsen as the scene in front of him unfolds.

 _"_ _Get the FUCK off of me."_

Robert lets out a dark chuckle "that's my girl."

The unsub grabs a large black board from the corner and begins to try and shove it under the brunette.

"Man what the hell is that thing?"

Emily lets out a similar _"what the fuck?"_ from the other side of the camera.

"it's to lessen the shock, if he turned on that machine right now it would kill her instantly because she's on a metal table." Rossi beats Reid to the explanation this time, seeing the genius struggle to keep answering the questions.

Reid shoots him a nod of appreciation.

Emily presses herself against the table to try and keep the board from going under her.

 _"_ _God DAMNIT Emily."_

 _"_ _What the fuck is that for?"_

 _"_ _If I turned that machine on without the cushion you would be fried to a crisp. Now where's the fun in that?"_

 _"_ _Give up."_

 _"_ _No_

The unsub flips the switch and Penelope turns her body into Derek, unable to look any longer. She couldn't leave, felt that she had to be in this room as if she was supporting her friend.

A whirring sound from the machine is the only sound that can be heard in the monitor room.

The unsub positions himself inches away from a bright red button that the team can only guess triggers the electric shock.

 _"_ _Give up, Emily."_

 _"_ _No"_

It is loud and it is strong, and everyone cant help but feel a little bit of pride. That pride is quickly replaced with horror when the unsubs slams his head against the button.

Emily doesn't scream, god how is she not screaming? Her body lifts and shakes slightly off of the table due to the strong electric currents. Her jaw is clenched and the sound of the electricity flowing through her body can be heard.

When the unsubs hand leaves the button Emily falls back down to the table. She is sweaty and shaking and in incredible pain but she is alive, and that's all that matters.

JJ feels like she's going to throw up.

" _Give up."_

 _"_ _J'abandonne"_

 _"_ _сдаваться"_

 _"_ _me doy por vencido"_

 _"_ _mi arrendo"_

 _"_ أستسلم _"_

"What is she saying?"

Elizabeth sniffles "she's saying give up in every other language that she knows except for English." The woman grabs onto Robert and holds on for dear life.

Hotch notices the action and turns to the pair "Ambassador, deputy director, are you sure you want to see what is about to happen?"

Elizabeth looks at Hotch with wide eyes, and then looks up at her husband. "I'm sorry Robert I can't."

A softness takes hold of Roberts facial features and he brings his ex wife's hand up to his lips. "It's okay, Lizzie. Let's go get a cup of coffee."

Robert leads Elizabeth towards the exit quickly.

 _What?"_

 _"_ _NO."_

The unsub turns up the dial and pushes the button just as Elizabeth and Robert reach the door.

Emily's scream fills the tiny space. It is loud and high pitched and animal like and filled with pain. Goosebumps run down every occupants body.

Garcia lets out a strangled cry and tucks herself into Derek more.

Elizabeth falters forward and Robert steadies her just in time to practically drag her out of the door.

The only sound heard in the room is Garcias quiet cries.

Without warning JJ bolts out of the room towards the woman's room.

Emily sinks down against the cushion with silent tears streaking down her face, until he slams his hand against the button again.

* * *

JJ leans over the toilet emptying the contents of her stomach. She vomits again and again and again until there is absolutely nothing left in her stomach.

The door opens and JJ can feel someone open the stall door and draw up her hair in in their hands.

A hand rubs softly against her back as she continues to dry heave in the face of the toilet. There was absolutely nothing left in her stomach, but that didn't stop the need to throw up.

The image of his hands on Emily replays over and over again in her head, until it is all she can see.

She dry heaves again.

JJ flushes the toilet and turns around, surprised to see Hotch is the one holding her hair.

"You do realize this is the girls bathroom, right?" She tries to smile up at her boss but it isn't convincing in the slightest. There is pain behind those blue eyes.

Without a word Hotch holds out a bottle of water and a stick of gum.

JJ takes it with a more genuine smile and turns away from the toilet completely. With little strength left she sits on the ground.

Hotch follows her lead and sits against the stall door. "Rossi took Garcia with him to get food hoping it would calm her nerves. Derek and Reid left with some canine officers to try and pick up Emily's scent, though it's probably all washed out from the rain. That left me." He gives her a comforting smile as he repositions his body to get more comfortable.

It is hard to fit two grown adults in a regular sized bathroom stall.

JJ puts her head in head hands and her shoulders begin to shake. "What if we don't find her in time?" JJ looks over her shoulder at her boss, tears streaking down her face.

The thought of never finding Emily has his stomach twisting in pain. It was too hard to think about, it was impossible to think about it.

A silence settles over the stall, it isn't uncomftorable in any sense of the word. JJ recognizes that Hotch is thinking about what to say to her.

"I think I love her." He says it so quiet that JJ wasn't sure he had said it at all.

Shock lights up JJ's face as she whips her head to look him in the eyes. She had known he had felt something for her, but she didn't think he loved her. And she didn't think he would proclaim his feelings of Emily to her. Hotch was the most private person she knew, well except for Emily. Maybe they were perfect for each other.

"Oh Hotch, I'm so sorry." Her voice is soft as she moves her hand to rest gently on his shoulder.

Hotch brings his hand to rest on top of hers in a comforting manor.

Without warning Hotch begins to laugh. It starts quiet and before long it fills the entire bathroom.

JJ looks at him as if he's lost his mind.

He can't stop laughing. After a few minutes he finally is able to speak through his laughter. "I eluded to a sexual relationship with Emily in front of her mother and father." He laughs again and brings his head into his hands, the laughter causing his shoulders to shake.

JJ lets out a snort of a laughter and before long the pair are on the floor of the stall laughing hysterically.

"He's going to kill you" JJ manages to spit out between shrieks of laughter.

Hotch shakes his head and begins to laugh harder "Not before Emily will after she finds out what I said."

The pair continue to laugh for several minutes until they cannot laugh anymore. Just as quickly as the laughter had come it stops, leaving the two agents alone with their thoughts.

Where tears of sorrow had just been, tears of laughter are instead.

Both sit up at the same time.

"We will find her in time, JJ." Hotch stands from his uncomfortable position and shoots out his hand.

The blonde takes it and with his help she stands up, never breaking eye contact. "I know."

Hotch opens the stall door and holds it open for JJ.

Before leaving the bathroom Hotch turns back to the blonde. "I need you to call another press conference for an update at the twenty four hour mark."

JJ nods, a frown marring her pretty features "I know."

* * *

Instead of having to set up a press conference in the room dedicated to just that in the precinct, all JJ has to do is go outside.

Over the past few hours press vans and reporters had started to congregate outside of the police station. When news stations began to pick up who Emily's mother was and her important status the story spread like wildfire.

As soon as she steps outside of the precinct, an hour after her and Hotch's chat in the bathroom, cameras begin to flash and reporters begin yelling her name.

JJ is a public figure that practically every reporter knows in the nearby states surrounding D.C. and Virginia.

JJ looks around the sea of cameras and instantly locks eyes on the podium she is supposed to stand at. As she begins to move so do the reporters, and it is quite easy to make her way to the podium when the reporters move out of her way.

Each person falls silent as JJ steps up to the podium and places the papers she has in her hand against against the wood.

The papers are mute, she knows exactly what she has to say.

"Good morning. Again my name is Jennifer Jareau and I'm the media liaison with the behavioral analysis unit. Twenty-four hours ago supervisory special agent Emily Prentiss was taken hostage during an undercover operation by the man responsible for the recent murders in downtown Frederick, Maryland."

JJ pauses as she knows that Emily's picture is being flashed across television screens across the world.

"Agent Prentiss is suspected to be held captive in a secluded barn in Adamstown, Maryland. We suspect that she is alive. If anyone has any information about her current location we ask that you call the number on the screen. We also ask that everyone stays alert and contacts us if you have any information, thank you."

Before she can finish the last word of her speech cameras are already flashing and reporters begin to shout her name again.

JJ nods her head toward a male reporter with fiery red hair as he yells her name and looks like he may die if he doesn't get his question answered.

"How do you know that she is alive?"

 _Because we're forced to watch her on camera as she's being tortured, jackass._

"The average time each woman was kept before her body was found is around four and a half days. Because of Special Agent Prentiss's training it is likely that she can figure out a way to survive longer than the other victims can."

A male reporter with dark hair and eyes catches her eye as he steps forward to ask a question. "Agent Jareau, do you want to comment on the rumor that the reason you know agent Prentiss is alive is because there is a camera that is pointed right at agent Prentiss as we speak?"

 _Mother fucker_

The crowd of journalists goes absolutely crazy with this new question asked. They yell louder than she previously thought possible.

JJ has to bite her tongue and control her facial features before they contort into something truly cruel. She absolutely hates reporters. She absolutely hates when the have the upper hand.

However, there was something oddly familiar about his voice and his features, he must be a regular reporter.

"As you know I can't comment on ongoing investigations. I cannot confirm or deny that rumor. Next question."

An overzealous female reporter that looks hauntingly just like Emily elbows her way to the front of the crowd. "Agent Jareau, are the women in this town safe?"

 _All of them expect for Emily_

JJ felt for the girl, she really did. There was no way that that journalist wasn't drawing similarities between her appearance and Emily's.

"We believe that as of now his attention is solely focused on agent Prentiss and there is no need for the women of this town to fear for their life. That does not mean that anyone should let their guard down, he is still out there. There will be no more questions."

* * *

JJ walks into the precinct absolutely fuming. She turns to the closest uniform and grabs his attention. "Find detective Richardson and tell him to meet me in the kitchen. Now."

Without waiting for confirmation JJ walks into the kitchen and angrily starts the coffee pot, paying no attention to the kitchens occupants.

"Jennifer darling, what's wrong? Is Emily okay?" Robert quickly stands from his place at the kitchen table.

Robert and JJ had always had a special bond from the minute they met. He reminded her of her father, only far more important and intimidating than her own.

The pair had seen each other several times a year; whenever Elizabeth had a social function JJ always accompanied Emily as her date. It gave the girls time to have a fun night out and basically get roaring drunk. Emily was required to be there and JJ loved to help out her friend….. and get drunk.

JJ slams the buttons on the pot "She's fine, Robert. Well fine given the circumstances."

"Then what's wrong?" Elizabeth stands and makes her way closer to the girl. Elizabeth never approved of JJ and her husbands relationship. In her heart she knew it was strictly platonic but she never quite understood why they were so close. Too her an affair wasn't that far fetched. Jennifer was a beautiful girl and Robert was a very handsome man- but the logical side of her knew it would never happen.

"I…."

"You wanted to see me, agent Jareau?" Detective Richardson walks into the kitchen and stills just by the entrance. He wrings his hands subtly, a clear indication of his nervousness to talk to the blonde.

JJ whips her attention from the coffee maker to the older man. As she takes in his nervous appearance the flame of anger she had felt goes out slightly, but not all the way.

"What is your status on determining which of your officers is leaking information about Emily's case to the press?"

The older man shakes his head "we haven't found proof that any of my officers is the source of the leak, agent."

As she hears his words her anger comes back full force and she brings her left hand to her hip and her right hand points harshly against the table.

"That isn't good enough, detective. I was just sandbagged during my press conference because _someone_ in this office can't keep their damn mouth shut!" She slams her pointed finger against the table and leans forward aggressively.

"It isn't any of my people that means it's one of yours" she gestures to the bullpen outside of the room "so you go and you find out who is the leak and you fire him or her. Emily's life depends on us to solve this case and we don't need a nuisance distracting us. Thank you."

Detective Richardson merely nods and leaves the kitchen. He understands why she's so angry, and holds nothing against her.

JJ looks as if she'd just killed a man. She brings her hands up to her face and leans down against the countertop. She had never yelled at a detective who was just trying to help and work the case with them before.

"Jennifer you need sleep." Robert grabs her arms gently and pulls her up from the counter top. "None of you have slept in at least two days, go take a few hours. It's okay."

JJ begins to shake her head until Hotch walks into the room, he had seen the entire exchange.

"He's right, JJ. We're all running on low. After you eat the food Rossi and Garcia brought back have Rossi drive you back to the hotel. You, Garcia, and Rossi can sleep for a few hours and Derek, Reid, and I will take the first shift."

"But Hotch."

"Jennifer, that's an order."

Hotch holds her gaze until she eventually nods in defeat.

"Good. Now go get food from Rossi and Garcia, they've set up camp in the monitor room. Let me know before you leave."

JJ leaves the room without a word, feeling very much like a chastised child.

"There's food in there for you two as well." Hotch meets Roberts eye and the deputy director nods his gratitude. Maybe the storm between the two was calming.

* * *

 **So that's that. Next chapter we will get a better look at Emily because I feel like I've neglected the team for a bit and I needed to touch base with them. REVIEW PLS :)!**


	15. stripped

**I am back :) Thank you to loyal reviewers dauntlessfourever, zhangxinna, and Thalium. Zhangxinna you had very interesting ideas and I'm glad I'm getting you to think about the leak….. hehehehehehe. THE LEAK ;)…. And the plot thickens. Be patient my dear readers the answers will come very shortly (not this chapter but the next) also cant go too long without bringing up Ian doyle, I know their relationship wasn't "real" but damn it all to hell I LOVE THEM SO I AM SORRY. Also I only got three reviews on the last chapter….. I don't know if my writing is getting worse or if the story sucks or because I take too long to update (i am done w school so I can update faster)? I won't stop writing because of lack of reviews but it kind of sucks because I put my story that I work very hard on out here and… basically no one cares hahahahahaha ITS FINE IM FINE! *cue ross with margarita in hand* ….… No? Ok. Here's the story.**

* * *

 _Wind rustles through the grass as she walks through the field barefoot. The grass is soft beneath her feet and the sun warms her exposed skin._

 _She wears a simple white silky sundress covered in beautiful pink roses. The sundress hits a few inches above the knee. The cut is low, and the sleeves stop several inches above her elbow._

 _It flows in the breeze, as does her shoulder length light brown hair._

 _The sun is setting over the cliff and rich colors of pink and orange fill the beautiful Irish sky._

 _She can't recall ever feeling so at peace before. The rolling hills of Ireland always had that effect on her. They feel more like home than any other place ever had._

 _Ian owns a large mansion that sits on a cliff above the ocean. There is a winding path from the house to the sea, and Lauren finds herself taking it now. It's just a she remembers, as if she was walking down this slope just yesterday._

 _The sound of waves crashing against the cliff lulls her into a trance as she continues her descent toward the water._

 _A hand latches onto her shoulder and pulls her backward._

 _The peace she felt is gone at once and a panic like she had never experienced bubbles to the surface. Her muscles tense and she begins to clench her fists in anticipation._

 _"_ _It's alright love, it's just me."_

 _At once she relaxes into his touch and lets him wrap her in a comforting embrace._

 _Her back is pressed against his front and he loops his arm around the front of her neck as if he is going to choke her. Instead he simply rests his arm there and kisses the back of her head._

 _Lauren winds her arms up to wrap around his neck as they continue to look at the ocean. The breeze dances over their faces, and the scent of flowers is carried in the summer wind._

 _"_ _I wish I could just stay here forever." Her voice is like a song that carries across the wind. It is full of longing and desire._

 _Ian quickly untangles himself from her and spins her around gently. He brings his hands up to cradle her face carefully. "You know that can't happen, Lauren."_

 _Tears streak down her face and she brings her hands up to cover his own. "But why not?"_

 _"_ _Because it wasn't meant to be, darling. We weren't real. Lauren…. Isn't real."_

 _"_ _Don't you dare say we weren't real… I miss you too much for us to not have been real."_

 _"_ _I miss you too, Lauren. And I'm sorry love, it makes it easier. Easier to deal with the pain I feel from missing you." He kisses her forehead softly and then kisses the tears that streak down her cheeks._

 _They are silent for a few moments, the only sounds to be heard are the waves crashing below them._

 _"_ _Why can't I come back to you?"_

 _"_ _You can't come back to me, love. Lauren Reynolds isn't real."_

 _Emily looks to the ground as more tears pour down her face. "But it would be so easy to pretend to that she is real. I can be her, I can be Lauren Reynolds. It would be so easy…"_

 _"_ _Lauren Reynolds is dead."_

* * *

 _"_ Lauren Reynolds is dead."

Her eyes fly open as she finishes mumbling the sentence still half asleep. It had felt so real, so incredibly real. She had loved that mansion settled on the hills of costal Ireland.

 _Get your shit together, Emily._

If she fell into the comfort that Lauren brought her she may never fall out. Lauren was her protector, and if she gave into temptations she would never be Emily again. Only Lauren.

Emily physically shakes herself to get rid of that thought.

Pain begins to pulse throughout her entire body at the movement. Pain like she had never felt before.

The unsub had only administered 5 shocks before she had passed out from the pain. Her pain tolerance was high, however she hadn't eaten anything in days and the exhaustion quickly pulled her under.

A sound out of the corner of the room has her breath coming in short and her heart beating fast.

It's almost like a flip had been switched after her first round of electrocution. She could no longer hide her fear, it poured out of her in waves when she thought of him. A beating she could handle, and had handled before. But never had she been electrocuted.

"Hello, Emily. Glad to see you're still with us."

When she hears that damn voice she begins to involuntarily shake. Her body betrays her.

"What time is it?"

The unsub walks into her field of vision and her skin instantly begins to crawl with sheer disgust.

"Around six am, you've been out for two hours."

Emily doesn't say anything, simply continues to look up at the ceiling.

"I'm going to let you out."

"What?" Emily raises her head off of the table and turns it toward her captor far too quickly.

The unsub shakes his head slightly "No Emily, not out out. That was poor phrasing. I'm going to let your arms out so you can hold and eat a sandwich.

Emily drops her head back down onto the table below her and lets out a deep breath. "I don't want a fucking sandwich."

She really did, in fact she was starving. But there was no way she was going to admit that to him, no way that she was going to eat anything he gave her.

"Emily, come on now" he reaches a hand down to begin untying the leather strap around her left hand "don't be like that. Eat the sandwich, you need to keep up your strength."

"You didn't feed the other girls" she watches as he unties her left hand, adrenaline instantly coursing through her veins as she itches for freedom "why me?"

The unsub switches to her right hand "Because you're special. I have faith that you are going to last longer than all of the other ones. You will exceed my wildest dreams."

With both of the straps undone, the unsub grabs both of Emily's shoulders and helps her to sit up.

Black dots begin to dance in her vision as she sits up, her body practically too weak to hold itself up. She shakes as she sits up.

"Look at you, here eat this." The unsub leaves his left hand on Emily as he leans away to get the sandwich.

This is her chance.

As soon as he grabs the sandwich and stands up to give it to Emily a fist connects with his face and slams him to the ground.

The unsub crumbles to the ground and Emily wastes no time in working on the straps at her feet.

"Come on come on come on come on." Emily breathes as she undoes both straps with shaky hands.

Emily launches herself off of the metal table and her legs instantly give out, sending her tumbling to the ground.

 _Stupid fucking weak legs_

"Goddamnit Emily….." The unsub grabs onto his jaw as he begins to stand up.

His voice has her jumping off of the floor and running towards the barn doors.

Just as she reaches the handle the unsub grabs onto the red fabric clinging to her body and pulls, attempting to yank her back towards him.

The force of his pull has her stumbling backwards slightly while the red fabric comes off of her completely and ends bunched in his hand.

Emily screams as the fabric tears from her body and she's left in only her laced black bra and underwear.

Tears of embarrassment and fear threaten to fall from her eyes as she turns around and meets the unsub face to face. Her chest heaves in big breaths as she backs herself into the barn door.

"Well look at that… did you wear that just for me?" His eyes trail up and down her body, a sick hunger clouds his eyes.

She had never felt such fear as she did in this moment. Her eyes are wide and they dart back and forth between his.

"Please" she breathes "don't." Her voice is smaller than it ever had been before. This right here is her worst fear realized.

Emily Prentiss had never begged for anything in her entire life.

Without warning he latches onto her arm and roughly pulls her toward him, turning her as she comes. She ends with her back pressed to his front.

She trembles as he moves her hands up and down her body.

"Please don't." It's just a whisper.

When he doesn't answer she lets out a small, defeated whimper.

The unsubs left hand traces against her bottom lip slowly and then quickly moves to pull her hair roughly so that her head is pointed toward the ceiling.

A shriek of pain and surprise leaves her lips.

With quick movements the sandwich is brought to Emily's lips. She instantly tries to squirm away from it and fight back.

Who knows what's in the sandwich.

"Eat the fucking sandwich, it's just a sandwich!" Quickly growing agitated, the unsub yanks her hair back again.

Instinctively Emily opens her mouth to vocalize her pain and the unsub quickly shoves the entire sandwich into her mouth.

He clamps her jaw shut with his hands and throws her back against the table. Within seconds both of her arms are tied in again and he sits on stomach to hold her in place.

Begrudgingly Emily has to chew and swallow the sandwich before she suffocates to death on it.

As soon as she chokes down the sandwich the unsub removes his hands from her jaw and she gulps a breath of air that she had been deprived of.

After she catches her breath she feels his weight on top of her and she begins to panic. "If you're going to do this at least let me see your face. I need to see your face."

She did want to see his face, if he was going to violate her then she at least deserved to see it. But really she hoped that once he finally took off this damn mask they would be able to identify him and find her.

He seems to think about it for a moment.

With quick fingers he grips the bottom of his mask and pulls it off of his face.

His eyes are dark as is his hair, and Emily hates that she finds him slightly attractive. But with a large jaw and strong cheek bones it was impossible not to.

"Thank you. Now can you please get the fuck off of me before I punch you in the face, again." Somehow there was still fire inside her.

With a smile he leans in close until their noses are almost touching and Emily begins to start panicking again. "Don't worry it isn't time for that. Yet."

Without another word he climbs off of Emily and works on tying the straps at her feet.

Though his words were threatening with the future promise, Emily has never felt such relief. He wasn't going to rape her- yet.

Her team would find her before that happened, of that she was certain.

That relief diminished slightly as the unsub walked over to the machines and positioned his hand inches from the red button.

"Give up, Emily." His voice is soft, almost comforting. As if he was trying to lull her into submission.

It would be easy to give up, truly it would. She was strapped down to a table in her bra and underwear with only the promise of pain in her future.

Had she ever felt so vulnerable before?

"No."

And then she was met with that promise of pain.

* * *

The sun was just starting to really light up the sky and Derek was slowly losing faith that they would find where they were just hours ago.

It had been dark when they had encountered the unsub, and raining cats and dogs. It was going to be absolutely impossible to track down where they had been.

The canine unit was trailing ahead of them, and had been for the past few hours with absolutely no luck.

Nothing looked familiar, absolutely nothing.

They had also been searching for upwards of ten hours before, and had gotten very deep into the forest. The chances of them finding exactly the same spot after only walking a few hours were not good.

"Anything?" Reid jogs slightly to catch up to Dereks pace. The young genius had been in charge of the second search team that had gone in the opposite direction of the one Derek was in charge of.

After hours with no sign of life, Reid and the other officers had decided to turn around and regroup with the other search party.

The young mans sudden presence startles Derek out of his thoughts, and to Reids surprise Derek flinches slightly.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, kid. And no, we haven't found anything. We haven't found a single _fucking_ thing. Emily is still scared as hell and alone with that psychopath." Derek kicks a rock angrily and sends it flying across the forest floor.

"She know's were coming."

Derek whips his head to look over at Reid "does she?"

The two continue to walk behind the canines. It is silent for a few moments.

Derek turns his head from the genius and looks back ahead of him, shaking it as he walks.

"When Tobias Hankel abducted me I was scared. Actually no, I was terrified. The one thing that kept me even the slightest bit calm, that kept me alive was knowing that the team was going to find me. I knew you all were going to find me because we are the best at what we do. Emily knows we are going to find her."

Derek shakes his head and carefully steps over a log "Man normally I would agree with you, but we have absolutely nothing. We don't even know his name. The only thing we have is that they're somewhere in this massive fucking forest that would take years to search every inch of. What are the odds of that?"

"Well given the size of the forest…."

Derek whips his head to look at Reid and the younger man instantly stops talking. That was a "shut the fuck up" look if he had ever seen one.

"Agents" a young canine officer jogs towards the pair "Detective Richardson is on the phone, he wants to know how much longer we'll be out here searching for." The young officer holds the phone in his right hand and the dogs leash in his right. It's clear that he is asking how much longer they would like to keep looking for their friend, it's their call.

Derek looks at Reid and the two have a silent conversation.

"Tell him we'll start turning back now. If any officers would like to stay behind and continue searching that would be appreciated. Everyone else can come back with us and regroup with our team at the precinct."

The officer nods and turns away, bringing the phone to his ear as he begins to relay the message to his superior.

"Do you want to…." A shrill ring interrupts Reids words.

Derek lets out a sigh and grabs his phone from his pocket. He mouthes "it's Hotch" to Reid before putting it against his ear.

"Morgan."

 _"_ _Did you find anything?"_ Hotch's deep voice asks from his phone. There is a very small amount of hope in his voice.

"Nothing, but we knew the chances were slim. We're getting ready to start the trek back."

 _"_ _How long will it take for you to get back here?"_

Derek looks at his watch. It's 7:30 in the morning. "It took us three hours to get to where we are now so I'd say we'll get back to the precinct around 11:00."

" _Find me when you get back here and we'll go to the hotel and sleep for a few hours."_

"But Hotch…."

 _"_ _I don't like it either, Morgan but if we want to move forward in this case we need a few hours of sleep. It'll give us fresh eyes. JJ, Rossi, and Garcia have already taken a few hours._

"But Hotch….."

 _"_ _That's an order, Derek."_

Derek crosses his jaw and takes a few seconds to breathe "Yes, SIR." He hangs up the phone and angrily places it in his pocket. "Let's go Reid."

Without another word Derek turns around and storms off in the opposite direction.

Reid furrows his brow and jogs to catch up with the man. "I've noticed lately that you and Hotch have been fighting a lot more than usual. Is it because of your shared feelings of attraction for Emily?"

Derek stops dead in his tracks. "What did you just say?"

"I believe that you both have new feelings for Emily. You both stand closer to her and spend more time on average looking at her everyday than in the past. also….."

"Kid, you have no idea what you're talking about." Derek shakes his head and turns around to continue walking in the opposite direction.

"Do you love her?"

Derek turns around again with every intention of giving him a piece of mind but Reids eyes have him stopping. There's absolutely no judgement in them, just a gentle understanding and a small amount of pity.

"I think so."

Reid nods his head "I'm sorry, Derek. This must be very hard for you."

Derek softens and pats him on the shoulder lightly "it's hard on all of us. Now come on, let's go back."

* * *

JJ stares at the ceiling in her overly comfortable hotel bed, completely lost in thought. Something was bothering her, but she couldn't put her finger on it.

Obviously the fact that Emily was missing was on her mind. It was on her mind every second of every day since she had been taken.

But there was something else that she couldn't quite put her finger on. Until she did and it hit her like a bus.

The journalist.

He seemed so incredibly familiar. At first she had chalked it up to be something simple such as he was a regular reporter. But that didn't…. Feel right.

 _Who the fuck is he?_

No he wasn't a regular reporter, so who the hell was he? It's driving her absolutely insane. She was surprised she had managed any sleep.

The whole situation is completely aggravating.

After three hours, JJ had had enough down time. She felt absolutely worthless laying in this bed and not helping find her best friend.

Angrily JJ rips herself out of her bed and stomps into the bathroom.

The hotel that they were staying at was five starts. After Emily had been abducted the bureau had shelled out as much money as possible to make them feel better, that meant making them reservations as the best hotel in the area.

It was kind of a "sorry your best friend got abducted but here's a really nice hotel" kind of thing. Not really the kind of thing they wanted. They'd much prefer a "here's you best friend we found her she's safe" kind of thing.

Once she was in the bathroom she turned on the shower, she hadn't taken a shower in at least two days. She strips quickly, eager to feel hot water on her skin.

JJ steps into the shower and instantly feels more relaxed. She puts her face right into the spray of water and just stands there.

And then she starts to cry.

Emily wasn't taking a hot shower in a five start hotel. She was strapped to a table for electrocution in only her bra and underwear.

The tears mix with the shower water and go down the drain easily, as if they were nothing. When in fact they were filled with so much pain that they were weighed down like lead.

JJ sobs in the shower uncontrollably, gripping onto the side of the shower fall for support.

A knock sounds at the bathroom door.

"JJ, are you okay?"

 _Fuck_

"I'm fine, Garcia. I'll be out in a minute." Instinctively JJ begins wiping her tears until she realizes it doesn't matter.

The door opens anyway and Garcia closes it quickly behind her. "Kitten what's wrong."

"What do you think is wrong, Penelope?" JJ spits it out and regrets it the minute it leaves her tongue. "I'm sorry, Pen."

Garcia shakes her head, though JJ can't see it. "It's okay Jayje, we're all a little high-strung."

Tears fall down JJ's face.

Garcia walks up to the shower and turns around, sitting against the plastic rim. "I miss her. So much. But we will find her."

"How?" JJ cries out, bringing her chin down her chest in defeat.

"Because you're a bunch of kick ass crime fighting gods and goddesses and if anyone can find her it's you guys. Have faith, Jayje."

JJ laughs and sniffs "Isn't it usually my job to comfort you?"

"Usually" Garcia smiles as she plays with her hands in her lap "but Rossi just gave me a pep talk and I figured you could use one."

A more genuine laugh leaves JJ's lips. "I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

 **Thats that :) let me know how I did, I really appreciate reviews. In the next chapter SHIT GOES DOOOOOWN! If anyone can guess what happens / about the journalist I'll write a little one shot of their choice :) dauntlessfourever, zhangxinna, and Thalium I might write y'all one anyway cause you're so loyal :)) pm me and let me know if you want me to. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!**


	16. boom

**Hello my amazing readers! If you're like holy shit this is a fast update compared to the usual weeks that it takes me to update that's because im done school for the year so I can truly focus on this fic :) s/o to reviewers dauntlessfourever, Spooladio, PatternOfDarkness, Zhangxinna and Thalium! To answer some questions… no there will not be a huge fight between Derek and Hotch. I don't really like love triangles and the only reason there's one in this fic is because it started demily but now I'm in love with Hotch and Emily. Also I totally agree dauntlessfourever, it would be incredibly petty and not fit into into this story or even on the show. The little spats they get into are going to be it, they are too mature to fight like boys. A lot of you had really great ideas about the journalist. Also I completely fucked up in the last chapter. When JJ is in her hotel bed she thinks about how Emily lay strapped down to the table in only her bra and underwear….. timing wise that hasn't happened yet as we will flash back to that from JJ's point of view in this chapter so I am super sorry about that. Usually I do Emilys POV first, then the teams and have them doing something in the middle so the timing lines up and I confused it this time so so sorry. I am going back to fix it.**

* * *

After her mini meltdown in the shower, JJ had quickly gotten herself together and walked into the main part of the suite.

It is a gorgeous room, the presidential suite to be in fact. Each agent has their own room off of the main suite, expensive white couches and marbled surfaces fill the living room.

Fresh flowers sit on top of almost every surface, beautiful lilies and hydrangeas and daisies.

Rossi sits on one of the couches sipping from an overly expensive mug, Penelope sits across from him playing with her hands in her lap.

"Ready to go?" Rossi turns his head as the blonde walks into the room.

JJ shakes her head and plops down on the sofa. "No. I want to stay in this overly comfortable and extremely expensive suite forever. But we have to find Emily, I'm going crazy without her."

Rossi chuckles slowly and smiles sadly up at JJ "I know, kiddo. But we'll find her. Come on, let's go."

With a sigh JJ turns towards the door and within a few seconds Penelope is at her side comfortingly.

Since when had JJ been the one to need comforting instead of Penelope?

The trio drives to the precinct in silence. The silence is comfortable, no one feels the need to say anything.

When they arrive at the precinct it feels as if they've never left. Cops of all varieties swarm around the bullpen while the smell of stale coffee is ever present in the air.

"Home sweet home." Rossi looks over to JJ and Penelope. Penelope tries to smiles at them, it turns out as more of a grimace.

JJ chuckles but says nothing else, making her way to the kitchen on instinct. She needed coffee if she was going to be able to function.

The short nap had done her wonders, but nothing helped her quite like coffee did.

Penelope follows the blonde, but stills once she passes the victim board. No one had bothered to take it down or move it, even though the team never congregated out here anymore.

She misses Emily more than she previously thought possible. She had gotten used to the feeling of emptiness, and she absolutely hated it.

For the first few hours she had cried and cried and cried over her friend. She had let herself feel every emotion so that hopefully she could get herself together and focus after she let all of her feelings out.

And it had worked for hours and hours, actually much longer than she thought it would. But now she was feeling all of the emotions again and she wasn't strong enough to hold them down and compartmentalize, not like Emily was.

Her picture stares back at Penelope. She looks so happy in the photograph.

They had been at a bar when the picture was taken. They had finished a case and flown home just in time to get a few drinks and release some of the built up tension. It was a Friday night so the bars were packed and incredibly loud. JJ had made some joke about the guy who had just tried to hit on Emily, unsuccessfully, and the blonde had snapped the picture right as Emily started to laugh. They had been pretty intoxicated, though you can't tell in the picture.

It was a beautiful picture and an even more beautiful memory.

Garcia smiles as she thinks about how much fun that night was, how intoxicated they all had gotten. And then her eyes widen as she thinks of something.

"Are you thinking about Emily?" Rossi asks from right beside her. She had been so caught up in her train of thought that she hadn't even heard him settle next to her.

Garcia turns away from the board and looks at the older man. "I'm always thinking about Emily. But actually, I think I know a way to identify the unsub." She begins to walk quickly to her closet lair.

Rossi follows without a word, confusion written across his face. He would ask her what she was thinking about but then she would get distracted and lose her train of thought.

The door is slammed open and Garcia sits down at her computers at once.

"Each bottle of alcohol is tagged with an individual pin."

"To keep track of it." Rossi nods as Garcia's fingers begin to fly across the keyboard. He didn't quite understand what she was getting at.

Hotch walks into the room, after hearing the door slam against the wall. "Is everything okay?"

"To keep track of it yes, but more importantly to tag the individual who bought it" Garcia brings up an image from the barn and immediately begins to zoom in "if I can see the pin number I can run it through a program and find out who purchased it."

"Even if the individual payed in cash?" Hotch asks, quickly catching onto what was happening.

"Even if they payed in cash he still had to prove he was over twenty one with an ID, the pin number on the bottle would then be tied to his name."

"Unless he wasn't carded, stole the bottle, or used a fake ID."

Garcia nods and turns back to the men standing behind him "It's possible that he did any of those things, but the only reason I knew about this was because it's a way to track individuals. Let's hope our genius stopped using his brain for a few minutes."

A still image is brought up of Emily and the unsub. He has a hand around the bottle of vodka and the other hand in Emily's hair, forcing her head back.

Garcia shudders as she looks at the image but she has a job to do. Using this disturbing image was her best chance at making out the pin number. With fast fingers Garcia zooms in on the bottle and lets out a shriek. "There's the pin number."

Another program is brought up on the screen and Garcia enters the long serial number from the bottle.

"How long will the search take Garcia?"

"Give it a few minutes, sir."

Five minutes later and nothing had happened.

"Garcia….."

And just like that, the computer makes a sound and a name pops up on the screen.

"We've got him."

* * *

JJ leaves the kitchen with a mug of coffee in her hand and makes her way to the monitor room, moving the coffee mug back and forth between her hands. Someone had made the coffee extremely hot and she can't stand the heat for more than a few seconds in one hand before she has to shift it to the other.

Carefully the blonde opens the door to the monitor room and quickly shuts it behind her, shifting the cup of coffee to her other hand immediately after the door is closed.

"Coffee too hot?"

"It's the worst. I can feel it singeing off my finger prints." JJ rushes to the table against the back of the room and places the cup down. Remnants of their last meal still remain on the table.

After the coffee is placed on the table JJ turns back around and moves to stand next to her boss. "How is she doing?"

"Good" he nods "she's been asleep since you left."

"Where are Elizabeth and Robert?"

"I sent them home shortly after you left. Robert didn't really put up a fight, I think he was worried about how the ambassador was doing."

JJ nods "He's always very compassionate with her, Emily too. She never told me why they wanted a divorce, they always seemed to click when I was around."

 **BANG**

Both agent's heads turn to the hallway as the sound echoes throughout the small room.

"I better go see what that was." Hotch nods at JJ and swiftly walks out of the room, leaving her alone to watch over Emily.

JJ checks her watch, it's just before six.

Mere minutes go by before a quiet _"Lauren Reynolds is dead"_ is heard from the monitors.

JJ furrows her brow as she instinctively steps closer to the screens.

The sleep talking had woken Emily up. She had said that someone was dead, but that isn't what seemed to bother her. Her facial features were sad yes, but almost as if she missed the dream and not the person.

At the sound of her waking up, the unsub walks into the barn and quickly locks the door behind him.

JJ curls her lip in disgust at the sight of him.

 _"_ _Hello, Emily. Glad to see you're still with us."_

 _"_ _What time is it?"_

The unsub steps into her line of vision and Emily begins to fight the desire to draw back away from him. JJ frowns at the screen. It appeared that Emily's body had started to develop an instinctual fear of him. It wasn't surprising, but it made Emily's chances of keeping a level head decrease significantly.

 _"_ _Around six am, you've been out for two hours."_

Emily doesn't answer.

 _"_ _I'm going to let you out."_

JJ and Emily both sputter a confused "what" At the same time.

 _No Emily, not out out. That was poor phrasing. I'm going to let your arms out so you can hold and eat a sandwich."_

JJ's heart drops at the loss of hope she had just felt mere seconds before. Anything at all could be in that sandwich, and that was dangerous.

 _"_ _I don't want a fucking sandwich."_

There was no way she wasn't hungry, but JJ recognized her train of thought because she had the same one. If there was a drug in that sandwich it greatly decreases her chance of escaping, of putting up a fight at all really.

 _"_ _Emily, come on now don't be like that. Eat the sandwich, you need to keep up your strength."_

As he talks he works at untying the straps around her left hand and JJ's heart begins to pound faster in anticipation. This was a perfect time to try and escape. She knows she should call out for the rest of the team but they could be doing something important, and in all honesty she was paralyzed watching the scene unfold in front of her.

 _"_ _You didn't feed the other girls, why me?"_ Her eyes dart to her newly freed hand.

 _"_ _Because you're special. I have faith that you are going to last longer than all of the other ones. You will exceed my wildest dreams."_

The unsub grabs onto her shoulders and helps her into a sitting position.

It breaks JJ's heart to see Emily's body shake from exertion from the simple task of sitting up. It made sense though, the constant rushes of adrenaline paired with the little food and water she had had as well as the abuse. Her body was simply exhausted.

It squashes the hope JJ had felt for another escape attempt from her friend.

 _"_ _Look at you, here eat this."_ He bends down to get the sandwich, and the second he is upright and turned to face Emily she punches him right in the cheek.

JJ lets out a startled gasp as the unsub falls to the ground.

With Emily's limited field of vision while laying down she hadn't seen him lock the door, but JJ had and it broke her heart knowing there was no way out of those doors without a key.

The second Emily's legs touch the ground she collapses.

" _Goddamnit Emily….."_

With a strength JJ didn't know she had, Emily jumped at his words and raced to the door. She had just gotten to the handles when he attempted to pull her back.

Instead of pulling her back he pulled her flimsy dress off, and JJ pales at Emily's scream as she is left in only her bra and underwear.

Out of habit JJ brings her hands up to cover her mouth out of shock.

Emily backs herself into the barn door, bringing her hands to try and cover the front of her.

 _"_ _Well look at that… did you wear that just for me?"_

JJ fights the urge to throw up as his eyes move up and down her body entirely too hungrily.

 _"_ _Please" she breathes "don't."_

Without a word he latches onto her arm and pulls her into him.

 _"_ _Please don't."_ She whispers, and then she lets out a defeated whimper as his hands move up and down her body.

Tears prick JJ's eyes and she forces herself to continue looking at the screen instead of facing away from it. She was the only one in here, so she had no choice but to continue to watch. No matter what happened next.

 _"_ _Eat the fucking sandwich, it's just a sandwich!"_

With quick movements the unsub forces her head back, shoves the sandwich into her mouth, and throws her onto the table while tying the straps around her hands again.

He sits on her stomach to hold her in place as she chokes on the sandwich, finally being forced to eat it if she wished to breathe.

" _If you're going to do this at least let me see your face. I need to see your face."_

Despite the situation JJ finds herself smirking. Always thinking of what the team needed, Emily wanted him to remove his mask so they could run his face through facial recognition.

The unsub grabs the mask under his chin and pulls it off completely.

JJ is thankful that she had put her mug of coffee down, otherwise she would have definitely dropped it. A gasp leaves her lips as she walks closer to the screens, standing mere inches away.

It was him, the journalist. Well no, it wasn't exactly him, but it was most definitely a relative. The two had the same dark eyes and hair, the same facial structure, the only difference between the two is the unsubs crooked nose that Emily had given him.

 _"_ _Thank you. Now can you please get the fuck off of me before I punch you in the face, again."_

He smiles as he leans down into her comfort zone to intimidate her _"Don't worry it isn't time for that. Yet."_ He climbs off of her and ties the straps at her feet before going back to the machine.

JJ stills at the word yet….. so they were right about what would eventually happen.

 _"_ _Give up, Emily."_

 _"_ _No."_

He presses the button and Emily's body lifts slightly with the pain, but she doesn't make a sound. She grits her teeth visibly and makes fists with her tied down hands.

"Oh my god, I have to tell someone I have to…." JJ turns to the door and as soon as she takes her first step it is opening quickly.

Hotch, Garcia, and Rossi walk quickly into the room.

"We've got him."

JJ had opened her mouth to tell them her news but instantly stopped when she heard the words "what? How? Let's go!"

Hotch looks to the screens when the sound of the unsub pressing the button fills the room. "What the hell happened?" He steps up to the screens as he realizes Emily is left in only her bra and underwear.

It felt too intimate to see her like this without her permission, and he looks away out of discomfort and courtesy.

"He undid her arms so she could eat a sandwich and keep up her strength. She decked him and got out of her leg restraints and ran to the door. He grabbed onto her and accidentally ripped the dress off. He then forced her to eat the sandwich and got her back into the restraints. He insisted that it was just a sandwich and I believe him, I don't think there's anything in it. He _cares_ about her too much to drug her." She left out the more gruesome aspects of the encounter for Hotch's sake.

Hotch whips his head to look JJ in the eyes "And he took his mask off? Why the hell didn't you come get us?"

"Aaron." Rossi warns.

"Hotch there's supposed to be someone in this room at all times, if I had left to get you that would have broken his rules and Emily would pay the price. Also…." JJ fumbles for the right way to say it.

"What, JJ?"

"If we don't get there in time he is going to rape her, he confirmed it."

The air is knocked out of everyone in the room.

"You found him, how?" JJ tries desperately to divert the attention from the last words she had spoken, though they still linger heavily in the air.

Hotch crosses and uncrosses his jaw, unable to talk through his anger. Rossi notices and steps towards JJ, drawing her attention.

"Garcia was able to get the ID off of the bottle of vodka he forced her to drink. His name is Thomas Young, 47, and he has a house in Adamstown."

"Siblings?"

Rossi gives her a look "One brother, Patrick Young. There isn't anything about these boys except for their names. Everything else is wiped clean.

JJ turns around and points at the unsub on the screens "I'd bet anything that that's Patrick Young and he sent his brother to get the alcohol so his name didn't come up. Does anyone remember the reporter who sandbagged me at both press conferences?"

"Thomas Young?"

"It has to be, we can run a picture from the press conference and a picture from Garcia's computer through recognition software but I'm telling you that journalist is Thomas Young and our unsub on camera is Patrick Young. We profiled that he would get involved in the case somehow, looks like he left it to his brother."

On screen he hits the button again and once again Emily doesn't make a sound as her body is flushed with pain.

"Are Derek and Reid still in the woods? We don't have time to wait for them."

"I'll call Derek." Hotch turns away and brings his cell phone to his ear. After a few rings the younger agent picks up.

 _"_ _Morgan."_

"Did you find anything?"

 _"_ _Nothing, but we knew the chances were slim. We're getting ready to start the trek back."_

"How long will it take for you to get back here?"

 _"_ _It took us three hours to get to where we are now so I'd say we'll get back to the precinct around 11:00."_

"Find me when you get back here and we'll go to the hotel and sleep for a few hours."

 _"_ _But Hotch…."_

"That's an order, Derek."

 _"_ _Yes, SIR."_

Hotch puts his phone back in his pocket and meets Rossi's skeptical eye.

"They're deep in the woods and won't be out for hours. If I tell them now they'll still be three hours deep in woods that they can't get out of.

Rossi nods and says nothing.

"Garcia did you send…"

"Sent the address the moment I found it, sir."

"Good. Stay here and watch the screens, we'll be back as soon as we can. WITH Emily."

Garcia nods and watches her friends walk out the door.

* * *

The drive took about ten minutes with Hotch behind the wheel and the sirens blaring. Three cop cars trail behind them.

Hotch turns off the siren a minute away from the driveway. He looks over to Rossi in the passenger seat and they both share a silent nod. Hotch looks to JJ in the back seat, and she too nods silently.

Without needing a verbal nudge, Rossi puts his arm behind him and latches onto the bullet proof vest as soon as JJ placed it into his hand.

They hadn't taken the time to suit up at the station, they were too eager to go and raid the house. Only Hotch had put his bullet proof vest on because he knew he would be driving.

Rossi's hand goes back to its palm up position until JJ places his ear piece into it.

At once he positions it into his ear and nods back at Hotch when both he and JJ are situated.

53 baker street looms just up ahead. The driveway is shaded with trees on both sides and it curves sharply to the left hiding the house from sight. There is a sharp incline just before the turn of the driveway.

Hotch turns the headlights off as well, and begins the slow creep up the driveway. If they spook him he could slit her throat and run before they ever had a chance of catching him.

The cop cars behind them follow suit, and in seconds they are all creeping quietly up the hill. It would be easier if it were night, but they couldn't do anything about that.

Blood pumps in Hotch's ear and his knuckles turn white as he grips the steering wheel harder the closer they get up the driveway.

A house peaks out from behind the hill. It is old and exactly the kind of house you expected to see in the middle of the woods. Though not run down it wasn't exactly in nice shape either.

The house was rustic and had a log cabin feel.

Hotch pulls the car to a stop and instantly hops out, barley shutting the door behind him.

JJ and Rossi fall in line behind him. Silently they march to the front door.

It is Hotch who reaches for the handle, and is surprised when it opens easily under his touch. He opens the door slowly and only enough so that a person can squeeze through the entrance.

The house is silent, dust coats every surface pointing to the misuse. The furniture is exactly like the outside of the house, not overly nice but not awful either.

 _Something doesn't make sense, something isn't right_

JJ shakes her thoughts away and motions with her head that she'll head upstairs. And just like how it went downstairs, she found absolutely nothing.

"Anything?" Rossi asks as the blonde makes her way down the stairs.

JJ shakes her head and throws up her hands in annoyance "nothing."

"Rossi and I cleared the basement too, there's no-one here, there hasn't been in some time."

"Something doesn't make sense" JJ begins as she shakes her head "they were able to wipe every trace of themselves off of the internet but somehow left the address to this house? I know Garcia did some digging but…."

A uniform comes walking quickly into the house. "Agents, there's a barn at the very back of the property."

Without waiting all three agents move quickly towards the front door.

The uniform was right, at the very back corner of the property stood a massive barn.

With their target in sight they raise their guns and run swiftly to the entrance.

When they approach the doors Hotch and Rossi go to the left side while JJ goes to the right side.

Hotch looks to JJ with a silent "you ready?"

JJ nods and seconds later Hotch kicks open the door.

 _Something doesn't make sense_

Her mind echoes once more before Hotch takes the first step into the barn and everything around them stills momentarily as a singular warning sound echoes throughout the empty room.

"Hotch!" JJ yells and tries to pull him back before they're all tossed into the air like rag dolls as the trip wire is triggered and several bombs go off.

* * *

 **Sooooo yeah, I was gonna make the unsub the journalist from the first chapter I featured him but I wanted to make it more obvious than only talking about him twice but then I made it TOO obvious and ta da a brother is born :) review PLS I love to hear your feedback xoxo also the alcohol tag thing is REAL and I just found out about it. Review :)))**


	17. aftermath

**Aaaaand we back. Thank you to daunlessfourever, thalium, zhangxinna, and PatternofDarkness for your reviews! They really keep me going and make me happy. I would love more of them, but hey I'm not complaining. I didn't mean to leave you guys on such a cliff hanger for so long, sorry to keep you guys waiting a bit I'm going through some things.**

* * *

Before he even opens his eyes he knows something is wrong. His entire body feels stiff and broken. A sticky substance coats the side of his face, and there is a sharp ringing in his ears that monopolizes his hearing.

Hesitantly he cracks one eye open and instantly shuts it. The harsh sunlight is too much for his fragile eyes, and a pounding headache makes itself known before he can even shut his eye.

His body begins to gently lull him back into unconsciousness. It would be easy to slip into the comforting nothingness that sleep would give him. His body is screaming for it after the injuries he suffered and the lack of sleep he's had.

Just before he manages slip into bliss he smells it, and despite the pain it has him bolting upright into a sitting position.

Smoke.

Something very close to him is on fire.

The quick motion has him fighting for control over his own body so he doesn't empty the contents of his stomach right on his lap.

 _A concussion, fucking wonderful._

As he looks at the scene around him he is shocked at the carnage he sees. Smoke bellows from the burning barn while pieces of it remain ablaze.

The blast had thrown him a good ten feet back.

It's eerily quiet, the only sound heard by Hotch is the ringing in his ears.

He reaches a slow hand up to feel the side of his face. He pulls back his hand and is not surprised to see blood coating his fingertips. Not an amount that should have him worried, but enough that he needs to be careful.

 _Dave_

 _JJ_

Hotch whips to his left and sees Dave slowly starting to stir a few feet from him. With strength he didn't know he possessed, the unit chief gets to his feet quickly and makes his way over to Dave.

His footing is beyond sloppy, and Hotch stumbles over to his friend before falling to his knees in front of the older man.

"Dave?"

He can't hear his own voice over the ringing in his ears and it scares him. After all the past damage to his ears and now this, there was a serious threat of losing his hearing for good.

The older man opened his eyes and locks eyes with Hotch. There is no shortage of life in those dark eyes.

Hotch grabs onto his shoulders and gently helps him to sit up, painstakingly slow in case he had broken anything in his body.

"Are you hurt?" He recognizes that he is shouting but it is necessary for them both to hear.

Smoke engulfs the pair as the fire starts to diminish and is fed on mainly ash instead of wood. The cloud is as thick as it is white and it stings both of their eyes and burns their lungs.

Dave shakes his arms and his legs before giving Hotch a pained nod. "I'm fine, find JJ."

Hotch gives him a good look over before finally nodding and getting to his unsteady feet once again. He hated to leave him in search of JJ.

Faraway shouts can be heard now. The type of shouts that are the definition of pure chaos and can be heard after any big disaster. The kind of shouts that means people are hurt, or a lot worse.

The smoke around them continues to build until Hotch can barley see a foot in front of him. They were so close to the barn that it was all encompassing.

He almost trips over her body, it is sprawled awkwardly and probably uncomfortably against the ground. Limbs going every which way expect how they naturally should.

His stomach drops at the sight.

The sound of Dave coughing behind him reaches his ears and he turns around to point in the opposite direction. "Get out of this smoke, I've got JJ."

Hotch turns back to JJ and falls at her side. "JJ? JJ can you hear me?" Carefully he places his hands under the back of her head and cradles it upward.

His hands freeze as he feels it and removes his hands carefully.

blood.

His hands are coated in her blood. There's so much blood.

 _Fuck_

Hotch gets even closer to her and begins to gently shake her shoulders. "JJ, JJ can you hear me? JJ? Jennifer, you need to wake up now. Jennifer wake up."

Her face remains peacefully blank and her body unmoving as he continues to shake her.

"God damnit JJ I swear to god if you die Emily is going to kill you. I am going to kill you. We'll all kill you." Hotch stands on shaky legs and moves his left arm under her lower back and his right arm under her head.

Ungracefully he gets to his feet and walks quickly out of the smoke that surely wasn't helping. It was dangerous to move her he knew, she could have a spinal injury and could be making it much worse. However sitting in the smoke wasn't allowing her to breathe.

She could survive a spinal injury, she couldn't survive without any oxygen.

Rossi stands fifteen feet away from the smoke, watching the chaos unfold around him. There was a bomb in the house too, the structure reduced to a mere foundation that continues to burn with ferocity.

One woman officer is crying as she tries to run into the burning building to look for her beau. Another officer holds her back as she continues to fight to go into the building.

There we certainly no survivors in the house.

Other officers are staring blankly at the fire, shock preventing them from doing anything else.

He wants to go and help but he can't leave until he knows his family is safe. They are his main priority.

Coughing draws his attention back to the direction of the barn.

Hotch walks out of the smoke slowly, carrying a very limp JJ in his arms. Her head lulls back as if there is no life left in her body.

It's a scene out of a horror movie, and one Dave knows will never leave his mind.

Hotch hurries out of the smoke as fast as he can, trying to prevent his legs from giving out while carrying the blonde. Once he puts a good distance between them and the barn he drops to his knees and lays JJ gently on the ground.

Dave goes on the other side of the blonde and feels for a pulse.

 _No_

 _no no no no it's not fair it's not fucking fair_

 _Wait_

"There's a pulse, it's weak but it's there."

Hotch drops his head back in a silent thank you to whoever was listening. A strangled breath coming out of his lips as he feels relief flood his every thought.

The distant sound of sirens vibrates off of the trees and joins the mixture of sounds with soft cries and the crackling of fire.

"JJ, can you hear me?"

The air stills around them.

Rossi bows his head.

And then.

JJ coughs. She lets out the biggest, deepest, most painful cough either of them had ever heard. They had never heard such a beautiful sound.

After she catches her breath, the blonde looks around with wild eyes "what happened?" JJ instinctively tries to sit up but both Rossi and Hotch push her back down on the ground.

"Don't try and move JJ, not until the ambulance gets here."

She looks annoyed at the command but doesn't argue.

"There was a trip wire. It triggered a bomb in the barn and probably several in the house. But it's okay, you're going to be okay."

JJ bursts into tears suddenly and shakes her head feverishly. "Nothing is okay, everything is so far from okay."

Rossi strokes her hair softly "I know JJ, but…"

"No" JJ cuts off while tears still streak down her face and her head continues to shake "you don't know anything. I can't feel my legs. Why can't I feel my legs?"

* * *

He shocks her ten more times. Each time he turns up the voltage slightly to inflict even more pain than she knew possible.

After the eleventh time her body falls back onto the table and she lets out a choked breath. She doesn't know how much more she can take of this.

"Give up."

A few tears leak out of her eyes and fall down her face but her gaze is hardened and her jaw is clenched. She isn't crying, the tears instantly prick her eyes from the pain. If she had it her way they wouldn't fall at all.

Instead of verbally saying no she shakes her head, not trusting her voice. It would most likely come out raspy and weak and she fears that if she opens her mouth she'll scream and cry. There is no way she's giving him the satisfaction.

He sighs, his brown eyes crazy and full of curiosity. What keeps her going for so long? Why hasn't she given up yet?

She had been beaten and electrocuted dozens of times, she lays in only her bra and underwear, yet she still remains strong and proud. Her face never cracks from it's hard and angry mold. She posses a strength he didn't have, and it made him admire her and envy her all at once.

The unsub moves his hand to the button once again.

Emily swallows and squeezes her body in anticipation. Each time he presses that damn button she felt her resolve wavier more and more. If they didn't get here soon…..who knows what would happen.

Before he can press the button however, the barn door flies open.

Both the unsub and Emily whip their heads in the direction.

Hope like she had never felt before clouds her every sense and despite her condition she smiles, her team had found her.

However, she feels like she has just been hit by a bus when the person steps closer and she realizes it isn't her team, but most likely the unsubs brother.

"What the actual fuck? Seriously what in the fuck is going on?" Her eyes widen as she takes in the other brother. They had not believed he had a partner, let alone a sibling.

Neither brother answers her.

It's as if the world is somehow darker than it was only seconds ago. She lulls her head back down against the table and pain radiates from her body. Only this time the pain isn't from any of her broken bones, it's from her heart.

 _They're never coming for me_

 _I'm going to die here_

 _Should I just get it over with?_

 _Should I give up?_

Oblivious to the dark thoughts swirling in his captives brain, the unsub steps away from the machine and walks quickly to his brother.

The two look eerily similar, and it disgusts Emily to be in the same room with more than one of them. But maybe….. just maybe she could convince the brother to let her go.

He looks hesitant to be here, and he was avoiding her general direction like his life depended on it. He stands just inside the door, wringing his hands nervously in front of him.

"What are you doing in here? I told you never to disturb me while I'm working." The unsubs voice bellows in the small barn as he stops in front of his brother angrily.

"They know who we are."

"Who?"

"Her team." The brother nods towards me but once again keeps his eyes form my direction.

"What? How do you know this?"

"They triggered the trip wire in the barn at the other house. To even find that house they'd have to know our names."

The unsub blows out a breath and rubs his hands over his face. "Ok, that's ok. We knew it was a possibility they would figure out who we were, that's why we wired that house. Were the cameras still functional?"

The brother nods "yes, it appears that there were no survivors in the house but her team that went out to the barn all survived, though the pretty blonde looks seriously injured."

"You fucking son of a bitch!" At the mention of her team team Emily begins to thrash against her restraints. It made her feel better to know that her team was alive, but if JJ was hurt there would be hell to pay. "You hurt my team and I'll kill you myself!" She bares her teeth and all but growls at the pair of brothers, though her anger is directed at her torturer alone.

If there was a possibility that she could convince the brother to let her go, she can't act like she feels he is responsible for this. She must treat him different from his brother.

The unsub ignores her "So what you're telling me is that her team is alive and still looking for her? And they know who we are and are probably really fucking mad we blew them up?"

The brother nods while he looks at his feet.

Without any warning the unsub turns and slams against the button.

Emily hadn't been ready for it, was still lashing against her restraints, so she lets out a scream against her will.

He holds his hand on the button longer than he usually does, and Emily can feel the life beginning to leave her.

Black dots dance in her vision as the strength leaves her body and she begins to sink back down on the table, despite the electric current still going through her body.

"Patrick!" The brother yells from somewhere far away it seems "You're going to kill her if you don't stop! stop!"

She can hear a struggle but she can't see it, her vision darkening and her body beginning to relax.

 _So this was it. This is what dying feels like._

Her life doesn't flash before her eyes as she thought it would which upsets her greatly. It was another chance to see her team again, to see Aaron again, and she was robbed of it.

As quickly as the life left her body, it begins to return again. Slowly her vision clears and she can just make out the unsub leaving the barn, leaving the brother behind.

"Are you okay?" The brothers voice sounds a million miles away as she blinks several times to clear her eyesight.

She had been so close to death, so close to never feeling pain again, so close to never seeing her loved ones again. She can't decide if she's upset about still being alive or is she's happy. To be honest she's neutral about it. It should scare her, but it doesn't.

"Are you okay?"

He stands right by her side, his face close to hers. His voice prominent now that she's farther away from deaths doorstep.

"Does it fucking look like I'm okay? What kind of question is that?"

He looks ashamed as he backs away from her and wrings his hands in front of him again. "I'm sorry."

Emily forces her face soften "it's okay, I know it isn't your fault. What is your name? My name is Emily." She puts all of her strength in pretending to feel okay, like she hadn't almost just died.

"Thomas" he says hesitantly, "my name is Thomas."

Emily smiles "nice to meet you, Thomas. Listen I don't know you and I know you don't know me, but I think we could grow to be friends. Don't you?"

"I guess so."

"Well I know so. Friends don't let other friends suffer, do they?"

"No….. they don't."

"That's right" Emily shakes her head "the truth is I'm suffering right now, Thomas. I need your help, will you help me?"

"I can't I'm sorry…. I owe him this."

"You owe him what?" Emily tries to keep her tone light and friendly but it was hard. All he had to do was let her go and all of this would be over, but he wouldn't and she hated him for it.

"You." He says simply.

"Wha….What?" Emily sputters, completely blind sighted by what he had said.

Before she can question him further he steps back away from her, putting a large space between the two.

The barn door opens seconds later and the unsub walks back in. He immediately walks over to Emily, setting a tray down on top of the machine. "I lost my temper for a bit, didn't I? I promise it won't happen again."

Emily says nothing, simply stares at him with anger burning in her eyes. She didn't bother looking at the tray, she wasn't about to eat another sandwich.

"It seems as if the electrocution has no effect on you. You won't give in, you won't show a hint of weakness. We will move onto the next phase." He moves from her side to the tray and picks up the object on it. "Thomas, you can leave."

Without another word the brother rushes quickly out the door, catching sight of what he had in his hand.

A shiver so strong travels up her body and she begins to shake when she lays eyes on the knife. It is sharp and long, and it has her shaking uncontrollably.

"Do you use a big knife to make up for the fact that you have a small penis?" The words leave her mouth before she even realizes it, the agent in her still working around the clock to get her out of here. If she can unravel him and mess with his brain enough, he may devolve enough that she can get him to reveal where they are unintentionally.

He stills his movements, and a flash of anger crosses his face. "What did you say?"

"I'm just saying, you could have used a much sharper and smaller knife that would probably be more efficient. But you chose a big knife to conceal your insecurity about your man hood."

The unsub visibly grits his teeth for a few seconds, before relaxing his jaw and shaking his head. "Nice try, Emily."

He crosses to her and the panic and fear radiates from her body in waves.

"Usually I untie my girls at this point, I like to watch them stumble and try and fight. However I don't trust you, so I am going to leave you tied down."

He trails the knife from her left clavicle to the middle of her chest, and then down her stomach and her legs.

Goosebumps appear whenever the cold metal touches. Her stomach is in knots and her heart is beating faster than it ever had before. She was so afraid she could barley move.

"Where do you want me to cut first?"

"You're leaving me tied down because you know I could overpower you again. You never really had a chance to feel confident though, did you? After your mother it was impossible, wasn't it?"

Anger vibrates off of him, but he keeps his jaw clenched and doesn't say anything. Instead he moves the knife back up to her right arm and plunges it in. He carves the knife down her arm.

Emily whimpers loudly in unbearable pain as the knife goes into her arm and slices down it. Blood pours out of the wound immediately. Not enough to kill her, but enough to weaken and scare her.

With his past victims he just stabbed them, it appeared he was changing it up with her.

She had been stabbed before, so she was expecting the same pain when he first showed her the knife. However she had never been sliced before, carved like an animal.

Black spots dance in her vision and she welcomes them, though she knows he won't let her die. But at least if she was unconscious she wouldn't feel the pain.

The unsub grabs a towel from the other side of the barn and brings it back, patting the wound down her arm roughly to keep her from bleeding out.

Emily's breathes are shallow and quick, pain clouding every thought, every sense, every movement.

"Give up, Emily."

"…..no."

He moves to the left side, creating the same cut down her left arm.

Thankfully this time, she does pass out from the pain.

* * *

Derek and Reid run into the hospital, completely ignoring the several nurses and doctors who shout at them to slow down.

They run straight to the information desk and get the attention of the nurse currently at said desk.

"Can I help you?"

"I need to know exactly where Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, and Jennifer Jareau are right this second."

"Sir I can't give out patient information….."

Derek rips his badge and credentials out of his pocket and slams them on the counter. "I'm with the FBI, if you don't tell me where those agents are in the next five seconds I'll charge your ass with obstruction of justice. Do you really want that to happen?"

The young nurse looks up and looks over to Reid, trying to gage if the older agent was serious.

Reid nods and produces his credentials as well, though less hostile than Derek had.

The nurse nods and steps over to the nearest computer. Within seconds she has the information they need. "Aaron Hotchner and David Rossi were given check ups and discharged, Jennifer Jareau is currently in surgery. Third floor left wing."

Without another word the pair of agents are off and running once again through the hospital hallways.

They find Hotch and Rossi sitting in the third floor waiting room.

"What the hell happened?" Derek storms in their direction and doesn't wait from them to get up before getting in their faces.

"Garcia tracked the unsub from the pin on the vodka bottle to a farm house in Adamstown. There was no one in the house and when we entered the barn it set off a trip wire. JJ got thrown the farthest, the doctor said the nerves at her lower back were disrupted. They rushed her off to surgery before telling us anything else."

"And you didn't think to tell us any of this before you left for the house?"

Hotch stands and pushes Derek back slightly, not in a confrontational way but in a gentle and comforting way. "Morgan it wouldn't have mattered. You and Reid couldn't have made it in time and I didn't want you worrying while you were stuck hours deep in a forest. I made a call and I stand by it."

"Wouldn't have….. wouldn't have mattered? Man how can you look me in the face and tell me it wouldn't have mattered?" Derek's voice is filled with emotion as he points to the doors leading to the surgical suites "she's my family in there and you left us clueless in the middle of the woods. Don't you tell me it wouldn't have mattered."

Without waiting for Hotch to respond, Derek walks away from his boss and places his hands on top of his head.

"Derek, Reid there's more."

"What?" He snaps as he whips his head in Rossi's direction.

The older man softens his tone "Garcia called, he's moved on from electrocution to using the a knife."

Reid drops into the nearest chair and rubs his face with his hands.

Before anyone can answer the large metal door opens and a doctor in a surgical gown steps forward. "Jennifer Jareau."

At once everyone is on their feet and rushing to the doctor.

She is in her mid thirties with pretty red hair and bright blue eyes. The usual exhaustion that lingers on a surgeons face after surgery isn't present, and it has Hotch checking the time and frowning.

She's only been in surgery for a little less than four hours.

"I'm doctor Montgomery" she shakes everyones hand "the surgery was surprisingly simple and quick. There's a sack at the bottom of the spinal cord that contains almost all of the nerves on your lower back. The force of the explosion was so powerful that the sack ruptured, but not so powerful that any nerves were harmed."

"What does that mean, is she paralyzed?" Derek didn't want to hear all the specifics, he just wanted to know if she's okay.

Her eyes are understanding and she doesn't seem to mind the curt interruption "the sack of nerves had just barley ruptured, and all it required was a simple suture. We don't like to make predictions on spinal injuries but her odds look very good at making a full recovery. We've placed her in room 32 just around the corner, you are welcome to see her."

Everyone lets out a collective "thank you" before the doctor turns around and walks the other direction.

It seemed something was going their way after-all.

* * *

 **I know nothing about medicine so if that explanation doesn't make sense dont blame me cause I truly have no idea lol. Also I know this chapter didn't switch around a lot but I assumed you guys wanted to know that JJ was okay instead of switching around too much. Review and let me know how I did pls :)**


	18. sleep

**Hey guys sorry it took me a while to update. I'm really sad, and sometimes that fuels the writing and sometimes it hinders it. Thank you to truepower357, Zangxinna, dauntlessfourever, and patternofdarkness for the amazing reviews! Now I'm going to answer some questions. Yes, there will be a little Will, JJ, and Henry scene :) Dauntlessfourever its funny because you'll say you'd like to see something in a chapter and I was already planing on putting it in! We must be very like minded. Patternofdarkness- I toyed with the idea of doing a flashback from the unsubs point of view to get a backstory but I think I'll write it in real time so it doesn't stray too far from the story, I know I created the brothers but truly I don't "know" them as well as I do the actual characters of criminal minds and I wouldn't want to portray them in an unfitting way. Also yes, I am going to continue on with her recovery, this story won't end when she is found.**

* * *

It seemed her body was getting used to this amount of trauma. Mere minutes after she passed out from the pain she was awake again.

Once she was awake the unsub didn't waste anytime on getting back to "work" as he had so nonchalantly put it.

He had sliced and sliced and sliced until there was hardly any skin left untouched on her arms and legs.

After her arms and legs, he had moved on to her stomach. Instead of slicing downwards like he had done previously, he inflicted shallow stab wounds all around.

Emily's previous motto of not showing any pain was thrown out the window. With each slash and stab she screamed and cried and whimpered.

It didn't matter if she kept quiet or not, he was still going to abuse her. Might as well take the microscopic comfort that screaming and cursing gave her. It was the one thing that she could control.

The world darkened with every slice of her skin. Her hope disintegrated with every stab.

Nothing truly mattered anymore.

IF she got out of here she would have to live the rest of her life with theses memories haunting her. She would suffer during the day, and would have to relive it at night in her dreams. The scars on her body would never fade.

Was it worth it?

It would be easy to give up. Just one simple "yes" and all of this pain would go away.

No more pain, no more fear, nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing.

Emily lays on the table, hours after he had finished abusing her body, thinking those dark thoughts while her arms and legs sting with pain.

She had been thinking them for hours.

The unsub hadn't come back since he finished with her. She lay alone strapped to the table, dried blood caking her entire body.

For some reason sleep refused to claim her. This is probably the longest stretch of time awake since being here. Of course she had absolutely no concept of time, it was maddening.

Had she been here a couple days? A week? Two weeks? She had absolutely no idea.

The unsub came in irregularly and stayed for random amounts of time.

 _His job had to be flexible then, maybe he works from home? Some sort of computer help kind of guy? It would explain why he's so good with computers and…_

 **Drip**

 **Drop**

 **Drip**

 **Drop**

Emily lets out a shriek of anger as the dripping sound continues to drive her absolutely crazy. She is trying to add to the profile in her head and it interrupts her thinking every time.

The sound started after he had finished slicing her up like a piece of meat, and it continues to echo in the large space.

It had taken her a while to figure out what it was, and once she did she wished she hadn't.

It is the sound of her blood dripping down into the drain on the floor.

"Please god make it STOP!" Emily shakes her head in frustration. If she had access to her hands her fingernails would be nonexistent.

Apparently it isn't enough to destroy her body, her mind has to be destroyed as well with that _fucking_ dripping sound.

The barn door opens and Emily strains to see outside of the door. All she can tell is that it is dark.

Thomas walks into the barn and quickly locks the door behind him.

"Hi Emily." His voice is completely normal, as if she wasn't strapped to the table with blood coating her body.

"Hello Thomas."

Silently he crosses over to her. His movements are very hesitant and slow, he seems to be very uncomftorable with the sight of her. She could work with that.

He produces a water bottle from behind his back and shows her "I figured you'd be thirsty."

Emily narrows her eyes at the bottle "is there anything in that?"

"No" he shakes his head "it's just water I promise. Here." He steps forward slowly and uncaps the bottle. With gentle hands he lifts her head up and brings the bottle to her lips. He pours carefully and slowly, as if he had done this before.

After a few careful gulps Emily moves her head from his hand. His touch makes her skin crawl, even if it is gentle. "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He gives her a small smile and backs away from the table.

 **Drip**

 **Drop**

 **Drip**

 **Drop**

"Ahh!" Emily yells out angrily.

Thomas jumps slightly at the sudden loud sound that came from the small woman.

"Can you please make that stop?" Emily twits her head to try and catch his dark eyes.

The older man hesitates as he finds the source of the sound. Her blood drips into the drain under her. "i'm not so good with blood."

"Please" she smiles sweetly at him "for me?"

 _Fucking kill me_

He seems to mull over the proposition before nodding his head slightly. "For you." He grabs a blood stained rag from the floor and drops to his knees.

Emily fights the desire to throw up as she lays eyes on all of her blood staining that rag and staining the floor beneath her. That's her blood. On the floor. Not in her body.

She moves her head to look up at the ceiling instead of her blood.

 **Drip**

 **Dr….**

It stops mid drop, and despite the dire situation Emily smiles and lets out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you." Her body relaxes very strangely.

Thomas smiles as he gets back to his feet "you're welcome, Emily."

Silence stretches between the pair.

"Can I ask you a question, Thomas?"

His face screws up in thought before he reluctantly nods "ok."

"What did you mean when you said you owed him, owed him me?" Emily's eyes feel heavy all of a sudden, and she blinks feverishly to stay awake.

Thomas looks over at the camera and then looks back to her. He smiles as he lays eyes on her. "I'm his big brother, and I didn't protect him from our mother. I owe him anything he wants, and he wants you."

Emily tries to shake her head, she know's it's more than that, but it doesn't comply. The world tilts back and forth. Involuntary tears start to prick at her eyes. "What did you do to me?" Her voice is thick with fear as she continues to try and move her limbs.

"Shhhh, shhhh Emily it's okay. I just crushed a large amount of strong sleeping pills into the water so you can finally get the rest you need."

"No." Emily whines as she continues to try and move any part of her body that will listen, nothing responds. She was so tired of not being in control of anything.

Her eyes are heavy as she looks all around the room, looking for anything that will help her.

"It's okay, Emily. Sleep."

His voice sounds so far away.

No matter how hard she fights to stay awake it doesn't work. Within seconds she is unconscious.

* * *

She awakens slowly, letting her body register her surroundings before she opens her eyes.

A steady beeping catches her attention and she concludes that she must be in a hospital. The sheets under her are scratchy and the strong scent of cleaning supplies hangs heavily in the air.

Carefully she opens her eyes, and feels strangely proud that she was able to deduce that she was in a hospital so quickly. But….. why was she in here?

"JJ how do you feel?" Hotch had been sitting in a chair next to the bed. Dried blood is caked on his face and his head is in his hands. Exhaustion flows off of him in powerful waves.

JJ opens her mouth to speak and is surprised when her throat instantly screams in protest.

As she becomes more awake she becomes more aware of the pain throughout her body. Her head hurts worse than it ever had and she's incredibly stiff everywhere. It feels like she got blown up.

"Don't try and talk, here." He reaches over and hands her a cup of water.

The blonde grabs it gratefully and takes a large swig of the freezing cold water. It instantly calms her tortured throat.

Instead of attempting to speak again, she simply tilts her head and waits for explanation from her boss.

"What do you last remember?"

 _What IS the last thing I remember?_

Her eyes instinctively close as she leans farther back into the pillows and tries to remember. Flashes of images cross her eyes so fast she can scarcely tell if it happened at all.

"We were going to get Emily. Oh my god Emily, where is she I have to see her." JJ's eyes snap open and she throws the blanket off of her legs. In a quick motion she attempts to jump out of bed.

Somewhere in her brain she registers the pain from speaking.

Her legs merely twitch in response and she goes crashing towards the ground.

Hotch, grateful for his fast reflexes, instantly catches her before she can hit the ground. His left arm grabs her around the waist while his right arm cradles her head. He gently places her back on the bed. "You have to be careful, Jennifer."

"What's wrong with my legs? Hotch what the hell happened, where is Emily?" Her voice is thick with emotion that she's trying to mask.

Hotch lets out a deep breath and sits back in his chair when she's sure she isn't going to try and get up again. "The house was a trap, as soon as I stepped into the barn it triggered several bombs. There were bombs in the barn and in the house. We got lucky, but there were no survivors in the house."

"Rossi?"

"Is getting coffee with Reid."

JJ lets out a breath as she shakes her head "and my legs?"

"The force of the blast ruptured a small sack of nerves at the base of your spine. You had surgery and the doctor said you'll probably make a full throat hurts because of the smoke you inhaled but it'll go away in a few hours, my throat feels fine now."

"Thank god." JJ drops her head back onto the pillows and stares up at the ceiling. "How is Emily?"

"He finished uh stabbing her this morning and hasn't touched her since."

"This morning? What time is it?"

"midnight."

"Oh my god, go back to the station and work on the case! I'm fine, you don't need to be here. We've just lost this entire day. He's already done with cutting her, are you sure?"

Hotch bows his head and looks at the ground "there isn't really anywhere left for him to cut. Garcia said she's been awake all day just laying on the table."

"Poor Emily." JJ shakes her head. "You need to go back to the station and find her. If he's already done with cutting then tomorrow….."

Hotch holds up a hand and signals her to stop talking. He doesn't need to hear that. Not right now.

JJ bows her head "Hotch I….."

"There she is, hey kiddo how are you feeling?" Rossi walks into the room with Reid trailing just behind him. The older man carries a coffee tray with five cups of coffee in it.

"I'm okay, Rossi. Why do you have five cups…?"

"Darlin thank god you're okay." Will rushes in just behind Reid with Henry on his hip.

JJ's mouth opens in shock and she sputters "W…Will, oh my god. You're here, Hotch didn't tell me you were here!"

Without stopping he continues to the bed and places Henry next to JJ, and then he hurriedly pulls JJ into his arms. "He called me right after they brought you into the hospital." He nods a quick thanks to Hotch and releases JJ.

"mommy are you okay?"

JJ lets out a shaky laugh and brings her son carefully into her arms "yeah buddy I'm okay."

A shrill ring breaks the soft moment and Hotch scrambles to get the phone out of his pocket. "Hotchner."

 _"_ _boss man we have a problem."_

"What's wrong Garcia?"

 _"_ _The unsubs brother put sleeping pills in Emily's water without her knowing. It knocked her right out."_

"Jesus" Hotch drops his head and lets out a deep breath "is he still in the barn?"

 _"_ _No, he left right after she fell asleep."_

"Did he say why he did it?"

 _"_ _He said he wanted to give her body the sleep it needs."_

"Okay, thank you Garcia. Have detective Richardson bring you in a laptop so you can watch Emily and continue to try and track him. We'll be there soon, Will just got here."

 _"_ _Got it sir, I'll let you know if I find anything. Garcia out."_

Hotch ends the call and discards the phone in his pocket. When he looks up he realizes everyone is staring at him."

"Is Emily okay?" Reid shoves his hands in his pocket and begins to shift awkwardly from foot to foot.

"She's fine, Thomas Fitzgerald slipped her sleeping pills."

"Why?"

"She's been awake all day and he wanted to give her body the sleep it needed. It looks like he feels affectionate towards her. She can use this to her advantage if she's careful."

"Go" JJ says and she motions her head towards the door "go back to the station and try and find her while she's sleeping. It'll be the best chance you have to find her before he…"

Rossi nods "we'll see you in a few, kiddo."

And without another word they were gone.

* * *

 **I know this is around 2000 words shorter than my usual chapters but I just wanted to get something out here for you guys. Like I told you I've been sad, and the urge to write just isn't as strong as it usually is. I apologize if this did not live up to your expectations, I feel really bad it's short but I just couldn't write anything more.**


	19. Shattered

**wow, can I just say WOW. All of your reviews were so incredibly kind. Not just with the content in the chapter but you ALL said that I needed to take time for myself before I try and write the chapter. I've been going through a really really really rough time and your kindness has shed some light onto all of the darkness. People that I actually know aren't even that nice, so thank you all for your kind words. Brought tears to my eyes. Anyway, sorry for the wait. Also I wasn't going to flash back to the brothers but honestly I need something to fill the chapter up with because it'll be super hectic for the next few chapters wink wink. Also trigger warning for sexual assault for this chapter and probably the rest. Really with the rest of them it's just to cover them talking about it and stuff but I want to cover all my bases. also im going to keep it as non graphic as possible because aint nobody need to read something too graphic.**

* * *

There is just enough light outside so that he doesn't need an additional source to see where he's going.

The journey to the barn is a practiced one, the path heavily trafficked. The grass is tamped down from the hundreds of walks back to the building over the years.

The barn is calling him like a siren. He had only left a few hours ago but he can't stay away, doesn't want to stay away.

She's in there all alone and unprotected, and he just can't stay away.

The stray pieces of grass that aren't flattened part as he walks into the woods, making a faint hissing sound. It calms him.

The soft call of birds awakening for the day eases the nervous tension that always puts his stomach in knots when he goes to see her. Will she hate him? Will she be kind to him? Will she even be awake?

No, she shouldn't be. With the amount of pills he crushed in her water she should be out until at least noon. Good. Her body needs time to heal.

His heart races faster at the thought of her and he forces his attention to his surroundings to calm his irregularly beating heart.

He spent his entire childhood outside in the yard avoiding his mother. From sunrise to sunset he was running through the forest or laying in the grass or playing in the stream.

It was then that he found the barn in the woods.

Patrick had been chasing him during an intense game of hide and seek when he stumbled upon it. They usually didn't venture this far into the forest. Though their mother didn't care about them, she generally liked to keep them close to the house.

That particular day she had been passed out drunk on the couch since mid morning.

It wasn't empty when they found it, he remembers. Patrick had gotten the strangest look on his face when he had seen it.

 _"_ _Come out come out wherever you are." Patrick dashes through the forest after his older brother. He was fast, faster than Thomas._

 _"_ _Patrick come here!" Thomas stands just outside his line of vision and it takes him a few minutes to actually find his brother._

 _Thomas is 14, while Patrick is only 11._

 _Patrick stops quickly next to his brother, slightly out of breath from the strenuous running the two had been doing for hours on end. Anything to avoid being in that house._

 _"_ _Have you ever seen his before?" Thomas looks at his brother who stands just next to him, gazing at the barn with an intense curiosity._

 _Patrick shakes his head quickly, he had never seen this place before. Patrick knows practically every inch of the forest and the fact that he had never seen it intrigues him._

 _Though just 11, Patrick has a staggeringly high IQ that separates him from other children his age. He has no friends._

 _"_ _let's go inside."_

 _Thomas looks uneasily at his brother standing shoulder to shoulder with him. His head tilts down as he takes in the younger boy._

 _"_ _What?" Patrick asks with a slow smirk stretching across his face "are you afraid?"_

 _A roll of the eyes is the only answer Patrick gets before Thomas turns to face the barn and begins to walk towards it._

 _The door appears to be unlocked, and when Thomas puts his hand gently against the wood it easily swings open._

 _"_ _What is this place?" Thomas walks farther into the large area and does a quick 360._

 _It's been recently remodeled, that much is clear. The floor is tile and the walls are a bright white. There are drains on the floor and a metal table to the side._

 _A hook hangs from the ceiling and rests at Thomas's eye level._

 _"_ _I don't know, but it's awesome." Patrick walks farther into the room, eyes wide and quickly sweeping the room._

 _Thomas looks at his brother with his eyebrows raised. Why did he look so…. Happy? This place gives Thomas the creeps, and so did the look on his brothers face._

 _Sensing his brothers stare, Patrick moves his eyes slowly to the other boy. "What? It's awesome in here."_

 _"_ _No, it's creepy. What do you think it's used for? Who owns it?"_

 _Patrick walks forward and peers down one of the drains. He can just make out a reddish brown stain right under the head of the drain. It sends a ripple of excitement through his body._

 _"_ _Who cares?" Patrick looks up from the drain and makes eye contact with his brother, a large smirk on his face "It's ours now."_

Thomas shakes his head to rid himself of the thought. Looking back at his childhood won't do him any good. He's spent so much of his life repressing those memories.

His feet had carried him right up to the barn without him realizing it.

The door is closed as usual, and he removes the key from his pocket and quickly unlocks the door. His hands shake slightly, the anticipation of seeing her causes the tremor.

It swings open easily once unlocked, and he hurries to lock the door behind him. There is no way that she could have gotten out of her restraints but he locks it behind him quickly just in case.

His breath is taken away when he lays eyes on her. She's in a deep sleep, doesn't move a muscle when he walks closer to her.

The damage to her body makes him angry. Practically every inch of skin on her arms and legs are covered in long, thin incisions. He should have stopped him, should have tried to protect her.

But he couldn't turn his back on his brother, after what he did for him….. it wasn't an option.

Thomas lifts his hand up and gently traces a cut down her arm. He can't even imagine the pain that she felt while getting carved like an animal.

Somehow she still looked beautiful, even with the injuries marring her face. There is dried blood caking her face, and a multitude of contusions from his brothers fists.

"What are you doing in here?"

Thomas jumps away from Emily out of surprise. He hadn't even heard his brother come in.

"Just making sure she's okay, she's been asleep for a long time."

Patrick raises an eyebrow suspiciously at his brother but doesn't say anything. It was true, she had been asleep for an extraordinarily long time and it was a cause for concern.

"Did you check her pulse?"

"I was just about to….."

Patrick shakes his head and pushes his brother out of the way. He brings two of his fingers to her wrist and feels for a pulse.

It's faint but it's strong, she hadn't left him yet.

"She's fine, she's a fighter. I like that." Patrick lets his eyes wander down her body before he turns back to his brother.

Thomas just nods awkwardly and wrings his hands in front of him, a nervous habit he had picked up from his childhood.

"I know how I can wake her up, leave why don't you." With a smirk on his face Patrick turns back to Emily and goes to get on top of her.

"What the hell are you doing she's asleep? Get off of her." Thomas moves his eyes frantically between the pair as the situation escalates dramatically.

"It's gonna happen either way who cares if she's asleep." Patrick settles on top of her and places his hands on both sides of her bra.

"Get off of her!" Thomas charges his brother and pushes him off of her roughly.

Patrick falls to the floor heavily and stays there for a few seconds, completely bewildered at what had just happened.

It only takes a few seconds for the anger to overtake the confusion and Patrick springs to his feet and closes the distance between him and his brother.

Patrick grabs a hold of Thomas's shirt and screams in his face "How dare you disrespect me like that?! After everything I've done for you?!"

They'd gotten into fights before, but nothing had ever exploded this violently before.

Thomas shoves his brother off of him and Patrick stumbles backwards several feet.

"Fuck you, Patrick. I'm so tired of you rubbing what you did in my face! I don't want to support this anymore, I don't want to support you anymore!"

"Well too bad asshole, you have to support me. You owe me for what I did to her. Without me she'd still be here abusing you."

Thomas grabs his hair with his hands and squeezes, his anger boiling dangerously. "You killed her! Don't act like you did some noble thing you killed our mother!"

Both brothers had forgotten the camera in the room.

"I was protecting you, I've always protected you!"

The anger dissipates as both brothers think of the horrors they had been subjected to because of their mother.

"Just… if you're going to do …. that…. At least wait until she wakes up, okay? I know how much you've done to protect me so I wont stop you because I owe you my life, but I don't support this." Thomas shakes his head and fights to keep the clear disgust off his face.

Patrick nods twice "okay, I'll wait."

They speak nonchalantly, as if they aren't discussing violating the woman strapped down to the table being held against her will.

"Let's go and let her sleep while she still can, after this I'm sure she'll never be able to sleep again."

* * *

"Your doctor cleared you?"

 _"_ _Yes Hotch my doctor cleared me. Trust me Will wouldn't let me leave if the doctor hadn't cleared me right in front of him."_

 _"_ _you're damn right."_ Will chimes in from somewhere in the background. JJ chuckles in response.

"And you feel fit for duty?"

 _"_ _Yes dad, I feel fit for duty. The surgery was minimally invasive and there's no point for me to recover in the hospital, I'm fine. I want to help find Emily, I need to help find Emily."_

Hotch sighs and rubs a hand over his face. He can understand her need to come back into the station and help in whatever way she can, but she hadn't even been in the hospital for 24 hours. "Fine, you can come back to the station. But you're on desk duty while you recover."

 _"_ _But Hotch….."_ JJ whines in protest.

"No buts, that's final JJ. Take your time coming in."

Hotch can hear JJ groan on the other side of the phone and the corners of his mouth turn up slightly. JJ never whined, but when she did it always made him want to laugh.

 _"_ _Fine, I'll see you soon._

Hotch hangs up the phone and puts it back in his pocket. The coffee pot signals it's finished and he quickly pours himself a mug.

Emily had been gone for over 48 hours, and the lack of sleep was starting to take a toll on him. But it didn't matter, he couldn't sleep. He had to find her.

"That JJ?" Rossi enters and automatically pours himself a mug of coffee, he had just caught the end of the conversation.

"Yes, her doctor cleared her for desk duty."

Rossi's eyebrows shoot up in surprise "she just had surgery yesterday, are you sure she was actually cleared?"

Hotch nods "Will was with her, he wouldn't let her come back if she wasn't cleared. JJ said that it was minimally invasive and that she was feeling fine. I honestly get why she doesn't want to stay in the hospital while we try and find Emily."

Rossi just sips his coffee and hums in agreement.

"Good morning." Elizabeth and Robert walk into the kitchen and chime the greeting in unison. The pair walk closely together, and it seems something good might have come out of this after all.

Even when Hotch had worked for Elizabeth all those years ago he had never seen the pair on such good terms.

"Good…" Hotch begins before Garcia comes barging into the kitchen.

"Guys, you have to see this." Without waiting Garcia retreats out of the kitchen and scurries back across the hall.

When they enter the room the unsub sits on top of Emily, his hands at both sides of her bra.

Rossi stops in his tracks and turns back to Emily's parents before they can walk farther into the room and see the screens. "You're not going to want to see this, please wait in the kitchen until someone comes to get you."

Both adults start to protest before they hear a muffled _""It's gonna happen either way who cares if she's asleep"_ and all the fight seems the leave them, they practically run out of the room.

"Garcia what has been happening?"

"Thomas came in to check on her and….."

 _"_ _Get off of her!"_

The commotion stops Garcia short and everyone's eyes move back to the screen.

Thomas had shoved his brother off of Emily roughly, and Patrick lays crumpled on the ground just to the side of where Emily lays still asleep. Hotch can't help but cheer in his head.

"What the hell is happening in here?" Derek walks into room and quickly shuts the door behind him. "I walked into the kitchen and Elizabeth told me something was happening."

"They're turning on each other" Hotch states without looking away from the screens "tell Reid to sit with Elizabeth and Robert."

Derek seems to hesitate, but after a few seconds he turns away and goes to find the young genius.

By this time Patrick had launched himself off of his feet and lunged at his brother, grabbing Thomas's shirt with his hands. _"How dare you disrespect me like that?! After everything I've done for you?!"_

"It looks like they've forgotten the camera." Rossi comments looking back and forth between the brothers.

"Good, let's hope they slip. Garcia keep trying to track the location."

"Yes sir."

 _"_ _Fuck you, Patrick. I'm so tired of you rubbing what you did in my face! I don't want to support this anymore, I don't want to support you anymore!"_

 _"_ _Well too bad asshole, you have to support me. You owe me for what I did to her. Without me she'd still be here abusing you."_

"Come on…." Hotch whispers, practically begging them to give something up that they can use to find her.

 _"_ _You killed her! Don't act like you did some noble thing you killed our mother!"_

"Bingo!" Hotch practically shouts, too excited to care. "Garcia run the trace in the background and pull up every unsolved murder for prostitues going back 30 years. She's on there, and so are they."

Garcia's mouth is slightly open as she closes her laptop and prepares to do the work in her temporary layer. "Yes sir!" She leaves quickly.

"Let's go back out to the board in the squad room and work off of that. If we bring it in here we'll just be distracted. We'll send JJ in here when she gets her, until then will you send Derek in?"

Rossi just nods, Hotch speaking too quickly to get a word in.

"This is it Dave, this will lead us to her."

Hotch goes to leave until he hears it.

 _"_ _Just… if you're going to do …. that…. At least wait until she wakes up, okay? I know how much you've done to protect me so I wont stop you because I owe you my life, but I don't support this."_

The younger agent turns around and looks Rossi in the eyes "we have to find her before….. that."

Rossi nods, pain clear in his eyes.

"I'll send JJ in right when she gets here. If we don't find her in time she's the one Emily would be the most comfortable with….. watching."

* * *

Her eyes flutter open and for the first time since she's been here she feels at peace. The sleeping pills Thomas had put in her water worked wonders.

The effects seem to linger, and she can't complain with the relaxing aura it has created for her.

Though she was still in immense pain it was dulled, and for once she didn't feel absolutely exhausted.

A tiny sliver of hope worked it's way to her brain. If she could feel like this until her team found her then maybe, just maybe, she could survive.

That hope is shot to hell when she hears someone unlocking the door. The fear is instant and paralyzing.

When he walks in Emily strains to see outside. The sun is shining bright and warm, and Emily had never wanted to be outside more in her life. She estimates that it must be around noon.

But noon on what day? Who knows how long she had been asleep for. One day, two, three? She'll never get used to this feeling of disorientation.

"Good morning sunshine, how are we feeling today?" Patrick locks the door behind him and turns to her, a sick smile stretching across his face.

It has her stomach flipping uncomfortably, as if she knows what is going to happen next. She doesn't let it show though, Emily clenches her jaw and moves her eyes back to the ceiling.

"Not feeling talkative today, are we?" Patrick walks towards her slowly and powerfully, like a predator stalking it's prey.

Without warning he grabs onto her hair and pulls her head up towards him.

The pain is sharp and rough, Emily has to clench her jaw to keep from crying out. When the pain subsides she looks him right in the eyes a spits a fiery "Go to Hell."

The fire that is still inside her both excites him and angers him. Instead of responding he simply walks away from her and stalks towards the camera. In a quick motion he lifts it up and brings it to the other side of her.

He adjusts the camera for a few seconds so that it only points at her face and nothing more.

"What the hell are you doing?" She fears what his answer will be, fears that she already knows but she forces herself to ask. Her voice sounds tired, as if she is bored with what is happening. How she was able to craft it that way she'll never understand, it was so far from what she felt.

"Trying to keep you decent, baby." He smirks at her and walks away from the camera, stopping at the side of her table.

"You don't have to do this" her voice cracks as she fights to maintain control. This was happening, this was really going to happen. They weren't going to find her in time to stop this. "If you walk out that door right now I promise I'll call my team off and no one will ever find you."

Her pleading doesn't faze him in the slightest. "Oh Emily, I thought you were smart enough to refrain from begging. It doesn't work."

"Leave, get the hell out of the country. If you do this my team will find you, and they will kill you."

Patrick clicks his tongue and shakes his head "bring it on." In a quick movement he climbs on top of her and places a rough kiss to her mouth.

Emily lets out a pitiful whimper and she moves her arms and legs wildly to try and fight him off.

"shhhhh, Emily. It's okay." His voice is comforting as if he is coddling a fussy child. He brings both of his hands to cup her breasts.

"GET OFF OF ME!" Emily begins to thrash around even more wildly than before. She was beginning to panic, sheer terror taking over every thought and motion. Her survival instincts were kicking in and all she cared about was getting him off of her.

Tears of humiliation and fear began to streak down her face.

Patrick delivers a harsh blow to her face that stuns her. He grabs onto the sides of her mouth with his hand and squeezes to get her to stop screaming. "Shut. Up."

She whimpers in response to the harsh grip.

Before Emily can stop it she feels him inside of her. The contact sends her crying and has her fighting harder than she ever had in her entire life. She doesn't care that her team is probably watching and her initial plan was to just lay here and take it for their sake, she doesn't care at all.

As he continues thrusting inside of her she slowly stops to fight. The anger and sadness that had filled her eyes slowly dissipate, and what's left is empty and cold.

During the beginning of the assault she had grabbed onto her restraints with her nails and squeezed for dear life. Now, she slowly uncurls from the restraints and her arms lay flat.

It feels as if something has shattered in her, as if her soul had just been broken into a million pieces. There's nothing left in it's place, just a dull and empty feeling.

Had she ever felt so broken before? So worthless? So humiliated? No she doesn't think she has. It's as if the door to her soul was swung shut, never to be open again.

Emily lulls her head to the side where the camera faces and stares directly ahead. Her eyes are dead, she feels dead inside.

He continues to go at her like a wild animal. He bites her skin and pants into her ear. It has her stomach churning with disgust.

It seems to go on forever, as if it'll never stop. She tries to take her mind off of the violation and think of a happy place, but it doesn't work. She feels everything, and she can't possibly pretend she's somewhere else right now.

When he finishes inside of her he quickly jumps off and zips his pants back up. "I'll be back later, sit tight Emily. That was fun, don't worry we'll do it again soon."

She doesn't acknowledge his presence, simple continues to stare at the empty wall. She wants to crawl underground and never come out. She wants to curl up into a ball and literally die.

But she can't, she's still tied to this fucking table.

In her wildest dreams she never imaged this would happen to her. Sure everyone says that, but Emily is a trained agent and she can't fathom the fact that she let this happen to her.

 _I should have fought harder, I should have screamed louder. I shouldn't have let this happen to me. I shouldn't have gone undercover, I shouldn't have become an agent. I shouldn't have been born._

 _I'm disgusting. No one on the team will ever want to come near me again, especially not Hotch. Oh god, Hotch….. He probably hates me now. I hate me now._

Dark thoughts continue to swirl around her head as she continues to stare blankly at the wall.

Emily has no idea how much time had passed before the sound of the door unlocking met her ears. She doesn't care who it is, she doesn't care about what happens to her. She just wants everything to be over.

"Emily?" Thomas walks farther into the room waiting for her response. When she doesn't give one he walks over to the side she is facing.

The sight of her breaks his heart. Her hair is a mess, tear tracts are stained down her face from the constant flow of tears. Both wrists and thighs are bruised as well as bite marks all over her body that his brother had left.

"Oh Emily… I'm so sorry. Look what he did to you….."

Emily lifts her eyes to meet his but she doesn't say anything, simply stares at him and then moves her eyes back to the wall. Tears continue to leak out of her eyes and she doesn't try to stop them.

Without warning he walks quickly over to her. She flinches back slightly and he slows his pace when he sees her reaction.

More carefully this time, he bends down to her ear and whispers one single world. Without waiting for her response he runs out of the barn and locks it behind him.

"Baker" Emily repeats the word he had just told her trying to make sense of it, trying to relay it to her team so maybe they could make sense of it. Though….. she realizes in this moment that she doesn't care whether they find her or not.

"Baker."

"Baker."

"Baker."

* * *

 **Ok sorry that was so hard to write honestly tried to not make it too graphic because gross and I tried to make it short bc gross but also SORRY HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO UPDATE. I've finally got my life back on track and will try to update more. Love all of you, please review and tell me what you think. Sorry to leave you on kind of a cliff hanger. Also its rlly unrealistic to have JJ cleared so quickly but too bad I dont care lmao my fic my medicine**


	20. The Team

**The 20th chapter?! Holy shit I never thought I would get so far, and it's all because of you guys! PatternOfDarkness, Thalium, dauntlessfourever, Zhangxinna thank you so much for reviewing, you honestly have no idea how much it means to be. That being said, I honestly do wish I got more reviews. I am so so grateful for all of you that do review (y'all fucking ROCK and are amazing humans) but I feel like I know other stories that get like 5 times the reviews I do and it makes me a lil sad :( this thing is getting close to 80,000 words and I get like an average of 3-4 reviews per chapter lmao thats pathetic. I feel like it's a pretty solid story, but I could be mistaken. Anyway sorry for my rambles, I don't write for the reviews but it of course doesn't hurt to get ones. The ones I do get are AMAZING so thank you my loves, never think I'm not grateful for your continued reviews. I have some people that review every chapter and that means the world to me. Also the timeline may be a little off by a few hours but if anyone calls me out on it I'll go ham on u just kidding but pls dont call me out on it**

* * *

JJ walks quickly into the chaotic police station. She has to politely sidestep multiple police officers who try and engage her in conversation.

Some nod quickly at her in understanding, while others try and prolong the conversation to ask her how she's feeling. It's understandable really, she looks exactly like how someone does after they've been blown up.

Her hair is in a messy ponytail, bruises and scrapes litter her skin in random patterns, and she walks with the slightest limp. Instead of her usual professional attire she wears grey yoga pants and a large Yale sweatshirt that had been Emily's. The morning after a drunken night Emily had gifted it to her saying that she had several others and that JJ should have it.

Doctor Montgomery had insisted that she wear comfortable clothing. JJ had tried to fight it at first, but honestly Emily's sweatshirt was incredibly comforting.

However, she couldn't give less of a damn. Her friend was still missing, and sitting in a hospital wasn't going to help either of them.

It also helped that she couldn't feel any pain. Anger had overwhelmed any discomfort she may feel. First with Emily being taken, then with being thrown into the air like a rag doll by the blast, and finally when she had tried to walk into the police station and had been assaulted by all of the reporters.

The flashing of their cameras burned her eyes as she elbowed her way into the station. The media coverage surrounding the case had doubled since she had last been at the station, the story picking up popularity with every second.

A pretty female FBI agent had been abducted while undercover as a prostitute, and it sure didn't help that her mother was an ambassador and her father was deputy director of the CIA.

Will and Henry had taken her room key and settled into their luxurious hotel room. JJ had practically forced Will to do it, someone should at least take advantage of the large suite.

JJ storms past all of the desks in the bullpen and walks toward the back corner when she notices her team huddled around a board.

"They're on here…" Hotch turns around just in time to see JJ rushing towards them. "JJ slow down." He grabs a chair and shoves it towards her in hopes that she'll sit.

JJ simply knocks it out of her way and walks right up to the board. An enlarged list of names takes up the majority of the board. "Who are these? What did I miss?"

"A list of all the unsolved cases of murdered prostitutes. Looks like our boy started with killing his mother." Derek turns his body to JJ as he speaks, moving his hands up and down the list as he explains it's meaning.

Before JJ can get another word in Hotch lightly tugs on her arm and starts to bring her down the hallway.

"I need you to do something for me, Jennifer."

The use of her first name has her heart racing and her breath stopping. Whatever he was about to ask her was going to be serious, and she wasn't going to like it.

He gently turns her to face him right outside of the monitor room. "I need you to watch over her."

JJ tilts her head in confusion "of course, Hotch. I have no problem oh…." When the realization of what he is asking her hits she walks the few steps back and rests against the wall, the energy drained out of her.

"I'm sorry to ask you to do this, but if Emily would be comfortable with anyone in there if it was going to happen….."

"It would be me" JJ finishes for him as she lulls her head back against the wall and closes her eyes.

 _How am I supposed to watch this?_

"Can you do this?" His tone isn't accusatory or negative in anyway, it is filled with honest curiously.

JJ opens her eyes and takes a deep breath. "I can do this. Go, profile that list and I'll watch over her. Is Rossi in there now?"

Hotch simply nods and squeezes her shoulder comfortingly "Thank you, Jennifer." Without another word he is gone.

As soon as she walks into the room Rossi gives her a quick peck on the cheek and leaves as fast as humanly possible. She doesn't blame him, she would run far away from here if she had the choice.

JJ grabs a chair from the back wall and sits it in front of the screens, preparing to hunker down for a long time before anything happened.

Unfortunately, that was not the case.

A mere 20 minutes passes before Emily's eyes flicker open.

Even though JJ was miles away and the camera wasn't as good as being there in person, she could tell Emily wasn't all the way there. Whatever Thomas had given her was strong, and it obviously still lingered in her system.

There was a peace in her eyes that JJ hand absolutely never seen, even when she was safe at home. She was always on guard which was….. odd now that she was thinking about it. She should definitely ask about that when they find her.

WHEN.

Emily's eyes flitter lazily around the room, as if she doesn't totally comprehend where she is. There is a small sliver of fear in her eyes, but it is outweighed by the general calmness that is there.

JJ doesn't know if it's better that she's slightly out of it or worse. The blonde contemplates just that until the barn door opens.

The smirk that he throws at Emily as soon as he walks in has JJ's stomach rolling with disgust. How can he enjoy torturing her this much?

 _I wish I was in that room so I could shoot him in the balls_

 _"Good morning sunshine, how are we feeling today?"_

At his words Emily simultaneously shrugs away and cranes her neck closer to get a better look outside.

 _She must be trying to keep track of time_

It is smart and tactical and surprising given her mental state and it is… it is Emily Prentiss. At least a piece of her is still in there.

Emily moves her eyes back from the door to the ceiling as she clenches her jaw.

 _"Not feeling talkative today, are we?"_

He walks towards her slowly, that is until her grabs onto her hair and yanks her upwards quickly.

JJ lets out a shaking breath and grips the chair harder. If she is going to get through this she has to pretend that she has no idea who Emily is.

Surprisingly Emily makes eye contact with him and lets out a strong _"Go to Hell."_

The tension leaves the blondes hands ever so slightly, color returning to her clenching knuckles.

The unsubs path changes quickly, and before JJ realizes what's happening he has picked up the camera and adjusted it so that only the brunettes face is showing.

"What the hell…" JJ gets up from the chair slowly and walks closer to the screens. She leans against the back of the chair and crosses her arms.

 _"What the hell are you doing?"_ Fear laces her every word.

JJ feels her heart begin to beat faster as she recognizes the look in Emily's eyes. Emily know's what's about to happen, and now does JJ.

 _"Trying to keep you decent, baby."_

 _"You don't have to do this" her voice cracks as she fights to maintain control. This was happening, this was really going to happen. They weren't going to find her in time to stop this. "If you walk out that door right now I promise I'll call my team off and no one will ever find you."_

"Oh my god." JJ folds in on herself while forcing her eyes to the screens. She has to profile him, and if this ever goes to trial she will have to testify to what she saw.

 _"Oh Emily, I thought you were smart enough to refrain from begging. It doesn't work."_

 _"Leave, get the hell out of the country. If you do this my team will find you, and they will kill you."_

It's as if the world stops while Patrick opens his mouth _"bring it on."_

JJ stifles a screech as he practically jumps on top of her and roughly presses his mouth to hers.

As Emily whimpers and cries JJ turns around and starts shaking her head feverishly. "I can't, I can't, I can't do this."

A ragged breath wracks JJ's small frame and she covers her mouth with her hands to silence it, though she's the only one in the room. JJ shakes her head and closes her eyes.

She has to do this. If Emily can endure this then JJ can stand by her side through it.

 _1_

 _2_

 _3_

 _4_

 _5_

JJ whips back around to face the screens and clenches her fists in preparation.

Emily is flailing her limbs under his weight. _"shhhhh, Emily. It's okay."_ He consoles her as if she's a child.

 _"GET OFF OF ME!"_ The brunette begins to kick and scream more wildly than before. Her voice is panicked and her eyes are wide with fear.

When tears begin to streak down Emily's face JJ's heart breaks into a million pieces. She thought that she would feel angry watching this, but she feels useless and broken.

Suddenly Patrick smacks her hard across the face. Her cries are instantly silenced by the contact. _"Shut. Up."_

Though JJ can't see past Emily's shoulders, she knows the minute he begins to rape her.

A guttural screech leaves Emily's lips that doesn't sound all together human. Her body moves violently in every direction to try and get away from him.

"Oh my god…." JJ squeaks out as tears pour unbridled down her face. There was no point in trying to hide what she is feeling, no point in acting like she didn't know the girl on the camera was her best friend. Emily's pain literally broke her heart.

Emily turns her face towards the camera as she looks at a random spot on the wall, anything to avoid the lens itself.

She has to tell someone that this is happening. She can't….. she can't take this knowledge all on her own. No one else has to come in and watch she just can't bare being the only one who knows.

JJ pulls out her phone and dials Hotch's number. After 3 rings he picks up.

 **"What's wrong, JJ?"**

"He…" she stops talking as Emily begins to change right before her eyes. The tension, no that isn't quite the right word for it, the life leaves her body. Only she isn't dead, she blinks every few seconds. The light fades from her eyes, but she still moves from time to time under the weight of him.

"Oh god…." JJ cries into the phone, completely forgetting that her boss is on the other end.

 **"JJ what's wrong? What's happening?"**

"She looks…. She looks dead. Hotch she isn't but there isn't any life left in her eyes" a sob wracks JJ's tiny frame as he continues to thrust into her her. Emily doesn't seem to even notice it's happening anymore, her body simply moves with everyone of his motions as she stares blankly ahead.

 **"I'm coming in."**

"Hotch no! He's raping her Hotch you don't want to see this. Stay outside, I'll tell you when it's done."

 **"He's what?"**

JJ can hear the breath being knocked out of him. Of course they had all known it was a possibility but to have it actually happen…. That was something all together different.

 **"I don't care I'm coming in, I have to be with her."**

"Aaron!" She wants to scream at him for being so stupid. Once you see this you can't unsee it. JJ knows this will haunt her for the rest of her life, and she doesn't want the burden of seeing this to be put upon anyone else.

Before she can tell him anything of those things however, he's already opening the door and slamming it behind him.

 _"I'll be back later, sit tight Emily. That was fun, don't worry we'll do it again soon."_ He gets off of her and the sounds of him leaving the barn can be heard.

Hotch walks past JJ and slowly makes his way to the center of the screens. His blood runs cold when he looks at Emily. JJ explained it perfectly, there is no life in her eyes. He would think she was dead if she wasn't blinking.

"How long did it last?" Hotch turns to the shaking blonde behind him. She is pale, and there are continuously flowing tears down her face.

"I..I… I don't know, Aaron. I'm sorry… I can't." JJ turns and rushes out of the room, immediately turning right down the hallway.

Hotch moves to the door "Rossi?"

It only takes a few seconds for the older Italian man to reach the unit chief. He shoots him a questioning look.

"Can you watch over her? He's…. He's finished. I have to make sure JJ's okay."

Rossi simply closes his eyes and nods his head before walking into the room.

The last thing Hotch hears before the door closes is Rossi's sharp intake of breath as he lays eyes on Emily.

* * *

He knows exactly where to find her, and without hesitation Hotch forces the women's restroom open and walks confidently in.

There's a middle aged woman standing just inside a bathroom stall. She seems to be murmuring comforting words to the individual inside.

As soon as Hotch walks far enough into the room the woman turns to him and gives him a small, weak smile.

"Your girlfriend is in here."

Instead of correcting her Hotch simply exchanges positions with the woman and holds grabs onto JJ's hair. Moments later the sound of the woman opening and closing the door meets both of their ears.

"Girlfriend? Can't say that has ever happened before." JJ speaks from within the toilet bowl, her face just inches from the water.

When the nauseous feeling passes JJ wipes her mouth with toilet paper and flushes the toilet. She backs away from the toilet and sits against the right side of the stall.

Hotch smiles and places his back against the opposite side as JJ.

There had never even been a hint of sexual tension between the two. Every word, every action, every movement had always been strictly platonic. Throughout the years they had become closer and closer, and it was nice to know that nothing sexual would ever happen.

"We have to stop meeting like this."

JJ scoffs at his lame attempt to make mer laugh. A stubborn smile stretches across her face. She didn't want to smile, she didn't want to laugh. She wanted to curl with Will and Henry and forget what she had just seen.

More than anything, she wanted to find Emily.

"I'm sorry, my stomach has been upset this entire case." JJ shakes her head and looks over at Hotch.

The situation is funny really, sitting in a women's room stall with her boss.

"Are you pregnant?"

JJ laughs sharply and shakes her head. "I don't know, I hope so. Otherwise it appears I've lost my touch as an agent and I'll have to….."

The door flies open and Rossi sticks his head in "Guys, you have to see this."

Without hesitation the pair stands quickly and rushes after the older man, following him back into the monitor room.

Every member of the team is there.

Thomas Fitzgerald walks into the barn and crosses over to where Emily lays empty and motionless.

 _"Oh Emily… I'm so sorry. Look what he did to you….."_

Hotch's heart leaps when he see's her eyes move up to meet Thomas's. She's aware of her surroundings which was a good thing, she isn't completely catatonic yet.

At the mention of the elephant in the room everyone tenses up and holds their breath. What had been done to Emily can never be undone. For the rest of her life she'll remember what happened, and so will they.

Thomas walks quickly over to Emily and instinctively she flinches away from him. Slowly and carefully he leans down and whispers something into her ear.

Just as fast he had come he was gone.

"What the hell…." Derek stares angrily at the retreating figure. He was expressing what they were all thinking: what had he just told her?

Emily's lips move but no sound comes out. She tries again, and this time a tiny sound can be heard.

 _"Baker"_

 _"Baker"_

 _"Baker"_

Hotch snaps into action at once. "Bring the boards in here, we'll work from here for now on. Garcia I want you to start cross checking the word "baker" with every name on that list. Morgan go get the boards and bring them in here. This is what we need to find her, lets go!"

* * *

 **So it's not as long as usual but it was a good stopping point for what's about to unfold. Review and let me know what you think :) also sorry for taking so long to update, to be honest I've been drunk for like the last few weeks so my bad actually to be REALLY honest 75% of this chapter I wrote drunk, so I hope its good lmaoooo. Love ya review!**


	21. No fight left

**Anddddd we're back! Can't thank you guys enough for your insightful reviews. Shout out to Dauntlessfourever, PatternofDarkness, Truepower357, Guest, Zhangxinna, MidnightHalcyon, and Guest. Your reviews mean EVERYTHING to me I check my email 25/8 looking for them :) this story still has a good amount left so dont leave me now! Also I will NEVER stop writing just because lack of reviews just so you all know :) ALSO a few chapters ago I said Thomas Fitzgerald instead of Thomas young, I toyed with the last name of Fitzgerald but changed my mind so if any of you caught that mistake my b. SO happy with all the reviews this past chapter :) love you all.**

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"Are there any women on the list that have the last name of Baker?" Hotch faces the board with hardened eyes, as if staring at it will tell him what he needs to know.

Garcia shakes her head "nothing."

"What about a maiden name?" Derek leans over her shoulder as she types.

All agents are crammed into the small monitor room, desperately trying to find the meaning of the word Emily had uttered.

On the other side of the camera, Emily lies awake in the same position she had been in since the rape. The only thing that moves are her eyes, and even then they just stare straight ahead for the most part.

"Nadda. Give me something else."

"Could it be a street name?"

"If it is we didn't pass it on the way to search for her" Reid says from the other side of the room "and I can't remember seeing it on the map."

"Garcia?"

"Boy genius is right, there's no baker street."

Hotch shakes his head as he paces back in forth in front of the board. "What the hell could it mean?"

Rossi eyes his boss warily, he was slowly breaking down by the second. "Are there any landmarks with Baker in the name?"

The sound of Garcia's fingers flying across the keyboard is the only sound in the entire room.

With every negative answer Garcia gives the team feels the pressure more and more. The tension is high and if they don't find her soon they may explode.

"There's a baker park downtown, but nothing in Adamstown."

Hotch shakes his head "that can't be it. All evidence points to him keeping the victims in Adamstown. Anyplace downtown wouldn't offer him the privacy he needs."

"Should we check it out just in case?" Rossi steps slightly closer to his boss as he asks the question, hoping the human contact will keep him from spiraling.

Hotch takes a few seconds to think about it "Take Reid and detective Richardson with you. If you find anything, ANYTHING, you call me. I mean it, Dave."

Rossi nods and claps his boss on the back. Without another word the older man rushes out of the room, and Reid trails behind him quickly.

"What about any family members of the murdered women, do they have any connection to anything named Baker?" JJ rubs a hand over her face and walks over to the board that Hotch paces in front of.

"I'm running the search now but it's going to take some time, JJ."

"Garcia we don't have time!" Hotch whips around to face Garcia, his voice is sharp and his eyes are hard.

"Hotch" Derek spits out in warning.

Hotch takes one look at the shocked technical analyst and immediately forces the tension out of his body. This wasn't her fault, it was the unsubs.

"Do it as fast as possible, please."

Garcia just nods her head and continues to type. It doesn't take a profiler to read his words and tone of voice as an apology. There wasn't any time to mope at the rising tensions in the room, she had a job to do.

"What if…." Derek is interrupted as a sharp knock sounds throughout the room.

Without waiting the person enters the room, and everyones stomach drops when they lay eyes on the visitors.

Elizabeth and Robert walk into the room and quickly close the door behind them. It takes only seconds for them to look at Emily and realize something horrible had happened.

"What the hell happened?" Robert steps closer to the screen to get a better look at her. "What's wrong with her?"

Hotch clears his throat and looks between them, hoping that they would understand what had happened without him having to say it.

"Oh god" Elizabeth brings her hand to cover her mouth and she turns into her ex husband and away from the team "jesus christ."

Robert puts an arm around Elizabeth and stares directly as Hotch "Why didn't you call us?" The pain is evident in his eyes, but his voice is clear and strong.

"It just happened, Sir."

Robert nods, accepting his answer. Subconsciously he pulls his ex wife closer into him, drawing strength from her presence.

"Robert, Elizabeth, why don't you wait in the kitchen? We're very close to finding her and we need to be able to work freely. I will come and get you when we find her."

The pair look hesitant to leave, not fully convinced that sitting outside of the room would be the best thing. They wanted to help anyway they could, and sitting around twiddling their thumbs didn't seem appealing.

"We don't know if it'll…. happen again before we find her. You don't want to see that, and Emily wouldn't want you to see it either."

That seems to convince them, and they allow JJ to usher them across the hall and into the kitchen. With any other agent they would have fought more, but they trust JJ.

A ringing sound draws their attention back to the room.

"What do you have mama?" Derek leans ever closer to the screen in an attempt to see the results.

Instead of answering Garcia simply fly's her fingers over the keyboard. After a few seconds Garcia lets out a growl and hits her keyboard with flat palms.

"Nothing?" Hotch asks, already knowing the answer but fearing it all the same.

"Nothing." Garcia answers simply.

JJ walks back into the room and surveys the moods in the room. "Nothing? Seriously? How is that even possible."

Derek shakes his head and pushes back from the monitor. "It means something, it has to mean something."

"Of course it means something".

Hotch turns his back on the agents and stands right in front of the monitors. It looks like Emily had finally been able to fall asleep."But what?"

* * *

 _The first thing she registers is the feeling of a hand on her cheek. The hand is large and calloused, but it's touch is gentle and comforting._

 _Emily opens her eyes and a small smile stretches across her face as she lays eyes on him. "Aaron, What are you doing here?"_

 _"_ _I'm here to rescue you." Hotch flashes her a smile, dimples prominent against his smooth skin. His pinky gently rubs her jaw and she finds herself relaxing into his touch, as if it's the most natural thing in the world._

 _"_ _Where am I?" Emily looks around sleepily as she relaxes more and more into the surface she is laying on. It doesn't feel like her bed at home, or any bed she is familiar with. It is harder, colder, less familiar._

 _"_ _Don't you know?"_

 _His hand leaves her cheek and she feels instantly cold with the loss of contact._

 _Emily goes to sit up but something is holding her down. She looks at her arms and realizes they're strapped down, as are her legs._

 _"_ _Hotch?" Emily struggles against her restraints as she looks around the room wildly. He is nowhere in sight. "Hotch?!"_

 _"_ _i'm right here, Emily." He appears on the opposite side of her, his hand is back on her cheek, his voice is warm and soft._

 _She begins to cry "I need you to get me out of here, Hotch. I can't… I'm not strong enough. Please help me. Please."_

 _"_ _sh sh sh shhh" Hotch leans closer to her and his other hand snakes to the other side of her face._

 _Emily closes her eyes with the contact. She can feel his hands rubbing softly on both sides of her face to lull her to sleep._

 _Then the contact changes. His hands move slowly downward until they wrap delicately around her neck, and then they begin to squeeze._

 _Emily's eyes spring open._

 _Where Hotch had been just seconds ago, Patrick is instead. He smiles at her as he squeezes harder and harder, until there is no life left in her._

* * *

A scream tears out of her throat and she bolts as upright as she can be. When she gets halfway up her arm restraints dig into her wrists and pull her back down to the table.

Her chest heaves rapidly and her eyes dart around the room wildly.

It had felt so real, so incredibly real. She still feels his hand on her cheek, his pinky ghosting slowly back and forth against her jaw.

And now she is alone. Completely and utterly alone with nothing but her thoughts. Her dark and twisted thoughts.

Not a second goes by that she doesn't replay what happened to her in her head. She can still feel him on top of her, hear him panting in her ear, smell his cologne as he moved around her.

It makes her skin crawl and her stomach drop.

The only thing worse than thinking about it was having to relive it.

The barn door swings open and Patrick stands in the doorway, a smirk plastered on his face.

"I missed you."

Emily curls in on herself and faces the opposite direction, looking above the camera as she had done the last time.

The unsub hadn't moved the camera back, and it captures the emotion leaving her eyes as he walks towards her.

Emily can feel the change overtake her. The emotion that had been in her eyes because of the nightmare washes away when she realizes what is about to happen, again.

She had always known that the world is a cruel place, and had been exposed to that cruelty early on in life. She just never thought she would be exposed to this kind of this barbaric act.

"huh? Did you miss me?" The unsub crosses over to her and roughly wipes the hair out of her eyes.

A tiny whimper leaves her lips but other than that she doesn't acknowledge his presence. Her eyes stare straight ahead, empty and cold.

"Well I missed you." He grabs her face with both hands and forces her lips against his.

Emily tries to wiggle out of his grip but she doesn't fight like she did the first time. Her movements are slower and less crazed.

"Give up, Emily."

"no."

The fight leaves her with every second and by the time he is on top of her she simply lays there, limp.

This time he is more rough with her. He thrusts into her faster and harder, he claws at her, he smacks her, he chokes her.

Emily had never felt pain like this. The pain radiates from every part of her body. Some of the cuts up and down her body reopen, blood trickles down her arms and legs.

Tears leak out of her eyes but they aren't caused by the physical pain. They're caused by the pain that she doesn't feel. It feels like the door to her heart has been slammed shut.

If she's rescued her life will never be the same. She will always be a victim, she will always be tainted.

She cries for the woman she used to know that had died the minute he touched her.

When he's finished he climbs off of her and crouches down in front of her.

"I will be back as soon as I can. God you're gorgeous. I'll miss you, Emily." He caresses her cheek with a violent hand and leaves her.

Alone.

Again.

The minute the barn door closes Emily rolls onto her side as much as she can and settles her eyes above the camera.

Tears leak out of her eyes until they stop completely.

* * *

"Who fathered Patrick and Thomas Young?" JJ asks and looks around the room to see if anyone had the answer.

Her question is met only with silence.

"Garcia?" Hotch asks setting down a piece of paper he had been looking at.

"Let me look at their birth certificates." Her fingers fly across the keyboard as she searches through thousands of pieces of data to find what she needs.

Derek wipes his face with his hands "why haven't we thought about this before. We know nothing about the father and we're just now asking why?" He shakes his head and turns away from the team.

They were too close to Emily, and it was compromising their ability to think and act clearly. If the victim was a stranger they would have figured it out long ago.

"Alright I've got it. Here are their birth certificates and…."

"What?"

"There is no father listed. For either of them."

Derek lets out a frustrated groan and storms out of the room, grabbing his coffee mug on the way out.

Every member of the team watches him go but doesn't say anything. When he gets frustrated it's better to just let him work it out on his own.

"Maybe…."

A scream from the other side of the camera causes JJ to jump into Hotch. He stabilizes the pair of them and then quickly moves from JJ's side and toward the monitors.

"She's having a nightmare."

"man oh man do I hate watching her like this" Garcia shakes her head and covers her eyes with her hands "I feel like we're spying on her or something."

JJ looks back at her friend "It's the rules Garcia, you know that."

"I know but it doesn't make it any easier I mean…"

Derek walks back into the room looking significantly less angry than he did when he first left. His coffee cup was refiled, and he sips on it while walking further into the room.

"What did I miss?"

"Emily's awake."

"Already?" Derek walks closer to the screen "Didn't she just fall asleep."

"She had a nightmare."

"If she's awake again then we don't have much time before he comes back. We need to find her, I don't know how much longer she can take." It leaves his lips before he even processes what he's saying. It's as if he wasn't controlling his words, as if he somehow knew that she was nearing the end. As if she told him herself.

Derek looks as taken aback as Hotch feels. No one had voiced the idea that Emily could give up. "Man don't talk like that. This is Emily we're talking about, she'll fight until the very end."

"this" Hotch points to Emily on the screen "this isn't the Emily we know. We can't predict what's going to happen, Derek. It's time that we address what could happen."

"Hotch how can you even…"

"Guys"

"I don't like it anymore than you do Derek but we can't ignore it anymore….."

"Guys"

"It's EMILY, she can hold on until we get there don't you dare…"

"Do you think she's really going to want to live with this….."

"GUYS!" JJ screams at the top of her lungs and waves her fists in the air. This was one of the times she detested her small stature.

When both men finally look at her she glares at both of them and starts to push them towards the door.

"get out!"

"JJ what?"

"get the hell out!" JJ points towards the monitors.

The unsub can be heard from the other side of the camera _"I missed you."_

Emily curls her body in the opposite direction as he presumably gets closer. The camera is still on her face though, so only a limited amount of things can be seen.

"I want to stay" Hotch and Derek ring out at the same time.

"No. Get. Out." With the help of Garcia, who had gotten up around the end of the argument, they push both men out of the room and lock the door behind them.

JJ lets out a sigh of relief and turns to the technical analyst "You don't have to stay in here if you don't want to. It's… really hard to watch Pen."

"It's okay, i'm staying for you. I don't want you to watch it alone." Garcia squeezes JJ's shoulders gently before turning back to the monitors.

* * *

"Baker"

"Baker"

"Baker"

"Baker"

Hotch paces back and forth in the monitor room. There was something that was bothering him, a feeling that he couldn't shake.

After the unsub had left the barn JJ had gone into the squad room and brought Hotch and Derek back into the monitor room.

Robert and Elizabeth sat side by side patiently in the kitchen waiting for any news, good or bad. Even if they weren't working the case they knew it was coming to a very real end.

"Baker"

"Baker"

"Baker"

"Baker"

"What are you thinking Hotch?" JJ takes a deep breath and bites harder onto the end of the pencil in her mouth. She was trying to be patient, but his pacing and mumbling were getting on her nerves.

They were all getting on each others nerves.

"I don't know, there's something that's eating at me but I don't know what it is. The word Baker, there's something there. I can't put my finger on it."

"Is it the name of a company like a drugstore or a movie theatre?" Derek sits in a chair next to Garcia, head in his hands. They had been throwing idea after idea at Garcia.

Everyone is silent as they wait for Garcia's answer. It was a familiar routine that they had been through a dozen times.

"No." No catchy phrase, no positive spin, nothing. Garcia was quickly running out of her happy go lucky energy.

"Oh god" JJ groans while cracking her back as she gets out of the chair she had been sitting in. She checks her watch and shakes her head. It was nearing 10:00 at night.

The blonde takes a sip of her coffee and walks around the small space "We need to review the evidence. The answers are in here, we just have to think about it in a different light."

The door opens, and Rossi and Reid come piling into the room. They both look exhausted.

"Nothing?"

"Nothing. How is she?"

"He came back again, she hasn't moved since. We have nothing new, no leads, no ideas, no nothing."

The room is silent for a few moments.

"What if Baker is a last name."

"We already tried that, Reid."

"No wait a second" Reid walks farther into the room to stand by Garcia's side. "We looked at people involved with the murdered women, what if it's someone related to the town. Some figure with significance to the mother and to the boys?"

"Someone significant to the town…"

 _"_ _I don't know how you did it."_

 _"_ _Did what?"_

 _"_ _Picked a name for Jack." Emily takes a sip of her wine and smiles at Hotch who sits across from her._

 _They were at her favorite French restaurant in DC. Neither would call it a date, thought that's exactly what it was._

 _"_ _Oh" Hotch laughs and pushes his food around on his plate "it was impossible. Haley really wanted Jack but the only thing that I could think of was Jack….."_

 _"_ _The ripper." Emily finishes for him._

 _"_ _Exactly" Hotch sips his wine and places it back down on the table "she never understood why I shot down so many baby names but after seeing a vicious murder that someone of a specific name committed I just can't….."_

 _Emily nods her head as she takes another sip of her wine. "I get it, it's hard. Especially when you have a boy."_

 _"_ _Especially when you have a boy."_

 _"_ _What did you want to name him?" Emily tilts her head as she looks at him, a small grin on her lips._

 _"_ _Matthew."_

 _"_ _Oh god, well Matthew Hotchner sounds good but thank god you didn't name him Matthew."_

 _Hotch raises his eyebrows in confusion "Why? I couldn't think of a serial killer with the name of Matthew, Haley just hated the name."_

 _"_ _Aaron come on, seriously?"_

 _Hotch shakes his head "seriously."_

 _"_ _Matthew Baker, Adamstown Maryland. Tortured and killed 10 women like 7 years ago. Cops killed him in a shootout."_

 _Hotch smacks his forehead with his palm and shakes his head. "I cannot believe I forgot about Matthew Baker. The bureau sent the B team because we were busy. Oh god, I dodged a serious bullet."_

 _"_ _Yeah, thank god Matthew Baker didn't."_

 _The pair break out in laughter at Emily's lame attempt at a joke. They were happiest when they were together, and the wine sure didn't help._

 _When the laughter dies down Hotch looks across the table with a meaningful glance. "What will you name your children?" The simple question has a loaded meaning._

 _The look he gives her takes her breath away. It takes a few seconds for her to answer. "Honestly I think I would name my daughter after JJ. But I've always liked the name Amelia."_

 _Hotch smiles at her "I think Amelia is a beautiful name."_

"Matthew Baker! Garcia check for the last known address of Matthew Baker."

"Who is Matthew Baker?"

Reid begins to bounce with energy as he realizes what his boss is getting at "Matthew Baker was a serial killer that killed 10 women 7 years ago. He lived in…."

"Adamstown, Maryland."

Derek stands up quickly "The blank fathers name on the birth certificate. It's Matthew Baker. He taught them everything they needed to know to torture a woman, even if they didn't realize he was their father."

"Garica what's the address?"

"7698 Oak Street, Adamstown Maryland."

"This is it, this is where she is. Morgan go get Richardson and round up as many officers as you can find. I know it's late so the swat team will take longer than usual but we aren't waiting. Call an ambulance and have them meet us there. Garcia stay here and stay on the line to update us on Emily and the unsub. JJ tell Richard and Elizabeth what is happening. Let's suit up and ship out."

Within five minutes the team is geared up and ready to go.

As they leave the precinct the rain pours down on them heavier than ever before. The night is warm and it is reminiscent of a jungle.

The crowd of reporters are still there and still just as hungry to get any information.

As Hotch passes one steps in front of his path. "Agent Hotchner is it true that the unsub might be sexual…"

Before he can stop himself Hotch grabs onto the reporters jacket and shoves him against the wall. "I've had a very long couple of days so excuse me if I am not as diplomatic as I could be. If you ever, ever, run a story that even has anything to do with Emily Prentiss and sexual assault I will end your career, I will ruin you." Without waiting for a response Hotch grabs the camera out of his hands and throws it to the ground.

Now, he was ready to get Emily back.

* * *

 _Baker_

 _Baker_

 _Baker_

 _Baker_

 _Why does that name ring such a bell?_

It had been in her head ever since Thomas had whispered it to her. Not that she had really been thinking about it, but every once in a while it floats back into her head.

You know, when she's not thinking how much she wants to die.

The realization that she craved death had surprised her. She never thought that she would experience that emotion, that wanting to be gone from this earth.

It had come about slowly, but now it's all she can think about. She doesn't care if she lives or dies, and honestly she would prefer if she dies.

Then she wouldn't have to live with this for the rest of her life, then she wouldn't have to feel this pain. This emotional and physical pain.

The barn door opens and her stomach drops. She doesn't want to keep fighting anymore, there's absolutely no fight in her left.

"Hi Emily," Patrick walks over to her and sits on top of the table. "I can't stop thinking about you. I can't stop thinking about losing you, it's driving me crazy. And I think I've found a solution."

Emily moves her eyes up to meet his, no emotion left in the dark brown.

"What would you say to a little vacation? Maybe Cuba or Russia, somewhere where the United States can't file for extradition. Then we could live together, forever. What do you say?"

In that moment Emily saw her future flash before her eyes. He would rape her every night, she would get pregnant, she would have to play house, and she would never be free of him.

Ever.

She doesn't answer, simply moves her eyes away from his and back to the wall above the camera.

"What do you think about it, Emily?"

She could agree and go abroad with him. She could agree and kill herself before they even got on the plane. She could agree and wait him out long enough until the team arrived.

Or she could disagree and piss him off. And then he would devolve and take his anger out on her. And then she would be free.

"No. I don't want to fucking go anywhere with you. I don't love you, I never will, no one ever will." She looks back to him and spits in his face.

The change within him is instant. He climbs on top of her and roughly presses his mouth against hers, bruising her lips in the process.

When he moves back he looks her in the eyes and squeezes her face roughly on both sides. "Give up, Emily. Tell me you give up."

Tears leak out of her eyes as she looks back up at him. "I give up."

* * *

 **So I know this chapter jumped around a lot but it was necessary I hope y'all don't mind. Also I spent literally ALL DAY (sober) writing this because it was a record number of reviews and I really wanted to treat you guys:) dont worry everything works out in the end. I am going away for a week so I dont know when I'll have time to write but again I will never give up on this story! Review pls pls pls**


	22. Rescue Emily

**HELLOOOOOO EVERYONE! FIRST AND FOREMOST I WANT TO APOLOGIZE FOR TAKING SO LONG TO UPDATE. I dropped my laptop off a balcony. And by that I mean I LITERALLY DROPPED MY LAPTOP OFF A BALCONY. So sorry about that, also school is starting again so that slows me down as well. I didn't mean to leave you on a cliffhanger for so long so my b. Also to address a comment: sometimes I do not say who is talking because it gets incredibly repetitive and takes away from the flow of dialogue. Also if you recognize some lines I lifted some things from other shows (bones) lets be honest I love romantic muses. Also the second scene might get kind of confusing but Garcia will be talking over the headset in italics and she will be saying whatever Patrick says in bold.**

* * *

The pouring rain assaults the agents as soon as they leave the station. The harsh conditions do nothing to deter them, however.

They had one thing on their mind: finding Emily.

Each wears a strong mask of determination. Under the mask lays fear and anxiety.

"JENNIFER!"

JJ has half of her body into the car when she hears her name being called. Hesitantly she removes herself from the car and searchers for the source of the call.

"JENNIFER!" Robert shoves his way through the crowd of reporters and halts at JJ's feet. As soon as she is in arms reach he latches onto her and pulls her towards him.

His grip is powerful and JJ stumbles slightly to catch her feet.

"JJ let's go!" Derek roars over the sound of the pouring rain.

The blonde turns back to Derek but a sharp tug has her focusing back on the man hanging onto her.

"Let me come, please God let me come."

The desperation in his eyes is unlike anything she has ever seen before. His blue eyes move back and forth wildly as they search hers for an answer.

Water droplets fall off of her face as she shakes her head. "Robert you know I can't do that."

"Jennifer please." Robert shakes her arm once for emphasis and grips her tiny arm tighter.

"JJ come on!"

"Robert I can't. I have to go, please let me go." JJ tries to shake off the older mans hands. His hands remain latched around her bicep.

"You bring her back to me Jennifer. You bring her back!"

Elizabeth pushes her way to her ex-husbands side and grabs onto his hand. "Let her go Robert, she needs to go get our daughter."

At the sound of his ex wives voice, Robert immediately drops his hands.

"I will bring your daughter home." JJ's voice is filled with determination as she looks back and forth between Robert and Elizabeth "I will bring Emily home." JJ nods her head and gets in the SUV behind her.

Robert and Elizabeth watch the two SUV's s well as about a dozen cop cars and two large SWAT vehicles depart the precinct parking lot.

"I can't wait, the waiting is killing me." Elizabeth turns to her ex husband and grabs his suit jacket in her hands. "I can't wait."

"Liz are you kidding? Waiting? Let's go, I'll drive."

* * *

"What''s happening Garcia?" Hotch drives forty miles over the speed limit with hands clenched around the steering wheel.

 _"_ _She's just laying there, sir. No sign of Patrick or Thomas Young."_

"Rossi how far are we?"

Rossi checks his watch from the SVU just ahead of Hotch's. "ten minutes away."

"Let's make it five."

Rossi drives with Reid while Hotch drives with Derek and JJ.

"Statistically speaking, the location is 13 miles…"

"Kid" Derek barks out into the ear piece. His tone of voice told Reid everything he needed to know.

"Sorry."

 _"_ _Guys, Patrick just walked into the barn."_

Hotch's stomach drops. "Garcia is there anyway to feed the sound from the camera's into our ear pieces?"

 _"_ _No sir, we'd have to cross the….."_

"Okay that's okay Garcia. Whatever he says you have to say over the line. You have to tell us everything he's doing and everything he's saying. Can you do that, Garcia?"

There's a slight pause over the earpiece _"yes sir. He's talking now, here we go."_

 ** _"_** ** _Hi Emily, I can't stop thinking about you. I can't stop thinking about losing you, it's driving me crazy. And I think I've found a solution."_**

 _"_ _He's sitting on top of the table."_

"A solution? What the hell is he talking about?" Derek looks over to Hotch and notices his hands tightening around the wheel.

"Rossi?"

"seven minutes."

 _"_ ** _What would you say to a little vacation? Maybe Cuba or Russia, somewhere where the United States can't file for extradition. Then we could live together, forever. What do you say?"_**

"Make it four Rossi!" Hotch clenches his teeth and steps further onto the gas pedal. The trees go zooming by as Hotch presses farther and farther down onto the acceleration.

"Hotch slow down!" JJ puts a light hand on his shoulder "we can't get to her if we're dead!"

"What's Emily doing, Garcia?" Rossi looks down at his speedometer and then at his rearview mirror. "Aaron I swear to god if you don't slow down you're going to run me off the road!"

"So drive faster" Hotch barks into his earpiece.

 _"_ _She's just laying there. Wait now she's talking."_

 ** _"_** ** _No. I don't want to fucking go anywhere with you. I don't love you, I never will, no one ever will."_**

 _"_ _she just spit at him!"_

"Why the hell is she egging him on?"

"She wants it to end" Reid speaks quietly from the other car "she wants him to get angry and take it out on her."

"Rossi?"

"Five out."

 _"_ _He's on top of her."_

 ** _"_** ** _Give up, Emily. Tell me you give up."_**

"Guys…" JJ looks around the car with fear wavering her voice. She knows what is about to happen. She doesn't know how, she just knows.

 _"_ _she gave up. She said she gives up."_

* * *

"You give up?" The unsub steps back from her and looks her up and down, surprise lighting up his eyes.

"y yes" Emily stutters, realization of what she had just said dawning on her. "Yes. I give up." There is a finality to her voice that surprises even herself.

She closes her eyes and lays her head back on the table, tears leaking out of her eyes.

 _I … give up_

 _I give up_

 _It'll all be over soon_

"You give up. I guess we'll have to cancel those international plans. Maybe in another life." The unsub squeezes her face in his rough hands and lays a bruising kiss to her lips.

With the grace of a baby giraffe, he climbs off of her and crosses the room.

Emily tilts her head to the left and for the first time she looks right into the camera. Tears leak out of her eyes as she stares into the lens. "I'm so sorry" she mouthes silently into the camera.

A quiet alarm sounds from the general direction of the unsub and he groans in disgust. "I have something I have to do right now but I'll be right back baby, don't go anywhere." He trails a finger down her body as he walks in the opposite direction and leaves the barn.

As soon as the lock clicks behind him Emily lets out a choked sob and begins to breathe heavily.

Without moving her eyes from the camera she shakes her head and opens her mouth to speak. "I'm so so so sorry. I'm not strong enough. I can't do this."

A sob leaves her lips as she tries her hardest to limit the heart breaking sounds coming from her. She has to get through this, she has to say what she needs to say. They deserve that much.

Emily shakes her head and sucks in a choking breath. "i know that you all did everything in your power to find me. I don't want you to blame yourselves. This wasn't anyone's faul but my own. I can't make it out of her alive…. I w won't make it out of her alive."

With a final burst of strength Emily fights against her restraints one last time. A strangled cry leaves her lips as she falls back onto the table. She screams in frustration at the binds holding her captive.

Her chest heaves with exertion and her entire body throbs with the worst pain imaginable.

Emily turns her head back to the camera. "mom, dad: I'm sorry I was never the daughter you wanted me to b b be. I'm sorry that I only saw you on holidays and that I didn't try harder to maintain our relationships. I'm sorry for all of the pain that I hav caused you. I love you both. Don't turn away from each other, support each other."

A strangled sob leaves her lips and she bites her cheek until she bleeds. The goodbyes were only going to get harder from here.

Rossi, Derek, Reid, JJ, and Garcia: I've never known it was possible to have a non biological family before I met you all. Rossi you w w were the father figure that I never knew I needed. Whenever I needed a shoulder to lean on you were there, no questions asked. If I had a problem you helped me, if I had a decision to make you helped me solve it. I l l love you, I honestly and truly do. Take all of the wine and liquor in my house to stock your collection. Think of me whenever you're drinking it, I'm sure I'll be r r right beside you."

A cough wracks her tiny frame.

"Derek you're the b b brother I never had and the only partner I would ever want. I've never joked around with someone as much as I have with you. Don't lose your sense of humor. Don't keep your heart locked in a box forever, handsome. D d don't let your past define your future. I want you to take all of my boxing equipment and you can keep pretending that you can beat me."

"Reid I don't even know how to say goodbye to you. I know you're going take this harder than the rest of them but don't beat yourself u u up too much. No one could have prevented this, not even that big beautiful brain of yours. Not everything is rational, not e e everything makes sense. I want you to have all of my books."

She begins to shake uncontrollably.

"Penelope Garcia I don't even have enough words to describe you." Emily laughs as tears continue to pour down her f f face. "PG you are the absolute light of my life. If I ever was feeling down you would lift me up effortlessly in only a way you could. P p please don't let this dull your extraordinary smile. Love you forever and always. Take care of Sergio, okay?

Emily lets out a deep breath and winces as pain wracks through her body.

"JJ, you're my s s sister. I mean it in every sense of the word, you are my honest to god sister. Growing up I didn't have a lot of friends who were girls. I used to think there was something wrong with me. None of those child h h hhood insecurities exist when we're together. Tell Henry that I love him very much and that aunt Emily will see him very soon. JJ I want you to have my Yale sweaters that you love so much. Hell take all of my clothes. I don't think I'll b b be needing them."

A horrible sob leaves her lips and her chest heaves with the burden of her goodbyes.

"Hotch, Aaron, I promised myself that I would tell you this in person the next time I got a chance. It looks like that chance will never come." Emily closes her eyes and takes a shaky breath "I've spent my l l life constructing these walls around my heart and all it took was one look from you to break them down. From the moment I saw you I knew, and I think you did too. It was like floating after spending my life on the bottom of the ocean with stones in my pockets. It was like seeing after living my life blind. We spent too m m much of our lives ignoring the fact that we were meant to be together, but it's too late now. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I saw her, I saw her Aaron. Amelia, in a dream, and she was beautiful. She was absolutely gorgeous. She had y y your smile." Emily laughs through her tears "she had your smile, Aaron."

She knows her speech is all over the place and that she sounds completely crazy but she doesn't care. She's moments away from the end. The memory of their baby name conversation had been on her mind during her captivity and she had to let him know that she saw her.

"Why does it make me so happy that every time I try to sneak a peak at you y y you're already looking at me? I love you" Emily laughs and shakes her head "I love you all. I…"

The lock on the door begins to jiggle and Emily immediately quiets down and snaps her head back so she is looking at the ceiling. She had said everything she wanted to, and now she is ready to go.

The door swings open and Emily keeps her head in place.

"I just came to say goodbye." Thomas crosses into the room and stands by the side of the table awkwardly.

"Bye" Emily says with absolutely no emotion in her voice. She was so tired of being so damn emotional.

"I'm s….. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything to stop this. I wish I could change his mind and free you and…."

"Stop him?" Emily moves her eyes to lock with his "I don't want to stop him. I asked him to do this."

"Oh Emily….." Thomas lowers himself to her level and gently cups her cheek. "I will be here with you until the end, okay? You aren't alone, I won't leave you alone."

His words strangely comforted her in exactly the way she needed to be comforted. She had lived her entire life alone, she didn't want to die alone too.

Emily nods her head and moves her face deeper into his hands, drawing strength from the warmth his palm offered.

The thought of being alone terrified her more than the thought of dying.

For the time being Emily could pretend his hand was Hotch's. She could pretend she was among friends.

The barn doors open once again.

"Are you ready, Emily?"

"Yes, I'm ready."

Before Emily knows what is happening the binds around her wrists and ankles are unbuckled and she is being tugged off of the table.

The instant her feet touch the ground, she begins to sway and fall in the opposite direction. Her arms and legs sting from the cuts and more and more black dots swarm her vision with each second.

"woah woah woah" the unsub snakes his arms around her waist and absorbs her weight. He carefully leads her to a corner of the barn and sets her down.

She collapses onto the ground and breathes heavily, her face resting against the cold tile. The world spins as she tries to pry open her eyes.

The sound of metal chains clinking catches her attention and she moves her eyes upwards just in the to see the unsub grab a large hook from the ceiling and pulls it down closer to her.

Thomas grabs onto her forearms and lifts her off of the ground while Patrick grabs her hands and wraps them in a rope around the hook.

The men position her body so that she kneels on the ground with her hands above her head tied on the hook.

Emily lets out a pitiful moan as her head lulls to the side and her body tilts slightly, her wrists straining against the cold metal.

The rope cuts even deeper into the raw skin around her wrists.

Patrick steps forward and positions her head so that it is straight on her shoulders. He moves the stray hair out of her eyes and stares at her. "Are you ready, Emily?"

The world continues to spin as she fights to stay conscious. The short walk over had drained her more than she thought possible. "y y yes." Her eyes bulge wide as she repeatedly forces them open.

A knife appears in the corner of her eye as Patrick brings it closer to her neck.

Emily looks past him and all around at her surroundings. This had been her hell on earth, her confinement for the past few days. It had been her living nightmare.

This really was the end.

Just past Patrick stands Thomas staring intently at her.

Emily locks eyes with the man and nods. She isn't alone, she isn't going to die alone.

* * *

The SUV's pull up to the driveway and all agents throw open the doors. The driveway is steep and graveled.

Rain pours down in buckets.

The agents had agreed on the way that they would park at the end of the driveway and run up the hill. If they had driven up to the house they risked scaring the brothers and killing Emily inadvertently.

Hotch turns to the other officers "We go first and radio if we need backup understood? If we scare them she is dead do. you. understand?"

"Yes sir" the closest officer barks back.

"Let's go!"

Without another word all five agents take off sprinting up the hill. All have their guns in their hands locked and loaded.

The gravel crunches under their feet and every few seconds an agent slips under the shifting ground.

Mud pools under their feet as the rain continues to beat down from above.

JJ tries to dodge a puddle but ends up stumbling and nearly falling into Hotch. She wasn't wearing her normal duty clothes because of her doctors wishes, and her sweatpants and Yale sweatshirt cling heavily to her small frame.

She shouldn't be running so soon after being hurt but no on tried to stop her.

Without a word Hotch absorbs her weight and sets her back upright. Seconds later they take off running again.

Derek leads the charge with Hotch and JJ slightly behind him. Rossi is mere feet behind them while Reid makes up the end of the line.

After several intense minutes of running the house comes into sight.

 _"_ _Emily is saying her goodbyes you guys need to HURRY."_ Garcia shrieks from her side of the screen. Tears leak down her face as she watches her friend.

"LETS GO!" Hotch speeds past Derek and takes the lead.

Each agent picks up the speed and they pass the house without a second thought. They tear through the woods in search of the barn.

All that can be heard is the panting of breath and the squishing of the ground as feet connect with the wet forest floor.

 _"_ _GUYS HE'S GOING TO….."_

Out of nowhere Hotch breaks into a clearing and sees the barn just up ahead. Without waiting for everyone else to catch up he shoots the lock and breaks down the door.

It was irrational of him not to survey the scene and make a plan of action but he didn't care. All he cares about is that she is in that building right in front of him.

Facing him is Emily kneeling on the ground with her hands above her head on a hook. Blood trickles down her arms arms and legs. Bruises litter her entire frame and her head lulls slightly to the side.

Patrick Young takes one look back at Hotch and then turns back to Emily. With a quick motion he cuts her throat and takes off running in the opposite direction.

"NO." Hotch sprints towards Emily, not caring which way Thomas and Patrick run. He drops onto his knees right in front of her.

Emily makes a horrible gurgling sound and her head drops back, hair covering her face.

"God no, no." In a quick motion Hotch raises her tied hands above the hook and brings her down onto the ground with him. Her body weight leans entirely against his as he tries his best to absorb the drop to the ground.

"WE NEED A MEDIC IN HERE!" Hotch screams at the top of his lungs and looks around for any member of the team.

JJ sprints into the room and drops down next to her boss. "Oh my god, oh my god. IS SHE OKAY?"

"JJ get a medic." Hotch lays Emily on her back and rips off his bullet proof vest. Effortlessly, Hotch rips off a sleeve of his shirt and begins to gently tie it around her neck to stop the bleeding.

"How deep is the cut, of my god he cut her throat. He fucking cut her throat" JJ presses her hands against the wound in an effort to do anything to help.

"JJ GET A MEDIC."

"ROSSI IS DOING IT."

Derek runs into the barn. "They got away, I have no idea how but they got away." He bends over temporarily from exhaustion until he spots Emily on the ground and runs over to the trio on the floor.

Emily's eyes flitter open and close just as quickly.

"Emily stay with me, Emily stay with me damnit! I need you, I can't live without you! Emily PLEASE." Hotch lets out a choked sob and gently gets the hair out of her eyes. "I promise I'll wake up with you for morning runs and I'll make the coffee as strong as you want. Emily, Emily please."

Reid runs up "the ambulance can't get up the driveway, it's too steep and the gravel is sliding because of the rain."

"WHAT?" Hotch whips around the face the younger agent. "We can't wait for them to figure it out. Emily needs medical attention now!"

"There's nothing we can do Hotch we have to wait." Derek gently traces Emily's face with his pointer finger.

"Fuck that." Hotch puts his right arm under Emily's neck and his left arm under her legs. He begins to lift her until Rossi puts a hand on his arm.

"Aaron she could have a spinal injury."

"I don't give a damn about a spinal injury. I can deal with her being paralyzed I can't deal with her being dead." Hotch shakes off the older mans hand and lifts Emily up into the air.

As soon as Hotch is standing he runs through the entrance of the barn and back into the woods.

The rain drenches Emily as soon as they step out and he tries to shield her from the harsh conditions as much as possible.

She feels feather light in his arms and he has no trouble running through the forest and jumping over fallen logs that stand in his way.

Her ribs protrude from her skin and Hotch has to fight the anger that swells inside him. Her almost naked body is covered in cuts and bruises and it has him seeing red.

His legs carry him without his brain registering where he is going. All of his thoughts are on the woman he carries in his arms.

The color of the trees go by in a blur as he sprints through he forest.

"You have to stay with me Emily. I love you, I love you Emily Prentiss and I cannot lose you. I want to do everything on earth will you."

The flashing lights of the sirens can be seen and it makes Hotch run faster than he had ever run before.

"You're doing so good sweetheart we're almost to the ambulance. Stay with me a little longer, okay?"

Emily lulls her head to the side and tries to speak. The only sound that can be heard is a blood chilling gurgle.

"Don't try to talk, it's okay. It's okay."

The ambulance comes into view and Hotch runs right towards it.

"I'VE GOT HER, I'VE GOT HER. MOVE OUT OF THE WAY SHE NEEDS MEDICAL ATTENTION."

Stray agents immediately clear out of the way.

Paramedics run towards him with a gurney at the ready.

"He cut her throat. You need to fix her NOW."

"You shouldn't have moved her she could have a spinal injury!"

Hotch sets her down on the gurney and looks at the paramedic who had spoken to him "I JUST SAVED HER LIFE DAMNIT, I JUST DID YOUR JOB!"

"Sir step back!"

"I'm not leaving her!" Hotch fights off the hand that had landed on her shoulder.

"If you want us to do our job we need you to step back!"

Derek comes from out of the blue and pulls his boss backwards. "Let them work Hotch!" He pulls his boss back several feet until all they can see is a swarm of paramedics around her.

Hotch pushes Derek off of him and turns the opposite direction. He runs his hands over his face and blows out a breath. They found her. She's alive.

"She's crashing! We need to leave now!" The paramedics load her into the ambulance and close one door.

Without waiting for permission Hotch runs and climbs into the ambulance. No one tries to stop him.

The other door to the ambulance closes and it drives off with a screech and sirens.

"Derek" JJ cries weakly. The stress of the past few days weighing her down so incredibly much.

JJ walks to the other agent slowly and immediately he envelopes her in his big arms. Her body shakes as she sobs openly into his arms.

"shhh it's okay, she's going to be okay. Let's get into the car and go to the hospital okay?" He leans back and wipes the tears off of his face. "Where are Rossi and Reid?"

They're still…."

"JENNIFER!" Robert runs over to the pair of agents with Elizabeths hand gripped in her own. "What happened is she okay?"

JJ wipes the tears off of her face and opens her mouth.

"Oh god, oh my god." Elizabeth staggers back into Robert. "Oh my god."

"She's alive" Derek steps forward and places a gentle hand on her arm "your daughter is alive."

* * *

 **Okay wow some heavy stuff. Review if you liked it or if you hated it just review if you want to! They really do keep me going :)**


	23. alternate

**SOOOOOOO i got three reviews on my last chapter…. Three. I actually poured my heat and soul in that chapter and I got literally THREE reviews. That actually hurts my heart. I guess I suck at writing. Ok. sad. I feel like (and heres the tea sis) worse stories get a million reviews and im? I am literally so thankful for all you guys tho! Hearts hearts hearts. Ok ok but in all reality thank you dauntlessfourever , PAGET, and zhangxinna for taking time to review :) xoxo you guys make my heart happy. Also give me some creative breathing room in this chapter. It's a little out there but yo if you've seen a specific episode of bones / greys then you already knowwww. Also I love JJ and hotch's brother sister relationship so I'm going to play it up and have them watch out for each other.**

* * *

The ambulance sirens scream as the vehicle makes its way closer to the hospital. Police vehicles flank the car on all sides.

Cars in the surrounding lanes hastily get out of the way of the rolling vehicles.

Red lights are ran, blinkers are neglected.

"Is she going to be okay?" Hotch stands over Emily's unconscious form with his hands grabbing at his hair in anxiety. The last time he had been this stressed was when Haleys life was on the line.

And he knows how that ended up.

"Sir I need you to get back!" The dark haired paramedic forcefully pushes Hotch away from the gurney Emily is strapped onto.

Hotch stumbles backwards until he collides with a metal shelving unit filled to the brim with medical supplies. Instead of getting angry he simply readjusts himself and crosses back over to Emily, completely ignoring the paramedic.

It wasn't the first time Hotch had gotten in their way during the ride and it definitely wasn't going to be the last. He understood why they were getting frustrated with him, but he wasn't going to get angry back.

After all, how could he be angry with Emily in arms reach? He had been waiting for what felt like years to see her again.

As gently as possible, Hotch laces his fingers with Emilys and crouches down next to her to whisper in her ear. "You have to fight this Em. I know you can do it, I've seen you do it. It's okay that you gave up back there, I understand it. But sweetheart right now I need you to fight."

A single tear streaks down his face and he kisses her hand gently. "Please don't leave me, Emily. I can't lose you." He shakes his head and sniffles. "I won't lose you."

"we're fifteen minutes away, agent." The paramedic looks down at Hotch with pity in his eyes, anger forgotten.

Hotch nods and looks back at Emily and places a piece of hair behind her ear. "I need you to know…"

All of a sudden there's a pressure against his hand. Hotch whips his head to look at their adjoined hands and then looks back at her face. "Emily?"

Another squeeze.

"Oh thank god." Hotch laughs as he drops his head down onto her hand. He quickly stands up and looks down at her.

Emily fights to open her eyes. They flit open and closed under long black lashes. Finally she opens them all the way up and gazes up at Hotch. "H…"

Her voice is muffled under the oxygen mask and her tortured throat.

Hotch laughs and cups her cheek in his hand, tears falling down his face. "I'm right here, I'm right here."

"I…."

"Ma'am I am going to have to ask you to stop talking." The dark haired paramedic reappears and moves towards her with gauze in his hands.

The change in Emily is instant. As the paramedic nears she shakes her head violently, eyes wide and full off fear. She begins to fight against her restraints, thrashing her arms and legs in multiple directions.

Luckily she is strapped down to the gurney under her so she doesn't do any real damage.

"Emily, Emily you need to calm down." Hotch stands over her and hesitates. If he tries to hold her down he risked scaring her even more, but if he didn't she could hurt herself more than she already has.

Before Hotch can act paramedics flank her on all sides and press her arms and legs down against the gurney.

A terrified scream tears out of her lips and her crazed movements increase.

The erratic sound of the heart monitor draws Hotch's attention to the monitor.

 _Beep._

 _Beep._

 _Beep._

 _Beeeeeeeeeep._

Nothing.

"She's flat lining."

A flurry of movement dances around Emily and forces Hotch back and away from her side.

"Charge to 200."

A blonde paramedic rubs two paddles together and brings them towards Emily's body. "clear!"

Emily's body jumps inches off of the table as the electricity flows through her body in an attempt to restart her heart.

"Emily! Emily come on, you have to fight!" Hotch stands off to the side feeling more helpless than he had ever felt before. Each time he tries to get closer to her side the paramedics force him back.

"Clear!"

* * *

 _Emily opens her eyes slowly. The sunlight burns her eyes and she shuts them automatically._

 _When was the last time she had been outside?_

 _Where was she?_

 _There's a soft breeze that whispers in the grass around her and brushes her hair lightly into her face. The grass cushions her as she rolls from her right side so that she is sitting with her feet under her._

 _With confused hands she brushes the grass around her to test its realness. She isn't supposed to be here. She doesn't know why, she just know's she doesn't belong._

 _Her movements are slow and calculated, as if she has to move this way._

 ** _Am I injured?_**

 _Emily looks down at her body and her brow furrows even further. She's wearing an elaborate blood red gown. "What the hell…?" She picks up the satin fabric and sets it back down. It's touch is familiar._

 _It's as if she can feel time rewinding, as if she somehow feels younger than she was supposed to._

 _A bird chirps somewhere nearby and for the first time Emily looks around at her surroundings. She's in field of rolling hills and picturesque mountains. There is a lake several feet to her left. A large mansion looms hundreds of yards away from her._

 _This place is strangely familiar but she can't quite figure out why. It's at the very back of her mind, as if it is a repressed memory._

 ** _Wait, it this a memory? What the hell is going on?_**

 _Slowly and carefully, Emily moves her feet from under her and stands up. She rises on wobbly legs and it takes her a few seconds to find her footing. Her heels poke through the grass and she angrily rips them off and throws them._

 _With a frustrated sigh he begins to walk in the general direction of the mansion._

 ** _Maybe whoever lives there can tell me what's happening._**

 _Emily walks for a few minutes before she notices a figure standing just by the lake._

 _They are far away from Emily, but already she can tell the figure is a man. He wears a dark blue suit paired with brown shoes._

 _"_ _Hello?" Her voice is hoarse as she calls to the man to get his attention._

 _He turns his head slightly towards her, and Emily can feel her heart stop. Blood pumps through her body, goosebumps cover her skin._

 ** _It can't be._**

 _Without thinking she lifts up her long dress and begins to run towards him. The fabric is heavy in her hands but the only thing she can focus on at the moment is getting to him. That's all that matters._

 _It's a scene out of a movie._

 _"_ _Matthew!" Emily screams his name as she barrels towards him. Without warning she launches herself into his arms._

 _He catches her gracefully and squeezes her tightly._

 _The pair remain latched together for several moments until she finally lets him go._

 _Matthew places her back down on the ground carefully, but doesn't move away from her. "I've missed you, Emily."_

 _A single tear falls down her face and he gracefully swipes it off of her face. He holds his face with her hands._

 _"_ _Matthew what's happening? Where are we?" She trembles in his touch._

 _"_ _Emily Prentiss, are you afraid?" Matthew clicks his tongue and shakes his head, a smile on his face._

 _Emily shakes her head and removes his hands from her face. "I'm being serious, Matthew." She turns around and takes in her surroundings again._

 _"_ _It's complicated."_

 _She turns back towards him with her eyebrow raised "it's complicated?"_

 _Matthew nods his head in the direction of the lake "take a walk with me."_

 _Their hands intertwine automatically and they begin to walk towards the large body of water. The air is warm and comforting, the breeze cool and refreshing._

 _The sound of her dress sliding against the dress is a comforting sound, the feel of her barefoot against the grass doing the same._

 _"_ _Does any of this look familiar?" Matthew sweeps his hand in a grand gesture to their surroundings._

 _"_ _Extremely, but I can't put it together. This place, you, this dress" Emily lifts the fabric up and places it back down for emphasis "I'm so confused, Matthew."_

 _"_ _I know you are, and I'm sorry but it's only going to get worse." With gentle hands, Matthew guides her to the edge of the lake._

 _"_ _Wha…..?" Emily looks into the water and jumps back several feet._

 _Matthew is behind her to gently push her back toward the water._

 _"_ _Matthew?"_

 _"_ _Sh sh sh, just look and I'll explain everything."_

 _Emily takes a deep breath and looks back at the waters surface. Instead of seeing her face staring back at her, she see's a scene that she can't understand._

 _There is no sound, but it doesn't take away from the gravity of the situation. Hotch stands to the right of the scene, pacing back and forth and yelling as he tries to get closer to the center of attention._

 _A flurry of movement centers around a still figure strapped down to a gurney._

 _The figure is her._

 _Emily steps back and walks away from the edge "Matthew what is happening" she cries as she grips her hair with her hands. Memories and life moments bounce around in her head, are they hers?_

 _"_ _Emily….. you're dead."_

* * *

The ambulance doors fly open. Paramedics lift the gurney out of the ambulance and quickly place it on the pavement.

"42 year old female, severe internal bleeding….." The dark haired paramedic lists off several of Emily's medical afflictions.

Hotch hops out of the ambulance behind the paramedics. He runs in line with her, keeping his hand intertwined with Emily's. "You've got to fight, Emily. You've got to beat this! I need you, I'm sorry I didn't realize it before!"

"Hotch!" Derek and JJ run up behind him and continue running next to him as the paramedics push the gurney towards the hospitals entrance.

One look from either of the agents silenced the paramedics who tried to oppose their position at Emily's side.

As soon as they cross the threshold the agents get lost in the chaos.

"Her pulse is back!"

"Get her into an OR 3 now!"

"Does anyone know her blood type?"

"What is her name?"

Doctors swarm around the gurney and push the three agents back. Hotch fights for his position at her side as he answers all relevant material.

A pair of male interns join the swarm of doctors and look down at Emily's still figure.

"Holy shit what happened to her?"

 _"_ It looks like someone threw her into a blender. Good think her face is still generally untouched."

"Even if it was messed up I'd still want to hit that, I mean do you see that body?"

Without warning Hotch grabs onto the intern closest to him and cocks his fist.

"Hotch stop!" JJ grabs onto his fist and sets a gentle hand on his bicep. "Let them take care of her. If you kill one of them I'll have to arrest you and Emily will be no ones first priority. Let him go."

The intern looks back in forth between them with wild eyes. "I am so sorry man I didn't see you there. Are you her boyfriend? I am so sorry I didn't mean."

Hotch takes a fistful of his shirt and brings the younger man close to his face. "I want you off her case, I want you as far away from her as possible. If I even see you anywhere near her room I will end you. Do I make myself clear?"

The younger man nods hastily and looks back and forth between Hotch and JJ.

"I'd go before he kills you" JJ puts a smirk on her pretty face "or him" she nods her head behind the intern where Derek stands with his arms crossed. He had heard the heinous remarks too.

The intern takes one look at both male agents and takes off in the opposite direction, grabbing the other intern on the way out.

"What now?" JJ asks looking incredibly small. Her sweats are baggy on her small frame and her voice is fragile.

"We wait" Derek sighs "Does anyone want a coffee?"

JJ and Hotch nod their head numbly.

A faint headache pounds against Hotch's skull. He had hit his head in the blast, and now that Emily was in arms reach he begins to feel the effects.

"Get seven, Rossi and Reid will be here eventually and I left Robert and Elizabeth somewhere outside in the crowd."

Derek nods "I'll go tell someone about the interns on my way, something needs to be done about them."

"Thank you" Hotch nods in Dereks direction.

"No problem" Derek walks out of the ER in search of what he needs.

JJ sighs and runs her fingers loosely through her hair "I'll go find Elizabeth and Robert and tell them where we'll be." She begins to walk away, a slight limp hindering her normally graceful movements.

"JJ?"

"Yeah?"

"You need to take your pain medication, that's an order."

The blonde turns around with a grimace on her face. "I can't, it makes my head all fuzzy." She brings her hands up around her head in emphasis.

"I know, but you need to take it. We'll be waiting for a while, dullness to sensitivity might do you some good."

JJ nods simply and walks off.

* * *

Bright lights go by overhead as she cracks her eyes open. Whatever she is laying on is moving fast, so fast her vision blurs.

There is faraway shouting. She knows she should try and pay attention to it, but she feels like she's underwater.

Everything sounds as it is a thousand miles away.

A face obstructs her view of the ceiling. His lips move and his eyes are wide but she cannot decipher what he is saying.

"Ma'am can you hear me?"

"Can you tell me how you're feeling?"

"We need extra hands on deck, tell doctor Montgomery to scrub in!"

"We're loosing her!"

"She has no pulse!"

Her eyes close.

 _Moments later they open again._

 _Her hands are balled up into her hair, Matthew stands facing her with his back to the lake. Birds chirp overhead and grass whistles in the breeze._

 _"_ _Emily….. you're dead."_

 _"_ _I'm….dead?"_

 _"_ _Well, you're in limbo if you want to get technical."_

 _"…_ _..limbo?"_

 _"_ _The place in-between life and death."_

 _Emily shakes her head and drops her hands by her side. "I don't understand what's happening Matthew. What happened to me?"_

 _A sigh escapes his lips and he moves towards her. He motions for her to take his hand and the pair begin to walk around the lake. "You were taken. After several days of torture you gave up, and he cut your throat."_

 _Emily's hand immediately touches her neck. The skin is rough and scabbed in contrast to its usual soft nature. The touch has memories flitting past her eyes, days pass in seconds and she has to relive her worse moments._

 _Under the weight of the pain, Emily's legs buckle and she falls to the ground landing ungracefully on her knees._

 _Tears instantly prick her eyes and fall down her face. She didn't know what to do with all of this pain. It weighs her down, it slows her breath. Gravity feels…. heavier._

 _As if he can read her mind, Matthew speaks. "I'm here to help you, Em" he lowers himself down to her level and takes her hands "you have a say in the matter."_

 _"_ _In what matter?" Emily cries out as she across at him._

 _"_ _You can chose whether you want to live or die."_

* * *

Hours pass. They all sit in silence, a semicircle of melancholy.

Tick

Tock

Tick

Tock

Elizabeth and Robert sit side by side, their hands clutching onto the other for support. When one got up the other one followed.

Will and JJ sit in much of the same manner. He had rushed to the hospital as soon as JJ had called him. Penelope had jumped at the chase to watch him. The pair were in the hospital gift shop picking out gifts for Emily.

"Any news?" Rossi and Reid run into the room. The two had just finished processing the scene.

Hotch looks up at the pair and shakes his head in defeat. "Her heart stopped….twice. Once in the ambulance and once before they got her into surgery."

Elizabeth lets out a shuttering breath, in turn Robert clutches her hands tighter in his own.

"Elizabeth, Robert, would you want to maybe go get some coffee?" JJ looks over from her position next to Will with kind eyes. The team needed to talk, and they couldn't do it in front of her parents.

"I don't think….."

"Yes, of course." Robert lays a hand of his ex wife's shoulder to quiet her. The agent in him understood, though he didn't like it. "We'll be back in an hour or so."

Elizabeth doesn't look pleased but she doesn't argue. The pair exit the empty waiting room.

"Did you find them?" Morgan rubs his hands together and looks up at the two men standing.

Rossi opens his mouth to respond and closes it immediately. He didn't have the heart to say it out loud. Didn't have the heart to tell them that they had no idea where they were.

"I'll take that as a no." Morgan hangs his head and rubs his hands over his head. It wasn't a surprise, but it hurt.

Hotch stands from his seat and begins to pace "how did they get by us? Damnit, I was focused on Emily, this is on me." The agent goes back and forth across the row of seats.

"Hotch" JJ shakes her head at him. It wasn't anyones fault.

"It looks like one of the drains was fake. It had the grate appearance of all the others but it led to a tunnel instead. They were able to take off the cover, duck inside, and cover it back up when we were focused on Emily."

"You mean there was a way for her to escape the whole time?"

Reid nods.

"This is going to kill her" Hotch points off in the general direction of the operating room  
"when she finds out she could have gotten out the entire time it will ruin her."

"So what, we don't tell her?" JJ stares up at Hotch in disbelief.

"That's not what I'm saying…."

Morgan scoffs "we can't lie to her."

"That's not what I'm saying!" Hotch turns to the younger man and shoots him an aggravated look. "All I'm saying is that we need to be gentle when we tell her. She's been through enough."

"Emily Prentiss?" The same doctor that had performed surgery on JJ walks into the waiting room, surgical gown draped over her body. Exhaustion radiates off of her as she approaches the group.

The sudden addition to their group has everyone jumping out of their skin in shock, they hadn't even heard her approach them.

At once everyone rushes over to the red head, forming a semicircle around her.

Dr. Montgomery nods at JJ, Hotch, and Rossi. A small familiar smile graces her lips.

The three nod politely back. JJ smiles the brightest, if this woman fixed her up she could fix Emily up.

"How is she?" Hotch cuts to the chase, unable to take the pressure anymore.

"Alive, that's all I can say for now. She was touch and go throughout the entire procedure but we were finally able to stabilize her. The next 24 hours will be critical. If she makes it through that time there's a good chance her body will recover, but I cannot say how much. Truly, everything is up in the air right now."

"What about her" JJ stumbles over her words and points to the general direction of her neck.

"The cut was superficial. There is a large circulation of blood around that area, which is why she bled so much. There appears to be no damage to her vocal chords, but again we won't know until she wakes up."

"Thank you, doctor" Reid nods in her direction "can we see her?"

"She's under heavy sedation and won't be awake for hours, but I don't see the problem with it. I know you guys must really want to see her after so long."

The group collectively nods.

"One visitor at a time, and try not to disturb her as much as possible. She desperately needs this time to heal."

Doctor Montgomery nods curtly "one of you can follow me."

Hotch begins to move towards the doctor but JJ holds out her hand to stop him.

"Hotch, can I please go first? I just have some stuff I have to say." Her voice is shaking and Will strokes her face with his hand adoringly.

Hotch hesitates but eventually steps back and nods "please get me when you're finished."

Will drops his hand from her face and pushes her lightly towards doctor Montgomery. "I'll be here when you get back, darlin."

The two exit the waiting room. A faint "how are you feeling" is heard leaving dr. Montgomerys lips before they turn the corner and walk out of sight.

Their absence is felt immediately. The room is quiet and filled with uneasy tension.

"I'll go find Richard and Elizabeth" Reid backs awkwardly out of the room and turns down the hallway in search of the pair.

"Hotch, you should really get some sleep." Rossi claps a hand on his shoulder and squeezes it comfortingly. "Everyone else has gotten at least a few hours. Will you consider going back to the hospital?"

Hotch shakes his head sharply "I'm not leaving until Emily does. You guys should go to the hotel, I can call you when she's awake."

"No way man, if you stay we stay, at least until Emily wakes up. Will, you and JJ should take Henry back to the hotel with Penelope after JJ comes back."

Will starts to disagree.

"He's right" Hotch nods in the southern mans direction "you need to take your boy home and we know JJ needs the sleep with her injuries. Someone should take advantage of the hotel."

Will nods "thank you, sir."

"it's no problem" Hotch crosses the room and sits in the chair he had been in for hours.

 _Now we wait….. again._

* * *

 **Ok super sorry about the wait. Also, I know this is dramatic AF but people report this kind of thing when their heart stops so give me some leeway ok its an FF they're supposed to be dramatic. Also this chapter was going to be longer but I couldn't finish the scene and I just wanted to get it published for you guys so I just cut it out. PLS REIVEW.**


	24. Coming home

**_Hey guys and welcome back to another chapter! My life has gone to absolute shit lately so I'm sorry for not updating. I would love to do it more frequently but it really isn't possible. Thank you to everyone who reviewed my last chapter, I like to shout out specific users as a little thank you but it wont load anyones name RIP but you know who you are :) y'all make my week with reviews. On with the story…._**

* * *

 _Emily looks at Matthew for several seconds before her face breaks its serious expression and she begins to laugh. It sounds high pitched and incredulous as she rocks forward and places her hands in the grass for support._

 _"_ _Emily?" Matthew looks at her strangely "are you okay?"_

 _She just continues to shake her head and laugh, her face becoming red from the lack of oxygen. She can't remember the last time she had laughed so much._

 _"_ _What's so funny?"_

 _"_ _This" she gestures to the grasslands around them "I lost consciousness while my adrenal system was working overtime. My brain is trying to make sense of what has happened. I mean it's good, it's really good." Emily gets up and wipes off the grass that clings to her dress. "It feels so real."_

 _"_ _Emily…." Matthew gets up from the grass and puts a light hand on her shoulder "this is real."_

 _Emily wipes tears off of her face and lifts the fabric of her dress "why this, out of everything why is this what my brain took me back to? I mean, jesus" Emily sets her dress back down "how many years ago was this?"_

 _"_ _Too many to count, you always did hate the summer solstice ball."_

 _"_ _To be fair I hated all of the balls we were dragged to."_

 _"_ _True" Matthew nods his head and steps closer to her "but this….. this isn't a dream."_

 _"_ _This is absolutely ridiculous, Matthew. I just want to go home" she whines uncharacteristically._

 _"_ _And you can if that's what you really want" he grabs onto her hands "the choice is yours."_

 _"_ _How do I make it?"_

 _"_ _It's not that simple, if it were you would be gone right now" he tugs on her hand and they begin to walk back to the lake "if every part of you wanted to go back you would be there. Something is keeping you here."_

 _"_ _This is irrational."_

 _"_ _I know."_

 _"_ _I don't even know if I believe in heaven, let alone purgatory."_

 _"_ _But here you are" Matthew sweeps his hand in the direction of their surroundings "and something is keeping you here. Believe me for a second Em, what would that be?" He places her arm around her neck loosely, the crook of his elbow meeting her throat and pulling her into him._

 _She allows him to pull her in, settling comfortably against him. They had always acted like this, always as physically close to each other as possible. It was refreshing to be back with him, she had forgotten how easy everything was when they were together._

 _"_ _I don't know Matthew….."_

 _"_ _Come on Em, humor me."_

 _Emily lets out a groan of annoyance "It would be you, I guess. I miss this, I miss you." She unwraps herself from his side and faces him "if this is real, IF, I guess that I don't want to leave you."_

 _"_ _and?"_

 _"_ _And I don't particularly want to deal with the aftermath of what happened to me. We could be happy here, we could have a do over."_

 _Matthew smiles and tucks a strand of dark hair behind her ear "but it wouldn't be real. Your life is back with the people that need you most." He nods his head towards the lake, even though no one was technically there._

 _"_ _So you don't want me around?" She feigns sadness as she tilts his head and looks at him "and here I thought you liked me."_

 _Matthew laughs richly and shakes his head "I would love nothing more than to spend everyday with you, Emily. We could ride horses and go on hikes and swim, and it would be lovely. But it would be selfish of me to keep you here." He brings his hands up to cup her face "you Emily Prentiss, have a full life waiting for you back home."_

 _A tear falls leaks out of her eye and Matthew quickly wipes it with his thumb._

 _"_ _I don't want to leave you" her voice is quiet, almost a whisper._

 _"_ _I know Emily, I know." He pulls her against his chest and shushes her softly as sobs wrack her small frame. "I know."_

* * *

JJ waits just outside of the door.

Dr Montgomery had shown her Emily's room and promptly left, exhaustion practically radiating off of the woman.

That was roughly ten minutes ago. For some reason she feels reluctant to enter the room. Emily is just within her grasp, but she can't force herself to cross the threshold.

Hours ago all she wanted to do was see her best friend, and now all she can do is stare at the door in front of her.

"She won't bite, you know." Robert steps up next to the blonde and looks at the door straight ahead of them.

JJ jumps at his presence, feeling guilty for being caught. He must be dying to see his daughter. "How did you find out her room number?"

"I may or may not but definitely did threaten the nurse at the front desk. She didn't want to tell me because she's only allowed one visitor at a time and you're already here but I didn't give her much of a choice."

The blonde chuckles shortly and looks back at the door "that sounds about right."

Robert nods and looks to the woman next to him "can I ask you why you haven't gone in yet? You've been standing here for like, ten minutes."

Until she opened her mouth, JJ hadn't realized her reluctance. "We fought before she was taken, I was cold to her. I know she's asleep but….."

"You're worried she'll be mad at you."

JJ nods her head "I feel like an idiot, I mean I'm sure that's the last thing that would be on her mind but I can't shake the feeling that she's going to be awake and she's going to be pissed."

"JJ… we'll be lucky if she's angry at you after what she's been through. Emily… she shuts down when something really bad happens. She isn't angry or sad or scared she's… catatonic. She doesn't eat, she doesn't sleep, she doesn't talk, she doesn't live."

JJ whips her head up to the man standing to her right "wait has something like this happened before? Has she been assaulted before?"

"No nothing of this caliber. She lived the majority of her career as a spy, infiltrating dangerous cells of every kind. With every hundred of successful missions there were a few that have gone terribly wrong, this one included. After each bad one she would come home and just….sit. She would sit for hours on end starring at nothing."

JJ's stomach flips at the information "what did you do?"

"Elizabeth and I would have to drag her different places. Therapy, the gym, restaurants, anywhere and everywhere. Along the way she would shift back into the person we knew and then she would leave, just like that. We never really knew if we helped her or hurt her."

Robert shakes his head and clears his throat "She is asleep JJ, and she will be for awhile. Go, talk to her. Hearing the voice of someone she loves might help bring her back to us." He sets a gentle hand on her shoulder and pushes her lightly "it's okay Jennifer, I'll be out here if you need me."

With heavy feet JJ walks towards the door. She takes a quick look back at Robert, he shoots her an encouraging smile, and she turns back to the door. In a quick motion she wraps her hand around the knob and opens the door.

The room is much larger than a normal hospital room. It isn't surprising that Robert and Elizabeth had insisted on the best for their daughter.

The bed sits in the middle of the room, two large windows on either side. Emily is hooked up to a multitude of different things, a steady beep breaks through the quiet of the room.

When JJ's gaze lands on Emily she feels her heart break.

The brunette looks so incredibly small and frail in the large hospital bed. Tubes and wires snake around her entire frame. A blanket cuts off above her chest, her arms are laid down on the outside of it. Bandages are wrapped up and down both arms.

The blood that had caked her body had been washed off, leaving more bruises than JJ could count littering every available surface of her skin.

She's paler than usual, JJ notes as walks to the end of the bed. She places her hands gently on the frame by Emily's feet.

"Oh Emily" JJ whispers as she takes in the sight of her injured friend "I missed you…. So much." She waits for an answer, as if Emily was awake.

After a few moments she moves forward, stopping inches away from the right side of Emily's bed. She looks worse up close, JJ can see every injury in detail under the fluorescent lights.

JJ drags a chair to the very edge of the bed and hovers her hands over Emily's left one. She wants to hold her hand, but she doesn't want to hurt her.

JJ moves her hands slowly to cup Emily's left hand. When she notices no change on the machines behind her, JJ closes the cap and covers Emily's hand with her own.

"God Emily look at you" JJ shakes her head as a stray tear falls down her face "I am so sorry I was so mean to you. I didn't mean it… I was just worried about you."

JJ shakes her head and looks to Emily's face. She looks so peaceful, so undisturbed. "I am so sorry this happened to you. We should have found you sooner, we shouldn't have let you be taken in the first place, we shouldn't have let you gone undercover. You were nervous about it and I knew that, and I let you do it anyway."

"You're going to have a long road of recovery ahead of you, and I will be here every step of the way. I'm not going to lie to you Em, it's going to really fucking suck." She moves her hand to tuck a piece of hair behind Emily's ear "but I need you to come back to us. I can't do this without you, I don't know how and I don't want to. You're my sister, I love you." JJ leans forward and places a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"I'm going to leave so you can sleep but I think Hotch wants to talk to you. He loves you, you know? It's really sweet. I actually think you guys would be really good together."

JJ rises from her seat and turns to leave. Before she reaches the door she turns back and looks at Emily again "I love you, Emily. I'll see you soon."

* * *

 _Emily sits on the edge of the lake, looking down into the crystal surface. JJ makes her way out of the hospital room._

 _Tears streak down her face as she watches her friend leave. Emily doesn't want her to go, she craves the strange form of company that JJ had just brought her._

 _JJ's voice still rings in Emily's ears._

 _Before she hadn't been able to hear what was being said to her, but with JJ it had sounded like she was whispering directly into her ear._

 _It broke her heart._

 _"_ _I want to go home" Emily breathes out looking over at Matthew who sits by her side. "I want to go home." She leans forward into the grass and braces her face with her hands against the soft ground. "I want to go home!" Her voice is raw and filled with pain as she screams into her hands._

 _"_ _You can't, not until you work through whatever is keeping you here."_

 _"_ _It's you asshole!" Emily lurches back up into a sitting position and whips her head over in his direction, eyes blazing "You're keeping me here, I don't want to leave you!"_

 _"_ _That's not it Emily, there's something else. Talk to me Em, what is it?" He moves from his seated position and shifts closer to the brunette, grabbing onto her hand in an effort to calm her._

 _Sunlight streams down onto the pair, a gentle breeze blows through the meadow. She should feel peace, but all she feels is torment._

 _"_ _I don't think I'm strong enough" it comes out in a whisper, Matthew almost doesn't hear it._

 _"_ _Strong enough for what?"_

 _"_ _To do this" she waves her hand roughly in the direction of the lake "here I can pretend that nothing happened. We can live a happy, fake little life and I would never have to deal with it. Back home….. I'll never be the same again."_

 _"_ _You're right, you won't"_

 _Emily cocks her head as she listens to him, that was not the response she thought she would get._

 _"_ _You'll be stronger, you'll be better."_

 _A scoff leaves Emilys lips and she rolls her eyes "and what will my team think? How will they see me? How will Aaron see me?"_

 _"_ _Are you blind Emily Prentiss? Have you not been seeing what I have? These people love you, they couldn't give a shit about what happened to you. They will be there every step of the way, every step. Don't be an idiot, Emily._

 _Emily stares at him for a long moment before letting out a sharp laugh. He was right of course, he was always right._

 _"_ _You're a fighter, you always have been and you always will be. You're the strongest person I've ever met. I knew it back when were kids in Rome, and I know it now. You Emily Prentiss, are a born fighter. You don't belong here."_

 _"_ _You don't belong here either."_

 _Matthew chuckles "I do, but I believe helping you will help me. I came back to this place for a reason, and I've been waiting for you ever since."_

 _Emily raises her eyebrow in question._

 _"_ _This was the last ball we went to together. We got into a fight. You told me that I was starting to worry you, that I was spiraling out of control."_

 _"_ _You were drunk off your ass" Emily nods, starting to remember the details "I hadn't seen you in days, you were on a bender god knows where."_

 _"_ _I told you that you weren't my girlfriend so you had no right to worry about me like that, that you were only my friend because I felt bad for you because you didn't have any other friends. You started crying….." Matthew looks away "I told you that it was a good thing that you had gotten an abortion because your kid wouldn't have liked you either."_

 _Tears fall down Emily's face "I stormed off, I told you that I was the last person who had cared about you and that now you had no one. I told you I didn't care if you dropped dead right there."_

 _Matthew nods and he looks back at Emily "I left the country that night and never looked back. I never saw you again. I hate that that was the last conversation we ever had. I was too stubborn to chase after you and it was the biggest regret of my life."_

 _"_ _I knew you didn't mean any of it. I knew you were struggling I should have…"_

 _"_ _It doesn't matter" he shakes his head and holds onto her hands tighter "I was looking for a fight and I found it with you. I am so sorry, Emily. I've missed you so god damn much."_

 _Emily smiles at him and touches his face softly with her hand "you have no idea how much I've missed you."_

 _The pair is quiet for a moment._

 _"_ _I can't take you with me?"_

 _"_ _It doesn't work like that sweetheart, and I think you know that." Matthew smiles a sad smile, looking at her as if that's what he wants most in this world._

 _Emily nods and looks into his eyes. "I love you."_

 _"_ _I love you too."_

 _"_ _It's time. I'm ready to go."_

 _"_ _I know Emily, I know."_

* * *

JJ walks back into the waiting room, tears still falling down her face. She had stopped caring that she was crying around the team long ago.

As soon as he sees her, Will jumps to his feet. Wordlessly, he pulls JJ into him and wraps his arms around her protectively.

The pair usually tried to keep their interactions as platonic as possible around the team, but it was impossible during distressing times.

"How did she look?" Reid stands from the plastic chair he had been occupying. He already knew the answer. He rings his hands in front of him nervously.

They were all nervous to see her.

Emily was inarguably the strongest one of them all. To see her small and injured and….. broken, it was more than they could take.

"Not good, Spenc. Not good." Her voice shakes slightly as she answers him. Her emotions were all over the place, she was physically and emotionally exhausted.

Nobody blamed her.

"We should have armed guards outside of her room until we locate them, she isn't safe until they're caught."

Despite the seriousness of the situation, JJ catches the corners of her mouth raising into a tight smile against Will's shoulder. No matter what state he was in, Hotch was always putting Emily first.

Rossi nods and begins to walk down the hallway away from the group "I'll take care of it." The older man takes out his phone and disappears down the hallway.

Hotch watches him go until Derek's voice breaks his train of thought.

"Baby girl did you buy everything in the damn gift shop?"

Garcia holds a pile of balloons and stuffed animals and gift baskets. The pile is stacked so high you can hardly see her face.

Henry follows behind her, holding two large stuffed animal giraffes. "We have to buy a lot of stuff so that aunt Emily gets better faster, that's how it works right?"

"Yeah that's right bud" JJ unlatches herself from Will and grabs onto one of the enormous stuffed animals "I'm sure she'll love all of this. Why don't you give the other giraffe to uncle Aaron and me and him can go put this stuff in aunt Emilys room?"

"But I want to see aunt Emily….."

"I know you do buddy but aunt Emily is really sleepy right now so she won't even know you're there. Don't you want to see her when she's awake and can see all of her presents?"

Henry looks at his mother completely unconvinced, his grip still tight on the giraffe.

"It's okay Henry, I won't get to see your aunt Emily either. She needs her sleep to get better, and you want her to get better right?" Garcia unloads her purchases into Hotch's arms and crouches down so she is eye level with the small boy.

"Yes…"

"Then we can see her when she's awake! I don't know about you but I'm tired, and I know your mommy and daddy are too. After your mommy gives Emily her presents she's going to come right back and we're all going to go back to the hotel to go to sleep okay?"

Henry nods his head, his eyes moving to the floor as he tries to hide his disappointment "okay, you promise I'll see aunt Emily soon?"

Garcia smiles and nods at the boy "I promise. Now come on, give uncle Aaron the giraffe and lets sit over here and wait for your mommy to get back." Garcia shoots out her hand and the young boy takes it as they walk over to the corner of the room.

JJ smiles appreciatively at Garcia and takes some of the gifts from Hotch's arms.

Wordlessly, JJ walks in the direction of Emily's room. She walks slightly in front of Hotch, stepping in front of him when they have to turn down a hallway.

"Garcia picked out giraffes."

It was a casual comment but it had the corners of JJ's mouth tugging up into a small smile. "Emily loves giraffes."

Hotch nods absentmindedly as he stares down at the giraffe held tightly in his grip. He hardly noticed the huge load of gifts in the crook of his other arm.

"Emily, Jack, and I went to the zoo a few months ago. Jack was obsessed with the lions because he thought they looked so strong and powerful. He hardly payed any attention to the giraffes until Emily spoke up about how much she loved them. After that they were his favorite animal, still are actually." Hotch laughs shortly and looks up from the stuffed animal.

JJ had lead them to Emily's room without him noticing, too absorbed in the story about Emily. The blondes eyes are trained on her superior, a knowing look in her baby blues. She opens her mouth to speak, but is cut off sharply as the ring of a cell phone penetrates the silence.

The sound is coming from Hotch's pocket, and he passes JJ the stuffed giraffe before digging in his pocket and fishing out his cellphone.

"It's Jessica I have to…"

"Got it" JJ says simply while nodding "set the gifts down in front of the door and I'll bring them in after I put the giraffes down."

Hotch does as he's told quickly, and walks down the hallway away from Emily's room.

"Jessica, is everything okay?"

 _"_ _Everything is fine Aaron, did you find Emily? Is she okay?"_

Jessica and Emily had met several times. Without Hotch having to tell Jessica of his feelings for Emily she was aware, and she harbored only positive feelings toward the other woman.

Hotch sighs and runs a hand through his hair "We have her in the hospital now. Her heart stopped twice but hopefully she's out of the woods now. The doctor says the next 24 hours are critical."

 _"_ _Jesus Christ, I'm sorry Aaron. I won't keep you on the phone for long. I have a work emergency that I need to go out of town for, is there anyway I can drive Jack up to you and drop him off? I wouldn't ask unless it was absolutely necessary."_

Hotch drops his head and lets out a deep breath. He wanted to see Jack more than anything, but what was he going to say happened to Emily? "Sure Jess that's fine. Does he know anything about what's happening?"

 _"_ _I haven't told him anything but he did see her face on the news. He wanted to call you but I knew you were busy trying to find her so I told him you would call him. I hope that was okay."_

He nods until he realizes she can't see him "yes that was fine, thank you for watching him Jess. Can I talk to him?"

Instead of Jessica answering, Hotch hears shuffling on the other end of the line.

 _"_ _Daddy?"_

There is an instant smile on Hotch's face as he hears his son "Hi buddy, I miss you."

 _"_ _I miss you too. Is miss Emily okay? I saw her on the news but aunt Jessica wouldn't tell me anything and she switched the channel before…."_

"Miss Emily was hurt by a bad guy Jack, but aunt Jessica is going to drive you here and then you can see her and help her feel better, okay?"

 _"_ _Okay! I'll see you soon daddy!"_

"i'll see you soon buddy, I love you. Can you give the phone back to aunt Jess?"

 _"_ _I love you!"_

 _"_ _Aaron?"_

"I'm still here, Jess. When will you be leaving?"

 _"_ _As soon as I get Jack packed up. I'll call you when we're almost there. Call me if you need anything, see you soon."_

"Drive carefully" Hotch ends the call and puts the phone back in his pocket. The knot of tension that had been building since the beginning of this case uncurls slightly at the thought of seeing his son.

Jack always had a way of calming his fears, he seemingly always said the right thing in every situation. It was the Haley in him.

Without another thought, Hotch turns back around and heads in the direction of Emily's room.

* * *

 _"_ _So how does this work?"_

 _"_ _How does what work?"_

 _"_ _How do I you know….. go back."_

 _Emily and Matthew sit directly across from each other in the grass. The edge of the lake is a few feet to Emily's right, close enough to touch if she stretched her arm 's surface had always remained crystal clear, the bottom is easily seen._

 _The sun remains in the same position in the sky, as if no time has passed since she got here._

 _"_ _You have to stand on the edge of the lake, close your eyes, and wish to be back home with your whole heart. If even a piece of you wants to stay, you will."_

 _Emily cocks her head to the side with an eyebrow raised "seriously?"_

 _"_ _Seriously."_

 _A groan leaves her lips "It's so damn corny."_

 _Matthew raises and lowers his shoulders in a shrug, "those are the rules. Come on" he extends a hand down to her and she takes it "it's time to get you back home."_

 _The pair turns to face the lake, and suddenly Emily feels nervous._

 _"_ _What if it doesn't work?"_

 _"_ _It'll work."_

 _"_ _What if it doesn't?"_

 _"_ _Then you're stuck with me forever. Good news though, there's still alcohol in the house. We could get drunk off our asses until the end of days. We may be dead but apparently we can still get intoxicated."_

 _Emily smirks and lets out a bark of a laugh "sounds like a plan. Should I…."_

 _"_ _Wait, before you start" Matthew hurriedly brings his fingers to the back of his neck and unhooks a silver chain. He brings his hand out in a closed fist in front of Emily. "I want you to have this."_

 _Confused, Emily holds out her palm and he drops the object into her hand below his. She immediately closes her fist around it. The metal is cool and smooth against her palm._

 _Emily turns her hand face up and opens her palm. In it, a delicate silver pendant set on an equally delicate silver chain. She brings it closer to her face to examine the pendant._

 _It is incredibly intricate, a carved figure being the focal is circular, a border wraps around the entire frame._

 _Before she can ask, Matthew speaks._

 _"_ _Saint Jude, the patron saint of lost causes. Just a little reminder that you aren't as lost as you may feel. This is going to be hard sweetheart, but you will get through it. I am always, always with you."_

 _Emily lets out a shaky breath and closes her palm around the necklace. "Will this come back with me?"_

 _"_ _Truthfully, I don't know. The dress won't so I'm not sure the necklace will, but if anyone could help with that it would be saint Jude."_

 _"_ _You don't believe in all of that."_

 _"_ _look where we are, how I could I not anymore? Besides, I'll believe in whatever will help you."_

 _Emily laughs and looks into his eyes. "I love you….. so….much. You were always there for me, you were my best friend. Thank. You." She chokes back tears as she speaks, the words come out full of emotion._

 _Matthew smiles a sad smile and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear. "I am so incredibly proud of you. Not chasing after you was the biggest mistake of my life, letting you go will fix that. Go kid, set the world on fire."_

 _The breeze that had been a constant while Emily was here slowly dies. The birds stop chirping, as if in anticipation._

 _Emily nods and closes her eyes. The feeling is almost instant. It feels like a warmth is going through her entire body, a string is pulling from her chest._

 _It scares her, and she turns around wildly looking for Matthew. He isn't there._

 _"_ _Matthew?" She shrieks his name in fear._

 _"_ _I'm right here, Emily. It's okay, let it happen."_

 _Emily whips back around and he is inches away from her._

 _His eyes are kind and his smile is wide. The familiar look sedates her, and as soon as she feels relaxed her vision begins to fade._

 _"_ _I love you" she screams it, it feels like suddenly she is so very far away from him. Her hand tightens around the necklace, the cool metal grounding her._

 _Her vision fades, and soon all she can see are his kind eyes, letting her know that everything was going to be alright. Just as they had done dozens of times over the years they had been together._

 _"_ _I love you too, Emily."_

 _And then everything is dark._

* * *

By the time Hotch walks into the room, JJ has gotten most of the decorations and presents settled in the room.

The two giraffes sit on the chair of the left side of her bed, the chair to the right remains vacant.

"Where did the balloons come from?" There were at least five, all spelling out messages of "get well soon" and "feel better"

JJ chuckles and sets down a thing of flowers on a bedside table "they were inside of the big bag. Garcia must have bought out the store."

On a table closer to Hotch than to Emily's bed, JJ had laid out dozens of toys and puzzles and candies that Garcia had felt the need to buy.

"What else did we expect?" Hotch crosses the room and sits in the vacant chair next to Emily's bed. It's plastic and uncomfortable, but being this close to Emily makes up for it.

"There are banners that I didn't hang up, it's more of a two person job. I figured we could let Garcia figure that mess out when we come back….

JJ continues to talk until she realizes Hotch isn't paying attention to her. His gaze is fixated on the gauze around Emily's neck.

"Hotch, hotch" JJ places a hand on his arm to get his attention "are you okay?"

Hotch nods, shaking himself out of his train of thought "you should all head back to the hotel."

"you should come with us, you need sleep Hotch."

"I'm not leaving until she does. I can catch a few hours in this chair."

JJ looks at him entirely unimpressed. "Aaron Hotchner if you don't…"

"Matthew…"

Both agents snap their eyes to Emily.

"Was that her?"

"Is she waking up?"

They both rush to speak at the same time.

"Doctor Montgomery said she shouldn't be awake for hours."

"That's Emily for you, sheer will waking her up hours before she should. Let me go get a nurse!" JJ sprints out of the room, adrenaline coursing through her veins as she searches.

"Emily?" Hotch grabs onto her left hand a gently squeezes "Emily are you awake?"

Her eyelids feel like they're glued shut. Without even opening them she can feel the pain radiating from every corner of her body. A male voice gets her attention.

 _Is that Matthew?_

She's completely disoriented.

"Matthew?"

"Oh my god you're awake, thank god! No Emily it's Aaron, can you open your eyes for me please? Sweetheart can you open your eyes?"

Emily clenches her jaw and forces her eyelids open. They flutter for a few seconds before falling shut again, the fluorescent lights too harsh.

"Emily can you hear me? I'm right here Emily, I'm right here."

The brunette goes to speak but is met with a sharp pain that she was too delirious to register before. It has tears pricking her eyes, and she immediately clamps her mouth shut. Instead, she squeezes the hand of whoever is holding hers.

"Don't try to speak, it's okay! JJ! She's awake!"

"I'm right here" JJ runs back into the room with a nurse right behind her.

The nurse rushes to the other side of Emily and looks at the monitors. "Her vitals are good, steady. Emily it is important that you don't try to speak right now, okay?"

Emily nods her head and then groans at the pain it causes her head. She doesn't understand what is happening.

A hand caresses her face and she turns her head in that direction. Matthew isn't standing next to her like she had thought. Hotch and JJ look at her with big smiles on their faces, tears pooling in their eyes.

"It worked." The pain is less than it was before, and Emily finds that she doesn't care if it hurts when she talks. She needs to talk.

"Emily honey please don't talk right now." The nurse chimes from the other side of the bed.

Emily completely ignores her. "I was dead. Matthew was there. He helped me…. He helped me…."

"Shhhhh Emily, it was just a dream. Try not to talk okay sweetheart?" Hotch comfortingly strokes a hadn't through her dark hair.

Emily becomes aware of a familiar weight in her right hand. Her fingers instinctively curl tighter around the necklace. "no" she shakes her head "no it wasn't."

 _It was real_

* * *

 **OK LONG FUCKING CHAPTER BC I WANT TO MAKE UP FOR HOW BAD I SUCK WITH GETTING THESE CHAPTERS OUT. Also Matthew and Emily were never romantic, just an fyi. They were just really good friends. Review and let me know what you thought :) also I know the last section was all over the place with perspective but I wanted to give a little taste of what everyone was thinking I guess Yeet review :)**


	25. Jack

**Ok HI GUYS! I'm going to rant for a quick second….. I've been reading this fic with like a different plot but Emily is abducted and then sexually assaulted and I mean it is so OOC its hard to read. Let's be honest every fic is a little OOC because we don't actually write for the show but oh my GOD it's crazy, like the team is calling her a whore? I'm? what? I never try to judge a fic but yoooo what even. ANYWAY. How are you guys doing? Sorry it's taken me a while to update, my life sucks hahahahaha COOL. Thank you to MinxHeart, Guest, Dauntlessfourever, Truepower357, and Zhangxinna for your amazing reviews! And Also yes, when I say doctor Montgomery I am using Addison Montgomery as my muse because I luh that bitch Meredith grey WHO. It isn't going to be a crossover or anything just realize that's who I am thinking of when I am writing her.**

* * *

She should feel relieved. She knows that, she should feel happy that she is alive. After all, it's what she wanted. But all she feels is loss. She had lost him, again. All that remains of him is the necklace Emily still clutches onto for dear life.

She feels like she has lost herself too. Patrick had taken a piece of her with every minute she had spent with him. Every time he touched her without consent a piece of her soul hardened.

Faintly she hears the nurse say that her vitals are strong. That it's quite frankly a miracle she's awake so soon, a miracle that it doesn't seem there is any lasting damage.

 _whoopty freakin doo_

"Emily, Emily?" JJ calls her from her left side.

She doesn't turn her head. Can't possibly turn her heard. She stares straight ahead, the only part of her body moving is her fingers around Matthew's necklace. A repetitive motion of her fingers rubbing up and down the pendant.

They had been together, one last time. She had gotten to touch him, to talk to him…. And it wasn't enough. He was supposed to be here with her.

They had promised to die together when they were children, and now she's here all alone.

Well, not all alone.

"What's happening, is she okay?" Hotch stands to her left as well, worry staining his every word. He paces the length of her bed. "She was talking only moments ago."

"Aaron, stop" JJ puts a gentle hand on his bicep and he instantly stops pacing. "Robert said this might happen. After traumatic events she….. becomes catatonic. It fades eventually."

"But we got her back, JJ. I need to talk to her, I need…"

"I know, and we will. She needs time."

The nurse looks back to the pair "It isn't uncommon for trauma victims to go in and out of a cationic state for several days after the incident. She'll be okay." A small smile is on her face as she looks at the pair. "Until then please be patient with her, let her know you're here."

With a nod, the nurse walks out of the room "I will go get doctor Montgomery immediately."

It is quiet for a few moments.

"I'll go get Robert and find the others, spend some time with her." JJ pats her boss's hand supportingly before turning away and exiting the room. She had been warned that Emily might act like this, Hotch had not. JJ doesn't know which is worse.

As soon as JJ has left the room, Hotch swoops down to Emily's bedside and takes her left hand in between both of his.

"Emily? Can you hear me?"

His voice penetrates the smoke that had been fogging her brain. It makes her feel present, grounded. She's alive, she's here.

With great force Emily lulls her head to the left side and takes in the sight of him. His usually kept hair is messy, and he has large bags under his eyes. Cuts mare his usually flawless face. His face is pinched in worry.

"There you are" a wide smile breaks out onto his face and he brings a hand up to cradle her cheek. "I have missed you…. so.. much. I am so sorry this happened to you, I…." He stops mid sentence when he looks into her eyes.

They're completely blank, completely void of life.

The eyes he's known for years that are usually filled with such warmth and happiness are dull and entirely passive.

"Emily?" She doesn't answer but she moves her head further into his palm, seeking comfort from the warmth his hand provides.

She's there but she isn't, her body is here but her mind is lightyears away. He yearns to talk to her, to understand how she's feeling, but he will give her the time she so badly needs.

"I will always be here for you, Emily. I don't care what happened to you and I don't care that, knowing you, you'll try to fight me every step of the way. I will always be here for you. I will never leave your side again."

If she hears him, she doesn't acknowledge it. She just stares in his direction, completely unseeing.

"How is she?" Doctor Montgomery rushes into the room, sans JJ, in simple scrubs as her red hair flows in waves behind her. She's tired, understandingly so.

"She said a few words when she woke up but hasn't said anything else. She turned her head after waking up and winced like she was in pain but she hasn't vocalized it. The nurse said this was common?"

Doctor Montgomery walks to the right side of her bed and checks the monitors for herself. With quick fingers she removes a light from her pocket and checks Emily's neurological function.

"Can she hear us?"

"I believe she can yes, she doesn't appear to have brain damage, you said she spoke when she woke up?"

Emily sits perfectly still as doctor Montgomery pokes and prods around her, tilting her head this way and that way to check for bruising. Removing the gauze around her neck to change it.

"Yes, I think she was confused. She had this old friend named Matthew who died years ago and she said that she had died, and that he had helped her." Hotch shakes his head slowly "maybe it was the concussion?"

"I don't know about that, I've seen all kind of miracles within these halls. And yes, traumatic events can cause catatonia. What's this?"

A silver glint catches doctor Montgomery's eyes and she slowly uncurls Emily's fingers.

Before they can uncurl all the way, Emily snaps her fingers back in place around the pendant and whips her head to look at the doctor.

"Hi Emily, my name is doctor Montgomery. It is so nice to finally meet you. Can I see what you have in your hand?" The doctor speaks in a calming tone, looking directly into Emily's eyes to search for her permission.

There's nothing in the pair of dark brown eyes.

Reflexively, her fingers curl tighter around the pendant. Emily moves her head back to stare straight ahead of her.

"Hey Em, I'm gonna look at it okay?"

She doesn't give him an answer.

Hotch gets up and moves to the other side of the bed. Slowly and carefully, he uncurls her fingers and removes the pendant from her grasp.

"Saint Jude" doctor Montgomery breathes out "fitting for such a strong woman." She looks fondly at Emily before walking to the end of the bed and looking at Emily's chart.

Hotch flips the pendant over. The name "Matthew" is engraved in carefully looping letters.

"I'll be damned. It's his, Matthews I mean."

Doctor Montgomery looks up from Emily's chart with a shocked smile on her face. "I cant say I've ever seen anything quite like this before. Could anyone have given it to her after surgery?"

"No" Hotch shakes his head "JJ was the only one who has been in here other than medical personnel. Can I…? Hotch motions his intent to put it around Emily's neck.

"I would feel better if you left it in her hand for now. The bandage around her neck is quite large and I would hate for her to wake up in the middle of the night with the necklace restricting her breathing."

Hotch blushes and pulls back to put the necklace in her hand. He hadn't even thought of the danger it could have brought her.

"Ok Emily, it was so nice to finally meet you. Would you like me to give you anything for the pain?"

"No." Her voice is small but commanding.

Doctor Montgomery nods "Agent Hotchner informed me earlier hat you probably wouldn't want any pain medication. Just in case, I'm going to set up a self administering drip for you okay? You can press a button and the medication will be dispensed automatically into your IV. Does that sound okay?"

No answer.

"That would be great, thank you doctor." Hotch nods at the woman before turning back to Emily.

Her eyelids begin to droop.

"It's okay, Emily. I'll be right here when you wakeup."

And with that, she falls asleep.

* * *

JJ runs down the hospital halls, ignoring every doctor that yells at her to slow down. It doesn't matter, nothing else matters.

 _She's awake_

"Jennifer?" Robert steps into her line of sight suddenly and grabs onto her forearms to slow her down.

JJ stumbles slightly at the sudden stop and a sharp pain draws her attention to her incision site. The incision was only a few inches, but doctor Montgomery had told her to take it easy. Could anyone blamer her for forgetting?

"Jennifer slow down, you shouldn't be running and you know that. What's wrong, what's happened?"

JJ can't help the relieved smile that breaks out on her face "Emily is awake, she was talking. Emily is awake." Tears of joy prick her eyes and she throws her arms around Robert's neck, letting him go as quickly as she had latched on.

Robert carefully untangles from the blonde, making sure not to tug at her surgical sight as he holds her at arms length. He needs to see her, needs to make sure he had heard her correctly.

"She's awake? How? The doctor said…"

JJ nods feverishly to get her point across.

"What's going on?" Elizabeth rounds the corner with two cups of coffee in her hand. Despite the circumstances she looks incredibly put together. Not a dark hair out of place, not a wrinkle in her pantsuit. Her eyes are what give her away, a rim of red around both eyes that let everyone know she's been crying.

"Our daughter is awake." Robert laughs out of shock and grabs the coffee from her hands. "Let's go see her."

Without another word the pair race in the opposite direction, leaving JJ alone in the busy hallway. She stands there for a few seconds before shaking her head and continuing in the direction she was going originally.

Will has just put Henry's jacket on the small boy when JJ bursts into the waiting room.

Suddenly out of breath from all the excitement, JJ leans over and braces her elbows on her knees before straightening out.

Will rushes over to her side as fast as humanly possible and puts a careful hand on her forearm "Darlin', are you okay?"

JJ waves her hands to indicate that she's fine and then looks at everyone else in the room. "Emily's awake, she was talking. She looked like she was okay."

Everyone looks back at her with faces filled with shock before Garcia breaks the silence and yelps happily.

"She's okay?"

"I think she's okay, the nurse went to get doctor Montgomery and I came to find you guys. Her parents are probably with her now, if she hasn't fallen asleep by now."

It was like a physical wave of relief had crashed against each and every member of the team. Their reactions were as different as the people experiencing them.

Garcia jumps up and down, pulling Morgan into a tight hug. While Rossi sits back down in his chair and appears to mutter a silent prayer.

Reid however, stands there shell shocked. "She's okay?"

"She's okay" JJ breathes out happily.

"Statistically…"

"Statistically, it's high improbable that she should have woken up anywhere before 24 hours."  
Doctor Montgomery steps into the room and flashes a tired smile. "She fell back asleep only minutes ago. There appears to be no neurological but I can't speak to any muscular damage, we'll have to run more tests when she's more stable."

"But she's okay?" Reid continues to stare wide eyed and entirely confused.

"It seems that way, yes. These next 24 hours are still incredibly critical."

"Doctor, how is she awake right now?" Rossi stands from his seated position and crosses slightly closer to the woman.

Doctor Montgomery smiles and shakes her head "My guess? Sheer will. I've never seen anyone wake so quickly after such extensive injuries. She's a fighter."

The team nods.

"Agent Hotchner wanted me to let you all know that he wants you to go back to the hotel. She should be asleep for hours, and he said he'll call you when she wakes up."

"I don't think…."

"He said it's an order. I don't really think I have the clearance level to demand something like that, but they're his words not mine. Please, go get some sleep. I've never seen so many people from the same group awake for so long." Doctor Montgomery smiles, nods her head, and bids the group goodbye before leaving to get her own much needed sleep.

* * *

 _Her arms hang above her head. Blood trickles down both arms, it makes the surface of her skin itchy. Her head lulls to the side slightly, she doesn't have the energy to keep it up._

 _She is going to die._

 _Patrick stands in front of her, the knife already at her throat. He stares at her hungrily. He will be her undoing._

 _There's a strange calm that has washed over her. In the next few minutes this will all be over, all of her pain will be gone. She'll never wake up again, and more importantly she'll never wake up HERE again._

 _There's a commotion at the barn door but she doesn't bother to see what it is. It doesn't matter what it is. Nothing matters anymore._

 _Before she knows what happen the knife has pierced her skin and dragged across the sensitive area._

 _It hurts, but it doesn't hurt as much as she thought it would. The feeling is strangely warm, the blood pooling out of her throat and coating the outside of her neck._

 ** _"_** ** _NO"_**

 _She hears his voice scream the word, but she doesn't know if she's imaging it. Is her brain tricking her moments before the end? Some last ditch effort to comfort her?_

 _She doesn't know and quite frankly she doesn't care._

 _Her head lulls back, hair covering her face. The edges of her vision start to blacken. Her body feels heavy. Lethargic. Calm._

 _Strong hands maneuver her arms above the hook to take her off of it. The minute her weight is off of the hook she falls, but someone is there to cushion her._

 _A gentle hand cups the back of her head while another wraps around her waist to bring her safety to the ground._

 _Her eyes are unseeing but she knows it is him, Hotch. She would know that scent anywhere. It envelopes her in a comforting hug before placing her on her back._

 ** _"_** ** _WE NEED A MEDIC IN HERE!"_**

 _She fights to open her eyes to let him know that she's okay, but her eyelids feel like lead. Her body won't cooperate._

 _A fabric is being wrapped around her neck._

 _She has to tell him she's okay. She has to open her eyes._

 ** _"_** ** _How deep is the cut, of my god he cut her throat. He fucking cut her throat"_**

 _JJ. Oh JJ is here too. Oh JJ._

 _Someone wraps their hands around her neck and instinctively she knows it is JJ. The hands are small and delicate, she had held those hands dozens of times before for comfort._

 _Emily fights with her own body to open her eyes. She has to tell JJ that she loves her, she has to tell her that the little argument they got into before all of this was stupid. Before she dies she has to tell JJ that she isn't mad at her, or it will always hang over the blonde._

 _And she attempts to. Her eyes open for mere milliseconds before they slam shut again. The light was too bright, too much energy was required to keep her eyes open._

 _That second had been enough. She had seen both of them, Hotch and JJ. Her body relaxes even more into the floor._

 ** _"_** ** _Emily stay with me, Emily stay with me damnit! I need you, I can't live without you! Emily PLEASE. I promise I'll wake up with you for morning runs and I'll make the coffee as strong as you want. Emily, Emily please."_**

 _She can tell that he's crying and it startles her, had she ever heard him cry? Other than when Haley had died? No, she doesn't think she has._

 _She tries to open her mouth to comfort him but she doesn't have control over her body._

 ** _"_** ** _the ambulance can't get up the driveway, it's too steep and the gravel is sliding because of the rain."_**

 _Reid, oh Reid is here too. She's missed him so much._

 ** _"_** ** _WHAT? We can't wait for them to figure it out. Emily needs medical attention now!"_**

 ** _"_** ** _There's nothing we can do Hotch we have to wait."_**

 ** _"_** ** _Fuck that."_**

 ** _"_** ** _Aaron she could have a spinal injury."_**

 ** _"_** ** _I don't give a damn about a spinal injury. I can deal with her being paralyzed I can't deal with her being dead."_**

 _Everyone is here and they're all fighting for her life. A warmth washes over her as she listens to their words. They truly are a family._

 _All of a sudden she is lifted into the air. It must be what flying feels like._

 _Her head lulls to the side and makes contact with someones chest. It's Hotch she knows, she can still smell him. Subconsciously she nestle deeper into his warm embrace._

 _A wet substances splashes down on her and drenches her within seconds. It's rain she realizes, they must be outside._

 _She floats in-between consciousness and unconsciousness. His breathing keeps her grounded, keeps her in the present as much as it can._

 ** _"_** ** _You have to stay with me Emily. I love you, I love you Emily Prentiss and I cannot lose you. I want to do everything on earth will you."_**

 _He loves her. He just said that he loves her. She has to talk to him, she has to tell him that she feels the same._

 ** _"_** ** _You're doing so good sweetheart we're almost to the ambulance. Stay with me a little longer, okay?"_**

 _She opens her mouth to tell her that she loves him too, she can't possibly die without telling him exactly how she feels._

 _Instead of talking she gurgles her words, blood is pooling where it shouldn't be. It compromises her ability to talk._

 ** _"_** ** _Don't try to talk, it's okay. It's okay."_**

 _She realizes that it is okay. She can give in, she can go to sleep. She can drift off happily in his arms._

 _And she does just that._

* * *

Her eyes bolt open. The memories cling to her and for a few seconds she floats in and out of both places, the past and the present.

The beeping of the machines in the room ground her, and for the first time since being awake she looks around the room.

It had been decorated some time while she was asleep. It was cute, but it didn't make her feel any better like it was intended to do.

Emily doubts anything will make her feel better for a long time.

The room itself is quite large. The right side is covered in big windows. Unfamiliar buildings look back at her from outside the window, and she has to remind herself that they aren't in DC.

The sun is setting just outside the window. Emily can't place what day it is, but at least she knows the general time.

A snore to her left breaks her train of thought, and she swivels her head carefully to the left to find the source.

White hot pain has her audibly hissing. As sleep leaves her system she becomes more aware of her broken body. It feels like every piece of her is shattered, including her heart.

The pain recedes slightly as she lays eyes on Hotch. He's fast asleep in a chair next to her bed. The chair is only inches from her , and he sits leaning on his right side facing her.

Emily has the most intense craving to touch him, to reassure herself that he is really here with her. She lifts her left hand and gently brushes her fingers through his hair.

Pain shoots up and down her arm but she ignores it.

Hotch stirs under his touch and subconsciously moves more into her touch while staying asleep.

The touch brings her no sense of comfort, and she finds it upsets her more. She doesn't feel happy, she doesn't feel anything except for pain.

She had thought that seeing him and touching him would thaw her heart, would shake her out of this state that happens after every tragic thing in her life. But it hadn't, and she doubts anything will.

It hurts to look at him. To see her past life and know that she can never go back, to know that she will never be the way she once was.

This time was more serious. This time, she was wounded down to her soul.

Emily removes her hand from his hair and lays on her right side, facing away from him. She stares at nothing, she thinks about everything.

The necklace in her right hand is the only thing that keeps her semi grounded.

A shrill ring breaks the silence of the room. Emily hardly notices its ringing, too caught up in her thoughts to hear it.

"Hotchner." Hotch answers the phone with sleep fully evident in his voice. He brushes his hand over his face and sits up in the chair.

 _"_ _Hey Hotch it's JJ, do you think Emily is up to some visitors? We're all really anxious to see her."_

"I don't know JJ, I think she's still sleeping. I'll ask her. It might do her some good to see everyone."

 _"_ _Even if she's still sleeping they still just want to see her. We're the only two that have seen her, Derek and Reid are going crazy."_

"I'll check with doctor Montgomery but I don't see why not. As long as no one wakes her up if she's sleeping, she needs her rest."

 _"_ _We won't, Hotch. Will is going to stay at the hotel with Henry. I'll see you soon."_

"I'll see you soon JJ, drive safe." Hotch hangs up the phone and turns to look at Emily. He walks around the other side of the bed and smiles when he sees that her eyes are open. "Hey Em, how are you feeling?"

Emily doesn't answer. She stares straight ahead with a blank expression dimming her features.

Hotch sighs sadly and sits on the bed. "I miss the sound of your voice, I miss talking to you. Talk to me Emily." He moves his hand forward slowly to not spook her. When she doesn't flinch he closes the gap and strokes her cheek with his thumb.

"Are you feeling up to seeing the team? Even only for a second? I know they really want to…"

"How is my favorite patient doing?" Doctor Montgomery walks through the door with a kind smile on her face. She stops at the foot of Emily's bed and puts her hands on the plastic frame.

"She hasn't talked again since the first time. I can feel her in there, I just can't find her."

Doctor Montgomery nods understandingly and begins to flip through her chart. "It might take some time but she'll come back, she'll recover. Would you like me to consult with my colleague? I think Emily could benefit from talking to a psychologist."

Hotch lets out a sharp laugh and turns to the doctor "Emily would rather die than talk to a shrink. I'll push her to see one later but not now, not so soon."

"That's perfectly fine, I just wanted to give you the option."

"Thank you very much doctor. Do you think having the team around would help her?"

Doctor Montgomery shuts the chart and looks back to Hotch. "I think it could, yes. But if she becomes overwhelmed in anyway they have to leave." She shoots him a pointed look to make sure he understands her.

Hotch nods "I think a familiar face will help. She was asleep when her parents came to see her, though I don't know if seeing them would help her or hurt her."

Doctor Montgomery laughs "I understand that completely. I'll leave you two alone. Bye Emily." She leaves without another word.

15 minutes later there's a soft knock on the door.

JJ pokes her head in "all okay to come in?"

Hotch nods from his seat next to the bed and waves them in.

"Daddy!" Jack runs into the room and latches onto Hotch's suit jacket.

Every member of the team walks into the room and makes a semi circle around Emily's bed. They stare at her with mixed looks of relief and worry.

"Hi buddy, where's Aunt Jessica?"

JJ walks farther into the room with a small smile on her face "we ran into Jessica in the hallway and offered to take Jack from there. She seemed like she was in a hurry." JJ looks away from Hotch and crosses to the opposite side of the bed.

Emily lays in the same position she had been in before. Her eyes are unseeing, her heart is unfeeling.

"Let's go get some food Jack."

"But I want to make miss Emily feel better." The little boy unlatches from his father and starts to climb into the bed.

"Jack be careful, please get off of the bed Emily is hurt."

"I just want to make her feel better!" The little boy ignores his father and climbs right up next to Emily. He carefully wraps his arms around her neck and puts his head next to hers. "Hi miss Emily, I missed you. I am sorry a bad guy hurt you but I will make you feel all better."

Everyone stares at the scene in varying levels of shock. It was so personal, so comfortable. How much time had they all spent together after work hours?

"Jack….." Hotch admonishes and moves forward to try and get Jack out of the bed.

"Hi Jacky, I missed you too buddy." Her voice is so quiet that it almost isn't heard.

Emily shifts from laying on her right side to laying on her left.

Jack automatically shifts with her. He wraps his tiny arms just under her armpits and lays his head on her chest.

As if it was the most natural thing in the world, Emily begins to run her hands through his hair and pulls him slightly closer to her. As if she had done this countless times before.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine….." Jack begins to sing the melody quietly to comfort the woman he clings to.

A tear forms in Hotch's eyes, then he looks to the team. They stare back at him, all with faces of total bewilderment.

By the time Jack has finished singing the have both drifted off to sleep.

"I guess I have some explaining to do."

* * *

 **So I feel like I never really gave Emily's perspective of that whole scene so I wanted to do that. I, right now, am DRUNK and wrote the second half of the chapter drunk but I truly believe some of my best writing comes from when I'm drunk. LOL I NEED A NEW COPING MECHANISM. Just kidding I'm ok! Next chapter the team will have more contact with Emily I just wanted to lay the foundation. I also can picture Emily as such a good mother Paget Brewster will you adopt me? Review review review!**


	26. Nightmares

**I struggled with writing this chapter a lot. I'm not sure why, I just had no drive to write it. When that happens it can take a long time to start writing again. Day by day I would open my document, write one sentence, and close it. I hope this is good enough. Thank you to all those who reviewed the last chapter.**

* * *

Hotch sits in an uncomfortable waiting room chair with his hands clasped in front of him, his posture leaning slightly forward so that his elbows rest against his thighs.

The team stands in front of him in a semi circle.

They are the only people in the waiting room, something Hotch believes doctor Montgomery had a hand in. Hospital waiting rooms are always overly crowded, yet this one is silent and empty. The doctor must have cordoned off this waiting room just for them.

"Well? We're waiting." Rossi stands directly in front of Hotch with his arms crossed over his chest. He had absolutely not seen this coming, not in the slightest. It has him slightly irritated and incredibly confused.

JJ and Garcia stand to the right of the older man, trying to stop the knowing smiles that want to curve their lips upwards. They had known something had been going on between the two. They didn't know the extent, but when it came to Emily's love life they could read her like a book.

Derek stands on Rossi's immediate left. His arms are crossed as well, and there is a palpable anger rolling off of the agent. He had seen this coming, but it hadn't prepared him in the slightest. Even he couldn't have predicted the extent to which their relationship had gone.

Reid stands next to Derek looking incredibly uncomftorable. The genius shifts back and forth nervously as he avoids eye contact with his boss as if his life depends on it.

"I don't even know when it started….. or why it started really. After Haley died, Emily was there with me through everything. Jack took to her instantly and demanded that we spend more time together. Eventually we just fell into a routine, I think it happened so slowly that we didn't really realize the change in our relationship….."

"Until?" Derek raises his right eyebrow in question. There was an underlying hesitance to Hotch's voice that infuriated Derek even more. He has to know if it meant what he thinks it means.

"Until?" Garcia squeaks in an entirely different tone. Garcia and JJ had been pretty sure it hadn't escalated to anything physical. That is, until now.

Hotch shoots a death glare at each and every member of the team. He wasn't going to discuss this with them. It is completely unprofessional.

JJ's mouth falls open in absolute shock.

"Is it serious?" Derek tries to hide his frustration from the team and fails miserably. His eyes are narrowed, his fists are clenched at his sides, and he shifts back and forth as if readying for a fight. It doesn't take a profiler to identify his anger.

Hotch thinks for a few moments before answering with a firm "yes."

"Do you love her?" Garcia looks dreamily at her boss as she thinks about the couples possible future. "You guys could get married and have children….."

"Baby girl" Derek says quickly as he shakes his head, unable to listen to the rest.

At the same time Hotch exhales a sharp "Garcia."

"Sorry sir, I just can't help it. The thought of a little Hotch-Emily baby running around the BAU….."

Hotch holds up a hand and Garcia instantly stops talking.

"Sorry sir." Garcia hangs her head in false shame. She wasn't sorry for going off on a tangent, she wasn't sorry at all. She grabs onto JJ's hand and squeezes.

JJ squeezes her hand back and fights to wipe the smile off of her face.

Derek shakes his head and walks off, unable to stand and listen to anything else. He had seen it coming, hell Emily's mom had told him something was going on. It doesn't make it hurt any less.

"If you all are done with the third degree, I'm going to go back and sit with Emily."

* * *

Jack and Emily lay asleep in the hospital bed when Hotch walks in. His heart immediately swells at the sight.

As much as he hates to admit it, Garcia's questions had gotten him thinking about the future. When she had been taken he refused to let himself think about it, but now that she is safe and secure it is all he can think about.

Without a doubt, Emily prentiss is the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. He can picture their entire future as easy as breathing.

But after everything she has been through, will she want the same?

Hotch takes a seat to the right of the bed and moves to grab her hand when a whimper leaves her lips.

It's quiet, so quiet that he almost didn't hear it. He hovers just above the bed, waiting for another sign of a nightmare.

All is silent for minutes on end, and once he is satisfied that everything is all right he sits down again.

His attention is caught again by Jack shifting further into Emily's grasp.

The young boy has his head on top of Emily's chest, and his arms are wrapped around her torso. Emily, in turn, has her arms wrapped around Jack holding him securely against him.

The pair bring a smile to his face, and tears threaten to leak from his eyes. It was a touching scene and it got even more so when Emily unconsciously pulled Jack closer to her and rested her head on top of his.

The peace is shattered immediately when Emily lets out a horrifying howl of pain.

Hotch jumps out of his seat and moves to try and comfort the brunette without waking up Jack.

It's too late, the little boy sits up quickly and looks around the room. "Daddy what's wrong?"

Before Hotch can open his mouth Emily screams and begins to struggle in the tangled sheets.

"Jack I need you to leave." Hotch lifts his son out of the bed and pushes him gently towards the door.

"I don't want to leave I want to help miss Emily!" Jack crosses his arms and plants his feet stubbornly.

Emily lets out another panicked shriek and Hotch sits down on the bed next to her, gently placing his hands on her arms in an effort to calm her.

The monitors beep loudly as Emily's heart rate continues to increase.

"What's happening?" Doctor Montgomery runs into the room with several nurses, roughly pulling on her lab coat and ripping the heels off of her feet so she can move faster.

"She's fine she's just having a nightmare, can we please give her some room?"

The nurses scatter instantly under his harsh glare.

"Jack I need you to go find anyone on the team and sit with them please?" Hotch runs over to his son and crouches down in front of him.

"No daddy I….."

"What's going on in here, I heard screaming." JJ runs into the room with Garcia right on her heels.

"Emily is just having a nightmare, can you take Jack to the cafeteria and get him something to eat?"

"Of course. Hey Jack lets go get some food okay?" JJ approaches the young boy and does everything she can to keep her eyes on the boy and not on the screaming brunette in the bed.

"Do you want me to sedate her?" Doctor Montgomery stands to the left side of Emily's bedside with a troubled look on her face. Her hand lingers just over the sleeping woman, wanting to do something but being terrified that she would make it worse.

"No, she'd never forgive me. Let me wake her up. JJ" Hotch nods towards the door and he moves back towards the bed.

"Daddy no!" Jack starts crying as JJ gently tugs him towards the door. "I can help her!"

"Hotch…" The question is evident in her tone.

"Do it JJ." His back is to the pair as he sits back down on the bed.

Wordlessly JJ scoops the crying boy off of the floor and carries him out of the room. He kicks and screams the entire way out.

Garcia lingers for a few seconds, her eyes locked on the tragic scene. She's glued to place until JJ lets out a sharp "Garcia!"

Hotch feels like a terrible father, but he'll make it up to Jack later. Right now he needs to ease Emily out of this nightmare, she's been stuck in it for far too long.

Emily screams again and doctor Montgomery steps back, the movement is rigid and filled with unease.

"Do you want me to help?"

"No it's okay I've got her. Thank you doctor Montgomery." Hotch gently pulls her wriggling body into his chest. Her screams have quieted down to harsh whimpers as she nestles further into his chest.

"Addison… you can all call me Addison. We've spent enough time together." She smiles kindly and leaves the room quietly.

Emily continues to cry softly against his chest.

"Emily? Emily are you awake?"

"Yes." She exaggerates the word so it sounds broken and tired, exactly as she feels.

'I'm right here, it's okay. I need to go tell JJ to take Jack to the hotel, but I'll be right back okay?"

She nods against his chest and he slowly slips out from under her and leaves the room.

Hotch walks straight to the lobby and looks around for anyone who can go find JJ for him.

Derek and Reid sit locked in conversation across the room, and Hotch approaches the pair quickly. "Can one of you go and find JJ and Jack and tell her to take him to the hotel for me? Actually, it's getting late you should all go to the hotel."

"What are you going to do?"

"Emily just had a nightmare she needs me." Without another word Hotch begins to leave the room.

"Hey wait up" Derek jumps out of his seat and jogs after his boss "We haven't really seen her since she got out of surgery, well everyone except you and JJ. How is she man?"

Hotch stops walking and turns to him "She's not good. Honestly Derek I'm really worried about her. It'll be better once she's out of the woods." He starts to walk away again.

"I want to see her."

"You can, tomorrow. Right now she needs to sleep." Hotch leaves no room for conversation as he stalks back towards Emily's hospital room.

Derek scoffs as he watches his boss retreat. After a few seconds he walks in the opposite direction with an eye roll and a head shake.

When Hotch gets back to the room he turns off the light and climbs into the bed. "Are you still awake?"

"Yes" her voice is small "I don't want to sleep." Even as she says the words her eyes close and her voice is heavy.

"I know you don't, but you have to. I'm going to be right here." Hotch gets under the thin sheets and brings her up against his chest. "Tomorrow I'll have JJ bring your go bag so you can wear your own clothes."

"Thank you." She snuggles deeper into his chest, careful of her injuries. It almost feels like old times if you discount everything that had happened.

It is quiet for a few minutes, so quiet he thinks she had fallen asleep.

"I was so scared I would never see you again." Her voice is small and thick with tears.

It is a completely uncharacteristic declaration. It absolutely breaks his heart.

"I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere. I am so proud of you Emily, you fought so hard and for so long. I am so proud of you."

It's exactly what she needed to hear. She was so afraid that he would be disgusted with her and would hate her but he doesn't. Of course he doesn't. He's a good man.

The floodgates break. Emily lets out a strangled cry and sobs openly into his chest. It was uncharacteristic, but she's absolutely broken and she couldn't care less.

"You don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulder, Emily. Give some of the pressure to me, we'll handle it together." Hotch kisses her on the forehead and brings her impossibly closer.

Minutes later she's asleep.

* * *

 **I know this chapter is at least two thousand words shorter than usual but I literally have no urge to write and I wanted to give you guys SOMETHING. I am really excited to write Emily in this new light as she heals. It is going to be a long process. And don't forget, the brothers are still out there. Also I haven't gotten into the case stuff yet bc she really just got to the hospital and she's pretty much in and out of consciousness so I'll put more of that in when she starts to get better**


	27. the truth

**Hey really sorry it's taken me so long to update. Live sucks and then you die! Thank you to everyone who continues to read my story, I know I'm a slow updater but btwn college and sorority and life in general I'm soooo busy. I usually s.o reviewers by name but that would be so far back in my emails and I'm lazy so pls excuse me:)))) also prepare for feels!**

* * *

 ** _Drip_**

 ** _Drop_**

 ** _Drip_**

 ** _Drop_**

 ** _Drip_**

 ** _Drop_**

There's a leak somewhere in the hospital room. Emily stares at the ceiling above her, clenching her fists to keep her emotions at bay.

Each time a water droplet hits the ground Emily can feel her blood pressure rise. Her feet start bouncing up and down in a nervous manner.

At first she couldn't figure out what it was, why the sound bothered her so much. Then it hit her.

It reminded her of blood dripping from her body and into the drain. It reminded her of what she had gone through, what she is still going through.

 _Don't freak out. Don't freak out. Breathe. Breathe._

 ** _Drip_**

 ** _Drop_**

 ** _Drip_**

 ** _Drop_**

 ** _Drip_**

 ** _Drop_**

Everything is red. Blood is dripping from her arms and her legs. There's too much of it, she drowns in it.

Emily gulps for air and tries to claw at whatever is tangling her legs together. Blood fills her lungs and she coughs and coughs and coughs.

"Emily, Emily?" JJ runs into the room and sets down the bag of clothes she had brought with her quickly.

JJ takes over where Emily had left off and rips the blankets completely off of her body. They fall to the floor with a dull thump.

With the blankets no longer constricting her motion, Emily begins to calm down. The blood recedes from her vision, her lungs no longer filling with the liquid.

Emily takes ragged breaths in and out, the room slowly coming back in focus.

"Are you okay?" JJ places her hands in front of her in a calming manner and sits down on the edge of the bed.

 ** _Drip_**

 ** _Drop_**

 ** _Drip_**

 ** _Drop_**

 ** _Drip_**

 ** _Drop_**

"Oh my god can you fucking make it stop." Emily places her hands over her ears and turns away from JJ. She pulls the covers over her head and tries to block out the sound as much as possible.

"The dripping?"

Emily doesn't answer.

"Okay, I'll take care of it Em." JJ gets up from the bed and starts walking around the room listening closely for the sound. After a few laps around the room, she opens the door and looks into the attached bathroom.

Emily listens for a few seconds until she hears the sound stop, and just like that, all the tension leaves her body. She can think again, she can breathe again.

Slowly the brunette drops her hands from her ears and surfaces from under the blankets. She resumes her position of looking up at the ceiling.

"Is that better? It was the bathroom sink." JJ sits gently on the edge of the bed and tries to make eye contact with the brunette.

Silence.

"Do you want to tell me why it bothered you so much?"

"It sounded like my blood dripping down the drain back in the barn."

The statement catches JJ entirely off-guard. She had expected Emily to be more closed off, to be as detached as her parents said she would be. The last thing she excepted was Emily to open up to her.

Emily continues staring up at the ceiling, there was no emotion in her face or in her voice when she had talked.

"Oh." Is the only thing JJ can manage to say. It's awkward and lame but it's the only thing she can muster while caught off guard.

Emily looks away from the ceiling and towards JJ "you look like you got blown up." It's the first time she had really looked at the blonde. A playful smile turns the corner of her mouth upward, the first hint of a smile she's had in days.

JJ looks away and out of the window. This wasn't a conversation she wanted to have. Emily was going through enough as it is, she didn't need to know how hard it had been for them too.

"Why are you wearing sweatpants….. JJ what's wrong?"

"Nothing, I…."

"Jennifer." The small smile vanishes off of her face. "Why is your face covered in scratches? So was Hotch's…. Oh my god what happened?"

JJ grabs her hand and squeezes. "It's okay, Emily. We're all okay. We have a lot to tell you but right now you need to rest. When you wake up, we'll tell you everything."

"Tell me everything, what else is there to tell me? JJ what's going on? Are they….. is he dead?"

The silence tells Emily everything she needs to know.

"Oh my god….."

JJ drops her head to her chest as a single tear drips down her face "We tried so hard to catch them but they got away. I am so sorry Emily."

With each word, she sinks further into the bed, and further into herself. He was still out there, he could still get to her.

 _I'm not safe here._

As if reading her thoughts "Don't worry, you're safe. Hotch hired guards to stand outside of your room at all times. You don't have to worry." JJ rubs her hand soothingly on Emily's shoulder.

The words fall on deaf ears.

 _He's out there_

 _He's out there_

 _He's out there_

"Emily? Em?"

Instead of answering, Emily turns away from JJ and stares out the window. It looks like a storm is moving in.

Good, the sunshine gives her a headache. It's too bright, it's too happy.

"Get some rest, Emily. I promise we'll talk about everything when you wake up. I love you." JJ hesitantly stands up and leaves the room.

The minute the door closes Emily lets the tears leak out of her eyes. It isn't fair. None of this is fair.

 _Life isn't fair._

The door opens and Emily has to fight to keep the growl of anger that wants to leave her lips. "I thought you were leaving me alone to sleep."

"Unfortunately for you, I don't have to listen to you." Dr. Montgomery walks into the room and picks up Emily's chart from the end of the bed. "How is the pain? Have you self administered any medication?"

Emily fights the urge to roll her eyes. She likes doctor Montgomery for the most part, but her questions annoyed her. "I don't need any pain medication."

Dr. Montgomery sets down the chart and gently turns Emily on her back. Without words, she unwinds the bandages on her arms.

The cuts on her arms make Emily queasy, and she turns her head to avoid looking at them. "Will they leave a scar?"

"It's too early to tell if there is a scar it will be incredibly thin. Do they sting?"

Emily locks her jaw irritably "a bit."

Gently, Dr. Montgomery applies an infection-fighting salve. "That's normal, the pain should start receding after a few days. The cuts aren't very deep."

"Why aren't you having a nurse do this? Aren't you a busy surgeon?"

Dr. Montgomery smiles "I am, but I want to make sure you're okay. I like you, and I like your friends. I just want to make sure you're all okay."

The doctor finishes and leaves without a word.

* * *

"You what?" Hotch angrily crosses his arms and clenches his jaw.

"I had to Hotch, I couldn't lie to her." JJ sits in a waiting room chair with her head in her hands, tears streaming down her face. "What was I supposed to do?"

"What's happening?" Derek walks into the room with Reid and Rossi trailing after him.

"JJ told Emily the brothers are on the loose." Garcia sits next to the woman rubbing her back soothingly.

"She has a right to know!"

Hotch lets out a harsh breath "Not now, JJ. This could have waited until she was more stable. She has enough to deal with as it is."

"There's more" JJ drops her hands and looks around at the team, "I told her we'd tell her everything when she woke up."

"You what?" This time it's Derek who lets his feelings on the subject be known. His eyes are wide and angry as he looks at the blonde.

Rossi steps forward "You two need to relax" he points at Derek and Hotch "maybe this wasn't the best time but she needs to know eventually. After everything she's been through we can't lie to her, she needs to know we're on her side."

"We need to find them" Reid speaks up quietly from the back of the group "she won't feel safe until they're in custody."

JJ nods "the local police are combing the area now, they said they'd call me if they found them. We can go out and help them but I figured we belonged here with Emily….."

Everyone nods.

"Two senior FBI agents should be here soon to guard Emily's door when they get here you all will have more freedom to come and go."

"And you won't?" Derek raises his eyebrows and crosses his arms over his chest.

"No, I won't. I'm not leaving here until Emily does. While I'm here I need you to go back to the police station and work the case. We need statements from all of the officers involved in the case as well as evidence collected from the scene. I want this to be over as soon as possible."

JJ nods along, taking mental notes as he talks. "I'll compile a list of all personnel involved. Forensics bagged all of the evidence from the scene but I'll go down to the station and put a rush on it after she wakes up. I can start typing up a general report while things calm down."

"Thanks, JJ."

"If either brother had a computer I can hack into it and try and find information about where they're going. It shouldn't be difficult."

Hotch nods at Garcia in thanks.

"There's something else….. we have to talk to Emily about getting a rape kit." JJ ducks her head slightly as she says it. Today, apparently, she was the bearer of bad news.

Everyone in the room tenses at the word. It's just a word, but it's a powerful word. A dark, menacing word.

"We can talk to her" Garcia rubs JJ's back again "it might be easier coming from us."

Hotch looks at Garcia with wide eyes. That conversation wasn't going to be fun, and he was surprised she had offered to have it. When the shock passes, he nods his thanks in her direction.

"How is Emily, is there anything we can do?" Emily's parents walk in, each clutching a cup of coffee. They looked disheveled but overall better than when Emily had first been brought in.

"You can sit with her while she's asleep" JJ gives them a kind smile "I'm sure she'll appreciate it. When she wakes up we are going to debrief her."

"What? Why?" Elizabeth looks over to her ex husband, alarm obvious in her eyes.

Robert places his arms on his ex wife's shoulders to placate her "Is she even….. aware? Can she even absorb any information?"

"She goes in and out of lucidity but overall she seems to be doing better than expected" Hotch looks over at the pair "you said she usually doesn't talk for awhile?"

Elizabeth nods " a few weeks at least. Something here must be helping her that she didn't have in previous cases, or someone." The older woman's eyes sparkle in a knowing manner as she looks at Hotch.

Hotch coughs awkwardly and shifts his weight towards the waiting room exit "let me walk you to her room."

* * *

Elizabeth slips into the room quietly. So quietly, Emily hadn't noticed her entrance.

She hadn't fallen asleep yet, wasn't even really trying to. Once she slept she would have nightmares, and when she woke up she would have to face the music.

The older woman stares at her daughter, eyes roaming every injury on her body. It broke her heart to see her daughter like this. To see her only child like this.

Emily stares blankly out of the windows, no emotion showing on her face.

"Darling are you okay?"

Emily jumps at the sudden voice and instantly forces a smile on her face as she lays eyes on Elizabeth. "I'm fine mother. Just a little tired." She shoots her mother a weak smile before looking back towards the windows.

"Well then maybe you should take a nap, your team thinks you're sleeping."

No answer. Emily continues to stare out of the window.

Elizabeth walks farther into the room and takes a seat on the right side of the bed. She carefully picks up Emily's hand and takes it between her own.

"Emily, look at me."

Like an obedient child, Emily swivels her head to look at her mother.

"I have something to tell you."

Emily quirks one eyebrow up as she looks into her mother's eyes.

"What is it, mother?" There's no real question behind her eyes, there's no real emotion.

Elizabeth pushes a lock of dark hair behind her daughter's ear. "30 or so years ago I was walking through an alley at night. I thought it would be faster to cut through instead of walking around. Before I knew what was happening a man threw me to the ground and started to take off my clothes."

The entire time she speaks she continues to move her fingers through her daughter's hair. Her tone is calm and soothing.

"Mother?" Her voice comes out as a painful whimper as she sits up, tears already falling down her face. The story had taken her by surprise, and she wasn't able to control her emotions. Never in her life did she think she would have a conversation like this with her mother.

"shhh Emily it's okay. Let me talk. He was heavy, he was so heavy and I can remember how breathless I was because of that weight. All of a sudden, his weight was gone. I looked up and there was your father" Elizabeth smiles bittersweetly at the memory. "He had picked the man off of me like a rag doll and thrown him to the side."

"Is that….?"

"How we met? Yes, it was. Your father helped me get dressed and dragged me out of that alley." Elizabeth continues to stroke her fingers through Emily's hair.

"I don't understand… why are you telling me this?" Fresh tears leak out of her brown eyes as she stares at her mother.

As if she hadn't heard her daughter speak, Elizabeth continues her story where she left off. "Your father dragged me out of that alley and towards a police station. I panicked, I ripped my hand away from him and took off in the opposite direction. When he finally tracked me down I made him promise not to tell anyone what he had seen, especially not the police."

Elizabeth stops playing with Emily's hair and forces her daughter to look her in the eyes with a gentle chin tilt. "I'm telling you this because I want you to fight. Don't make the same mistake that I did, Emily. You'll regret it for the rest of your life. I'm telling you this because it gets better, it really does. If I had never gone down that alley I never would have met your father. Good can come from the bad."

"I…."

"You don't have to say anything" Elizabeth smiles and removes her fingers from under Emily's chin. "I know I haven't been the best mother to you. I've been busy, I've been cold, I've been… distant. I don't know how to love very well. I want to fix this, I want to fix our relationship." One single tear drips down Elizabeth's face but she doesn't dare try and wipe it away, she's been hiding her emotions from her daughter for too long.

Emily can only stare at her mother in shock, tears streaming down her face before she quickly wraps her arms around her mother.

They had never had a heart to heart. They had never cried in front of each other unashamed.

As Emily hugs her mother she can't help but think that she may be right. Good can come from the bad.

* * *

"She just woke up so we're about to go talk to her."

 _"_ _How long until you're back at the hotel? You need your sleep darlin'."_ Will speaks worriedly from the other side of the phone.

"I should be back in about an hour. Thank you so much for watching Henry and Jack. Maybe Emily will feel up for a visit from the boys tomorrow, I think she'd like that."

 _"_ _Give my love to Emily will ya? Drive safe, I'll see you in a few. I love you."_

"Will do, I love you too. Bye." JJ hangs up the phone and looks over to Hotch. "The boys are good, we should bring them by tomorrow it might make Emily feel better."

Hotch nods "I think that's a good idea but we'll have to check with Addison. It might be too much for her."

"Addison?" JJ questions with a smirk.

"On a first name basis with the hot doctor, Hotch?" Derek looks at his boss with a smirk on his face.

Hotch wipes his hands over his face "by now we all should be, we've spent too much time in this damn hospital. Why, you interested Derek?" Hotch fights hard to keep the corner of his lips from curling up.

They needed this, a comedic release.

"Maybe I am…. Maybe I am."

"Are you ready?" Doctor Montgomery walks into the waiting room, completely unaware of the conversation the group had been having.

JJ laughs and Derek hits her lightly on the shoulder to shut her up.

"Don't hit my patient" doctor Montgomery looks at Derek with a smirk before turning around and leading the group to Emily's room.

Derek watches her walk away and whistles under his breath "yes ma'am." He hits JJ again when she starts to laugh.

"You can talk to her for an hour max. If at anytime her health starts to decline I'm pulling the plug on this whole thing. I'm talking heart rate, BP, paleness of her skin. Anything. Got it?" The doctor stops right outside Emily's room. "I'll be right out here if anything happens. I swear if I even heart that heart monitor getting faster….."

"Thank you" Hotch puts his hands out in front of him in a placating manner "I promise we'll put her health first. One of us will get you if we need anything."

With a nod, Hotch turns the handle and walks into the room. He gives a small smile to Emily and kisses her on the head before sitting in the chair to her left.

When no one on the team reacts Emily looks to Hotch "They know?"

"They know."

It's left at that.

Slowly the team filters into the room. The sight of them has mixed emotions churning in Emily's gut. She was happy to see them, but they also knew everything that had happened to her. She could see the pity in some of their eyes.

"What happened to you three?"

"It's a long story" Rossi starts "but basically we followed a lead to where we thought they were keeping you and it turned out to be a trap. The brothers had rigged the barn and the house, and both were blown to smithereens. We're okay kiddo."

"Were there any casualties?"

"An officer was killed in the explosion."

Emily nods once and drops her head into her hands.

 _It is all my fault._

"How did you find me?"

Derek sighs "JJ realized we didn't know who fathered Patrick and Thomas Young. Hotch remembered that Matthew Baker the infamous serial killer was from this part of Maryland. Matthew Baker fathered the boys and taught them everything they needed to know… you were kept in his barn."

"Matthew… Baker?" Emily looks over to Hotch to see if he had made the connection. His eyes told the brunette everything she needed to know. "Oh my god….. well, it's a good thing you didn't name him Matthew, Aaron."

Hotch can't help but smile Emily's attempt to joke about a conversation they had had earlier, the same conversation that leads Hotch to Matthew Bakers name in the first place.

"We have the local police combing the woods looking for the pair…"

"The woods…. I heard you calling for me."

"You what?" Hotch sits forward in his chair, fists clenching automatically and against his will.

"I had been hiding in a tree when I heard you shouting my name. I was climbing down and I felt a sharp pain so I accidentally let go and by the time I caught my breath you were gone. And I…" Emily clenches her jaw as she fights back the tears that threaten to escape. If she were to keep talking she would dissolve in sobs.

Garcia hovers just over her hand, knowing that she needed the support but if she gave Emily the human contact she needed she wouldn't be able to stop crying. Before she could make a decision Emily unclenches her jaw, the threat of tears over.

"How did they get away?"

The room goes silent. No one wanted to tell her this.

Reid awkwardly coughs and shifts from foot to foot. "One of the drains was fake…. They escaped through it. It connected to an underground tunnel system that let out miles away."

The tension in the room is palpable as the information sinks in.

"I….. I could have gotten out of there?" Emily whips her head up and looks around the room with wide, angry eyes.

"Yes….." Reid squeaks hesitantly "but in your inebriated and injured state…"

Emily holds a hand up to silence him. It hurt too much to think about. Everything hurt. Her body shakes and tears leak out of her eyes freely. "I …. Could have gotten out of there….."

"Emily…." JJ places a gentle hand on her leg. The blonde knew it was the wrong move as soon as Emily whips her head towards her.

"I. Could. Have. Gotten. Out. Of. There. Before…"

The heart monitor begins to beep loudly as Emily shakes more forcefully, anger coursing through her veins.

Almost immediately doctor Montgomery storms into the room. "Everyone out, that's enough for today."

No one moves.

"I mean it, everyone out!"

Emily clenches her fists and picks up the plastic cup next to her. She chucks it across the room as her veins fill with anger. "I could have gotten out of there myself!" She screeches the words, equally filled with anger and sadness.

The movement hurts, but she barely registers it.

"Go!" Doctor Montgomery urgently pushes the team out of the room.

Everyone, except Hotch.

Hotch pushes the tray out of Emily's range of motion and grabs her wrists gently to keep her from hurting herself.

"shhhhhh Emily you need to calm down."

"Aaron Hotchner if you're not out of this room in 5 seconds I'll…" She stops mid-sentence as she sees the subtle changes in Emily's stats. He was calming her down.

The anger leaves her body by the second, a debilitating sadness is left in its place.

Hotch continues to hold onto her wrists and she slowly deflates, her wrists sinking back down to her body. He toes off his shoes quickly and climbs into bed as she begins to sob.

Emily curls into Hotch's side as he moves her head into his chest. He cradles her head and runs his fingers through her hair as she sobs uncontrollably.

"I could have…"

"I know, Em. I know."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

 **So I didn't plan on having doctor Montgomery play such a big part in the story (not that she really Is playing a huge one) but honestly I think it adds dimension so I! am! not! sorry! Also what a throw back the wood scenes are lol I had to go back over 10 chapters to get my details right with that one. Also with the last scene…. I can picture Emily getting angry with that bit of information first over just crying right off the bat about it. It was a total judgement call so please let me know if you think she would have reacted differently! Review review review! I'm thirsty tehehe. Also if there are spelling errors my b i just wanted to get this up!**


	28. Accident

ANNNNNNND I AM BACK! Thank you, as always, for understanding that life gets crazy and sometimes I need to take a break from this story. I will never ever abandon this story tho, don't worry about that! Ok, down to business. The first scene might be slightly ooc but honestly I can see it happening so be patient with me!

* * *

Emily sits in her hospital bed staring out of the window.

The teams earlier revelation had been swimming in her mind ever since. There was a tunnel….. a fucking tunnel.

 _I could have gotten out before_

 _I could have gotten out before_

 _I could have gotten out before_

The same words repeat over and over in her head like a broken record.

Everything hurts. Her face, her abdomen, her arms and legs, her soul. Everything. And yet at the same time, she doesn't feel anything. Her brain had finally shut down, and all that she knew how to do was breathe.

It's strange, feeling so much and yet nothing at all.

"Emily can we talk?" JJ and Penelope walk into the room and stand by the foot of her bed. Both wear intensely grim expressions.

Emily doesn't answer. She continues to stare out of the window at nothing. Rain hits the window in fat drops and creates a calming noise. She had never fully appreciated the sound of it until now.

When they receive no response they both begin to worry.

"Em…." JJ reaches her hand out to touch Emily's feet to draw her attention. As soon as her hand makes contact with Emily's feet the brunette jumps out of her skin.

A gasp leaves her lips and her head whips to meet whatever had touched her. Her eyes are wide and she breathes fast and heavy.

"Woah, Woah it's okay." JJ rips her hand away from Emily's body and brings her hands up in mock surrender.

 _Way to go, Jennifer. Yeah, that's going to help her, scaring her half to death._

Emily shakes her head and the terrified look leaves her face and leaves her feeling insanely embarrassed. A red color creeps onto her cheeks.

"Sorry.. I uh… sorry." The little composure Emily has is slowly slipping through her fingers.

With every second Emily can feel their worry for her increasing exponentially.

"Sugarplum…. We have to talk about this." Penelope hangs onto the end of the hospital bed for dear life. This isn't going to be an easy conversation and she hates talking about dark things. With no colorful toys around her it is becoming increasingly hard to stay positive.

Emily looks her in the eyes "talk about what?"

"Oh, Emily….." JJ shakes her head and moves to one side of the hospital bed.

Garcia follows suit and within seconds the two blondes are sitting in chairs on the left side of her bed.

Silence takes over the room. Neither of them quite know how to start the conversation.

With each second that ticks by Emily becomes increasingly anxious. You could cut the tension with a knife as the three women avoid what cannot be avoided anymore.

Emily sits starring straight ahead at the closed door. If she could just get up and go she would. Blood pumps through her body at an alarming rate as her heart rate spikes to an all time high. She begins to shake. Her face is hot. She knows what they want to talk about.

The fact that it is only JJ and Garcia, the two women on the team, that have approached her wanting to talk tells Emily everything she needs to know about the subject at hand.

A monitor next to her bed makes a high pitched beeping sound to indicate her rapid heart rate. Within a few beeps, it has stopped and Emily has gotten her heart rate under control.

 _relax, damnit_

"I know this is hard. I know you don't want to talk about this…. But you have to." JJ tries to gently coax her into admission.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She'll deny it until she's dead. The rational part of her knows that they know, knows that they watched it but it somehow doesn't matter to her. She will not talk about this.

"Emily, you're shaking." JJ sighs and leans closer to her friend. "If you don't talk about this it's going to eat you alive. You have to let it out."

"What do you want me to say? I was abducted, beaten, electrocuted, and stabbed. I'm dealing with it. I don't know what else you want from me."

"Emily….."

"I'm fine, JJ."

Penelope had stayed mostly silent until then. To see her friend denying what they all knew and suffering in silence was too much. She stands up swiftly and for the first time, Emily looks at her.

"You were raped for god's sake Emily, we saw it! You cant just sit here and pretend it didn't happen. You need to talk about this. If it's not us then someone, god please Emily someone. You can't keep this in. It will destroy you from the inside out, and none of us want that."

It was so unlike Garcia to head the hard part of the conversation, it had every party present off kilter. Garcia herself couldn't believe the words that had left her mouth.

Emily's eyes widen. Until then everyone had been incredibly gentle with her for all of the right reasons.

 _How dare she._

With the little amount of strength she has left, Emily swings her legs out of bed and stands up.

She didn't even know it was possible.

Both blondes instantly bring their hands up to try and steady her, but she didn't need the help. The adrenaline that is coursing through her veins keeps her strong.

"How dare you come in here and lecture me about what I should do" she steps into Penelope's personal space and continues to advance until the blondes back hits the wall behind her. Emily's eyes are wild and her teeth are barred. "You have no idea what I am feeling, you know nothing! Just leave me the hell alone. I'm making peace with it I don't need ANY of you butting in." Her top lip is curled back and deadly rage turns her pretty features cold.

This wasn't what either of them had expected, but maybe it made sense. Emily felt like a cornered animal and she was lashing out like one.

"Em, come on." JJ instinctively puts her hands on the brunette to pull her away from wide-eyed and open mouthed Penelope.

The moment JJ's hands touch her arm Emily flings her hand out to break the contact, ripping the wires connected to the electrodes that are monitoring her heart rate. Luckily she didn't pull out her IV. She turns toward JJ with wild eyes.

"Get the hell away from me. Both of you get out." Her voice is hysterical and tears have started to pool in her eyes. The anger is a defense mechanism, one Emily wasn't quite used to using.

If she talks about it then it makes it real. Then she can't pretend it didn't happen. Then all of them know how filthy she feels.

It felt like she was suffocating.

 _Am I having a panic attack?_

Penelope stands against the wall with her mouth open wide. Never had Emily's anger been directed at her in full force. And at the same time she couldn't even call it anger, Emily was just broken.

The strength leaves her body as fast as it had entered it. Emily grabs blindly for anything that can help steady her and that just happens to be JJ.

"Woah Emily okay come on, lay down." JJ all but shoves Emily onto her bed so she doesn't collapse onto the floor.

When Emily gets settled JJ coughs awkwardly and the sound has Emily narrowing her eyes past the tears that had pooled.

To be upset is one thing, but to feel awkward indicates something entirely different. They had a plan, they had done something.

"What did you two do?"

A knock on the door breaks the tension in the room as their attention is pulled to the stranger.

A petite blonde woman walks in with a small smile on her face and a clipboard in her hand. "Hi, my name is Rebecca, I'm the SANE nurse. Are you Emily Prentiss?"

The blood drains from Emily's face.

"You called the fucking SANE nurse? Are you kidding me? I don't need your help." Her venomous words are pointed at her two friends. As nonchalantly as possible Emily moves her opposite hand to the button that will dispense her pain medication. The side affect of her main medication? Drowsiness.

 _No no no no I can't do this right now. I can't do this._

 _No_

 _No_

 ** _Click_**

 ** _Click_**

 ** _Click_**

 ** _Click_**

 ** _Click_**

 ** _Click_**

 ** _Click_**

 ** _Click_**

She clicks the button until she loses count.

 _That should do it._

Immediately Emily can feel the medicine run through her veins and placate her. In a few minutes, she'll be blissfully asleep. Well, not blissfully asleep, but gone from this situation at least.

"Emily?" JJ's voice seems to come at her somewhere from far away. Her face floats in her vision, the edges are blurred.

"Is she all aright?" The SANE nurse calls from somewhere in the room.

"what's happening?" Penelope speaks for the first time since Emily had yelled at her. Her voice borders on panic as she places the majority of her weight on the mattress next to Emily's face.

Emily feels JJ's hand cover hers and her hand is lifted from the white button.

"She pushed the button for her meds, she'll be out for a while."

"How much did she take? Should she be falling asleep so fast?"

"No she shouldn't, Garcia get the doctor."

Emily hears Garcia run out of the room and into the hallway.

"Emily, Em, honey how many times did you click the button? Emily tell me how many times you clicked the button." JJ places her hands on either side of Emily's face and stares into her eyes. Taking too much pain medication is dangerous and JJ knows it.

Emily smiles for the first time in days. "I lost count."

JJ's eyes widen and she calls for Garcia to hurry over her shoulder. "Emily keep your eyes open. We're getting the doctor to see if you're okay, how do you feel?"

As Emily's eyes begin to close she laughs and relaxes further into the bed "I feel wonderful."

The last thing she hears is JJ's panicked "Emily!" Before the medication pulls her under.

* * *

There is a sudden flurry of activity around Emily's room, nurses rush in and out, her teammates rush in and out.

Agent Hotchner runs in at the first sign of trouble, yelling her name and attempting to shake her awake. Nurses pull him back, but he doesn't listen until the red head doctor steps in front of him and pushes him out of the room.

He watches all of the action from a nearby nurses station.

The medical chatter flies right over his head, but he catches the gist of what happened. It frightens him, that she would try and take the control away from him.

Emily belongs to him.

The nurses are calling it a suicide attempt, but the read headed doctor angrily shakes her head every time it was brought up. He reads her lips through the window as she goes to bat for his Emily time and time again.

There is always an eerie calm after an explosion of activity. It happens every time, no matter the patient and no matter the injuries. A sort of cosmic balance.

The guards are pushed out of the way in the chaos of the situation. A careless, idiotic decision that worked in his favor.

Now, ten minutes later, they have still not returned.

It's a chance, a risky chance, but he does not hesitate to take it.

As soon as he looks both ways, Patrick Young crosses the empty hallway and steps into Emily's room.

The room is dark, but he doesn't need light to see where Emily lays unconscious. She is the light.

His plan was to move fast, but he finds himself unable to move at all when he looks at her. She gives off her own gravity that is separate from the earth's. It is powerful, mesmerizing, alluring.

Patrick isn't sure how long he stands there looking at her, but when her head shifts away from his direct line of sight, the spell is broken.

Quick footsteps echo in the room as Patrick approaches her bedside. The closer he gets the harder it is for him to breathe. He had never wanted to hurt her, he wanted to run away with her. But she would never love him.

Maybe he can make her.

As he goes to touch her face, the door handle begins to rattle. Patrick darts into the attached bathroom and cracks the door just in time for JJ to walk into the room.

 _Fuck_

The blonde walks to Emily's bedside and then, without warning, looks right into the crack the bathroom door creates.

Patrick feels his heart stop and his breath comes quicker. He is bathed in darkness, but it feels as though she can see him.

After a few seconds JJ looks away. She gives Emily a quick kiss on the head and then leaves the room. Doctor Montgomery had said she could see her, but only for a few minutes. It was regulation for the doctor to be the first person the patient sees after an event like this. Someone they know, someone they have an emotional tether to, might upset them more.

As soon as the door clicks shut behind the blonde Patrick is moving to Emily's side once again. This time, however, his movements are sharp and purpose driven. He can't afford to get caught.

Patrick reaches into his stolen lab coat pocket and brushes up against the box of red hair dye he had used and the dark brown contacts he had purchased. At first glance, to anyone on the team, he would look like a random doctor, but if they looked closely they could easily tell it was him.

His calloused hand pushes past the stray boxes and locates the piece of paper. With quick movements, Patrick retrieves the paper and tucks it in the inside of Emily's hospital band.

Emily shifts in her sleep, and when she moves something silver catches his eye in the palm of her hand.

It piques his interest, and though he knows he should high tail it out of there, he had never been very good at controlling himself.

With careful fingers, Patrick uncurls her fingers and snatches the necklace from her fingers.

The usually vigilant agent remains asleep, the drugs still swirling around her system prevent her from resurfacing to the waking world.

Patrick brings the necklace closer to his eyes while a frown pulls at his lips. The back is engraved. "Who the fuck is Matthew" he tuts his tongue several times "someone's been busy."

 ** _"_** ** _I just want to see her for a few minutes."_**

 ** _"_** ** _Aaron get out of my way I have to get in there…."_**

 ** _"_** ** _Just two minutes, I just need to see her with my own eyes."_**

Patrick drops the necklace as the voices get closer and closer to the door.

 _Shit_

 _Think damnit!_

The door handle rattles.

Patrick dives under the bed just as the door swings open and two sets of footsteps enter the room. His heartbeat is in his ears and he doesn't dare breathe.

"You have two minutes, not a second more."

The door opens and closes as the fiery doctor leaves the room, leaving Aaron Hotchner alone in the room.

Anger quickly replaces fear as Aaron Hotchner sits on the hospital bed starts talking to Emily.

His Emily.

Patrick's fingers itch to take the knife out of the other side of the lab coat and stab at the agents' feet. Just one slice to the Achilles heel and the son of a bitch would be done for.

It would be so easy. Too easy.

He wants it to be a fair fight. He wants Aaron Hotchner to know that Patrick had beaten him fair and square. He wants to see the light leave his beady little eyes.

At some point, while Patrick waged his inner war, the red-haired doctor came back into the room and practically dragged the agent out.

The closing of the door brought Patrick back from his vengeful thoughts and reset his brain.

After waiting for a few seconds, Patrick quickly scrambles to his feet and leaves the room with a smirk on his face.

* * *

 _Beep_

 _Beep_

 _Beep_

The sound of the monitors in the room is the first thing she registers, even before opening her eyes. She has no idea how much time has passed.

She does, however, know what happened before she had fallen asleep. She had pressed for her pain medication, way too many times.

It was stupid and she knows it, she just didn't want to deal with the situation.

Emily opens her eyes slowly, it takes an incredible amount of strength to just crack them open. She can feel the pain medication circulating in her blood stream.

The first thing she sees is a pissed off redhead.

"Emily, glad to see you're okay." Doctor Montgomery sits in a chair to the right side of her bed, her arms are crossed over her chest.

Emily goes to respond but her voice cracks. The doctor quickly passes her a cup of water. After gulping the water down she places it on the bedside table and looks back to the woman.

"I guess I took too much medication?"

Stupid doesn't look good on her.

Doctor Montgomery scoffs and narrows her eyes. "I specifically told you to click it twice, three times max for your pain. How many times did you press it?"

"Eight, roughly. I'm not sure I lost count." Emily answers while averting her eyes, sounding every bit like a child who is currently being chastised.

"Eight? That's four times the recommended dosage. You could have done serious damage, do you understand that?"

Emily nods.

Doctor Montgomery lets out a big breath of air and rubs her hands over her face. "I won't call this a suicide attempt, but any other doctor would."

"A suicide attempt? What? Are you kidding me? That's not what I was doing at all!"

"No Emily, I am not kidding you. Do you understand how dangerous it is to take too many depressants? With the damage to your system, I'm surprised you're awake. We almost pumped your stomach." The doctor shakes her head and stands from her place next to Emily "I've removed the manual drip from your control, it'll be automatic now."

Emily sits up suddenly "No, I don't want the pain medication."

"You sure seemed to want it a few hours ago." Doctor Montgomery cocks her head and crosses her arms against her chest.

"Okay, that's fair."

"To get my bosses off of my back and to get your team off of yours, I've scheduled a psychiatric consult."

Emily instantly begins to protest but one look from doctor Montgomery silences her. She had a glare that could match Hotch's.

"You don't have any room to argue" Dr. Montgomery lets out a breath and steps closer to the bed "I am not the enemy here. The people outside this room are absolutely furious with you, rightly so. I'll give you more details about the psych consult after they have left." The doctor turns to leave.

"Doctor Montgomery?"

"Yes?"

"Is there any way you can stop the pain medication from dispensing? It….I…..I just really don't want to sleep."

The underlying tone of vulnerability cracks through the doctors tough exterior. She wasn't trying to kill herself, she just didn't want to be in pain anymore. Not the pain that medicine will heal, but invisible scars that cut deeper than anything that could bleed. "Let's keep the drip on for at least a day and revisit the topic? Hmm?"

Emily begrudgingly nods and watches the pretty doctor leave the room.

As soon as she leaves the entire team comes storming in. All wearing the same mixture of anger and fear on their face.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself" Emily avoids eye contact as she starts picking at a loose thread on her blanket "I just didn't want to have a rape kit done."

The vulnerability of her voice cracks through JJ's tough shell and she sits on the edge of Emily's bed.

Emily soaks in the contact. She moves her body to the left side of the bed and JJ seamlessly slides into position next to her.

JJ tucks her arm into Emily's without hesitation, resting her head against the brunettes. Her smell calms the turmoil in the blondes soul.

"We know that, gattino." Rossi moves further into the room and tries to break up the tension with the use of the familiar nickname. Gattino means kitten in Italian.

Hotch stands closest to the door. Emotion clouding his handsome face as he avoids making eye contact like the plague.

"Statistically speaking, with the amount of pain medication you took and the LD50…."

Derek grabs onto Reid's arm to stop him from talking. No one needed to hear how statistically unlikely Emily being alive right now is.

The contact has Reid bowing his head in a silent act of surrender. He wasn't going to bring up another statistic or fact again while he was in here.

"Hotch" one word has never sounded so loaded "please look at me." Tears threaten to leak out of her eyes and her voice is raw as she pleads with him. She couldn't stand this, the distance between them and the look in his eyes.

A rouge tear slips down his face and he hastily wipes it away. He forces himself to look at Emily and it nearly breaks his heart. The pain in her eyes is so deep and so raw it breaks down his defenses.

Wordlessly, Hotch walks forward and sits in the chair to the right of her bedside. He takes her hand in his and kisses it gently. "You are not allowed to die on me, do you hear me? You are not allowed to die."

His voice is shaky and full of emotion as he rubs the back on her hand with his thumb.

It's an incredibly intimate moment and other members of the team look away to offer even the slightest bit of privacy.

The sound of crying breaks up the moment and Emily looks around wildly to see who it is. Her eyes land on Reid and a few tears of her own break through the barricades. She hated that the team was in pain because of her.

Everything was her fault.

"Reid come here….. come on." As if coaxing a dog, Emily gently lures him closer until she can grab his hand.

Hotch immediately unwinds from Emily and excuses himself so she can focus on Reid. Rossi follows without a beat. The two senior agents recognize the difficulty in expressing your emotions in front of your boss, even if they were a family.

"I was scared you were gone" the genius wails out miserably "again."

The declaration hits Emily like a bus. She had done so much damage to the people she cared about and she hadn't even realized it.

Before long they're all crying. Tears born from sadness and pain, tears born from relief and happiness.

"I'm sorry" she breathes out between cries.

"I'm so sorry."

* * *

 **Woohoo what did the piece of paper say that Patrick slipped under Emily's band….. read next chapter to find out tehehe. Also I have no idea if you can fit under the hospital bed yikes. Also I really don't want anyone to think I'm prioritizing Hotch over the other members of the team when it comes to time with Emily, I want to start doing one on ones with other members of the team but I am afraid I will write the others wrong and way ooc. I'm working on it people! Hotch, JJ, and Emily are definitely the ones I'm most comfortable with writing so that's what we get.**


	29. The note

HELLOOOOO AND WELCOME BACK! To clear things up Emily has only been in the hospital for a few days, I know it probably seems like longer but it's only been a few! I am horrible with keeping my timelines correct so this was as much for me as it was for you guys lol. Also from the world of private practice, doctor violet turner. Again this is not a cross over I just don't have the creativity to create a new character bc I wrote this all IN ONE DAY. I went stupid AND crazy! It really just poured out of me like never before. Thank you Dauntlessfourever and zhangxinna for reviewing! If anyone else did I didn't check my email in time to see it before publishing this but thank you sm!

* * *

Emily takes in a deep breath as the SANE nurse float back and forth across her room, following each step of the rape kit.

It wasn't an option whether or not she was going to get the rape kit done, not really anyway. She knew she needed it done so she had asked for one herself after they had all stopped crying.

The accidental overdose was embarrassing, and It was time to move forward, it was time to put the bastard behind bars. Both of them.

However, It was driving her crazy: the constant moving and the endless questions and the dozens of samples being collected.

A singular touch would bring her back to the barn, a simple word would have her retreating back into herself. She had known it would be difficult to get through, but she didn't know how bad it was going to be until she was in the thick of it.

It had been going on for hours, and she was ready to slap the small smile off of the SANE nurse. Her endless chirping was driving Emily up the fucking wall.

The room was strangely dark and whether it was the storm raging outside or the storm raging inside that sucked the light out of the room, Emily couldn't tell.

Emily bounces back and forth from feeling aggravated to feeling nothing at all. A change, that quite frankly, scared her. She could feel Jade just under the surface, seductively willing Emily to turn off her emotions and let her take control.

It was a fight Emily was not willing to lose. A fight that made her feel like she was going crazy.

Reid had warned her of this before she went undercover before everything had gone to shit. His words echo in her mind _"There's a high number of law enforcement that goes undercover and find it incredibly hard to come out, in fact….."_

Emily's train of thought is cut short as the SANE nurse, Rebecca, hits a particularly sore spot. She hisses in protest and jerks her body away from the blonde woman.

Rebecca lifts her eyes and the expression in them is dangerously close to pity as she taps Emily's leg gently in a motion that is meant to soothe her but instead puts her more on edge.

The individual sent from victims services, who had sat quietly in the corner until now, looks at her watch and back up at the nurse. "How much longer is this going to take? I think Emily could use a break."

"I'm fine." Emily snaps a little too hotly as the SANE nurse removes her gloves and throws them into the trashcan.

"I'm just about done, I just have to go get Emily her medication." She attempts a soothing leg tap once again before leaving the room.

On instinct, Emily kicks her leg out where the nurse had just touched her as her top lip curls in disgust. "I really don't like her."

JJ, who sits at her side, fights a laugh. That's the Emily she knows and loves. "I don't think you're supposed to."

Emily hums in agreement and squeezes her hand tighter in JJ's. The blonde had been by her side every second of the rape kit. It had taken hours, but JJ didn't seem to mind in the slightest. Without her, Emily doubts if she could have gotten through the examination.

"How are you doing Emily?"

Emily rolls her eyes and looks to the victim services agent in the corner. She was a pretty brunette with hair lighter than Emily's and bright blue eyes. She didn't seem to be discouraged by Emily's foul mood in the slightest.

"Just peachy. In fact, I've never wanted to be anywhere more in my life. I…" Her tone is dripping in sarcasm and her head is cocked dangerously to the side as she toys with the younger woman in the corner like a cat does a mouse.

"Emily" JJ interrupts lightly with a shake of her head and looks to the woman in the corner "she's okay, thank you."

The woman nods, unfazed, and hands JJ a card. "This is my business card if either of you needs anything do not hesitate to reach out. I'll be calling you in a few days to check in. It was nice to meet you both. Take care, Emily." She gives the pair a small smile and retreats without another word.

When the door closes, Emily looks to the blonde at her left. "What was her name again?"

JJ surpasses a laugh as she shakes her head and scoffs "Emily, we were just with her for three hours and you don't remember her name?"

Emily shrugs nonchalantly and takes the card from JJ. "I didn't care to learn it" upon reviewing the card, she frowns "Charlotte? I swear her name was Karen or something."

A short laugh leaves JJ's lips and she says something in return but Emily is not focused on her. Her eyes are glued to a tiny slip of paper folded in her hospital band that she hadn't noticed before. She can just make out the EMIL of her name before the band covers the rest from sight.

Without actually knowing what this is she knows what it is. What else could it be other than a note from him?

"Emily, what's wrong, are you okay?" JJ furrows her brow as she tries to catch the brunette's eyes.

Emily forces her eyes up to JJ's and plasters on the worlds worst fake smile. "I'm fine, just a little tired. Do you mind going out and getting my medication from Rebecca? She's taking forever and I just want to sleep."

JJ nods unconvinced "sure thing, Em. I'll be right back." With another look over her shoulder, JJ leaves the room in search of the blonde nurse.

As soon as JJ leaves Emily rips the piece of paper out from under her band and holds it close to her face. A messy "Emily" is on the front and she quickly puts it in her pillowcase before JJ can return.

Her heart beats fast as her mind races with all the possibilities that note could be. But what did she want it to be?

She wants it to be a note telling her to meet him. She wants to meet him and shoot him at point-blank range. She wants to watch his blood water the earth as she stands over him. She wants….

The door opens and Emily quickly shakes her head to rid herself of the dark thoughts. She can't go after him, not with everything she had put the team through. It would be a suicide mission. If she didn't die, they would never let her out of sight.

"Here you go, Em. Rebecca said to take them with plenty of water and…" JJ stops mid-sentence when she lays eyes on Emily. Something had happened, something was wrong. "Are you okay?"

Emily smiles more convincingly this time as her brain fires on all cylinders with the possibilities inside that note. All she had to do was get rid of JJ to read it. "I'm fine, jayje. I just want to take those and go to sleep. Can I…." She reaches her hand to take the pills from the blonde and snatches them from JJ's hesitant hands.

The medication is taken in silence as JJ continues to try and figure out what had just happened and Emily does her best to avoid eye contact.

When Emily places her water cup back on the side table, she looks up at JJ and smiles. "I think I'm going to try and nap now."

"Ok" JJ nods her head and moves forward "do you want me to stay while you sleep?"

"No," Emily says a little too quickly, "I think I just want to be alone. Do you mind telling the agents outside not to let anyone in for a few hours?"

JJ scowls slightly in confusion but nods her head nonetheless "Sure, Emily. Call if you need me. I love you." JJ squeezes her hand sweetly before turning to leave.

"I love you too, JJ" Emily calls out as the door shuts behind the blonde.

Emily waits a few seconds before ripping into her pillowcase and retrieving the letter. Thunder claps as soon as she opens the letter and it causes her to jump. Her anxiety quickly dissolves as her eyes start scanning the page.

 **Emily,**

 **I miss you more with every second that passes. My heat beats solely for you. I know you made a mistake when you denied my request that we go away, but I am giving you another chance. A chance that I will quickly take away if you try anything funny. Meet me at our place in one week, 8:00 pm. If you do not show I will kill you, and everyone you care about. If you tell anyone about this, I will kill your friends but leave you alive. I will know. I have eyes everywhere. There will be a treat delivered to you sometime before the end of the day. I hope you are as excited as I am. I hope to see you soon, angel. Be a good girl, I'll be watching."**

 **Thinking about you every day.**

 **Patrick.**

Emily rereads it several times through and then several times after that. Tears leak down her face as she continues to re-read the letter. She had no choice, she had to go and meet him.

Leaving with him was the only thing that would save everyone she loved.

 _Unless I kill him first._

The thought has heat springing to her face and has her fists automatically clenching. He had taken everything from her, and he wasn't about to take anything else.

With a hardened expression, Emily locks her jaw and places the note back in her pillow. She looks out the window with a newfound determination.

"One week."

* * *

"Who's going to go in there and tell her she has therapy in an hour." Morgan looks around at the various members of the team scattered in the empty waiting room.

Rossi and Reid had gone back to the hotel to catch a few hours of sleep leaving Hotch, Morgan, Garcia, and JJ. Emily's parents had gone to sleep as well but to a different hotel.

Garcia moves to do a "nose goes" until Hotch sends her a scowl and she drops her hand immediately away from her nose.

"I've told her too much bad news" JJ shrugs and holds her hands out in front of her with her palms up "it's someone else's turn."

Garcia nods her head "She almost ripped my head off when I tried to suggest her getting a rape kit so I'm definitely not it." She laughs humorlessly as she tries to keep the hurt out of her tone.

"Babygirl she was just scared….."

"I know" Garcia holds her hands up in mock surrender "I have to get to the station and look at a cell phone one of the brothers dropped, anyway. Forensics just brought it in, their tech guys can't crack it."

Hotch nods quickly and all but shoves Garcia out of the waiting room. The prospect of new evidence exciting him more than it should. "Go Garcia, and call if you find anything."

"Yes, sir but my…" Garcia cranes her neck to find her purse but Hotch already has it in her hands and moves her out of the waiting room.

When the bubbly blonde is out of the room JJ laughs and quickly covers her mouth with her hand as Hotch turns around and glares at her.

The glare is filled with curiosity though, nothing negative resides in his eyes.

"What?"

"Hotch you basically just threw her out of the room."

"Can you blame me?" Hotch looks back and forth between JJ and Morgan and relaxes slightly when he finds no judgment in either of their eyes.

When he is met with silence he nods simply and looks back and forth between the pair "so who's going to tell her?"

* * *

It ended up being Derek that was chosen to tell her.

At first, he was hesitant but as he walks to her room he can't help but have a little skip in his step. He hadn't been alone with Emily since she had been found, and he couldn't wait to see her.

The agents at her door nod to him and move aside so that he can enter.

The room is dark and it takes several seconds for his eyes to adjust to the lack of light. The rain creates calming background noise as he walks further into the room.

Emily lays asleep in her bed, her hair covers her face as she lays on her right side facing the window.

The sight of the sleeping brunette brings a small smile to Derek's face. Of course, he was upset with her for the stunt with the medication, but he understood it. He understood it too well.

With quiet feet, Derek searches for the dim light next to her bed. He didn't want to scare her awake. She had been scared enough in the barn to last a lifetime.

When Derek finds the light he switches it on and carefully sits on the bed next to her.

"Emily," he says softly as he slowly moves the hair out of her eyes. He had watched Hotch wake her up enough times to know that has to be done slowly otherwise she would panic. '

Gently Derek starts to comb his fingers through her hair.

The contact has Emily's face screwing up as she moves her head to avoid whatever was pulling her out of her sleep.

"Emily, you need to wake up." His voice is louder this time, just loud enough to penetrate through the fog but not loud enough to scare her.

"No" she whines and flops on her stomach away from Derek "five more minutes."

Derek laughs despite himself and smiles. It was comforting to know he could wake her up without frightening her. It was easier than he thought it was going to be, she must not have been asleep for very long.

"Sorry princess, I have been ordered to wake you up and make sure you get some food in you before your appointment."

"What appointment?" Emily grumbles into the pillow, feeling more like herself than she had in days. Derek had woken her up many times and it almost felt like they were about to jet off on a case.

Derek pauses a moment before grimacing "the psychologist Addison was talking about."

That has Emily awake. She carefully turns so she's facing Derek with wide eyes "she was serious about that?"

"come on Em, you knew she was" he teases lightly as she groans "sit up and wait for your food."

Emily lets out another groan as she brings herself up to sit and crosses her arms. "I'm not hungry."

"Well, you better be in two minutes when a nurse brings food in for you." Derek raises his eyebrows and looks at her knowing she has no room to argue."

With a roll of her eyes, Emily concedes and then crosses her arms. A grin pulls at her lips "Addison huh? You on a first name basis with my hot doctor?"

Derek laughs through his teeth "your hot doctor? You thinking about leaving Hotch for her?" He wiggles his eyebrows and smirks at her.

Emily laughs while shaking her head "nope don't think so, but you should ask her out. She seems nice."

Before Derek can respond a nurse walks in with food and leaves it in front of Emily before leaving without a word.

"Damn, what did you do to her?"

Emily shrugs and picks up her fork "I think they're all afraid of me because I'm a basket case." She says it nonchalantly but the hurt rings loudly in her words.

It has Derek frowning and he gets closer to her with gentle steps. "How are you doing, really?"

Emily pushes her food around on her plate before she stops pretending she's going to eat all together. "I don't want to talk about it, Derek."

"I'm not leaving" Derek shrugs her shoulders as he takes a seat next to her bed "talk to me. I know you don't want to, but you need to. Trust me."

The last two words leave his lips smaller than the previous ones. It has Emily looking up at him with a frown painting her lips. It is a stark reminder that Derek had been through the same type of pain when he was younger.

His shoulders are strong and his head is high as he looks back at her with open eyes. His guard is down specifically for her, and it warms her heart to know he was willing to revisit his pain to ease hers.

"I feel…" Emily looks down and plays with the skin around her thumbnail "small. I feel powerless and ashamed and disgusted and and and just….." Emily brings her hands up to her hair and bends her fingers into claws that dig into her scalp. "I used to be so comfortable in my skin and now I just want to claw it off and rip out my hair….."

Derek listens patiently without interrupting. It breaks his heart but he doesn't let it show as he nods along to what she says.

When she seems to be done Derek gently wipes her tears and takes her hand in his. "I want you to feel all of those emotions for the next five seconds and then I want you to take a deep breath and realize that none of those things are true. You are not small, you are not powerless, and you are not disgusting. You are powerful and beautiful and loving and so important to me. You are Emily Prentiss, and if you ever forget I am here to remind you."

Tears pour out of her eyes but this time, they are tears of relief. To hear someone tell her that she is nothing like she feared lets a little light back into what feels like a dark heart. She doesn't fully believe him, but that'll more than one speech to fix. She has a long road of recovery.

Derek brings his hand up to her face and rubs her cheek with his thumb. "I'll always be here, Em. I'll always be here."

* * *

By the time the psychologist walks into her room, Emily is already emotionally drained. The knock on the door has her mood plummeting exponentially.

She doesn't answer at first, but when she hears the second knock Emily lets out a groan and drops her head back on her pillow.

"Come in" her voice is tired and hoarse from crying.

Derek had left just minutes before. She had missed him, and talking to him begrudgingly made her feel better. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to talk to this shrink.

The door opens slowly to reveal a petite brunette with big curls and bright blue eyes. She has a smile on her face, and Emily finds that unlike the SANE nurse this smile didn't feel patronizing.

"Hi Emily, I'm Doctor Violet Turner." Her voice is soothing and the doctor doesn't hesitate to walk closer to Emily's bedside. Her steps are cautious as to not startle the brunette.

It had Emily relaxing a little more into the pillows. Everything the doctor seemed to do was for Emily's benefit. The gentle voice, the careful steps, the soft smile.

"Hi." Her voice is hesitant and it has the doctor smiling a little more. It confused Emily but she didn't say anything.

"Can I come sit next to you?"

Emily nods and the doctor sits gracefully on the seat to her left.

"Are you in any pain? If you are I can call Addison and she can adjust your pain medication."

"No" Emily shakes her head "I'm okay."

"I heard about the incident with the medication." There isn't any judgment in her voice, she's just stating a fact.

"Well isn't that why you're here" Emily snaps as she looks out the window. She felt bad for being short with the woman who just wanted to help, but she wasn't in the mood to beat around the bush.

"It is" Doctor Turner admits with a nod of her head "but you've been through a trauma and accidental overdose or not it's important to talk about the events leading up to it."

"Can I ask you a question?" Emily swivels her head from the window to look at the doctor. Her eyes are cold. Emily knows she's being ridiculous but right now she needs a punching bag and it can't be someone she knows and loves.

"Shoot" Doctor Turner answers with her face calm and open to the question. It wasn't the first time she had had an angry patient and it sure wasn't going to be the last.

"Do you always try to bond with your patients by starting with the most obvious link and working from there? Could you be any more cliche?"

Doctor Turner nods her head with a smile "It helps to work from a common ground before jumping in headfirst but why don't we start with that if you'd prefer it. Can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot" Emily mimics with a sickly sweet smile and a nod of her head.

 _Stop it, Emily. Grow up. This woman is just trying to help._

"Why did you give up in the barn?"

The question feels like a bucket of ice water to the face and heat instantly makes its way to Emily's face. "W.. what?"

"In the barn" Violet speaks softly "you gave up. I want to know why."

"I….. I was tired of fighting" Emily breathes out as she looks back to the window. The question had knocked down all her walls and left her with her guard down. "I was cold and hungry and….. broken."

"Broken?"

Emily huffs out a frustrated sigh, she was never very good at expressing her emotions. She was taught to suppress them from a young age and now it was like pulling teeth to get her to speak about anything emotional. "I had never felt that…. Tired before. There was nothing left in me, he had taken everything."

Doctor Turner nods but Emily can't see it as she continues to look out the window. "And how do you feel now?"

Emily sniffs and laughs without humor "I have no idea what I'm feeling, I don't even know if I'm feeling."

"What do you mean?"

"What is this 20 questions?" Emily snaps her head back to look at the doctor. When she meets doctor Turners gentle blue eyes Emily drops her own and plays with the blanket. "Half of the time I feel angry and sad and small and…. But the other half I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing. It's like he ripped my heart out of my chest."

On instinct, Emily goes to hold the necklace Matthew had given her only to find it gone. Panic seizes ever fiber of her being as she frantically lifts up the sheets in an effort to find the necklace. "No no no no no."

'Emily? What's wrong, what are you looking for?" Doctor Turner gets to her feet and gently approaches the frazzled woman.

"It's gone, It's gone. It's all I have left of him, I have to find it. No no no where is it!?" As the seconds' tick by Emily becomes more erratic.

Doctor Turner places a gentle hand on Emily's arm only for the younger woman to fling her back in her search for the necklace.

"Get off of me! I have to find the necklace. No, no Matthew where is the necklace?" Emily hops off of the bed and instantly regrets it when her legs give out from under her and she sinks to the floor.

"What the hell is going on?" Hotch runs into the room and immediately scoops Emily off of the floor and into his arms. She was too easy to pick up, and Hotch made a mental note to talk about it with Doctor Montgomery later.

"We were talking and then she realized she couldn't find her necklace….. something about the name Matthew?"

Hotch looks down at Emily and, despite the circumstances, fights to keep a small smile off of his face. She was fast asleep in his arms. Gently, Hotch tucks her back into bed and motions for the doctor to follow him out of the room.

As the pair walk into the waiting room they're met with frantic commotion.

"GET ON THE GROUND!" Morgan has his gun out and is pointing it towards someone who is blocked by the rest of the team, all with their guns out.

As an instinct, Hotch throws Doctor Turner behind him and draws his gun. As he walks closer his steps falter as he sees who Morgan is handcuffing.

Thomas Young.

* * *

YIKES I WROTE THAT IN ONE MF DAY! MY BRAIN HURTS AND SO DO MY FINGERS. Review pls :)


	30. preparation

WOW the 30th chapter! When I started this fic I didn't know if I was going to continue it or not so to see that I've made it to the 30th chapter really warms my heart. Thank you to those that have stuck by me since day one, I know I'm not always punctual when updating but I do try my hardest to get the chapters out as fast as possible. There's going to be a little time jump to the day Emily is supposed to meet with Patrick. Te he. Thank you to zhangxinna and dauntlessfourever, the only two people that ever review my chapter lol. You guys rock I don't know what I'd do without you.

* * *

"Where is he?"

"I don't know! That's what I've been trying to tell you!"

Thomas Young lays his palms flat on the cold metal table. The handcuffs around his wrists jingle slightly with the movement. They chafe his skin but he figures it could be worse, he has certainly dealt with worse.

"See the problem is, I just don't believe you" Rossi shakes his head as he leans back in his chair, arms folding across his chest.

The room is dark and cold as Rossi continues to interrogate Thomas, something he's been doing every day for the past six days. It was always the same: Rossi asked where Patrick was and Thomas denied knowing the answer.

As soon as Derek had handcuffed him in the hospital a week ago from today, Thomas was booked and shipped to the county jail.

"Let's go over it one more time, hmmm?" Rossi leans forward bringing both his hands together in front of him, getting into Thomas's personal space to intimidate him.

The younger man shrinks back into his seat, much to Rossi's delight, and fidgets his hands on the table. "We got out through the tunnel and ran into town. We found a car and stole it and then stayed at a motel for a few days until I walked into the hospital a week ago!"

"what motel?"

"I don't remember!"

Rossi slams his flat palm against the table making a loud sound that vibrated through the small room. "Why are you lying to me, Thomas?"

"I'm not!"

A scowl darkens Rossi's face as he leans back in his chair "why the hell did you walk into that hospital room?"

Thomas shrugs his shoulders slowly, hopelessly "because Patrick asked me to."

"Just like that?" Rossi shakes his head, entirely unimpressed "you walk into police custody just because he asked you to."

"I owe him everything. He is the only one who has looked out of me my entire life. Have you ever had anyone put your every need first, for your entire life? Do you have a brother?"

Rossi shakes his head "no, I can't say that I have. That doesn't mean I would let my brother torture, rape, and murder countless women. No one deserves that, least of all Emily." His voice is soft but his lip is curled back in disgust.

"I know" Thomas stands up quickly only to be pulled back down by the handcuffs attached to the table "she was different, she was perfect. I would have taken her for myself if I could have, no one would ever hurt her. Can I see her? I miss her terribly."

"You disgust me, you're no better than your brother." Rossi stands from the table and begins to exit the room.

It's as if a flip is switched. Thomas moves forward menacingly and folds his hands together "she will never be free of me, of us. Every time she closes her eyes we will be there. Watching. Waiting. She will never forget us."

Rossi's muscle tense and he sees red as Thomas continues to speak. He takes several deep breaths to stop himself from doing something that would jeopardize the case.

 _You can't go to prison. You can't go to prison. You can't go to prison._

In one swift movement, Rossi darts his leg under the table and pulls the chain connected to the handcuffs toward him.

Thomas is slammed against the cold metal countertop and lets out a groan as his nose connects with the hard surface.

"Oops, my bad. I'm so clumsy" Rossi shrugs his shoulders and turns to leave "I'll see you tomorrow."

 _That felt good._

* * *

"You've shown immense progress over this past week…"

 _I could strap a gun on my ankle_

"Your bruising has healed remarkably….."

 _No you idiot, he would find it_

"The shallow cuts on your arms and legs show no sign of infection….."

 _Maybe I could put a knife in my bra and then take it out and then….._

 _"_ Emily, can you hear me?" Doctor Montgomery waves her hands gently in front of the brunettes face in an attempt to gain her attention. "Have you heard anything I've been saying?"

Emily picks at her nail in deep thought until she notices the doctor wave at her and promptly jumps slightly as she is dragged back to attention.

It had been six days since she had read the note left for her in her hospital band. Left by her captor, left by her rapist.

"Are you okay?" Hotch gently moves his hand up and down her forearm in a comforting manner while sitting by her bedside.

"I'm fine" Emily smiles weakly as she locks eyes with Hotch. "I'm sorry what were you saying, doctor Montgomery?"

Doctor Montgomery smiles warmly and tips her head forward in acknowledgment "That's okay, Emily. I was telling you and agent Hotchner that you've recovered tremendously over this past week. You've put on weight and even gained some muscle back, your blood pressure and EKG results are normal, you've progressed rapidly in your physical therapy. You're somewhat of a wonder patient."

Emily smiles weakly and feels Hotch squeeze her arm, a gesture that screamed he was proud of her.

 _No shit_

After Emily had received the note from Patrick she had become more determined than ever to get as close to her old physical health as possible. She was still far from it, but she had been doing everything she could to prepare for the next week.

Nightly sprints across her room (which was a hell of a lot of back and forth), crunches for hours after everyone had gone to sleep, eating as much as she could whenever she could. She even started collecting things she would need: an empty water bottle, a ratty pair of sneakers, she had even managed to find an old compass.

A day after she had received the note Emily had made them take her outside. At first, it was in a wheelchair, but now she was able to walk freely around the hospital and its grounds as she wished.

"Thank you, I just want to go back home and sleep in my own bed."

 _Liar._

"I can tell" Addison smiles and puts down her chart "you're still a week or so away from being discharged but I could not be more pleased with your progress."

Emily sits up quickly and cocks her head "excuse me? I thought with how well I would be doing… I thought I could be discharged by tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Hotch wrinkles his brow at the urgency in her voice "what is happening tomorrow?"

An exhausted sigh leaves her lips and without warning, tears start to stream down her face. She puts her hands over her face as the cries wrack her small frame.

"Hey, sh sh sh what's wrong? Emily talk to me?" In a practiced movement, Hotch toes off his shoes and climbs into bed with her.

It was intimate, and because of it doctor Montgomery quietly leaves the room without another word.

"I've been lying to you" she chokes out between quiet cries.

"What do you mean?" A pang of dread shoots through his system but he doesn't let it creep into his voice. His legs tangle with hers as he pulls her further and further into his chest.

Emily snuggles into the comfortable nook and lets out a deep breath. "I got a note from Patrick a week ago telling me to meet him."

The silence stretches for a long period of time while Hotch tries to process what she had just said, as well as try and calm the fear he felt.

Hotch breathes deeply and then asks calmly "what do you mean he left you a note asking you to meet him a **week** ago." The frustration creeps out on the word week, but it isn't directed at her. He is frustrated at the situation and the cruelty of it all.

Emily moves further into his chest engulfing herself in his scent "He slipped it into my hospital band when I was asleep. I didn't tell you because I wasn't sure what I was going to do. He said if I told anyone he would kill all of you and not me and if I tried anything funny while there he would kill me and then all of you. I didn't know what to do."

 _You. Bitch._

Hotch strokes her hair as he absorbs the information. He can understand why she was hesitant, he really can. It doesn't change the fact that he felt hurt she didn't come to him.

"Were you thinking about going after him?"

It was a question she was prepared for, but it didn't make her feel any better when she actually had to answer it. "At first, it's all I could think about. But then I thought about you and JJ and Derek and Reid and Rossi and Garcia and…. I just couldn't let anything happen to any of you."

 _And nothing will._

Hotch nods, his head on top of hers making hers shake as well. "Nothing is going to happen to any of us. You know I have to tell the team, right?"

"I know. I didn't want to put you guys through any more pain. I've caused so much pain."

"No" Hotch pulls her closer " **YOU** haven't done anything to put us in pain. It was all him. We'll figure this out, together. Did you think he would get to you if we didn't go home tomorrow?"

Emily nods into his chest and tries feebly to dry her tears. After a few moments, she puts her hand flat on his chest and pushes back from him slightly. "I'm sorry I kept this from you for so long." She was, she felt incredibly guilty about waiting.

Hotch gives her a lingering kiss on the forehead "It's okay" he hushes her and rubs his thumb gently up and down against her cheekbone "I forgive you, and I understand why you waited. I am happy you told me."

It was the first kiss he had given her since she had been abducted. It warmed her heart that she wasn't afraid and she curled her fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck.

"Go, go ahead and tell the team and work out a plan. I'm tired and I'd like to nap if that's okay." Emily uncurls her fingers and reaches into the pillowcase to retrieve the note "Here's the note, it's yours."

Hotch takes the note gingerly in his hand as he makes his way off of the bed. After a quick skim, the agent looks up from the paper and back at Emily "what is your special place?"

Emily lets out a deep sigh and rubs a hand over her face "can we talk about it when I wake up?"

"Of course, call me if you need me. Sweet dreams, Emily." Hotch leaves the room quietly, still gripping onto the note for dear life.

When Emily hears the soft click of the door closing she lets out a "fuck" and gets up from her bed. Without skipping a beat Emily goes into her pillowcase and pulls out an empty scrap of paper. Emily carefully scrawls a few words in pen onto the paper and folds it in half.

The shutters covering the long window are closed, and with carefully fingers Emily sticks the folded piece of paper in between one, a position that made the piece of paper unnoticeable unless you knew what to look for.

Patrick knew exactly what to look for. He had been watching her, after all.

Emily gets back into bed and pulls her covers tight against her body. All emotion is gone from her eyes as she thinks about what will happen the following day.

It was true, she wasn't planning on letting anything happen to anyone on her team, and nothing would. She would have to lie to them, but it was all planned out meticulously. The tears were fake, the story about wanting to go home tomorrow was fake, everything but her guilt was fake.

And tomorrow, their "special place" would we fake as well.

She was going after him, and after tomorrow she would be free. After tomorrow she would feel no fear. After tomorrow, nothing would be able to hurt her.

 **You win. Tomorrow. 8:00 Pm. The Barn. My team will be in the woods. Hurt them, and its lights out.**

 **Emily.**

* * *

"He left a note for her."

"A note? How?" JJ stands up from her seated position with shock coloring her bright blue eyes.

Derek also stands from the hard plastic chair "what the hell does it say?"

Hotch clears his throat and lifts the paper closer to his eyes as he begins to read.

"Emily, I miss you more with every second that passes. My heat beats solely for you. I know you made a mistake when you denied my request that we go away, but I am giving you another chance. A chance that I will quickly take away if you try anything funny. Meet me at our place in one week, at 8:00 pm. If you do not show I will kill you, and everyone you care about. If you tell anyone about this, I will kill your friends but leave you alive. I will know. I have eyes everywhere. There will be a treat delivered to you sometime before the end of the day. I hope you are as excited as I am. I hope to see you soon, angel. Be a good girl, I'll be watching. Thinking about you every day. Patrick."

Hotch shakes his head and folds the note back in half. He places his pointer and middle finger between the folds of paper and hands it to JJ. "Will you take it back to the precinct, see if forensics can get anything off of it? It's a long shot, he most likely wore gloves."

JJ takes the piece of paper gingerly in her hand and nods "no problem. How did this happen?"

"He slipped it into her hospital band while she was asleep."

"How?"

"He most likely utilized the diversion caused by Emily's accidental overdose to slip into her room unnoticed. The guards were forced to the side while the doctors and nurses worked on her." Reid stands against the closest wall with his arms crossed over his chest. "He could get in and out in the time it took for the commotion to settle down."

"With the medication, she wouldn't even stir" Rossi finishes for the younger agent and runs his hands through his hair to help him think.

"When did she tell you this?" JJ rubs the piece of paper between her thumb and forefinger in a soothing motion.

"10 minutes ago. She was afraid that he would kill all of us as promised if she told. If he got into the room once he can do it again. He must have come up with a way to blend in and avoid detection while watching her. We need to watch the security cameras to try and pick him out. He'll most likely be back.

"When are they supposed to meet?" Derek begins pacing as he starts to work out a plan on how to take back control of the situation. One wrong move and she could be in danger, they could all be in danger.

Hotch lets out a deep breath and looks up at the ceiling "tomorrow."

"Tomorrow" Derek laughs and shakes his head "you have got to be kidding me, that isn't enough time to plan. What the hell are we supposed to do?"

"It'll have to be enough time" JJ sighs as she wrings her hands together in front of her "I can't believe she didn't tell anyone before, she must be so scared."

"Nothing is going to happen to her, JJ" Reid steps up next to her "not again."

Hotch nods "he's right, this time will be different. Tomorrow we'll put an end to this once and for all. He won't see us coming."

* * *

 **Sorry for the short chapter but it was a necessary filler for the next chapter. Shit! Goes! Down!**


	31. The final showdown

**HIIIIII! Okay this is it, the chapter you all (aka my 2 v loyal reviewers Zhangxinna and Dauntlessfourever) have been waiting for! This is my longest chapter BY FAR but I didn't want to split it up :) It'll be more Emily centric in the later parts of it bc who rlly cares what the team is doing lolololol. Thank you again** **Zhangxinna and Dauntlessfourever** **for reviewing!**

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Absolutely not!" Hotch exclaims as he stares at Emily incredulously. He crosses his arms as he shakes his head in utter disbelief.

The entire team stands around her in a semi-circle, all wearing similar looks of astonishment. Emily herself stands at the window, looking out at the dappled sunlight that somehow seems so far away.

How long had it been since she felt the sun on her skin? Sure she'd been outside in her almost two-week stint at the hospital, but it had been cloudy every time.

Emily shakes her head, she had anticipated this reaction but it made her plan ten times harder. "Look I get it, I really do. I promise nothing is going to happen to me. How can it with you all standing there? I'm not asking to take him down, I'm asking to be along for the ride. I have to be there."

Maybe the more adamant she is the less they'll expect she has an ulterior motive. Which she does. Of course she does.

"I don't want you anywhere near this animal." Hotch takes a protective step toward her as if Patrick is in the same room they're currently standing. His eyes are dark and piercing as he looks into her own for confirmation he knows he won't find.

Emily crosses her jaw in irritation at his protectiveness, no matter how practical it was. At the same time, a jolt of desire shoots through her body at his gaze. It's dark, primal.

"I agree" JJ crosses her arms "it's exactly what he wants. He wants to get you alone and…" JJ trails off, unsure if she should state what everyone was thinking.

"He wants to take me away, he wants to rape me again" Emily nods, finishing the sentence for the blonde with no emotion on her face "I won't let that happen, not again. This time I'm in control." Her eyes burn as she turns her head back to the window.

"There are several variables that would prevent this from being an entirely controlled situation…." Reid trails off when five pairs of hard eyes turn in his direction. He swallows nervously and wrings his hands in front of him "sorry."

Hotch lets out a deep breath and brings a pointed finger out in front of his right side "this is not under discussion. You need to stay here, you're safe here." Another protective step forward. He was within arm's length of Emily, if he reached out he would just graze her arm with his fingertips.

His pointed finger may appear patronizing to anyone else, but Emily wasn't just anyone else. She knows him, knows that he likes to talk with his hands. That's where Hotch shows emotion, through his movements and gestures.

"Last time I checked he managed to sneak into my room and get inches away from me while I slept, _here_." Emily enunciates the last word and raises her eyebrow in a challenge. She knew she was right, they all did.

"I don't like this" Derek shakes his head

"None of us do" Rossi breathes out and rakes his hands through his hair "but I don't think we have another option."

Hotch turns back to look at Rossi, shock sharpening his features "There is absolutely another option" he turns back to Emily "It's not safe, Em." His voice is softer as he reaches out and gently wraps both his hands just above her elbows. It's a comforting gesture.

The soft fabric of the bandages placates him slightly.

The bandages were supposed to be removed in a few days, the shallow cuts slowly starting to heal under the material. Until then she'd continue to look like a mummy, bandages wrapped around both her arms and her legs.

Emily drops her eyes from him, guilt threatening to swallow her whole. "I won't tell you where our special place is if you don't let me go." She speaks softly as she delivers the blow, automatically feeling his arms tighten slightly around her arms in a precautionary grip.

Derek lets out a confused "huh?"

"Our special place" Emily breathes out quietly "it isn't the barn, I know that's where you assumed it was but it isn't" she brings her eyes up to meet theirs "it's deep in the woods. You can't find it without me."

 _You're going to Hell_

The tension is so thick it could be cut with a knife. No one quite knows what to say to that. They had all assumed their "special place" was in the barn.

"I know those woods, you don't. You can't find it without me." Her voice is sharper this time, more firm. It leaves no room for discussion.

You can practically see the gears turning in Hotch's head, trying yet failing to find a way out of this situation.

"Draw a map," Hotch says, voice trembling ever so slightly. This wasn't happening, it couldn't. It won't. She can't be put in harms way again. He had just gotten her back.

"A map" Emily breathes out with a shake of her head "those woods cover miles of ground, you'll never find it before tomorrow." She has them, she can see it on their faces.

Hotch continues to hold her biceps, panic slowly seeping into his movements.

"You won't get out of the car."

"I'll have to, you can't drive through the woods Aaron" her voice is soft again, full of reassurance and sweet like honey. Emily brings her eyes back up to lock with eyes, trying to communicate the courage she pretended she felt.

"I won't lose you again…." His voice is husky and his arms tighten ever so slightly once again around her biceps. The contact is keeping him anchored in place, her smell keeping him from experiencing full blown panic.

The door swings open and heels click against the ground as doctor Montgomery enters. "Alright, let's change those bandages hmm?" Her eyes are down and when she receives no answer she looks up from Emily's chart in her hand and stops dead in her tracks.

The tension in the room skyrockets as the doctor joins the mix. No one dares to move anything but their eyes, discomfort keeping many of the team members rigid.

"Is everything okay…..?"

"Yes."

"No."

Emily and Hotch continue to lock eyes as they wage a silent war, Emily had said yes and Hotch had said no.

"Did I miss something?" Addison looks around the group of people and leans into the closest person to her: Derek. "What's happening?" She whispers the question, her eyes still locked on the pair of dark-haired agents in front of her.

Derek leans in conspiratorially and copies her quiet whisper "mom and dad are fighting over whether Emily can go into the field tomorrow."

Though the situation is serious, his tone is playful and several team members crack a smile at his joke.

"We can hear you Derek" Emily scoffs as she breaks eye contact with Hotch and steps backward out of his grip.

"Sorry Princess" he shrugs, not at all sorry "couldn't pass up the opportunity to mess with you."

Doctor Montgomery schools her face into a neutral expression, though a smile fights to break out on her red lips "You fight much more civilly than my parents."

Derek's grin widens at the comment, reveling in the pretty doctor joining in on their fun. It's what they all needed, a moment to shatter the tension with some jokes.

"Moving on" doctor Montgomery clears her throat and walks farther into the room "medically, Emily is able to come and go from the hospital as she pleases, but only for a few hours maximum. As long as she isn't running and jumping and shooting she should be okay. Can I change your bandages now?"

Hotch darkens at her answer, hoping the doctor wouldn't have allowed her to leave the hospital.

Emily nods and allows the doctor to start unwinding the material from her left arm. As soon as the first arm is completely free of the fabric she can feel all eyes on her wounds. Emily lifts her eyes to meet the eyes of her team and cringes when she sees pity reflected back at her.

Hotch lifts his hands and gently moves his thumb over a particularly deep cut mark. The skin is smooth under his touch and almost healed. "This," he says with a deadly quiet voice as he meets Emily's eyes "is why he won't walk out of tomorrow alive."

XXXXXXX

Emily had spent the entire night pacing back and forth across her decently large room; her feet padding quietly against the linoleum flooring. The floor was cold on her feet but it felt good. The cold kept her awake.

She watched the sunrise in the sky as she paced. With each second that passed her anxiety skyrocketed until it plateaued just as the sun reached its highest point in the sky.

Hotch had wanted to stay in the room with her, but Emily argued that he needed a decent night sleep to catch Patrick tomorrow. Because of that, Hotch left the hospital for the first time since Emily had been brought in.

Emily switches from pacing to chewing her nails in her bed when the sun is high in the sky, knowing someone will be in her room soon to check on her. It was surprising no one had been in already, but she assumed it was because they were trying to let her sleep.

 _Like that was going to happen_

The door swings open and JJ walks in with a small smile on her face, a tray filled to the brim with food weighing down her hands.

"Good morning Em, though I'm guessing you haven't slept much" JJ gives her a sympathetic smile and brings the tray closer to best friends bedside "Hotch went out to a local diner and got you all your favorites. It was sweet, watching him decide what he wanted to get you before he got you everything."

Emily fights the smile that wants to brighten her face while she helps JJ settle the tray on the tilting overbed table that allows Emily to eat on a hard surface while remaining in her bed. "So why didn't he bring the food himself?"

A sigh leaves JJ's lips as the blonde settles herself on the end of Emily's bed. JJ sits with her back against the frame at the end of the bed, her feet resting just by Emily's elbows. "He's a nervous wreck and seeing you will only make it worse."

"Hotch is a nervous wreck?" Emily quirks her right eyebrow as she shovels eggs into her mouth. She has to give it to Hotch, he knows her better than she knows herself. Even if it annoys her to no end.

"Well no, Hotch is Hotch. But his hands" JJ moves them erratically in front of her face to mimic the frantic emotions Hotch displays only in his hands.

Emily nods and lets out a deep breath "I feel terrible. I just…. I don't want any of you to get hurt. Like you already have." Emily tilts her chin up, motioning to the scratches on JJ's face.

JJ wipes at the scratches absentmindedly "They're nothing, Em. I'd do it over again if it meant getting you back and keeping you safe."

 _That's what I'm afraid of_

"Plus it means I get to wear these comfortable clothes" JJ motions to her sweatpants and Yale sweatshirt that Emily had loaned her ages ago "Thanks for the sweatshirt by the way. When I wore it when you were gone it made me feel better."

Guilt bubbles up in Emily's gut and she drops her eyes from the blonde. Tears prick behind her eyes and Emily pushes the tray of food away from her. She isn't hungry anymore.

If anything happens to her when she sneaks off to confront him… it would kill them. She would be killing them, not Patrick. And if anything happens to anyone on the team….. she would be the cause of their death.

JJ interprets Emily's guilt as fear and instantly moves to the top of the bed, pulling the brunette into her arms. As she holds Emily, JJ can't recall if she had ever seen Emily cry before all of this happened.

"It's okay, Emily. Nothing is going to happen to you. To any of us. We won't let him anywhere near you ever again. I'm sorry, Em."

Emily sniffs and pulls away from the blonde "You're sorry? What could you possibly be sorry for?" She searches blue eyes with her brown.

"We argued before you left" JJ's voice cracks, "I thought….. I thought that was going to be the last thing you had to remember me."

This time It's Emily who pulls JJ into her, comforting the blonde as she had done seconds before. JJ buries her head into Emily's shoulder, letting out all of the fear and pain she had kept inside while Emily was gone.

Emily stares straight ahead at the door to her room, eyes hard and without emotion. She has to shut off her feelings if she was going to succeed. She has to become what she had during her time with the CIA: a secret agent, a cold-blooded killer.

It was her only chance.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Ready to go?" Derek walks into Emily's hospital room with a vest and her gun.

Emily turns at the sound of his voice and her mouth opens in shock as she takes in the items he holds. "You're serious?"

Derek nods and starts to strap the vest onto her chest for her "Hotch wasn't happy about the gun, but after Rossi convinced him that it was necessary in case you needed to defend yourself he gave in. It wouldn't be smart to leave you unarmed on the off chance that he got to you. This doesn't mean you get to go off on a rampage, princess." Derek finishes clasping the vest and backs away from her with a serious expression on her face.

Without answering, Emily turns her back on the other agent and pulls a hoodie over her head. She wears a simple pair of yoga pants and a grey Yale hoodie matching JJ's. She had to wear as comfortable clothes as possible: doctors orders.

"I know, Morgan" she rolls her eyes and turns back to him "I'll be out in a second, I have to use the bathroom."

Derek nods without saying anything and leaves to give Emily some privacy.

As soon as the door shuts Emily springs into action. She puts her sneakers on quickly and ducks under her bed to collect the items under it. She surveys the items with a scowl on her face.

It wasn't much, but it was enough.

A flashlight, a water bottle, a pair of handcuffs, and a compass. It was enough to get her to where she needed to go. The Barn.

Emily stuffs the items into her hoodie pocket and leaves the room without another thought. If she stayed and thought for a moment she would realize that it could be the last time she ever saw the room, that it could be her last night on earth.

The team stands outside of her waiting room, the guards gone. They must have the night off while they go hunt for Patrick.

The sun is quickly setting filling the large hallway with darkness that sends shivers down Emily's spine.

"You ready?" Hotch steps up to her and squeezes her shoulder gently. It's obvious how on edge he is, yet he somehow still manages to put her feelings first.

The hand on her shoulder is comforting, but it isn't enough. Without warning, Emily latches onto Hotch's chest and pushes her face as close to him as it can go. His smell placates her the slightest amount.

Ordinarily, she would never break the professional relationship that they had developed in front of the team. But this wasn't an ordinary situation, and she couldn't care less. They had pretty much shattered it the past two weeks anyway.

It takes only seconds for his arms to wrap around her small frame and pull him into her. They both drew strength for each other, but it was over too soon.

"Guys" Rossi clears his throat awkwardly "we need to go now if we're going to make it." He hates to break up the moment but catching Patrick is more important.

The two untangle from each other but keep their hands intertwined. They make quick eye contact before following the others.

"My parents?" She asks Hotch quietly.

Hotch shakes his head and tucks a stray lock of hair behind her left ear "I sent them to their hotel for the night. Your dad didn't put up much of a fight, he seemed to be concerned with how your mother would handle the situation."

Emily nods "he always has been."

"Shit!" Morgan exclaims right in front of them.

As soon as they exit the hospital Emily is blinded by the flash of dozens of cameras. Her name is screamed at her with a volume so loud it ranged on deafening. She gets caught in the crowd, seeing and hearing nothing but the vultures around her trying to get a glimpse at the once abducted FBI agent.

It seems to last forever, the only thing grounding her is the hand connected with hers.

That strong hand yanks her forward and she follows it blindly, realizing on some level that it's Hotch trying to drag her out of the crowd.

"Get out of the way!" He yells at the top of his lungs as he shoves reporters out of the path.

Rossi and Morgan pave the path in front of them, not caring one bit if they get too physical with an individual in their way.

After what feels like forever Derek all but throws her in an SUV with Hotch. The momentum continues and she practically crashes into him, Hotch immediately puts his arms around her to absorb the shock.

Morgan hops into the driver's seat and takes off with screeching tires, leaving reporters trying futilely chasing after the two cars.

"Are you okay?" Every word is laced with anger as Hotch tightens his arms around Emily and pulls her closer into his chest.

This time the contact has an adverse reaction, and Emily quickly crawls to the other side of the car. "I'm fine," she says emotionally as she blows her messy hair out of her face and straightens her hoodie.

A shrill ring breaks the tense silence that had settled over the car and Hotch angrily answers the call and puts it on speaker "JJ, what the hell?"

"I am so sorry, Hotch. I checked all exits thirty minutes before and there was no one there. Someone had to have tipped the reporters off when we were leaving. I'll make some calls and try and prevent those pictures from being published. How is Emily, is she okay? Em, I am so sorry."

"I'm fine, JJ. Don't worry about it, it wasn't your fault." Emily continues to look out the window, no emotion etched into her face or her voice.

"Don't bother JJ, no one could keep those pictures from being printed" Hotch takes a deep breath "don't beat yourself up about it. Focus on the task at hand and forget about this." Hotch ends the call and angrily stuffs the phone into his pocket.

"We're here" Derek stops the car and looks to the pair in the back "show time."

The sun begins to set just as the agents step out of the large black cars. Uniformed officers step out of their cars just behind them, ready and eager to follow orders. They wanted this guy caught almost as much as the BAU did.

"Are you sure you can't direct us to it?" Hotch comes around the left side of the car and meets the other members of the team on the outskirts of the woods.

Emily rolls her eyes "It's at least an hour in…" Emily lifts her arm in front of her "that way. You'll never find it without me. Don't worry, I'm fine." She turns away from the team and starts walking into the woods, not bothering to check if anyone is following her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They had been walking for about an hour. The sun was long hidden away, casting eerie darkness over the forest.

It was silent spare the quiet chirp of the crickets and the occasional bird chirp. The individuals moving through the forest maintained a quiet step, afraid that it would spook Patrick.

The only light source was the beams of the flashlight each agent carried and the moon above them. An officer would occasionally turn his or hers off, under instruction from the BAU. By the end they would only have one flashlight on to make it look as if there was only one person there: Emily.

Emily knew it was all for nothing, Patrick would be waiting for her at the barn. She didn't dare speak out loud the futility of their actions or they would know she had an ulterior motive.

Hotch had refused to give her a flashlight. According to him, she was more likely to do something stupid if she had the light she needed to run off and find Patrick herself.

He was right, but also terribly wrong. He didn't know she had a flashlight of her own tucked away in her hoodie pocket.

"Are you sure we're going the right way?" Derek jogs up and catches Emily's arm in his hands to stop her in place.

The sudden hand on her arm startles her and Emily jumps away from the contact, eyes wide with fast breaths. The forest had messed with her sense of time and place. The smell of the trees and the chirp of birds had her brain going back and forth between the past and the present.

Derek realizes his mistake and brings his hands up in a mock surrender "Woah its okay, Emily. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have grabbed your arm."

"I'm s…. I'm sorry Derek" Emily shakes her head while brushing a hand through her messy ponytail. After gathering her breath for a few moments she turns back to her partner "I know where I'm going, look."

A red scrap of fabric laid in the wet soil under them. The bright color contrasts sharply against the dark dirt, seemingly glowing in the moonlight.

Emily lets out a near silent sigh of relief when she spots the piece of red fabric. To be perfectly honest she wasn't exactly sure where they were. She knew the relative position to the barn, but she didn't know their exact position.

The only thing that mattered was where they were relative to the barn. That way, she could slip away and find the barn with ease.

Another part of her plan had been studying the topographical maps of the area. She had to be able to lead the team far enough away that they were hopelessly confused without her direction but close enough to the barn that she could run and finish the job before they knew she was gone.

It was a tight time table, something she wasn't sure she would be able to do, but she had to try. She was doing this to protect them, and to protect herself.

"Is there a problem here?" Hotch walks up to the pair with JJ trailing just behind him. They had been stopped for several minutes and it had started to worry the older agent.

Emily lets out a "we're fine" as she brings her watch up to her face. It's 7:20. "We should keep going. It's at least thirty minutes in that direction" she brings her arm up to point in the direction they were already heading.

"I thought you said it was an hour walk from the outskirts of the woods?" Derek furrows his eyebrows as he looks at her, not truly confined she wasn't up to something.

"No" Emily starts hotly, "I said it was at least an hour. Forgive me if I can't remember the exact minute count for how far this place is. I was drunk." Emily turns her back on the members of her team and continues walking in the same direction.

Reid jogs to catch up with her "what exactly are we looking for?"

Without turning her head, Emily answers him "There's a clearing with a large tree in the center, he'll be under the tree."

Reid turns to Hotch behind him and the two make eye contact. Both men shrug their shoulders and keep walking, it was plausible.

Emily surpasses the growl of annoyance that wants to leave her lips. The team was too suspicious, too untrusting. It was going to make slipping away that much harder.

After another ten minutes of walking, Emily's cellphone lets out a shrill ring from deep inside her hoodie pocket. She reaches in the pocket with careful fingers, grazing the compass and flashlight as she retrieves it from her pocket.

The rest of the team is spread thin across a large stretch of woods, the closest person to her is a uniformed police officer.

Perfect.

"Prentiss? Hello mother, yes everything is fine" Emily pulls the phone from her ear and looks over at the uniformed officer "this is my mother I have to take this, keep leading them that way" she points forward "we should be there in 20 minutes, I'll be right back."

If the officer wanted to protest her disappearance he didn't say so, and Emily was able to slip away without any trouble. The darkness allowed her to take off in the opposite direction without anyone, other than the officer, being the wiser.

The 20 minutes pass in utter silence as everyone continues forward in search of the clearing Emily had described for them. When the clearing isn't found after five more minutes, Hotch calls the team together.

The team, minus Emily.

JJ arrives first, followed by Rossi then Reid then Derek. They crowd together in a circle, each agent facing the center.

"Do you think it could be a little farther?" JJ puts her right foot on a nearby log to rest it. Technically she was under the same instructions as Emily, though they were less lenient. She wasn't supposed to do any excising other than walking for an hour or two max.

"It could be, Emily was pretty out of it last time she was in these woods." Derek rubs his hands over his head, frustration and general exhaustion getting the better of him.

Hotch looks around and panic instantly seizes him "Guys….."

Reid shakes his head "Geographically it can't be much farther. I studied the topographical maps and there are large rock structures roughly 20 minutes from our current location…"

"Has anyone…."

Hotch is cut off again as Rossi lets out a deep sigh and looks at JJ "radio to the officers to see if they know anything, I don't see….

"STOP TALKING" Hotch growls loudly, the team instantly silencing "Where the hell is Emily?"

Every member of the team looks to the usual spot Emily stands in. When they can't find her they start frantically looking around the dark woods, flashlight beams bouncing off of bushes and trees.

JJ picks up her radio immediately and calls out to the officers, static crackling to life as she turns it on. "Does anyone have a visual on agent Prentiss?"

Silence floats over the airways.

"Agent Prentiss was talking to her mother on the phone, she excused herself to continue the conversation." A young uniformed officer steps up to the circle of agents, Rossi and Reid parting like the red sea to give him access to everyone.

Hotch sees red as he steps into the young officers' personal space "how long ago?" His teeth are clenched as are his fists as he stares down the young man.

"Uhh…. 20, maybe 25 minutes ago. She told me she'd be right back and that it was just 20 minutes in the same direction we were going."

Hotch and Morgan shoot daggers at the younger man.

"Why what's….. oh my god. Oh my god, she slipped away didn't she? Oh my god I am so sorry I…" He stutters as he takes in Hotch's murderous expression. There had been rumors that the two agents were involved, looks like the rumors were right.

"Bring me a map" Hotch spits at the officer "all of you, start looking! She couldn't have gotten far."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The sky is black as coal as she sprints away from her team. Her family.

The sneakers on her feet allow her to move through the night swiftly, hardly making any sound. She doesn't have time to think as she runs through the forest, trees zooming past her. It's good if she starts thinking she'll turn around. She'll realize how much this could hurt her family, even though she's doing this to keep them safe.

Emily can't remember the last time she had run this fast. It felt good. It felt amazing. The adrenaline coursing through her veins keeps the pain away from her immediate attention.

All she can feel is the wind on her face and the leaves under her feet as she tears through the forest.

When she's far enough away from the crowd, Emily grabs the flashlight out of her hoodie pocket and turns it on. The woods around her light up with a golden glow as she sweeps her flashlight back and forth attempting to gain her bearings.

After a few moments, she recognizes her location and takes off towards the left, towards where she knows the barn is.

She isn't far from where she had left the team, and because of that, she needed to run as fast as she can to take him out before they got there. They probably hadn't even noticed she was gone yet. That buffer should give her just enough time to end this once and for all.

There were only two outcomes for tonight. Either Patrick would die, or she would. They were like opposite sides of a coin, only one could be on top at a time.

Knowing there were only two outcomes placates her slightly, even though one of those outcomes ends with her demise. She was ready for whatever happened tonight.

The moon casts a pale and eerie glow on the world below it. It's just enough light that she could see right in front of her without a flashlight, but it was a damn good thing she had one regardless.

Her breathing becomes short after running for a few minutes, her body had become a stranger to "long-distance running". Before the incident Emily could run for miles, now the only running she had done was the measly sprints across her room at night.

Emily stops to check the compass and take a swig out of the water bottle she had brought with her. The shaking of her hands causes her to drop the compass.

"Goddamnit," Emily hisses as she bends down to pick up the compass from the ground "you have to get it together" she grumbles to herself. She has no room for nerves, no room for error.

Cold metal is placed against the back of her neck the minute she stands from the ground.

"Hello, Emily. I've missed you."

It's as if the world stops. Every bone in Emily's body clenches in fear and she drops the compass out of sheer shock.

That voice haunts her nightmares. That voice plays on a loop in her head all hours of the day. That voice caused her soul to splinter into a million pieces, unable to put them back together.

That voice belongs to Patrick Young.

"So quiet all of a sudden, is everything alright?" Patrick presses the gun harder into the back of Emily's neck. A grin spreads across his face as he sees goosebumps form up and down the skin he touches.

Without warning, Emily kicks her right leg out behind her and turns to deliver a second blow before realizing it hadn't worked and is sent crashing into the tree behind her. She cries out in pain as her battered ribs connect with the hard surface.

Patrick brings his left hand around her throat pinning her in place while his right hand brings her own gun that he had taken from her waist to her forehead. A sickly sweet grin stretches across his face as he looks her in the eye. "I did miss our constant power struggle, did you?"

Emily looks straight ahead and avoids eye contac. The gun against her head pushes farther in when she doesn't answer. His fingernails dig into the tender skin of her throat which drawls blood.

"This is what's going to happen. I'm in charge, do you understand?"

When Emily doesn't nod he pulls her back from the tree and slams her back against the trunk with enough force to make tears prick her eyes. Emily nods, a stray tear sliding down her face.

"Good" he smiles and kisses her once on the lips "then we're gonna take a little walk."

XXXXXXXXXXX

They had walked in silence the few minutes to the barn. Patrick had kept the gun pressed against Emily's back the entire time, shoving it harder and harder into her spine the closer they got.

"Home sweet home" Patrick sing songs as he pushes her into the barn and locks the door behind him.

The familiar sight has Emily clenching her teeth to avoid throwing up. It was exactly the same as she remembered it, down to the smell.

"I'm sure you're probably fighting a flashback right now, please don't let me interrupt you" Patrick shoves her towards the autopsy table in the middle "how are you coping with all of this by the way? I know nightmares can be a nasty son of a bitch."

Emily loses her footing from the unexpected shove and topples pitifully to the ground. Her injuries were flaring up and it was getting harder and harder to ignore the pain.

"Get up," Patrick says harshly as he grabs her by the hair and yanks her up, throwing her small frame onto the table "we have things to do."

Emily goes to throw her elbow at him but Patrick had seen it coming. He slams the gun down on her wrist.

 **Crack**

A howl of pain leaves Emily's lips as she cradles her right wrist. White hot pain shoots down her arm as tears leak down her eyes. It has to be sprained if not broken.

While she's distracted, Patrick tightens the restraints around her legs and her left arm. It takes little effort to shove her right arm in its restraint.

Seconds after all of her limbs are restrained, Emily finally understands where she is and what's about to happen.

 _No no no no no no no no no_

Patrick gets on top of her, the grin never fading from his demonically handsome face.

Emily's first instinct is to fight; to claw and scratch and scream and scrape.

 _That's what gets him off._

Instead, when he kisses her she remains still. She even remains still when his hands wander over her body.

The flashbacks are fighting for control but she refuses to give it up.

A frustrated growl leaves Patrick's lips as she remains unmoving under him. He hits her once, twice, three times yet still she remains unmoving.

"What's wrong, can't get it up?" Emily smirks at him with her head raised from the table. She quirks her right eyebrow "can't say I'm surprised, you don't have much to work with anyway. Is that a tear I see, are you crying?" Emily laughs at his displeasure.

"You bitch! I'll give you something to cry about!" With sharp movements, he undoes her restraints and drags her off of the table by her hair.

The contents in Emily's pocket fall out and clatter to the floor.

As Patrick lays eyes on the handcuffs his eyes widen and he clamors to get them. In seconds he has Emily's right arm cuffed to the table. He had tightened it almost all the way, squeezing painfully against her now damaged wrist.

There is a madness that wasn't in his eyes before, and somehow Emily thinks this new situation is worse than being restrained on the table.

Patrick reaches into his back pocket and removes a revolver. He empties the chamber of all bullets except one and spins the chamber back into place.

"Russian Roulette, a game I have always wanted to play but never got the chance. Tonight seems like a perfect opportunity. I now realize you'll never be mine, and if I can't have you no one can."

"I'm not playing your damn game." Emily stares at him coldly but her voice shakes. She had no control over the situation, and they both know that.

"Oh I think you are," Patrick says simply before removing a small black item from his pocket "because if you don't, I'll blow your team to oblivion. You said they were in the woods right?"

The blood drains from Emily's face. "That's fake, this is ridiculous. There's no way you could have wired the entire forest."

 _Please god, no_

"You can't be sure though, can you? I take it you've already seen some of my handy work when you look at agents Hotchner, Rossi, and Jareau. Tell me, Emily, what would little Jack do without his father? Henry without his mother?"

Emily takes in a sharp breath, every neuron in her body firing on all cylinders. Adrenaline pounds in her veins as does blood in her ears.

"But do what you want" Patrick shrugs "If you're wrong, you'll be responsible for killing your entire team. Are you ready to take that chance?"

His eyes light up as Emily shakes her head no, delighted to have an audience to play the game with. "Good choice, Emily. Don't worry love, I'll go first."

The tension in the barn is palpable as Patrick slowly brings the revolver to his face, Emily's service weapon tucked deep in his back pocket.

"You shouldn't be afraid of dying, Emily. Death is natural." The revolver touches his forehead as he locks eyes with brunette. Without blinking he pulls the trigger.

 **Click**

The chamber was empty.

"Your turn," he says as he hands the gun over to her "now, you could shoot me but as we've discussed I'll turn all those nice people into ashes. The chance that I die before pushing this button is quite slim."

Emily takes the gun with a shaking left hand. Her body fights her as she slowly brings the gun to her temple. There is no emotion in her eyes and her mouth is parted slightly as she makes contact with her forehead.

Her entire body shakes like a leaf as she brings her finger closer and closer to the trigger. This wasn't how she thought tonight was going to go.

Blood pumps in her ears and her body feels like it's on fire.

Emily breathes deeply, possibly her last breath on earth. She looks around at her surroundings, possiblly the last thing she'll see before she dies.

"Do it, do it now!" Patrick steps closer to her with a face of pure delight. He's shaking as well but it's out of excitement and now fear.

Emily curls her finger around the trigger.

 _Five_

 _Four_

 _Three_

 _Two_

 _One_

 **Click**

The chamber was empty.

Emily lets out a sharp breath and her body pitches forward. Never had she felt so close to death, never had she felt anything like this before. It is terrible and the rush of adrenaline has her shaking even harder.

"Bravo, Emily!" Patrick wastes no time taking the revolver from her. "How good did that feel? You almost died!"

Emily shakes her head, tears trickling slowly out of her eyes "you're sick, you're so fucking twisted."

Patrick cackles and brings the revolver to his forehead "You may be right my dear, but am I lucky?"

Emily shuts her eyes and waits for the bang to come. It doesn't. Instead, she hears the faint clicking of a chamber coming up blank. When she opens her eyes she looks directly at Patrick.

"I guess that answers tha,t" he says nonchalantly before thrusting the gun back into her right hand "your turn."

Her arm refuses to move. The gun shakes wildly in her left hand as a few more tears leak out of her eyes. This couldn't be happening, this couldn't be the way she died.

Everything she had worked for would be forgotten, the only thing people would remember her by was her last few horrendous minutes on this earth.

"Come on, Emily. Don't keep me waiting. They'll be here soon, you have to do it now. If you don't do it in the next ten seconds I'll blow your friends to smithereens."

"Ten."

"Nine."

"Eight."

"I can't" Emily screeches out "I can't do this."

"Seven,"

"Six."

Emily lets out a sharp cry and brings the gun to her forehead. She couldn't cause the death of her family.

"Five."

"Four."

"Three."

 _I don't want to die_

"Two."

Her finger curls around the trigger in preparation. Three chambers out of the six were empty, that means she has a 33% chance of the bullet being in this chamber. That's low. She's okay. She'll be okay.

"One."

 **Click**

The chamber was empty.

A gush of air leaves Emily's lungs and she gasps to try and control her frantic breathing. If possible, she begins to shake more.

Patrick grabs the revolver from her hand, making sure to stay far enough so Emily can't take the trigger or her gun from his pocket, and steps back. "Look how far we've come! When I first saw you I absolutely knew I had to have you and now look at us! We'll be together forever!" His grin is lopsided as he brings the gun lazily to his forehead.

 _Let it be him. Please let it be him._

"There's a 50% chance this chamber has the bullet in it, I bet you even wish it does. It doesn't matter if I die right now, Emily. We're tied, you and me. You'll think about me everyday for the rest of your life."

Crickets chirp somewhere outside of the barn, and it strikes Emily as funny that there is life outside of this barn. That not everyone is forced to live their worst nightmare like she is right now.

The two lock eyes as his finger closes around the trigger.

"Do you think I'm going to hell?"

"Yes," Emily says plainly through chattering teeth.

"I don't think so."

 **Click**

The chamber was empty.

Emily's body jumps as she hears the click, eyes never leaving Patrick's. She begins shaking her head back and forth.

"You know what that means. Ladies and gentleman, we have a winner! From the Behavioral Analysis Unit in the FBI agent Emily Prentiss!" Patrick projects his voice loudly as if he has an actual audience.

Emily continues to shake uncontrollably. Her eyes are large but unseeing, her brain is unable to process the scene in front of her.

Patrick stalks toward her slowly, toying with his prey. "How does it feel, knowing you're going to die?"

The crickets have stopped chirping.

The wind has stopped blowing.

"To know that this is the last thing you're ever going to see?"

The leaves have stopped rustling.

The birds have stopped singing

"To know that I'll be the last person that touches you?"

She feels the metal revolver press against her temple. Patrick holds it there with his right hand. His body is behind her, his hand wrapped around her waist holding her in place.

"Are you ready, Emily?"

Patrick presses the gun harder into her right temple.

It's true, what they say. Your life does flash in front of your eyes before you die. She sees images of her team, her family.

Reid doing physics magic at their desk clump.

Rossi cooking for them, Italian of course, in his mansion.

Garcia shoving her into a dressing room to try on some crazy outfit that Emily would never pick for herself.

JJ sitting on her couch across from her laughing about some piece of office gossip Garcia had told her.

Derek running in front of her as she tries to close the gap between them, competing for a better mile time.

Hotch beckoning her forward with Jack slung across his back, the trio playing at the park.

Elizabeth and Robert smiling at her while she walks across the graduation stage.

The places she had gone and the things she had bought meant nothing compared to the people she had loved. They were everything to her, they are everything to her.

Patrick presses the gun harder into her right temple.

Emily Prentiss had lived a good life.

A gun sounds off, a body drops to the floor.

Emily stands alive convulsing in fear, Patrick dead at her feet. Her face is covered in blood, his blood.

Everything sounds like white noise, like she's underwater.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she registers the people calling her name frantically.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she registers paramedics asking if she can hear them.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she registers the arms that wrap a blanket around her body and hug her firmly.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she registers Derek picking up the trigger from Patrick's dead hands and saying "It's fake, the trigger is a toy."

 **Xxxxxxxxxxx**

 **WOW OKAY THAT WAS A LOT. I GOT A LITTLE EMOTIONAL WRITING THE LAST SCENE LOLOL. ALSO For the last scene I modified it from SVU's episode where liv gets abducted by William lewis oops tehehe.**

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